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Dec 16, 2011

what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
Bowling is pretty fuckin' good imo.
previous thread here

We used to have a bowling thread in SAS except the last post in it was 3 years ago so it got vaulted. Womp womp. With the world slowly coming out of lockdown, there's never been a better time to touch your balls.

I'm a filthy candlepin player by way of growing up in the heart of New England where a tenpin alley was an hour's drive away and much more expensive, so I'm probably not the best person to write an OP for a bowling thread but god damnit I'm gonna try. What the hell is candlepin bowling? I'm glad you asked. We might as well take a look at all four of the most common modern variants of bowling:

Ten-pin bowling (aka what most people consider regular bowling)

The undisputed king of bowling. Ten-pin bowling, named as to differentiate it from its German ancestor Kegelspiel that uses nine pins, features large bowling balls with holes for your fingers and pins that feature a distinctive flare around the midsection. Two balls per frame, ten frames per game. The name "ten-pin bowling" has sort of become a misnomer in the United States as nine-pin bowling is virtually extinct and the two other most popular bowling variants also use ten pins. Ten-pin's ubiquity has earned it the reputation of being what most people think of when someone says "bowling".

Candlepin bowling

Found prominently in New England and the Canadian Maritime provinces, candlepin bowling uses much smaller bowling balls that fit in the palm of your hand and pins that have the approximate width of an oversized matchstick, hence the term "candlepin". Candlepin has a couple major rule changes from ten-pin bowling: deadwood (pins that are knocked down) is not removed from the lane between rolls, and three balls are thrown per frame instead of two. The size of the ball and pins used in candlepin, combined with deadwood frequently sliding between standing pins and getting in the way, makes candlepin bowling significantly more difficult than ten-pin. In fact, candlepin has never seen a perfect game - the highest score ever recorded is 245.

Duckpin bowling

Supposedly popular in the mid-Atlantic states as well as Minnesota, duckpin bowling's take on the sport includes fat, stubby little pins, as if a ten-pin had eaten a ton of Burger King and started slouching down. A duckpin bowling ball is a little bit larger than a candlepin ball, and the pinset on a duckpin lane is slightly more compact. Due to their short stature and heavy base, duckpins are a lot more difficult to knock down than in other variants. The rules of duckpin bowling are largely the same as candlepin bowling. I have never seen a duckpin bowling alley in real life.

5-pin bowling

Played in Canada. I have no idea what this is. There are only five pins and each one is worth a different amount of points. It was invented by a random bowling alley owner after his patrons complained that ten-pin bowling was too strenuous (how very Canadian of them). The maximum possible score in 5-pin is 450 points rather than 300, and though it may seem more difficult to halve the number of pins in the lane, multiple people bowl perfect games every year. This counts as bowling I guess, and its overwhelming popularity in every province that isn't named New Brunswick or Nova Scotia earns it a place in this thread. The best thing I can say about 5-pin bowling is that it was featured on a stamp.

Let's watch some of bowling's greatest moments:


Dec 16, 2011

what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
shouts out to Critical for posting this great stuff about ten-pin bowling balls in the previous thread's OP:

Critical posted:

A. What kind of balls are there?


These balls slide down the lane due to a non-reactive coverstock. Used primarily as a spare ball since it goes relatively straight. A plastic ball can hook a few boards if sanded, so if you like a little movement on your spare ball don't be afraid to take it's surface down a little. I'll explain how to do so in a bit.


A little more reactive cover, Urethane balls came into popularity in the late 70s/early 80s. A urethane ball will have a smooth arc and reacts well with dryer lanes. They're pretty allergic to oil, so don't pull them out of the bag until the lanes are pretty well toasted. Urethane balls are having a small resurgence with the advent of shorter oil patterns. The Natural by Storm and the Blue Urethane Remake by Hammer are two recently released urethane balls.

Reactive Resin

Here's where we start to gain the large angular motions of today. RR balls will grab the dry back end of the lane and head toward the pocket with authority. They come in both Polished and Matte (or Solid) varieties. All drillings being equal, a polished ball will go longer and have a more angular break down the lane than it's solid counterpart. But a solid ball will hook a few board more.


The most aggressive balls will have a particle coverstock. A rough cover with more “teeth” to grab any friction it can on the lanes. These balls will soak up oil like a sponge so they require a good cleaning now and then. We'll go over that a little later.

B. Putting Holes In Your Balls.

Note: Everything from here on out that refers to direction will be based on a right handed bowler. Lefties just have to reverse directions.

Drilling today, while seemingly complicated, is actually easier than the drilling of 10 years ago. Drilling today is very personal and can be tailored to any individual's game, giving them a ball hook and reaction they prefer. Much better than “Throw the pin under the ring finger and hurl that bitch.”

I don't drill balls myself, but looking at a drilling chart can give you a case of the what the fucks if you don't know the terms. So here is some explanation.

PAP – Positive Axis Point: The axis your ball turns around before it makes it break to the pocket. The way your ball is drilled is tailored around this. Notated as, for example “4.35” by 1/4” up. What the gently caress does that even mean???

Imagine a vertical like drawn between your finger holes down through the center of your thumb hole. Then a perpendicular line from a point equidistant from your thumb and fingers. In the notation above, the PAP would be 4.35” to the right of the vertical line and 1/4” above the horizontal line. Bingo. If you were to put a piece of tape on that spot and throw the ball down the lane, the tape would stay rotating on that spot until the ball starts to make it's flip.

To find your PAP, go to a pro-shop. They will determine it from either looking at a track on an existing ball or filming you throwing a shot and gathering it from there.

CG – Center of Gravity – Self explanatory. This is based on the core of the ball and is marked. On storm balls, it looks like a little hurricane logo. Depending on drilling this can add side weight which will control how much and when a ball hooks.

MB – Mass Bias – Used on balls with asymmetrical cores. Denotes where the most mass is located on the core. This controls the shape of the hook.

Pin – Denotes the center of the core. This used to be what drilling was based around, not so much anymore. Adjusting the pin position can add or decrease length.

VAL – Vertical Axis Line – This is calculated depending on the layout of your ball. Arcs drawn specific distances from the Pin, MB and a Pin Buffer determined by the layout create a start point that you measure back from according to your PAP.

So what does all of this mean? I just want loving holes in my loving ball.

Layouts are usually notated by three numbers: Distance from Pin to PAP, Distance from MB to PAP, Pin buffer.

A good starting layout is the 4 x 4 x 2. So The pin is 4'' from your PAP, the MB is 4” from your PAP, and the VAL is calculated by the 2” Pin Buffer. So, on the VAL, the driller measures 4'' from your pin, 4'' from your MB. Using the PAP described above, he measures Ό'' below that mark and 4.35'' to the left. That is the center of your grip. Simple, eh?

Didn't think so. Use this PDF from Storm about the Virtual Gravity Nano to see how it works.

C. Caring For And Maintaining Your Balls

The simplest thing you can do to take care of your balls is to heed Douglas Adams' advice. Bring a towel. Use it to wipe the oil from your ball after every shot. EVERY shot. As oil soaks into a ball it's reaction will decrease. Especially on particle coverstocks. Wiping the oil off minimizes that.

Get a cleaner and wipe your ball down after every use. Pro shops sell them, you can use alcohol if you want. I use a ReactaClean solution made by Storm (I'm not on their staff, I swear.) on my Nano after every use.

Every 25 games or so you want to do a deep cleaning. This is amazingly simple. Go out and buy dish detergent with a strong degreaser. Lube up your ball. Wash it with warm water. Then wipe down with your cleaner of choice.

DO NOT put your ball in an oven or submerge it in scalding hot water. Temps over 120* cause the core to separate from the coverstock and cause cracks. Also, submerging your ball in water for a lengthy period of time will cause it to soak up said water and release it onto the lane, causing your house manager to hate you and hope you die.

Another part of maintenance is altering the surface of your ball. This means polishing (Bringing the surface UP) or sanding (Bringing the surface DOWN).

To polish a ball, throw it in one of those machines at your lanes for anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes. Or get some ball polish and do it yourself, you lazy gently caress.

To sand it DO NOT USE SANDPAPER WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS. You can bring a ball down with Abralon pads, which is how they prep a cover at the factory. They range from 200 to 4000, the lower the number, the rougher the surface. If you're lazy and cheap, you can do it with a ScotchBrite pad, although this is less recommended than the alternative.

You can alter any ball at any time BEFORE YOU PUT IT IN PLAY. Once it touches the lane you can do nothing more than wipe it with a towel. Bringing a ball up is always easier than bringing one down. And if you gently caress up and bring one down too much, you can always bring it back up again.

Altering the surface can help. For example, my Victory Road is pearlized, or polished. If I'm practicing before a tournament and coming in a board light and leaving 10s all day, I can do two things:

Move a board right. But on a sport pattern this can send the ball too high and gently caress up my day. Or I can pull out an Abralon pad, bring it down to a 2000 finish and watch it hook a touch more and eliminate the lighter hits. After the tournament, I stick it in the polisher and bring it back up to a high polish again.

Note that bringing a ball down will also make it hook a tad earlier, so be prepared for that.

Mar 16, 2016

5 pin bowling owns because the balls are the size of a dragonball and you can whip those suckers so fast

bowling is too expensive.

Nov 5, 2011






more like BOLLOCKnese
I just started bowling and I agree

Also bowling is hard

Dec 16, 2011

what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
around here for candlepin it's $2.50 to rent a pair of shoes and $3.75 a string. not too bad

Feral Integral
Jun 6, 2006


Sep 11, 2001

Just started in a fun-type league. Averaging 140 so far. Thanks for making a new thread, lots of good info in the OP.

Mar 5, 2003

happy anniversary to a king

Dec 16, 2011

what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
bumping this thread to say that I bowled a candlepin 262 triple tonight. best single string was a 104, followed by an 85 and an 83. my goal is to bowl 100+ consistently so I'm glad I hit my mark once, though I really need to work on my consistency. bowled the above with house balls and in house shoes, kinda curious how much things might change with a proper pair of shoes and my own balls. I'm a lefty so I've been trying to really hone in my approach and follow through - I think I'm putting a little too much emphasis on humming the loving thing down the lane in situations where a little more touch on the ball would be good

I'm halfway to Paul Berger's legendary 500 triple though :toot: left myself far too many full Worcesters tonight though. need more accuracy on the first ball for sure

barnold fucked around with this message at 03:54 on Oct 1, 2022

Sep 11, 2003

"Walking Schwindel, smart move."
Oh sweet there is a bowling thread. I had the old one bookmarked but it disappeared awhile back.

Bought a Phase V recently and it's great. Looking forward to getting more consistent with it


Sep 11, 2003

"Walking Schwindel, smart move."
Had never averaged over 170 in a season before and am ending this one with a 178 average, hell yeah

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