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Sorry if this is kind of E/N I've been at my job for a couple of years. It's nothing to brag about, but I've always enjoyed it and have had no intention of going anywhere until this last week. I believe I do a good job. I am very knowledgeable and work hard. I've already been through 2 bosses since I started, and never had a single issue with either one. It's a largely autonomous job and I've always been able to make my own decisions and prioritize what I see fit. I've never had a single complaint to my knowledge. Then last week I got a new boss. She's an outside hire barely has any idea what she is doing, but you wouldn't know it by the way she acts. My first interaction with her (after my old boss set her free) was like, bad. I just made a decision I'd normally make on any given day. I even ran it by her, she agreed and then I went and did it I got scolded because "I am the final say in this. You should not have done that on your own" I was just baffled, because I did run it by her, even though frankly I wouldn't have even had to last week or with my old boss. This is within the first 10 minutes of her first day. I was hoping she was just flustered because it was her first day so I let it slide, but it hasn't gotten better. Everything I do I need to justify to her or ask if it's ok, even if it's just total common sense. She just changes things she doesn't even fully understand (or makes me change things without asking for my input is more like it) and talks to me like a child. I also feel like it's sort of a self fulfilling prophecy, because despite working harder than I ever have. I feel like I'm loving up more because I have all of the new found stress, I'm questioning my own decisions, and my whole work flow is hosed up because I'm trying to prioritize the things she has deemed important and doing things all out of whack. The thing is, I don't want to lose or leave my job that I've enjoyed for years over some micromanager that barely has a week under her belt. But I can't work in this environment either. I feel like I'm probably going to have to talk to her about it. But I don't even know how to approach the situation. I've had bosses like her before, but they were at entry level jobs I hated and I just quit. I really hope I can find some way to tactfully deal with it, but maybe I'm being too optimistic and it's just time to start job hunting. Anybody out there actually successfully dealt with something like this? I really don't know what to do. I haven't been so stressed out in years.
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Aug 1, 2018 04:07
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I'd start looking for a new job sooner rather than later. If worse comes to worse, you can move on into a new position. In the meantime, have a conversation with your new boss. Frame it something like "This last week has been tough and stressful because I'm having some trouble adjusting to your way of doing things. In particular, I've noticed that you ask me to check in with you to make routine decisions or justify routine tasks. I want to succeed at my job, so I wondered if you can give me some guidance on how I should operate so that I don't have to check in with you so often." This should provide some insight into what she wants from you/why she's micromanaging you/whether or not this is likely to continue. With regard to her talking down to you, it's probably best to have a different conversation with her about that and point out the specific things she said, the way you interpreted it, and how it impacted your work. Then ask for the specific change you're hoping for in how she communicates. If those things fail, you could bring it up to her superior, again with the specific things she's done and the ways they've impacted your work and the department and what specific changes you'd like to see.
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Aug 1, 2018 06:53
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It really depends on your personality and I am not sure if you would be comfortable doing this, but standing up and taking a dominate position can really work well with these type of people. You don't argue, you just refuse to do anything you don't agree with and do what you think is best. Never emotional. Amazing how many people will blink first.
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Aug 1, 2018 13:36
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How big is your company and how well do you know your boss's superiors / upper management overall?
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Aug 1, 2018 14:12
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Depending on how important you are to the organization/company structure you may run into a wall with trying to deal with it. I would advise brushing up the resume and accepting that sometimes the best move is to move on. That said, there's good advice in trying to have a conversation, just remember that if your bosses' boss takes their side you're going to have a hell of a time staying.
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Aug 1, 2018 16:01
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I'm curious why you went to her asking about a routine task when you wouldn't have done this with a previous boss. Also, email is your friend. It leaves a nice little trail for when people go back on what they said.
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Aug 1, 2018 19:23
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spog posted:It really depends on your personality and I am not sure if you would be comfortable doing this, but standing up and taking a dominate position can really work well with these type of people. I would say this depends on the structure of the company, i.e. whether or not your direct supervisor has the authority to simply fire you without approval from anyone above or having to go through an official multi-step process like a PIP or final warning. If it's a legit company that requires documentation to fire someone, yea a lot of the time an idiot boss will blink first because deep down they know you're right and if they were to go to management their own incompetence would be exposed. But if they can just snap their fingers and be rid of you, well they'll probably go that route pretty quickly and then your out of a job.
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Aug 1, 2018 19:28
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Thanks for the thoughts guys. Well, today has been insane. I got about of hour sleep last night I had so much anxiety. Went to work this morning to find a very angry email addressed to me from my bosses superior about something my boss had done. From reading it it was very clear that she had originally received it aimed at her, freaked out and tried to pin it on me, because I was in the room I guess. Or she" didn't really remember how it happened" according to her. I was livid and for the first time she kind of crumpled and went into freak out mode and was like "don't worry nothing to worry about I'll fix this stop worrying!" Honeymoon period was shortly over after that though. I figured this was a good time to ask her what her deal was in the most polite way possible. I was treated to a slew assumptions she had about me, basically berated me in corporate speak for 20 minutes about how unorganized and lazy she thought I was. She doesn't even know me. 80% of her assumptions were dead wrong and the other 20% were probably at least sort of true, but are things I'd love to work on with a reasonable person. Just not someone who is attacking me 24/7. She then proceeded to say that she wanted to basically get rid of all autonomy. I'm supposed to be in a management position, but it sounds like she wants my job to turn into her personal assistant/bitch. At this point I'd rather blow my head off than work under this woman. I'm not even stressed anymore. I'm done with kissing her rear end. I'm just gonna go to HR and express my concerns, especially in the fact that she basically tried to make me take the fall for her own mistake. But also, just how wildly inappropriate her leadership skills have been over this incredibly brief period. I don't even care about my job anymore. I'll miss it, but not with her there and there are plenty of open positions in the company that are miles away from her, that I can probably pretty easily pick up. I'd even take a pay cut to not have to deal with this. I might just go for some easy, stress free position for a bit and focus on my own poo poo. My lifestyle is pretty cheap anyways. ItBreathes posted:How big is your company and how well do you know your boss's superiors / upper management overall? Medium sized company. Yes I know her superiors fairly well and afaik they like me. I've never had any issues with them. Or anyone else in the company for that matter. Basebf555 posted:I would say this depends on the structure of the company, i.e. whether or not your direct supervisor has the authority to simply fire you without approval from anyone above or having to go through an official multi-step process like a PIP or final warning. If it's a legit company that requires documentation to fire someone, yea a lot of the time an idiot boss will blink first because deep down they know you're right and if they were to go to management their own incompetence would be exposed. But if they can just snap their fingers and be rid of you, well they'll probably go that route pretty quickly and then your out of a job. it's the latter. There's a pretty drawn out process for firing people. Dr Cox MD posted:I'm curious why you went to her asking about a routine task when you wouldn't have done this with a previous boss. TLDR I dealt with a staff issue. With my old boss I would have dealt with it myself and then mentioned it to her shortly after so she was in the loop. Done and done. Just to be on the safe side I checked with new boss before approving it, and she was mad that I didn't just send the staff straight to her, because it "wasn't my place" then she agreed with what I did and I informed the staff it was ok. She asked me about it shortly after and was mad I didn't run it by her again for some inexplicable reason and said "I AM THE LAST SAY. THAT'S MY CALL" like she's Judge Dredd or something. it really threw me for a loop, because this was 10 minutes into her first day on the job. Just baffling. I'm pretty sure that was the moment she decided she hated me and has just been piling up reasons by the minute since. It seems like it also makes her really mad that staff come to me about everything instead of her. Because they don't know her, they have been coming to me with issues for years and I know them all very well. I've been instructed to send anyone who comes to me with even the smallest question to her in the future instead of answering it, even if it falls right into my now, constantly changing job description. Which is funny because she doesn't even know half of their names yet. Whew. Long post. Thanks for listening to me bitch y'all. One of the worst weeks of my life. I needed a cathartic wall of text. veni veni veni fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Aug 2, 2018 |
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Aug 2, 2018 03:03
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Oof. My wife had almost this exact same situation happen to her a few years back... she opted to find another job. Last year she got back in with the company in a higher ranking position in a different department, so it worked out in the end. Absolutely sucked at the time though.
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Aug 2, 2018 04:45
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Thanks. Yeah it's brutal. It hurts. I love my job and I don't want to say goodbye, so some short timer can have her ego trip, but it's not gonna be worth it I think. I have so many friends there. We work with people with disabilities and I've become very close to all of them as well as the staff I formerly managed (well I'm still technically a manager, I just don't get to manage anymore). I'm going to try and stay in the company if I can. I don't think it will be hard. Maybe I can come back when she inevitably flames out like she did at her last job because it was too hard (going off rumors here haha) , even though it was like 1/4 scale of this operation. Her biggest asset was that she was "the most affordable". No one applied internally cause the job sucks rear end lol. I actually said she seemed like the best candidate during the interview process too. whoops. I want to fly across the country and kidnap my old boss and bring her back. or even the one before that.
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Aug 2, 2018 05:24
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If you do decide to try and weather the storm, try to conduct as much of your meaningful correspondence with her over email as possible from this point forward. Make sure to include details, even if they seem redundant. Adding stuff like "Just so I understand....." and typing up a brief summary when something goes awry will not only act as an account of the event, but in keeping it conversational it's also likely to elicit a response which will serve as a documented acknowledgement of your side of the story. What you want here is basically a paper trail that you can point to if something comes down to your word against hers. If she tries to pin something on you? Forward it to her boss. Just don't try to sneak around her - if she's trying to assert her authority it's going to get even worse if she thinks you're trying to subvert her. If you need to loop them in on something that would normally be a 1 on 1 correspondence, CC them but keep the correspondence specifically pointed in her direction - she may soften her approach just knowing that the upper management has their eyes on the convo. Ultimately if her management style is a poor fit the evidence of that is bound to stack up and make its way to upper management. Really all this does is streamline that process.
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Aug 2, 2018 18:26
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She’s in her first 90 days, document her bullshit condescending talk she had with you I.E. listing out the faults of a person she’s worked with for a grand total of like three days, and run it up the chain. Don’t be a wallflower.
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Aug 2, 2018 22:14
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I assume you're note the only direct report your boss has. Are any of your peers dealing with the same actions? I'd ask/have an offsite skip level with your Sr. Mgr and talk it out (calmly for the love of god) with them. Include the details, be frank but professional, and let them know your concerns. Especially if your company is in the habit of encouraging them/open door/office policy, or if you're on as good terms with them as you say. If it does come to you leaving before you make it to HR/skip levels with her boss, make sure you explain why and provide any additional documentation in your exit interview. Most good medium to large companies understand that people don't leave jobs, they leave managers.
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Aug 2, 2018 22:29
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What I hate about these loving threads.. WHAT DO YOU DO? WHO THE gently caress ARE YOU? No no let me go into detail about my opinions and how people are and blah blah loving blah, WHO ARE YOU? Are you some loving kid working helpdesk? Are you some shithead Gen Y than never went to school and is now realising how being the world's bitch on the bottom of the education pile was actually a bad loving move and perhaps you should have finished your education before 'following your dreams' or whatever bullshit you do? Ok. OP. Answer these questions in this order 1) What do you do 2) What level of education do you have 3) How old are you I'm BETTING that you're some useless kid working a nothing job making GBS threads your pants about NOTHING. The reason some useless oval office has waltzed in above you is because you're ANOTHER USELESS oval office. The loving entitlement from people these days.. unless you're going to tell me you did a 4 year degree and do something more than tell people to turn on and off their computers then shut the gently caress up, learn to deal with other people in the world (many of which might not adhere to your ideals of what the gently caress ever) and understand you're probably the BOTTOM OF THE PILE and WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS IN THE MODERN WORLD. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 7, 2018 01:23
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spog posted:It really depends on your personality and I am not sure if you would be comfortable doing this, but standing up and taking a dominate position can really work well with these type of people. I would never had agreed with this until I saw it done (and cringed) and see it work (and be amazed).
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Aug 7, 2018 01:36
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I dunno what happened but she just randomly started acting cool the day after I confronted her, which kind of made me less inclined to go to HR about it. I’m still pretty wary after all that poo poo, but maybe she did some self reflection after getting called out because I haven’t had any issues with her in the last 3 days. My original plan is still on if it starts to happen again but for now my stress level has decreased about 1000% we’ll see if it lasts. Saw too many red flags that first week to just shrug it off as an isolated thing.Tony Montana posted:What I hate about these loving threads.. WHAT DO YOU DO? Uh, as much as I'm dying to justify every aspect of myself to a guy that sounds like he's about 2 seconds away from shooting up a kindergarten I think I'll pass. veni veni veni fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Aug 7, 2018 |
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Aug 7, 2018 02:28
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veni veni veni posted:I dunno what happened but she just randomly started acting cool the day after I confronted her, which kind of made me less inclined to go to HR about it. I’m still pretty wary after all that poo poo, but maybe she did some self reflection after getting called out because I haven’t had any issues with her in the last 3 days. My original plan is still on if it starts to happen again but for now my stress level has decreased about 1000% we’ll see if it lasts. Saw too many red flags that first week to just shrug it off as an isolated thing. It could just have been her default approach to an unfamiliar team dynamic; jump in the deep end, assert authority, hammer out the specifics later. Not surprising for an outside hire whose main experience is probably being brought in to whip failing teams into shape, but that obviously wasn't the situation here. Still, if she's willing to adjust to suit your company's culture then it's worth giving her a chance.
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Aug 7, 2018 07:06
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Tony Montana posted:ANGRY MEAN BULLSHIT veni veni veni's boss spotted. Seriously though, wtf is your problem, exactly? You typed all that out to basically call the OP a "useless kid" and a "oval office"? Doesn't matter if veni is working at a Wendy's or a Fortune 500, you rear end in a top hat
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Aug 7, 2018 14:51
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Tony Montana posted:What I hate about these loving threads.. WHAT DO YOU DO? Why do old people love putting whole words in uppercase? Is it down to some quirk of antique typewriters, similar to how the elderly often double space after full stops because they didn't have automatic kerning? Or is it a symptom of cognitive decline, as with the overuse of ellipses?
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Aug 7, 2018 15:20
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And the oval office did enter the thread, and spew poo poo over the poor OP for some reason or other. And the people of thread saw it was bad, and told the oval office to be gone from this thread, that he shalt not ruin it with his nonsense.
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Aug 7, 2018 15:23
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Tony Montana posted:I'm BETTING that you're some useless kid working a nothing job making GBS threads your pants about NOTHING. The reason some useless oval office has waltzed in above you is because you're ANOTHER USELESS oval office. The loving entitlement from people these days.. unless you're going to tell me you did a 4 year degree and do something more than tell people to turn on and off their computers then shut the gently caress up, learn to deal with other people in the world (many of which might not adhere to your ideals of what the gently caress ever) and understand you're probably the BOTTOM OF THE PILE and WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS IN THE MODERN WORLD. What you lookin' at?...You all a bunch of fuckin' ASSHOLES. You know why? You don't have the GUTS to be what you wanna be. You need people like ME. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the BAD guy." So...what that make you? Good? You're not good..You just know how to hide, how to lie.. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie... So say good night to the BAD guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a BAD guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get OUTTA his way! Also, questions would end in questions marks, so you didn't post any questions.
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Aug 7, 2018 20:49
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Tony Montana is the most dedicated Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross cosplayer ever, pay him no heed
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Aug 7, 2018 20:57
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shame on an IGA posted:Tony Montana is the most dedicated Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross cosplayer ever, pay him no heed you can just say Glengarry Glen Ross, people will know what you're talking about it's not like anyone remembers anything else from it
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Aug 8, 2018 00:21
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20 bucks says the OP works a menial job and this a teenage pity party for his bullshit
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Aug 8, 2018 00:55
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You're really trying too hard and, as usual, it shows.
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Aug 8, 2018 00:58
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You could probably figure out what I do if you read my posts Tony Montana. I'm sure it wouldn't meet your ultra high standards for warranting basic human decency though. You seem like a real piece of poo poo and you should get your head checked because everything you have said is not something a normal human would say.
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Aug 8, 2018 01:11
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I guess if you want to put a positive spin on this, I like my boss a whole lot more than this Tony Montana guy.
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Aug 8, 2018 01:16
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I know what your problem is. Your a dumb kid that thinks he's worth a hell of a lot more than he is. Why aren't you the boss? Why did they have to bring in this useless hoe to oversee you? Perhaps because you're a loving child who can't do what she can. When you parse this and integrate it into your mush of a brain, you will do better in this world.
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Aug 8, 2018 01:47
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Tony Montana posted:I know what your problem is. Your a dumb kid that thinks he's worth a hell of a lot more than he is. Why aren't you the boss? Why did they have to bring in this useless hoe to oversee you? Perhaps because you're a loving child who can't do what she can. OK. Now it's a gimmick But you still suck
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Aug 8, 2018 02:56
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you seem neat.
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Aug 8, 2018 02:59
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Tony Montana posted:I know what your problem is. Your a dumb kid that thinks he's worth a hell of a lot more than he is. Why aren't you the boss? Why did they have to bring in this useless hoe to oversee you? Perhaps because you're a loving child who can't do what she can. look, prince charming, I would wager heaven and earth that my job is more important than yours, but that doesn't mean you cannot have a legitimate issue with your workplace. Allow others the same courtesy.
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Aug 8, 2018 17:23
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I've seen Tony Montana do this in other threads, just being a dick for the fun of it. Ignore.
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Aug 8, 2018 20:15
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Basebf555 posted:I've seen Tony Montana do this in other threads, just being a dick for the fun of it. Ignore. I love this. its so left wing. Are you being meta? Is this satire? omg omg, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! YES. I AM NOT LIKE YOU. I AM QUITE PROUD OF NOT BEING LIKE YOU. The Dipshit posted:look, prince charming, I would wager heaven and earth that my job is more important than yours, but that doesn't mean you cannot have a legitimate issue with your workplace. Allow others the same courtesy. I can see the bullshit in the OP's writing. There are large red flags. Firstly he doesn't say what he does, so that's always an indicator of someone that thinks they're a hell of a lot more than they are. Anyone that won't tell you openly, to your face what they do and instead skirt around it and talk a lot of poo poo like 'oh im so autonomous at work', yeah so is a fry cook at McDonalds. he is master of the fries, don't you worry about that. So we've got a little princess who is sure he's hot poo poo at his job but can't tell us what it is or what education he did to get it or his experience or loving anything actually real. It's all just pity party feelings, hey guys can you tell me that I'm good and worthy and right? No, I don't know you. Like at all. Who are you? If a manager can destabilize you in your organisation to the extent you want to leave, after a week.. you weren't that hot poo poo in the first place, were you? You sound actually pretty insecure and goony. I think the problem is the OP is another child who thinks he's a real person and doesn't understand why the world doesn't think this as well. You can dispel all of this by just stating, what do you do, how did you get there. If you tell me actually you're a lab technician and you prepare slides for analysis and you've got a science degree and this new bitch seems to be from overseas and not understand or adhere to our methods.. well, that's legit. You can challenge her professionally. Not directly, but you can raise concerns with her work and just steadily work on documenting her lack of professionalism. Keep this up and you're in a prime position to either take her job or get rid of her. But gently caress if you work retail or make coffee or fix computers, just shut up and get on with it and go back to school if you really are better.. but I bet you're not. edit: read the OP's bullshit again to be sure. lol so you're challenging her directly, to the point she has to assert authority over by telling you she is the last word. Then you come here to cry about how the nasty woman put you in your place. Gen Y trash, say it isn't so Tony Montana fucked around with this message at 02:20 on Aug 9, 2018 |
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Aug 9, 2018 02:13
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I can't believe I'm even responding to you, but I manage a program that provides social services for people with disabilities. I actually already said as much earlier. I didn't mention it explicitly, because it's not relevant and also none of you business. Even if I was cooking fries somewhere it wouldn't change a loving thing, because your logic that people with "low" jobs don't deserve common decency is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life. You are bar none the most broke brained poster I have ever seen on the forums. I looked a couple of threads in your rap sheet and holy poo poo. You just do this everywhere. I don't know what the gently caress is wrong with you, but you should really seek help you weird, antagonistic gently caress.
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Aug 9, 2018 02:48
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Wow, get help dude. You got some issues.
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Aug 9, 2018 02:54
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Ok that sounds great for society and everything, I more meant where do you sit in the working hierarchy. How hard is your job to get? How much education is required to get it? Who are you competing against? These aren't questions to belittle you (although little people would probably take it that way), its to assess how you should proceed in your situation. No, I'm not a 'Goon' in the usual sense. I am successful, not fat, social and have a great life. Hence I run into a lot of human trash on these forums and don't mind telling them so. If my English words put into sentences rock your world and make you wanna cry, I would suggest that says more about you than me. It's not that people with 'low' jobs don't deserve decency, that's some disney poo poo right there. It actually again demonstrates your lack of life experience. Its that people with 'low' jobs often can't do much about decency and depending on what you do and who you are, you might have no options at all. So going into HR strategies and how to professionally challenge a colleague when you do little more than admin is silly, you just do admin.. you don't bring anything to the table that anyone else with a heartbeat can do. As much as younger people think 'ok great, I've found a good job for my skills! I'm lucky!' its actually more like a trust fund kid that doesn't realize he actually doesn't have anything and reality is going to come knocking on your door sometime.. Give me some examples of your work and these situations. Describe to me your version of 'autonomous' and why your new boss sees this as a threat. I won't be a dick about it, I'll actually give you some insight from someone a few years ahead of you.
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Aug 9, 2018 02:56
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Holy fuckin  . Could you just like, not give me insight? How about you just go away instead?
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Aug 9, 2018 03:05
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See, told you. If you don't want to suck my teenage dick and tell me im great then can you please just go away? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 9, 2018 03:09
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The train left a long time ago on the not being a dick on your end. God almighty. Seriously get help.
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Aug 9, 2018 03:48
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The Dipshit posted:The train left a long time ago on the not being a dick on your end. God almighty. Yes, and that Tony Montana guy is no picnic either.
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Aug 9, 2018 03:50
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