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Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008


facialimpediment posted:

also, that article is horrifically responsible because how the gently caress could he know if the couchfucker hosed that couch

Vance is a former Marine; 100% he hosed that couch

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Bored As Fuck
Jan 1, 2006

I HAVE A MICROPENIS AND I WON'T REST UNTIL YOUR CHILDREN DIE FOR IT
Fun Shoe
Only a Marine could conceive of a glove as a field expedient pocket pussy

kathmandu
Jul 11, 2004

Bored As gently caress posted:

Only a Marine could conceive of a glove as a field expedient pocket pussy

Creampie to Garcia

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns
JOKE DUMP

(watching a casting couch video) when’s this girl gonna leave

https://x.com/desusnice/status/1816272038203396571

he's heterosectional

with all this stress I bet JD Vance is desperate to unload on his therapist's couch

woulda been a bad night for Biden to resign anyway, as you don’t want to step on the big “does JD Vance gently caress couches” story. (He’s by-sectional, as I understand it?)

That’s right. He doesn’t “have sex” with couches. He doesn’t “make love” to couches. JD Vance FUCKS couches.

JD Vance’s campaign tour should be called Couchella

JD Vance needs his Sister Sofa moment

Vance is sofa gone he might have to pullout.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
“O.J. Simpson killed his ex wife! He admits to it on page eighty of If I Did It!”

AP Fact Check: “No, O.J. Simpson did not kill Nicole Brown Simpson.”

Stultus Maximus
Dec 21, 2009

USPOL May

facialimpediment posted:

JOKE DUMP

(watching a casting couch video) when’s this girl gonna leave

https://x.com/desusnice/status/1816272038203396571

he's heterosectional

with all this stress I bet JD Vance is desperate to unload on his therapist's couch

woulda been a bad night for Biden to resign anyway, as you don’t want to step on the big “does JD Vance gently caress couches” story. (He’s by-sectional, as I understand it?)

That’s right. He doesn’t “have sex” with couches. He doesn’t “make love” to couches. JD Vance FUCKS couches.

JD Vance’s campaign tour should be called Couchella

JD Vance needs his Sister Sofa moment

Vance is sofa gone he might have to pullout.

The bigger the cushion the sweeter the pushin', or so I have read in Hillbilly Elegy

Bored As gently caress posted:

Only a Marine could conceive of a glove as a field expedient pocket pussy

I don't understand the "inside out" part. Like, a latex glove is the same inside and out.


Also drat... Covid took energy out of Biden and he didn't have a lot to spare already.

Stultus Maximus fucked around with this message at 02:08 on Jul 25, 2024

silvergoose
Mar 18, 2006

IT IS SAID THE TEARS OF THE BWEENIX CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS




facialimpediment posted:



he's heterosectional



By far the best of the lot

Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008


https://twitter.com/ItsTomsCustoms/status/1815800143100211392

https://twitter.com/SeanRossSapp/status/1816276152807481723

Seeing these close together on the TL made me chuckle

Vortex Street
Oct 23, 2010

I walked right out of the machinery
Trump filed an FEC complaint to keep Kamala from getting Biden’s campaign funds.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2024/07/24/trump-challenges-kamala-harris-getting-bidens-funds-heres-why-it-likely-wont-work/

Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008



https://bsky.app/profile/nycsouthpaw.bsky.social/post/3kxy6xxi5av2m

An accurate take, I am sure when it is 2027 the Harris campaign will have to pay some fine

Kaiser Schnitzel
Mar 29, 2006

Schnitzel mit uns



Wait I thought trump hated politically motivated lawfare???

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns

Vortex Street posted:

Trump filed an FEC complaint to keep Kamala from getting Biden’s campaign funds.

How horny do you think Vance got in high school history class the first time they mentioned the Ottoman Empire

They planted the couch story to distract us from the time at Yale when he barebacked a credenza

southern grandmas had that plastic cover on their couch for a reason I guess

Was it a leather couch Vance fornicated with? - It was a pullout.

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Watched Biden’s speech, ok but dang struggling with short format while seated with teleprompter. Surprised getting out of race was a “close call”

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns

Nick Soapdish posted:

Seeing these close together on the TL made me chuckle

Donnie is a wrestling nut (he really did think Vince McMahon got blown up in that bus), so it was probably deliberate.

Also, because he's online as hell, I can guarantee he's seen the poo poo about couchfucking. I'd give even odds that he even asks Vance about it.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Couches, horses.

Trump sure knows how to pick ’em.

Suicide Watch
Sep 8, 2009
drat, just realized Biden just needs to attach Harris to any popular Biden policies and proposals she wants and she'd be able to claim credit for things typically only doable with the president's influence

Wombot
Sep 11, 2001

Ok, help me out here. I swear I'd heard about JD Vance loving a couch well before July 15, 2024. Google is poo poo and swamped with current results, but I feel like this came up when he was first elected to the Senate and Hillbilly Elegy entered the national consciousness.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
https://x.com/therealmattlamb/status/1815123589575717047

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Wombot posted:

Ok, help me out here. I swear I'd heard about JD Vance loving a couch well before July 15, 2024. Google is poo poo and swamped with current results, but I feel like this came up when he was first elected to the Senate and Hillbilly Elegy entered the national consciousness.

You can go to the news tab and narrow timeframe for the search.

I can’t find anything about it.

Forums search only turned up this, which is funny enough.

Randy Travesty posted:

JD Vance is gonna write a memoir about sitting on that crusty rear end couch in the gently caress Hut, smoking a spliff.

Herstory Begins Now
Aug 5, 2003

Bored As gently caress posted:

Only a Marine could conceive of a glove as a field expedient pocket pussy

it's a prison thing, too, but yeah him being a marine makes that about 10000x more likely to be true

Wombot
Sep 11, 2001

Platystemon posted:

You can go to the news tab and narrow timeframe for the search.

I can’t find anything about it.

Forums search only turned up this, which is funny enough.

Yeah I don't know if it was ever picked up where Google would index it with "News", I think it was just shitposting on Twitter.

Vortex Street
Oct 23, 2010

I walked right out of the machinery

Wombot posted:

Ok, help me out here. I swear I'd heard about JD Vance loving a couch well before July 15, 2024. Google is poo poo and swamped with current results, but I feel like this came up when he was first elected to the Senate and Hillbilly Elegy entered the national consciousness.

Snopes says it didn’t actually happen, but I’m still gonna call him a heterosectional for the rest of his days.

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



Herstory Begins Now posted:

it's a prison thing, too, but yeah him being a marine makes that about 10000x more likely to be true

JD looked at the ham slice mre and said "nah I got a glove"

nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!

Is that why hamburger helper was always sold out at the PX?

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Thank you, Johnny Hockey.

facialimpediment posted:

Also, because he's online as hell, I can guarantee he's seen the poo poo about couchfucking. I'd give even odds that he even asks Vance about it.

Donnie was asking about rumors of weird sex habits by Josh Mandel in the Senate race Vance won, so yes.

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns

facialimpediment posted:

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-jd-vance-sex-couch-038130326229

also, that article is horrifically responsible because how the gently caress could they know if the couchfucker hosed that couch

Um.

The AP pulled its "JD Vance didn't gently caress a couch" article.

You know what that means.



Edit: joke

TRUMP ADVISOR: sir, we're falling in the polls ever since you picked JD Vance
TRUMP: okay, but we were up comfortably. we've got a cushion
VANCE: [moves book over lap]

Edit 2:

Yotube: "Simpson Couch Gag Compilation"
JD Vance: (unzipping) This better be what I think it is

facialimpediment fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Jul 25, 2024

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


facialimpediment posted:

Yotube: "Simpson Couch Gag Compilation"
JD Vance: (unzipping) This better be what I think it is

:lol:

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Stultus Maximus posted:


I don't understand the "inside out" part. Like, a latex glove is the same inside and out.


I was wondering this too and saw a random thing on twitter where the problem lies in the powder that they use on the gloves makes your weird bang fest gummy, and the powder is apparently only on one side. I'm not sure if it's true but I sure as gently caress am not putting that in my google search.

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns

facialimpediment posted:

Um.

The AP pulled its "JD Vance didn't gently caress a couch" article.

You know what that means.

Oh HELL YEAH

https://x.com/maxwelltani/status/1816484890742845733?t=y1AyHXFnOkCk8lpHlqZazw&s=19

edit: turns out the editor was a la-z-boy

facialimpediment fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Jul 25, 2024

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

Thank you, Johnny Hockey.
https://x.com/atrupar/status/1816482779581775943

Can't wait for November when he uses this to attempt Civil War II: Geriatric Boogaloo.

Hannibal Rex
Feb 13, 2010
I'm kinda surprised how on point the Boys writing team has been after all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbnbzJAgqgc

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns

CBJSprague24 posted:

Can't wait for November when he uses this to attempt Civil War II: Geriatric Boogaloo.

The strategy is really, really dumb. According to Tim Alberta, Donnie pulled ALL of the RNC'S "get out the vote" funding because "I'll be the get out the vote effort".

That money will instead be used for an Election Integrity Force - lawyers, poll watchers, randos watching drop boxes, etc. There's a scary aspect to that, but also a hilarious downside of annihilating Republican downballot turn-out efforts.

https://x.com/TimAlberta/status/1811223372619297218?t=NsiGo8c5vqG4JVQma-MmcA&s=19

facialimpediment fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Jul 25, 2024

Zamujasa
Oct 27, 2010



Bread Liar
it is nice to see that, having completed its decades-long mission to hollow out the rest of american politics, the right is now hollowing out itself :v:

please continue to undermine the rest of your party, donnie. you're doin a heckuva job

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug
Pillbug

facialimpediment posted:

The strategy is really, really dumb. According to Tim Alberta, Donnie pulled ALL of the RNC'S "get out the vote" funding because "I'll be the get out the vote effort".

That money will instead be used for an Election Integrity Force - lawyers, poll watchers, randos watching drop boxes, etc. There's a scary aspect to that, but also a hilarious downside of annihilating Republican downballot turn-out efforts.

https://x.com/TimAlberta/status/1811223372619297218?t=NsiGo8c5vqG4JVQma-MmcA&s=19

Yeah because they haven't burned their legal avenues out in the courts with this crap already.

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Zamujasa posted:

it is nice to see that, having completed its decades-long mission to hollow out the rest of american politics, the right is now hollowing out itself :v:

please continue to undermine the rest of your party, donnie. you're doin a heckuva job

Holding out hope driving out the non-fanatic RNC staffers & unchecked grifting will mean continued stream of state GOP offices having power shut off & falling into infighting as incompetents can’t manage winnable local elections.

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


https://x.com/eagleman42069/status/1816288546023469097?t=M4wFk4_MdnJuwl5eZpm7Zw&s=19

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

facialimpediment posted:

The strategy is really, really dumb. According to Tim Alberta, Donnie pulled ALL of the RNC'S "get out the vote" funding because "I'll be the get out the vote effort".

That money will instead be used for an Election Integrity Force - lawyers, poll watchers, randos watching drop boxes, etc. There's a scary aspect to that, but also a hilarious downside of annihilating Republican downballot turn-out efforts.

https://x.com/TimAlberta/status/1811223372619297218?t=NsiGo8c5vqG4JVQma-MmcA&s=19

So voter intimidation and chaos?

How many polling place firebombs will cause enough of a problem to throw it to the House?

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns

davecrazy posted:

So voter intimidation and chaos?

How many polling place firebombs will cause enough of a problem to throw it to the House?

2020 was their shot to pull poo poo off like this, when Donnie had the Feds and states/localities weren't ready and had COVID to deal with.

For this election cycle, there aren't many Trumper election officials, so polling places are going to have plenty of security. Also, the real chuddy troublemakers are convinced every public gathering besides a trump rally is an excuse for Biden's secret police to grab them and put them in a gulag. There are even more Biden-appointed justices all over.

Extra bonus: Biden's in charge and the DOJ is eager to keep nailing domestic terrorists' asses to the wall on slam dunk January 6th-style cases. I know that for my precinct that I'm working we'll have quick access to cops if things get squirrelly.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug
Pillbug

facialimpediment posted:

2020 was their shot to pull poo poo off like this, when Donnie had the Feds and states/localities weren't ready and had COVID to deal with.

For this election cycle, there aren't many Trumper election officials, so polling places are going to have plenty of security. Also, the real chuddy troublemakers are convinced every public gathering besides a trump rally is an excuse for Biden's secret police to grab them and put them in a gulag. There are even more Biden-appointed justices all over.

Extra bonus: Biden's in charge and the DOJ is eager to keep nailing domestic terrorists' asses to the wall on slam dunk January 6th-style cases. I know that for my precinct that I'm working we'll have quick access to cops if things get squirrelly.

Yeah and they've largely shot their legal shot, and it was laughed out of even the most conservative courts, so this is basically just going in Trump's pockets.

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facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns
I really like the methodology of the NYT-Siena poll, as lately I think they're the ones with the best shot at getting it right. I've been curious as to what they'd show after the change, as Biden was down 6.

With 88% in favor of Biden's dropout, we're tied.

https://x.com/Nate_Cohn/status/1816544474887258382

https://x.com/gelliottmorris/status/1816547717289771445

That's basically matched what I've seen elsewhere. It's all margin-of-error poo poo at this point, tied race.

facialimpediment fucked around with this message at 21:41 on Jul 25, 2024

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