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Gnossiennes
Jan 7, 2013


Loving chairs more every day!

Cat Face Joe posted:

few things better than the "in a meeting" teams status but not actually being in a meeting

i have a weekly meeting that stopped six months ago and i've left on my calendar for this exact reason

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Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
had my first completely useless meatspace meeting in years this morning. America’s back, baby!

AnimeIsTrash
Jun 30, 2018



guy who has a meeting at 7:30 in the morning @_@

Zlodo
Nov 24, 2006

AnimeIsTrash posted:

guy who has a meeting at 7:30 in the morning @_@

lmao whoever booked this hates everyone

Gnossiennes
Jan 7, 2013


Loving chairs more every day!

i allow 7am meetings for european colleagues and 5-6pm meetings for colleagues in south/southeast/east asia only. if you're US tho? gently caress you.

i have a couple weekly meetings with a team spread across US, south & southeast asia, and eastern europe at ~8am, but that time is poo poo for basically everyone but the US people.

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
when i have to collaborate with people in other time zones i simply use email

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

the earliest we have meetings is 10am

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


project manager “@all Please Join” 2 seconds after starting the meeting

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


OldAlias posted:

the earliest we have meetings is 10am

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


jesus WEP posted:

project manager “@all Please Join” 2 seconds after starting the meeting

last job i had a pm that would start calling people on teams immediately after the meeting started. let me tell ya when i'm in something much more important than a daily standup presenting to executives it's real great when my teams client starts ringing over and over again

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe

OldAlias posted:

the earliest we have meetings is 10am

I’m jealous. I work for a company with an office in Germany and one in the Bay Area. I was told that I’d have 7AM meetings once or twice a month during the interview process.

Turns out that all of the stakeholders for my job are in the German office, and my meeting schedule is more like 7AM 3-4 times a week :fail:

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Jan 14, 2023

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Poopernickel posted:

I’m jealous. I work for a company with an office in Germany and one in the Bay Area. I was told that I’d have 7AM meetings once or twice month during the interview process.

Turns out it’s more like 3 times a week.

just dont show up for them

git apologist
Jun 4, 2003

Asymmetric POSTer posted:

just dont show up for them

giogadi
Oct 27, 2009

person who, whenever they start talking, you gotta try really hard not to roll your eyes on camera because you know whatever they’re about to say is gonna be hella stupid

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


giogadi posted:

person who, whenever they start talking, you gotta try really hard not to roll your eyes on camera because you know whatever they’re about to say is gonna be hella stupid
im not affected by this because i can’t roll my eyes and talk simultaneously

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

giogadi posted:

person who, whenever they start talking, you gotta try really hard not to roll your eyes on camera because you know whatever they’re about to say is gonna be hella stupid

my boss?

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
a good #lifehack to deal with that is to have a water bottle handy and take a long sip from it every time you feel your face start to twist into a “wtf” or laugh

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

a good #lifehack to deal with that is to have a water bottle handy and take a long sip from it every time you feel your face start to twist into a “wtf” or laugh

Tatsujin
Apr 26, 2004

:golgo:
EVERYONE EXCEPT THE HOT WOMEN
:golgo:

Cat Face Joe posted:

few things better than the "in a meeting" teams status but not actually being in a meeting

team just joins a standing call all day outside of meetings so we all show as 'in a call/meeting' outside of actual meetings, no one cares if you're not on voice/video, very nice

reduces drive by messages from people outside your team expecting you to respond right away

at my last job I had a powershell script that toggled scroll lock on and off every five minutes to keep teams from tattling on me by setting me to away

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


Tatsujin posted:

at my last job I had a powershell script that toggled scroll lock on and off every five minutes to keep teams from tattling on me by setting me to away
stealing this

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
if you have admin on your comp you can install autohotkey (useful for a ton of other business poo poo like too like hotkey to log in to the vpn every 5 minutes or whatever other mindless poo poo your job makes you do constantly) and then use this script to appear to work all day:
code:
#Persistent
Loop 
{
	If (A_Hour >= 7 && A_Hour < 17){
		MouseMove, 1, 1, 1, R
		MouseMove, -1, 1, 1, R
		}
		Sleep 300000	
}
Return
i initially set it up because my old job had an unalterable policy that it would lock after 60 seconds of inactivity, but it turns out just moving the mouse slightly is enough to keep teams from tattling too

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts
i use amphetamine on macos

Dans Macabre
Apr 24, 2004


I'm thankful I don't work somewhere where your Teams status has to stay green when you're not in a meeting. That seems hella abusive.

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

nvrgrls posted:

I'm thankful I don't work somewhere where your Teams status has to stay green when you're not in a meeting.

its not required i just dont want anyone to know when i'm takin a nap

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


graph posted:

its not required i just dont want anyone to know when i'm takin a nap
yea this

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe

graph posted:

i use amphetamine

But enough about my daily regimen, folks,

Plorkyeran
Mar 21, 2007

To Escape The Shackles Of The Old Forums, We Must Reject The Tribal Negativity He Endorsed
my slack status is "away" 95% of the day and it's just not a problem

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

always 👏 be 👏 away 👏 (and not working)

Cat Face Joe
Feb 20, 2005

goth vegan crossfit mom who vapes



Corla Plankun posted:

if you have admin on your comp you can install autohotkey (useful for a ton of other business poo poo like too like hotkey to log in to the vpn every 5 minutes or whatever other mindless poo poo your job makes you do constantly) and then use this script to appear to work all day:
code:
#Persistent
Loop 
{
	If (A_Hour >= 7 && A_Hour < 17){
		MouseMove, 1, 1, 1, R
		MouseMove, -1, 1, 1, R
		}
		Sleep 300000	
}
Return
i initially set it up because my old job had an unalterable policy that it would lock after 60 seconds of inactivity, but it turns out just moving the mouse slightly is enough to keep teams from tattling too

i just put my mouse on top of an old watch

DaTroof
Nov 16, 2000

CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

Cat Face Joe posted:

i just put my mouse on top of an old watch

i just kick back and rub the mouse pad with one hand while i rub something else with my other hand

knox_harrington
Feb 18, 2011

Running no point.

if you plug in a game controller it does the same thing.

my homie dhall
Dec 9, 2010

honey, oh please, it's just a machine
guy who is turning the meeting into his personal therapy session

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

my homie dhall posted:

guy who is turning the meeting into his personal therapy session

it’s me (when the boss is away)

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


guy browsing the web during a 1:1

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

distortion park posted:

guy browsing the web during a 1:1

sometimes i just get bored.

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

guy browsing the web during a 1:1 on a giant monitor in a dimly lit room so every tme the page changes it lights up his face in a different way, making it glaringly obvious what he is doing.

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

"oh for sure man" - aforesaid guy, to his boss, raptly

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


post hole digger posted:

guy browsing the web during a 1:1 on a giant monitor in a dimly lit room so every tme the page changes it lights up his face in a different way, making it glaringly obvious what he is doing.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


pretty sure i’ve popped on camera while watching wrestling during a meeting

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Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone

jesus WEP posted:

pretty sure i’ve popped on camera while watching wrestling during a meeting

i feel like this can't possibly mean what i think it does but i can't imagine any other interpretation that makes more sense

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