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ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew, hah? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

cowboy beepboop posted:

in-person guy dialed in from his desk even though he's at the office in the same floor and building who doesn't need to be in the meeting and just works through it and ignores whats happening

wait there we go

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DELETE CASCADE
Oct 25, 2017

i haven't washed my penis since i jerked it to a phtotograph of george w. bush in 2003
person whose mic is picking up a lot of background noise, and they should just go on mute, but they're by far the most powerful person in the meeting, which is being held primarily for their benefit, so no one has the guts to even mention it

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

i had an old boss like that who would call into meetings while driving w his window down and I would simply mute him constantly

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

dude who shares his screen with his own meeting video on it so you get a lovely version of the infinite television effect

go play outside Skyler
Nov 7, 2005


guy who told his boss he had to work from home because he had to take care of his toddler, but while sharing his screen a reminder for "hairdresser" popped up

guy who logs in with a clearly overheating laptop and starts every meeting by spamming everyone with a sound similar to that of a fighter jet taking off

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

Greg

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

if there isn't a greg in the meeting, you're the greg

Truman Peyote
Oct 11, 2006


guy who wants everyone to turn their cameras on so we can see your beautiful faces

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

go play outside Skyler posted:

guy who told his boss he had to work from home because he had to take care of his toddler, but while sharing his screen a reminder for "hairdresser" popped up

guy who has a lovely loving job/employer

Buck Turgidson
Feb 6, 2011

𓀬𓀠𓀟𓀡𓀢𓀣𓀤𓀥𓀞𓀬
Guy that used the word "circumcise" instead of "excise" when talking about removing part of a report in a department meeting.

Kempy
Dec 15, 2009

Buck Turgidson posted:

Guy that used the word "circumcise" instead of "excise" when talking about removing part of a report in a department meeting.

guy that uses "excise" instead of "delete"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



go play outside Skyler posted:

guy who told his boss he had to work from home because he had to take care of his toddler, but while sharing his screen a reminder for "hairdresser" popped up


what idiot doesn't block these as a blank private meeting :cmon:

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same
supervisor who asks question and continues responding to emails through the answer: i'm sorry can you repeat that

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

person who gets progressively more annoyed until they ask a very polite yet precise question that undermines the entire premise of the meeting

Raluek
Nov 3, 2006

WUT.

duTrieux. posted:

person who gets progressively more annoyed until they ask a very polite yet precise question that undermines the entire premise of the meeting

love this type of peep unless it’s my meeting, at which time they are the Enemy

Manzoon
Oct 12, 2005

ALPHASTRIKE!!!

duTrieux. posted:

person who gets progressively more annoyed until they ask a very polite yet precise question that undermines the entire premise of the meeting

"Why are we here? Who are you people?"

RationalTangle
Jan 6, 2012

Manzoon posted:

"Why are we here? Who are you people?"

“why are we here, just to suffer?!”

the collective groan at my bullshit is so loud even muted folks are audible

RationalTangle
Jan 6, 2012

person who just learned a new productivity buzzword and is trying to steer the direction of the meeting to talk about it

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

the COBGOBLIN got me! I bear the curse of bad sandwiches
Person who just learned a new corporate buzzword and is trying to fit it into every sentence, even though they don't really know what it means and it never makes any sense.

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

professor flatulence pants, they call me

dr_rat posted:

Person who just learned a new corporate buzzword and is trying to fit it into every sentence, even though they don't really know what it means and it never makes any sense.

Phobeste
Apr 9, 2006

never, like, count out Touchdown Tom, man
person whose relative positions of monitor and webcam makes them always look like they’re distracted even if they were paying attention (they’re not)

person whose relative positions of monitor and webcam makes them always look like they’re giving a Kubrick stare (they are)

go play outside Skyler
Nov 7, 2005


guy who is probably very insecure about his jawline and only ever shows the top 1/3 of his head (and has done so for the past 2 years)

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

go play outside Skyler posted:

guy who is probably very insecure about his jawline and only ever shows the top 1/3 of his head (and has done so for the past 2 years)

my homie dhall
Dec 9, 2010

honey, oh please, it's just a machine
peep waiting in the meeting room that’s not gonna remind the other attendees still at their desks that there’s supposed to be a meeting right now because the peep hates this meeting

well-read undead
Dec 13, 2022

peep that will never join until there are at least 3 other people there so they don't get trapped in awkward small talk by a coworker that doesn't understand how to wait in silence

bluemaxmb
Nov 25, 2024

Kempy posted:

guy that uses "excise" instead of "delete"

Guy that uses depreciate instead of deprecate.

duTrieux. posted:

person who gets progressively more annoyed until they ask a very polite yet precise question that undermines the entire premise of the meeting

In one of the first meetings of my current contracting role I asked what the purpose of a meeting was, and now every meeting I get invited too the engineering lead explains the purpose of the meeting the first time I attend. I'm totally fine with this.

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009

Peeps waiting for someone else to join the meeting that nobody wants to attend because being the first to join will cause the quantum superposition to collapse into a real meeting that everyone joins

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster


Kempy posted:

guy that uses "excise" instead of "delete"

bluemaxmb posted:

Guy that uses depreciate instead of deprecate.

guy that uses "utilize" instead of "use"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



guy who doesn't know how to end the call when nobody else involved has anything to say and has just sat there on mute or only engaged to say "I hate this" and now we're all stuck in a Mexican stand off


well-read undead posted:

peep that will never join until there are at least 3 other people there so they don't get trapped in awkward small talk by a coworker that doesn't understand how to wait in silence

hello it's me, the guy that will fill this space if I know the other people

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

guy in the meeting who has either a NZ or South African accent and it's killing me i can't tell which

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Lobok posted:

guy in the meeting who has either a NZ or South African accent and it's killing me i can't tell which

It's New Zealand

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

at least it wasn't a Boering answer

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster


Lobok posted:

guy in the meeting who has either a NZ or South African accent and it's killing me i can't tell which

are they complaining about "the blecks" or "the blicks"?

Trimson Grondag 3
Jul 1, 2007

Clapping Larry

Sweevo posted:

are they complaining about "the blecks" or "the blicks"?

or the "all blecks" or "all blicks'?

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Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Dark horse third option - they're from Adelaide

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