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Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP
I have deprecated "giving you five minutes of your time back" because it is indeed lovely as gently caress, instead i say "i''m done stealing your time five minutes early"

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Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016

rotor posted:

I was in a meeting and someone asked about the status of a project and a manager said - and this is a verbatim quote:

quote:
we liaised with relevant stakeholders and concluded that the project is not happenable given current constraints.


genuine lol

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
peep who is saying something but lost the thread at some point and is indiscriminately spewing whatever words happen to come to mind as they desperately try to get ahold of themselves

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

I was literally rendered speechless

psiox
Oct 15, 2001

Babylon 5 Street Team

Jonny 290 posted:

I have deprecated "giving you five minutes of your time back" because it is indeed lovely as gently caress, instead i say "i''m done stealing your time five minutes early"

this is great and i am stealing it ty

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

rotor posted:

i was absolutely in awe and immediately wrote it down. I have been unable to weaponize the phrase "happenable" but i remain optimistic for future efforts

didnt gar try to make happenable a thing years ago

eschaton
Mar 7, 2007

Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?
Im surprised that was happenable

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP

rotor posted:

i was absolutely in awe and immediately wrote it down. I have been unable to weaponize the phrase "happenable" but i remain optimistic for future efforts

<post-stroke regina george voice> stop trying to make happenable fetching

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

graph posted:

didnt gar try to make happenable a thing years ago

after being informed of the situation, Gar and I became aligned on vision and agreed to actively pursue complimentary goals.

AtomD
May 3, 2009

Fun Shoe
uh yeah we need to do a checking on the happenability of that

AtomD
May 3, 2009

Fun Shoe
real surish that was markated as unhappenable after we hittered the timeboxadoodle

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

rotor posted:

after being informed of the situation, Gar and I became aligned on vision and agreed to actively pursue complimentary goals.

:shepface:

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'
anyone who uses more business-speak than me is a mindless corporate drone and anyone who uses less just isnt operating in a professional manner

AnimeIsTrash
Jun 30, 2018

Ouch!
guy who runs the startup and tells people theyre running long when they go over a minute

:twisted:

nudgenudgetilt
Mar 18, 2003

it scratches that "oddly satisfying" itch
subtle founder shade thrown there?

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

AnimeIsTrash posted:

guy who runs the startup and tells people theyre running long when they go over a minute

:twisted:

this is a good kind of peep unti he tells ME i'm running long and then he's a fascist rear end in a top hat

MrQueasy
Nov 15, 2005

Probiot-ICK
Let's make sure we're not robbing Peter to pay Paul here! Lets run this up the flagpole until the director is no longer out of pocket. It's important to see if this project any immediate synergies that will enable a network-effect.

TheFluff
Dec 13, 2006

FRIENDS, LISTEN TO ME
I AM A SEAGULL
OF WEALTH AND TASTE
guy with a wide angle camera and a huge greenscreen setup covering the entire wall behind him

Kempy
Dec 15, 2009

i know it wasn't in the requirements but the goalposts have moved, if it can't be covered in the project it needs to be prioritised through CI

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

🧿
people who never join the breakout room in zoom, possibly because they arent good with computer

person who waits until the comments / questions / concerns segment at the end to do a racism for some reason???

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

🧿
person who I need to mute or else theyll hose up the chat with progressively louder feedback loops

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

🧿
person who insists I turn up the volume when it is they who need to turn up the volume

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

🧿
anime titty computer background guy

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

OldAlias posted:

person who insists I turn up the volume when it is they who need to turn up the volume
yo all you home boys out in bronx this ones for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9gOQgfPW4Y

Sweevo
Nov 8, 2007

i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

person who has to have zoom explained from scratch every single time

Sapozhnik
Jan 2, 2005

Nap Ghost

OldAlias posted:

anime titty computer background guy

konnichiwa

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

person who organized the meeting that has to leave early, says theyll leave the room up for everyone to continue in, and then mashes the end meeting for all button, every single time

AtomD
May 3, 2009

Fun Shoe
just remembered this again http://conferencecall.biz

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

AtomD posted:

just remembered this again http://conferencecall.biz

poo poo lol thanks i had also forgotten about this

AnimeIsTrash
Jun 30, 2018

Ouch!
guy who limits standups to 3 minutes because hes scrummaster now

akadajet
Sep 14, 2003

AnimeIsTrash posted:

guy who limits standups to 3 minutes because hes scrummaster now



oh boy the few times I've had to fill in running standup everyone always tells me "oh wow, that was fast and painless". The secret is to tell people to "table it" the instant they go off topic.

tk
Dec 10, 2003

Nap Ghost

akadajet posted:

oh boy the few times I've had to fill in running standup everyone always tells me "oh wow, that was fast and painless". The secret is to tell people to "table it" the instant they go off topic.

Yeah but you have to pay attention to be able to do this. I prefer to just wait until there is silence, then awkwardly move on to the next person hoping I didnt just miss something.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
the thing is that 90% of scrums are actually status meetings and its ok to acknowledge that.

ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

akadajet posted:

oh boy the few times I've had to fill in running standup everyone always tells me "oh wow, that was fast and painless". The secret is to tell people to "table it" the instant they go off topic.

Way back when we were in office and I was scrum master people could chat about something as long as it took me to write it on a post it note for parking lot, it was a nice visual cue to wrap it up that worked well

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
I have found the rush to table anything that isn't "FEATURE A, NO BLOCKERS! NEXT!" can be taken too far. Sometimes people take a minute or two to get around to mentioning things that affect more people. There's a nice midrange where people have more than a minute - I was at one place that literally handed off a little 1 minute hourglass egg timer thing and if you ran out of time you had to stop talking and give it to the next guy - and just letting some guy drone on endlessly about his adventures with xml validation.

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

why would anyone want people to be concise in meetings instead of just let them ramble forever so you can just zone out and work less?

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

Asymmetric POSTer posted:

why would anyone want people to be concise in meetings instead of just let them ramble forever so you can just zone out and work less?

Because them im listening to people ramble forever and i cant think of anything more infuriating

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

Armitag3 posted:

Because them im listening to people ramble forever and i cant think of anything more infuriating

this happened to one i had yesterday, it reached the 'holy gently caress please just shut up' stage so i left

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

I work with a pretty cool guy, but bless his heart he rambles on for far too long, I guess because he doesn't know how to end his turn - so he deflates more and more before perking up with a recap of what he said before which usually feedback loops into more rambling and if you don't cut him off at some polite point, it'll never stop.

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Plorkyeran
Mar 22, 2007

To Escape The Shackles Of The Old Forums, We Must Reject The Tribal Negativity He Endorsed
i would much rather be working than listening to people rambling forever

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