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Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

Schadenboner posted:

No every road in the galaxy didn't need to somehow run through Mos Eisley.

Reads aloud the wookieepedia entry for gamorrean door guard #3 who didnt tip in a restaurant once which lead to the bothan waiter quitting that job to go help steal the death star plans, dying a hero's death and changing the course of the war.


It's fan wikis. Fan wikis are the shittiest piece of garbage tech in science fiction.

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Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 46 days!


Error 404 posted:

Reads aloud the wookieepedia entry for gamorrean door guard #3 who didnt tip in a restaurant once which lead to the bothan waiter quitting that job to go help steal the death star plans, dying a hero's death and changing the course of the war.


It's fan wikis. Fan wikis are the shittiest piece of garbage tech in science fiction.

EU is the original fan wiki.

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

Schadenboner posted:

EU is the original fan wiki.

So we agree then.
real talk, I had sooo loving many of those books and comics and just...ugh.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




i read a lot of star wars eu when i was a child and i always liked the stories that involved han and chewie jumping through hoops to maintain or upgrade the falcon

i dont think id ever have read any of those if i wasnt a kid in the 90s and i dont think anybody that wasnt a kid should ahve read them lol

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 46 days!


The only canonical EU things are:
  • Han died in the Pacific North West/Chewie is Sasquatch
  • The Endor Holocaust happened and was cynically covered-up by the New Republic*

*: This is actually counter-EU but it's still loving true.

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

Statutory Ape posted:

i read a lot of star wars eu when i was a child and i always liked the stories that involved han and chewie jumping through hoops to maintain or upgrade the falcon

i dont think id ever have read any of those if i wasnt a kid in the 90s and i dont think anybody that wasnt a kid should ahve read them lol

I liked the stories where (mostly) nobody from the movies showed up, just some randos in star wars doing star wars stuff.


Lookin at you, Wraith Squadron and I, Jedi.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth; I am a citizen of the world.




Schadenboner posted:

I really really liked early Star Wars where Han Solo was just a dirtbag with a ship that was p.deece but that fundamentally amounted to one of the hot rods in American Graffiti and the gift of gab.

No, parsec didn't need to be re-defined as a measure of time you loving assholes, he was just fleecing a rube. No every road in the galaxy didn't need to somehow run through Mos Eisley.

Imagine instead that those narratives are by Luke himself using sockpuppets to make himself look less dumb.

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 46 days!


Tulip posted:

Imagine instead that those narratives are by Lucas himself using sockpuppets to make himself look less dumb.

galagazombie
Oct 31, 2011


Error 404 posted:

I liked the stories where (mostly) nobody from the movies showed up, just some randos in star wars doing star wars stuff.


Lookin at you, Wraith Squadron and I, Jedi.

Despite how absolutely terrible a huge chunk of the EU was, and it definitely needed to be pruned, there was still a lot of good stuff. And just like you say that happened most often when the movie cast was nowhere to be found, or at least only peripherally involved. The Rogue Squadron Books and most of the comics Dark Horse put out are good examples of this.

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

galagazombie posted:

Despite how absolutely terrible a huge chunk of the EU was, and it definitely needed to be pruned, there was still a lot of good stuff. And just like you say that happened most often when the movie cast was nowhere to be found, or at least only peripherally involved. The Rogue Squadron Books and most of the comics Dark Horse put out are good examples of this.

I agree totally. Wraith is one of my favorites (yub nub motherfuckers) and Corran Horn is objectively the best jedi.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




Oh here's a good one speaking of star wars eu. The Jedi were launching torpedoes using the force to avoid missile jamming lmao

They literally just pushed em manually thru space w their minds

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

Statutory Ape posted:

Oh here's a good one speaking of star wars eu. The Jedi were launching torpedoes using the force to avoid missile jamming lmao

They literally just pushed em manually thru space w their minds

Jedi completely lack chill.

poo poo, did Qui Gon take the secret of dank-rear end space weed to his grave or what?

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011



Well, he didn't exactly stay in his grave, so...

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




Error 404 posted:

Jedi completely lack chill.

poo poo, did Qui Gon take the secret of dank-rear end space weed to his grave or what?

now we know what was special about the dagobah system

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005







The dankobud system

Cerv
Sep 14, 2004

This is a silly post with little news value.



synthehol
who invented alcohol that doesn't get you drunk. who wants that?

Musluk
May 23, 2011




Cerv posted:

synthehol
who invented alcohol that doesn't get you drunk. who wants that?

The borg, I assume?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCp-Wv-frBU

Cerv
Sep 14, 2004

This is a silly post with little news value.



Musluk posted:

The borg, I assume?

well gently caress those losers

Guyver
Dec 5, 2006



SlothfulCobra posted:

Overpopulation doesn't seem to really jive with the fact that there's so much empty land for the Gundam to fight in and for White Base to scoot across on Earth in Universal Century.

Before the show started they forcibly shipped most of the people on earth to colonies. The only people that stayed are the politicians, billionaires and enough people to serve them.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Guyver posted:

Before the show started they forcibly shipped most of the people on earth to colonies. The only people that stayed are the politicians, billionaires and enough people to serve them.

Yeah, IIRC the assorted background materials and opening narration vary, but it puts something like anywhere from half to three-quarters of the population in space (Which I think totals 10-12 billion?), dropping the population of Earth to 3-4 billion.

Then the first month of the war kills half humanity between nukes, gassing, and the colony drop, and the show doesnít get to Earth until after itís been a conventional war zone for months, so everything looks empty and abandoned cause it essentially is. I think the only populated city on Earth of any size the original series is Belfast.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


crossposting from the Scam Citizen thread but they added some stupid poo poo recently


space billards!


there's a disinfecting room that will remove infectious diseases... but it's only... right at the loving entrance to medbay. christ


hey remember the space map room in the star trek movies. they added one to star citizen, but it's totally loving worthless. also you have to hit three buttons just to turn the control panel on. lmao

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

#RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000





I admit I suddenly curious about the gameplay implications of a non-rectangular pool table now.

Royal Updog
Sep 26, 2019

Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

Sanguinia posted:

I admit I suddenly curious about the gameplay implications of a non-rectangular pool table now.

You have already put more thought into it then the devs.

The table should change shape after every shot.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



oh but seriously I posted:

You have already put more thought into it then the devs.

The table should change shape after every shot.

That would be cool. This being star citizen the cue will glitch through the table, hit someone in the head, and you'll get a crime stat (they did actually implement that, yes?)

Sarcastro
Dec 28, 2000
Elite member of the Grammar Nazi Squad that

Neo Rasa posted:

But for real chairs on Federation starship bridges are some of the absolute dumbest tech in all of fiction for not having seat belts. Like, Federation Command or whatever, come on, do you SEE the poo poo these ships run into every day?

I really loved that in the 2009 movie the Enterprise bridge did in fact have fancy robo-seatbelts.

Maigius
Jun 29, 2013




In one TNG episode, the Ferengi are shown to have transporters that can remove clothes. This does beg the question if all transporters can do that.

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




i wonder how many transporter button pushers were fired for accidentally leaving their CO's uniform on shore

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

Statutory Ape posted:

i wonder how many transporter button pushers were fired for accidentally leaving their CO's uniform on shore

That's why you get people like O'brien to run your transporter. Just dead inside and lacking the creativity to pull 'pranks' with dangerous equipment.

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

427 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, DEFENSIBLE NATIONAL TITLES AND COUNTING


Imagine the murders possible with a transporter. Just rematerialize 30% of the ambassador's arterial wall, please

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




GD_American posted:

Imagine the murders possible with a transporter. Just rematerialize 30% of the ambassador's arterial wall, please

you could probably find a real clever way to give somebody a stroke

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth; I am a citizen of the world.




High Precision Transporters would be an incredible medical advance.

galagazombie
Oct 31, 2011


I know there was at least one time they solved a disease by simply not transporting it along with the person.

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

427 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, DEFENSIBLE NATIONAL TITLES AND COUNTING


galagazombie posted:

I know there was at least one time they solved a disease by simply not transporting it along with the person.

Scotty knew that "1 to beam up" meant leave the syphiherpAIDS back on the planet with the green women

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

One Potato to rule them all,
One Potato to find them,
One Potato to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.





Bread Liar

Statutory Ape posted:

I'm gonna also vote "the self destruct system " and it doesn't matter which one

I remember a scifi movie from the 80s where the conceit is a prison ship crashes on modern day Earth and the single prisoner on board escapes. If left unchecked will wipe out all life on the planet.

With the the aid of a human cop, the No Nonsense Sexy Alien PilotTM gets the deadly alien back on the ship and into space. But the alien is running loose on board, so the cops goes, "We have no choice, activate the self destruct!"

The pilot looks at him and asks, "Why would a prison ship have a self destruct?"

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Megillah Gorilla posted:

I remember a scifi movie from the 80s where the conceit is a prison ship crashes on modern day Earth and the single prisoner on board escapes. If left unchecked will wipe out all life on the planet.

With the the aid of a human cop, the No Nonsense Sexy Alien PilotTM gets the deadly alien back on the ship and into space. But the alien is running loose on board, so the cops goes, "We have no choice, activate the self destruct!"

The pilot looks at him and asks, "Why would a prison ship have a self destruct?"

I mean, prison ship is a case that absolutely makes sense to have a means of self-destructing, scuttling or isolating it. (Kids Next Door has the same question asked why the ship has a 'Blow up the engines' button) It's a prison, designed to keep its inmates contained, and in the case the ship is compromised and the inmates are taking over the controls, that's the ultimate escape prevention.

Military vessels may be similarly designed to prevent capture, and even civilian ones may have it as a safety feature- in case you're careening uncontrollably into a major settlement, the self-destruct prevents it from ploughing into skyscrapers and hopefully renders it a less drastic cloud of debris.

And as for installing one in the first place, a lot of the time it's just no longer stopping the power source from exploding energetically.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

She's delusional,
"where's god", etc.
Completely suicidal.
One day she snaps.
She wants to kill herself
but she realizes that
teen suicide is out this year
and homicide is a much healthier therapeutic expression.


Schadenboner posted:

I really really liked early Star Wars where Han Solo was just a dirtbag with a ship that was p.deece but that fundamentally amounted to one of the hot rods in American Graffiti and the gift of gab.

No, parsec didn't need to be re-defined as a measure of time you loving assholes, he was just fleecing a rube. No every road in the galaxy didn't need to somehow run through Mos Eisley.

If you're talking about Solo, you realize the film's a tall tale being told by an unreliable narrator, possibly Han himself, right?

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

She's delusional,
"where's god", etc.
Completely suicidal.
One day she snaps.
She wants to kill herself
but she realizes that
teen suicide is out this year
and homicide is a much healthier therapeutic expression.


It's always bothered me a little that the "holograms" in Star Trek are not actually holograms.

First Contact seems to show a little self awareness about this when Picard shoots a bunch of Borgs with a holographic gun and Alfre Woodard asks "I thought you said it's all a bunch of holograms, if it's a holograms..."

And Picard explains he turned off the holodeck safeties, seemingly oblivious to how this doesn't answer her question AT ALL.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

She's delusional,
"where's god", etc.
Completely suicidal.
One day she snaps.
She wants to kill herself
but she realizes that
teen suicide is out this year
and homicide is a much healthier therapeutic expression.


xutech posted:

Federation uniforms...

Star Trek Captain: Number 2 I would like you to go down to the med bay to get some dilithium crystals for important reasons.

Number 2: (waking from erotic reverie) er, I would prefer not to if it's okay with you captain...please send the android..

Star Trek Captain: No it is important and it is an order.

Number 2: (trying to punch self in dick) uh, yes sir, just give me a few more seconds.

The first Star Trek movie could've been called Camel Toe: The Motion Picture

Statutory Ape
Sep 12, 2017




Ghost Leviathan posted:

I mean, prison ship is a case that absolutely makes sense to have a means of self-destructing, scuttling or isolating it. (Kids Next Door has the same question asked why the ship has a 'Blow up the engines' button) It's a prison, designed to keep its inmates contained, and in the case the ship is compromised and the inmates are taking over the controls, that's the ultimate escape prevention.

Military vessels may be similarly designed to prevent capture, and even civilian ones may have it as a safety feature- in case you're careening uncontrollably into a major settlement, the self-destruct prevents it from ploughing into skyscrapers and hopefully renders it a less drastic cloud of debris.

And as for installing one in the first place, a lot of the time it's just no longer stopping the power source from exploding energetically.

otoh prisons and prison transport vehicles dont have this functionality

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Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Statutory Ape posted:

otoh prisons and prison transport vehicles dont have this functionality

The real-life analogy you're looking for is a prison hulk, which if you count scuttling, totally do.

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