Why is there not a jar of salsa.. - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Begin, Year Of Butts > Why is there not a jar of salsa..

ClamdestineBoyster

.. that you can fit your whole fist in to get the last little bit of salsa without busting up a bunch of chips and getting frustrated?

# ? Oct 28, 2020 00:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jan 22, 2021 00:58

Sid Vicious

You can transfer salsa to a bowl or even a larger jar if you try, or so I've heard I just smash the top off when it starts getting low, yeah sometimes I cut my hand a lot but it adds a bit of tang you know

# ? Oct 28, 2020 00:48

ClamdestineBoyster

Sid Vicious posted:

You can transfer salsa to a bowl or even a larger jar if you try, or so I've heard I just smash the top off when it starts getting low, yeah sometimes I cut my hand a lot but it adds a bit of tang you know

But then what will I eat my cereal out of?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 28, 2020 00:50

Dead Hippie Ghost: tears for queers
afk -> you know me
sponsored by Healer LLC

Any time this happens to me I take all of the biggest chips and hold them between my pointer and middle finger and dip down as far as I can but the chimp always break. God forbid you start running out of chips and salsa at the same time cause then u gotta do it w little chips!??!

# ? Oct 28, 2020 00:57

Sid Vicious

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

But then what will I eat my cereal out of?

ah heck

# ? Oct 28, 2020 01:42

Ass-penny

Not all of us have the luxury of other dishes to serve salsa in, and I agree with the op. I will usually wash a spoon in that situation and apply to the chips directly.

# ? Oct 28, 2020 01:52

Royal Updog: Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

you don't have a salsa fountain?

_{hat tip to khanstant. original sig do not steal}

# ? Oct 28, 2020 01:57

Finger Prince: "I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)

Dead Hippie Ghost posted:

Any time this happens to me I take all of the biggest chips and hold them between my pointer and middle finger and dip down as far as I can but the chimp always break. God forbid you start running out of chips and salsa at the same time cause then u gotta do it w little chips!??!

My friend, let me lead you into the enlightenment of pouring the little chip bits at the bottom of the bag into the dregs of the salsa jar, stirring them up and eating them with a spoon like savory corn flakes cereal.

# ? Oct 28, 2020 02:07

ClamdestineBoyster

I was thinking, and here me out on this one guys, about some sort of electrostatic device that would make crumbled chips stick to your hand so you can dip it in the jar and lick the chibs and salsa off. So this device is essentially a piece of wool mounted vertically on plywood. There is a fake hand holding a balloon, and a small motor to make the fake hand rub the balloon on the wool. You put a gold anode on the thumb and a zinc and copper diode on the pinky, and then you hook the other end to your hand similarly so the static transfers, then you roll your hands in crushed chips and jam it down in the jar. Now your hand is covered in snack and you can put that last bit of salsa to good use. Literally everyone should have one of these mounted in their kitchen, there�s not a good excuse not to really.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 28, 2020 02:20

Half-wit: Idiot savant or just plain idiot? You decide.

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

But then what will I eat my cereal out of?

Finger Prince posted:

My friend, let me lead you into the enlightenment of pouring the little chip bits at the bottom of the bag into the dregs of the salsa jar, stirring them up and eating them with a spoon like savory corn flakes cereal.

Combine these two options. Crush up your cereal and pour it into the bowl you've poured your salsa in, and eat them with a spoon like savory corn-salsa cereal.

# ? Oct 28, 2020 11:08

Gluten Free Dad

I just smash mine, i find the broken glass adds an extra zing to otherwise milquetoast salsa experiences

# ? Oct 28, 2020 11:14

Glutes Are Great: Well yeah, but honestly..

oh but seriously I posted:

you don't have a salsa fountain?

https://giant.gfycat.com/NiftySlowBoaconstrictor.webm

# ? Oct 28, 2020 14:24

take the moon: by Fluffdaddy

Finger Prince posted:

My friend, let me lead you into the enlightenment of pouring the little chip bits at the bottom of the bag into the dregs of the salsa jar, stirring them up and eating them with a spoon like savory corn flakes cereal.

holy heck

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 28, 2020 16:35