2023 Hamas/Israeli War Thread: Pier today, gone tomorrow.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2023 Hamas/Israeli War Thread: Pier today, gone tomorrow.

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

The Times of Israel has had multiple stories in the last weeks exposing the lurid outline of Hamas's brutal plans of total conquest, uncovered as the IDF proceeds further into Gaza. All of it is, of course, obviously silly and non-serious. "IDF uncovers Hamas plot to seize Knesset!!"; "How Hamas planned to push through to the West Bank and start a wider war—what YOU need to know!!!"; "Video recording exposes Hamas leader's plan to escape to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by ~~capitalism~~ Zionism, space!". Even if these turn out to be real documents, they're obviously bluster and/or thought exercises by bored extremists without much else to do.

And this is one of the centrist/liberal papers.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 03:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Oct 4, 2024 01:13

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

I don�t think that a �Hamas base� can fit inside of a child�s bedroom. Not even in DJT�s Manhattan penthouse. It violates Euclidean geometry.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 03:14

Guest2553: Aug 3, 2012

Platystemon posted:

I don’t think that a “Hamas base” can fit inside of a child’s bedroom. Not even in DJT’s Manhattan penthouse. It violates Euclidean geometry.

Breaking: Hamas in league with Great Old Ones to bring about the End of All

# ? Nov 14, 2023 04:17

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

The IDF assaulted NPR journalists in the West Bank and kidnapped the farmer they were interviewing.

quote:

It's morning as our NPR team is traveling from Tel Aviv to the West Bank to see a small town called Deir Istiya, and to meet a 54-year-old farmer named Ayoub Abuhejleh. Like many Palestinians in the West Bank, he tells us he hasn't been able to access his land and harvest his olives.

He explains that soldiers with the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) and West Bank settlers have blocked him from his land since the war started on Oct. 7, when Hamas fighters attacked Israel.

Our team pulls on helmets and flak jackets marked "PRESS" in big white letters before we begin to walk with Abuhejleh to the spot that he says looks onto his fields. We hear a buzzing sound, and when we look up, we spot a drone hovering about 60 feet above us. A camera flashes green and red � it's clear someone's watching. We're just not sure if it's Israeli military personnel or settlers.

As we walk another 100 or so yards, people in uniform emerge from behind a rocky hillside. More arrive in an SUV.

We stop and announce ourselves: "Media. Press." They're clearly unhappy with us. Some have their faces covered with balaclavas. Soon about a dozen people in uniform are gathering around us � all of them carrying large assault-style guns.

"OK. So get out of here. Take your legs and go all the way back," one soldier says in Hebrew, pointing to the direction from which we came. They tell us we've crossed a barrier, but we point out there is no rope, no signs, nothing to indicate that. They insist the area is restricted, and it's a time of war.

Our local producer Sawsan Khalife, along with Rabbi Dana and Brodsky try to talk to them in Hebrew. Crosstalk evolves into yelling. Abuhejleh is separated from the group, about 20 feet away, accompanied by multiple soldiers. They tell us they need to question him, and it will only take a few minutes.

We say we don't want to leave without him. "Can one of our Israeli friends stay here?" we ask. The soldiers refuse, and a gun is raised. It points straight at us � and we begin to back away. "Move on," we're told.

Soldiers walk Abuhejleh out of sight around a hill, and as we make our way back to where the road was dug up, Rabbi Dana tells us she's worried.

"We've never seen anything like this before," she says. "This is not according to any protocol that we're familiar with or are experienced with."

Abuhejleh was released uninjured later that day, but the obvious effort to strangle Palestinian livelihood is awful enough on its own. gently caress Israel.

https://www.npr.org/2023/11/13/1211987812/israel-hamas-west-bank-gaza-war-conflict-idf

# ? Nov 14, 2023 04:32

ThisIsJohnWayne: Feb 23, 2007; Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!

2cent bet those 'big assault-style' items were m4 supplied by uncle Sam gratis. What a time to be alive* if american yournalists are staring down american made, american paid, american provided guns being aimed at them.

*put some good words here yourself. I'm to sad.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 07:15

Grip it and rip it: Apr 28, 2020

Seems like an obvious consequence of the "journalist participation" misinfo that was pasted all over twitter.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 16:29

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

https://twitter.com/AndrewSolender/status/1724264696914616681?t=pc1KZiYLF-MTdRYacmSksw&s=19

Just Congressional Dem leadership cozying up to the most insane and bloodthirsty people on the planet.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 18:30

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

Uhh...
https://twitter.com/Israel/status/1724392576516600204?s=20

quote:

Shaylee Atary's husband Yahav was murdered by Hamas terrorists.

She did everything in her power to retrieve his sperm so that their dream of having more children would live on even without Yahav.

Unfortunately she was unsuccessful.

There are still so many families that we can save.

Every minute counts.

BRING BACK OUR CHILDREN NOW.

Whoever is running this account is making some interesting choices in content to put out.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 22:02

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

quote:

We must secure the existence of our people and a future for ~~white~~ Israeli children

# ? Nov 14, 2023 22:15

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Cugel the Clever posted:

Uhh...
https://twitter.com/Israel/status/1724392576516600204?s=20

Whoever is running this account is making some interesting choices in content to put out.

you won't BELIEVE the lengths this woman went to to get some cum!

# ? Nov 14, 2023 22:18

ThisIsJohnWayne: Feb 23, 2007; Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Adopted kids are your kids. You do not need to be weird about genetics to be a parent. Complete sidenote, but still

# ? Nov 14, 2023 22:58

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

ThisIsJohnWayne posted:

Adopted kids are your kids. You do not need to be weird about genetics to be a parent. Complete sidenote, but still

They aren't from sacred untainted seed or whatever the gently caress these cum chasers want.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 23:16

ranbo das: Oct 16, 2013

ThisIsJohnWayne posted:

2cent bet those 'big assault-style' items were m4 supplied by uncle Sam gratis. What a time to be alive* if american yournalists are staring down american made, american paid, american provided guns being aimed at them.

*put some good words here yourself. I'm to sad.

I mean it wasn't too long ago American soldiers shot American college students to death with American guns, just guns being pointed seems pretty tame on the scale of American atrocities.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:16

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

ranbo das posted:

I mean it wasn't too long ago American soldiers shot American college students to death with American guns, just guns being pointed seems pretty tame on the scale of American atrocities.

If you're referring to Kent State, I have concerns about your definition of "not too long ago" :thunk:

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:19

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Wasabi the J posted:

quote:
We must secure the existence of our people and a future for ~~white~~ Israeli children

You do know that most Israelis are of middle eastern descent, right?

Trying to frame an ethno-religious conflict on the other side of the world from an American context in the name of anti-Imperialism is like peak irony.

e: Let me preempt a bunch of posts here by explicitly saying that I'm taking issue with the extremely reductionist and American-centric assertion that all Israelis are white. I'm not responding to the semen thing, which I agree is a very weird thing for an official government account to be posting.

psydude fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Nov 15, 2023

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:24

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

psydude posted:

You do know that most Israelis are of middle eastern descent, right?

Trying to frame an ethno-religious conflict on the other side of the world from an American context in the name of anti-Imperialism is like peak irony.

e: Let me preempt a bunch of posts here by explicitly saying that I'm taking issue with the extremely reductionist and American-centric assertion that all Israelis are white. I'm not responding to the semen thing, which I agree is a very weird thing for an official government account to be posting.

Let me be clear, then, that this critique isn't of my post then, just some poo poo you needed to take out of context to "um actually" me some ethnicity lesson that was unnecessary.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:01

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Wasabi the J posted:

Let me be clear, then, that this critique isn't of my post then, just some poo poo you needed to take out of context to "um actually" me some ethnicity lesson that was unnecessary.

No it's very much a critique of your post.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:02

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

psydude posted:

You do know that most Israelis are of middle eastern descent, right?

Trying to frame an ethno-religious conflict on the other side of the world from an American context in the name of anti-Imperialism is like peak irony.

e: Let me preempt a bunch of posts here by explicitly saying that I'm taking issue with the extremely reductionist and American-centric assertion that all Israelis are white. I'm not responding to the semen thing, which I agree is a very weird thing for an official government account to be posting.

Can't speak for that poster, but my take is that it's less an attempt to cast Israelis as "white" than it is to point out that any ethno-supremacist thinking is wrong, regardless of the group elevated.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:14

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

I'm going to clarify then. It's gross ethno-religious and ethni-nationalist propaganda, and has the same undertones of colonialist settler victim narratives that fuel nationalist propaganda.

Didn't you watch starship troopers?

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:18

Discussion Quorum: Dec 5, 2002; Armchair Philistine

It's not just one person but official policy, I guess?

https://twitter.com/The_Law_Boy/status/1724518980352614696?s=19

On an unrelated note, when someone matter-of-factly shares something like that with you, without any preface, disclaimer, or hint of irony, it's a pretty good sign that they think it's completely normal!

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:58

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

Discussion Quorum posted:

It's not just one person but official policy, I guess?

https://twitter.com/The_Law_Boy/status/1724518980352614696?s=19

On an unrelated note, when someone matter-of-factly shares something like that with you, without any preface, disclaimer, or hint of irony, it's a pretty good sign that they think it's completely normal!

My best friend is Jewish and scammed his way on a Birthright trip like 15 years ago (he just wanted a free trip overseas and used it as a springboard to explore other places) and he said that even then the organizers were hugely pushing participants to find a nice Jewish boy/girl on their trip (or develop a crush on their IDF security detail), make Aliyah to Israel, and then have lots of Jewish babies. There's a sizable contingent of the Israeli population that sees demographics as triumph over the damage done to the Jewish people during the Holocaust and centuries of other pogroms, so I can at least understand the whole sperm retrieval thing even if it's pretty loving wacky otherwise.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 02:29

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Today I learned about Israeli Quiverfull.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 02:36

ThisIsJohnWayne: Feb 23, 2007; Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Judaism is a religon, the entire point of the War was that genetics doesn't matter for humans

# ? Nov 15, 2023 02:37

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ThisIsJohnWayne posted:

Judaism is a religon, the entire point of the War was that genetics doesn't matter for humans

It's also an ethnicity.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 02:41

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Discussion Quorum posted:

It's not just one person but official policy, I guess?

https://twitter.com/The_Law_Boy/status/1724518980352614696?s=19

Wouldn�t it make more sense to offer sperm banking to those entering IDF?

It�s ethically and logistically simpler.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:27

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Platystemon posted:

Wouldn�t it make more sense to offer sperm banking to those entering IDF?

It�s ethically and logistically simpler.

But then you don�t get the cum QRF.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:32

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

FrozenVent posted:

But then you don�t get the cum QRF.

The Cum QRF: for the absolute last time that you hear �don�t worry, it happens to a lot of guys�

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:36

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

Do they at least have an, I don't know, ovary retrieval unit to not be weirdly sex-specific?

Regardless, the whole thing leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:39

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

FrozenVent posted:

But then you don�t get the cum QRF.

can't believe this is a thing

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:49

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

The Iron Grip Battalion.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:57

Voyager I: Jun 29, 2012; This is how your posting feels.
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

As an American secular Jew with no connection to Isreal, this pretty :stare:

, but considering it took 20 years for America to start getting over 9/11 I guess I can't judge them too harshly for still being weird about demographics.

Lots and lots of other things to judge them harshly for, mind you.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 03:59

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

Never, not once in a dozen lifetimes over a thousand years, would I have guessed :cumpolice:

would be relevant for a contemporary Middle East issues thread.

What is happening on this planet.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 04:20

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

IDF is just LARPing Warhammer 40k, where the space marine medics retrieve the gene-seed of fallen space marines after the battle.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 04:22

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

I can�t get over the Jizz SWAT team, sorry.

Like, you�re in a war for your survival, but that is what you�re worried about?

# ? Nov 15, 2023 04:23

M_Gargantua: Oct 16, 2006; STOMP'N ON INTO THE POWERLINES; Exciting Lemon

Voyager I posted:

As an American secular Jew with no connection to Isreal, this pretty , but considering it took 20 years for America to start getting over 9/11 I guess I can't judge them too harshly for still being weird about demographics.

Lots and lots of other things to judge them harshly for, mind you.

issuing correction on a previous post of Voyager I, regarding the terror group ~~ISIL~~ IDF. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

# ? Nov 15, 2023 04:24

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

jacking off dead dicks for god

# ? Nov 15, 2023 04:26

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

Stolen from the DnD thread because it was too good not to share: