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Black Griffon posted:Man, this is the first time I'm watching it live, and these hosts are loving horrifyingly terrible. Welcome to the - Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Welcome to the Oscars gently caress it, just drink.
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Feb 29, 2016 02:34
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this is great i love the sound of 5000 white people applauding because a black guy dissed oscarssowhite
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Feb 29, 2016 02:40
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Chris Rock is killing it.
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Feb 29, 2016 02:41
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Also, Ex Machina or Inside Out should have won.
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Feb 29, 2016 02:48
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Oh for sure, Chris owns. But you know half the loving room were so relieved when it looked like he was going to gently caress over oscarssowhite full time. Edit: Man I'll probably move this over to the main thread fulltime.
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Feb 29, 2016 02:53
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Only disappointment for me was that The Martian didn't win anything at all. =(
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Mar 1, 2016 08:02
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WilliamAnderson posted:Only disappointment for me was that The Martian didn't win anything at all. =( The Martian won the honour of being the only decent Ridley Scott movie since American Gangster. And in the end, isn't that enough?
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Mar 1, 2016 21:19
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Film Update 25 - Recidivism In our final Soviet film update, I want to talk a bit about some unfortunate tendencies of post-Soviet Russian cinema. Before 1991, the USSR didn't really have a studio system, like Hollywood did. There were several studios, the largest being Mosfilm (Moscow) and Lenfilm (Leningrad, later St. Petersburg again), and the other republics in the union, like Ukraine, Azerbaijan, Georgia and so on eventually opened up their own. However, every single film that came out was controlled by the state in its entirety. Goskino (The State Committee for Cinematography) controlled all films produced in the USSR, from production to censorship and distribution. Film wasn't a business, it was an arm of government administration. No one had any experience in producing films in a "free market" environment. Hell, around 1977, producing and distributing films in the USSR cost the state more money than it brought in.  Die Frau meiner Traume (1944), one of the German "trophy films" shown in the USSR On top of that, access to foreign film was incredibly limited. After World War II, Soviet armed forces managed to take a huge number of German (and other foreign) films from the Babelsberg Film Studio archives outside Berlin as trophies. A lot of these were shown first to Stalin, and then to the public at large. These films were renamed, various liberties were taken with their translation, but an average USSR citizen could go see Die Frau meiner Traume (a 1944 German musical comedy) at their local cinema. Particularly, the Soviet audiences really tok well to French comedies and Indian melodramas. But, the Cold War took off, and outside really edge cases (like Spartacus (1960) and The Magnificent Seven (1960)), you couldn't see any American films. Gone with the Wind (1939) wasn't shown in the country until 1990.  A "video salon", held in a makeshift shed After the Soviet Union collapsed, unfettered capitalism descended on Russia. One of the first things that popped up were impromptu "movie theatres", where a guy with a VCR and some recently bought video tapes would organize showings in his apartment, for a small price. This was the first time most people actually saw Hollywood movies without censorship (but with awful, single-voiced dubs): in a dark apartment, with near-zero video quality, on a tiny screen. You got a lot of showings a day, starting with cartoons for kids in the morning, and ending with softcore porn in the evening. The Russian movie-going public fell in love with the spectacle of Hollywood, and wanted more.  Night Watch (2004), one of the first post-Soviet Russian blockbusters However, the nineties were not a very stable time to produce movies. Money changed hands really quickly in the nineties, and securing financing was very difficult. In 1998, the Russian government defaulted on its debts, and the state had better things to spend its money on than making movies. A ton of small private studios popped up, mostly focused on low budget affairs. But the public wanted more, they wanted big budget Hollywood-type stuff. Finally, after recovering from the financial crisis, the wild nineties settled down, and more money could be safely invested into films again. Russian film could safely ape Hollywood big budget pictures, with none of the infrastructure, or decades of experience in place. With predictable results. That's not to say that there are no good films made in Russia right now, there are plenty (personally, I'd recommend The Geographer Drank His Globe Away (2013), Vysotsky. Spasibo, chto zhivoy (2011) and What Men Talk About (2010)), but Russian blockbusters are not good films. They barely reach mediocrity. A love for blockbusters is not the only lovely Hollywood habit Russian cinema picked up. Its love for remakes and sequels is far worse. We'll talk about one specific remake.  Gentlemen of Fortune (1971), a beloved classic and most watched Soviet film released that year Alexander Seryj's Gentlemen of Fortune (1971) opens with an archaeological expedition in Central Asia. A Soviet team finds a solid gold helmet that belonged to Alexander the Great. That night, three thieves steal it and bolt to Moscow to sell it. While they wait for a buyer, they lay low at a cottage, and that's where the KGB gets them. Since they had the foresight to hide the helmet, the KGB comes up with a grand plan: using a Moscow kindergarden principal who just happens to look exactly like the gang leader. With the actual leader sent to a Leningrad prison, the principal gets fake tats, learns the Russian thieves' cant, and gets sent to a Central Asian prison where the other two thieves await trial. Deep undercover, he has to convince them he's lost his memory, organize a jailbreak, and find the helmet. A typical fish out of water story, it follows a very kind, gentle man, as he tries to fit in with stereotypical gangsters. He does it so well, that the others end up scared of him, and start figuring out ways to get rid of him before they wake up with their throats cut. Of course, when the actual gang leader starts looking for the helmet, things get even more complicated.  Leonov as a principal pretending to be a hardcore gangster It's a very funny movie, though, honestly, I'm not sure how much of the humour translates into English. It's considered one of the great Soviet comedies, along with Diamond Arm (1968), Twelve Chairs (1971) and Kidnapping, Caucasian Style (1967). It's a classic, everyone loves it, so why not remake it? What could possibly go wrong?  Gentlemen, Good Luck (2012), a garbage fire Alexander Baranov's and Dmitry Kiselyov's Good Luck, Gentlemen (2012) is... not good. Like, at all. Instead of a kindergarden principal, our lead is now one of those guys that dress up as Iron Man and charge tourists money to take photos with them. His KGB handler is now a woman that he has a romantic plotline with. Also, unlike the original, where his handler simply convinces him to act by appealing to his better nature, here, she straight up coerces him by faking his participation in an unrelated crime. The lead is nowhere near as funny as Leonov was, nor is he as good an actor. The plot is all over the place, and direction is shabby. I'm just gonna translate some film critic responses here: "Some of these scenes were written out of desperation by Bezrukov [the lead] himself, who now has to live with having acted in this movie." "The new 'Gentlemen' is a perfect example of film recycling: when you reuse an old, but properly conditioned product, and end up with a pretty pile of manure that you have to dig through to find anything remotely consumable." "At one time a living folk comedy is reused with all the pitfalls of modern Russian cinema: stillborn scripts, a lack of star power, and eternal miscasting. Why is Sergei Bezrukov worse than Leonov, just because he's not fat or funny?" Yeah. Not pretty. There's a bunch of these remakes and sequels floating around, mostly made in late 2000s, early 2010s. These include a sequel-remake of The Irony of Fate, which I started our Soviet binge with. They're all poo poo. The Magnificent Seven (1960), a phenomenal remake of one of the greatest films of all time Thing is, remakes aren't even necessarily bad. The Magnificent Seven (1960) is a remake of Seven Samurai (1954); The Departed (2006) is a remake of Infernal Affairs (2002); True Lies (1994) is a remake of La Totale! (1991). Going one step further, a lot of great films are adaptations of some sort, from Ran (1985) to Stalker (1979) to O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000). You don't need to be wholly original to make a good film. But you do need to bring something new to it. A proper new take on the same material. Say something different, for gently caress's sake. SovFilm edit: You can now watch Gentlemen of Fortune here. The archive doesn't have a link to the remake, and thank whatever God you believe in for that. Kayten fucked around with this message at 07:17 on Sep 4, 2016 |
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Mar 6, 2016 04:54
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Talking poo poo About History Episode 1 - Slavic Paganism And now, for the final update of the Tireki century. A problem I found with history updates is that I keep leaving a lot of really interesting stuff on the cutting room floor to try to make the update tolerable in size. After all, not everyone wants to read a giant wall of text on, say, the rise and fall of the Cathars. I tried writing longer updates, but the flow just wasn't there. And of, course, I don't want to subject those of you who don't read the history updates to small novel in-between the game updates. So my friend and I came up with a solution. Introducing the inaugural episode of the OldMenLP history podcast, Talking poo poo About History! Talking poo poo About History Episode 1 - Slavic Paganism Please let us know what you guys think! Links from the episode: Hardcore History History of Rome Life of Caesar Ofaloaf's GothLP GreyHunter's GhanaLP Kayten fucked around with this message at 11:29 on Mar 9, 2016 |
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Mar 9, 2016 11:23
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Kayten posted:So my friend and I came up with a solution. Introducing the inaugural episode of the OldMenLP history podcast, Talking poo poo About History! I usually can't listen to podcasts but this name alone is making me want to try.
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Mar 9, 2016 19:28
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Also yeah, as mentioned in the podcast, voting is closed, and our winner is Akershus. Look forward to an update about that.
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Mar 9, 2016 21:17
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Kayten posted:Talking poo poo About History Episode 1 - Slavic Paganism Yeah, personally I love this kind of stuff! Mostly because it's audio, which means I can listen to it on the go or when I need to do other things at the same time, like cooking. Also I think you get so much more from a conversation than a monologue, even a written one, so in that case we get much more of it too. I'll upvote it, for how much that matters.
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Mar 11, 2016 02:36
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Oh man, this is fun. I'm pretty sure I saw Gentlemen, Good Luck on a flight to New Zealand a few years back, or something very, very similar. In any case, it was Russian,it was completely incomprehensible, and I think the subtitles were thai or something. Weird, loving weird.
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Mar 13, 2016 03:08
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This week is Maslenitsa! So, in honour of that, our family ate a bunch of Russian pancakes with fillings! Sorry for the blurry photo, I may have already been drunk. For some more Maslenitsa-related stuff, check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phPfuACoSIo&t=3s If you want to make you very own Russian Bliny, you can find a vaguely right recipe here!
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Mar 13, 2016 05:16
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Quick summary of this century:
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Mar 21, 2016 02:17
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Par for the course for any good viking.
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Mar 21, 2016 13:01
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Black Griffon posted:Par for the course for any good viking. Oh, it's not just the vikings. 
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Mar 22, 2016 06:53
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Finally, the Caspian can embrace the light of Catharism.
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Mar 22, 2016 07:00
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Mar 22, 2016 07:11
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That's what the Byzantines get for not embracing absolute cognatic succession! gently caress the Patriarchy, etc.
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Mar 22, 2016 07:26
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GSD posted:Finally, the Caspian can embrace the light of Catharism. See, you laugh, but there are not one, but TWO Cathar Khans in the Tsargrad Horde.
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Mar 22, 2016 07:32
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Kayten posted:Oh, it's not just the vikings. My god, that is beautiful.
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Mar 22, 2016 08:15
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Well, hell.
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Mar 22, 2016 12:15
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:My god, that is beautiful. The Francian-Byzantine Dance, a tragedy in three acts: Act I: Act II:  Act III: 
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Mar 23, 2016 07:38
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I can hear the cartographers stabbing their eyes out with their quills
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Mar 23, 2016 08:16
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:I can hear the cartographers stabbing their eyes out with their quills Yeah, I, uh, ended up doing horrible, horrible things to borders everywhere.  Byz also got Kent in that breakup, so RIP Cathar MA.
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Mar 23, 2016 08:36
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It looks like it wont be in their grasp for long, so there is still hope.  Also  at East Anglia being one of the westernmost countries.
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Mar 23, 2016 08:41
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And that is why we don't have kings in civilized countries.
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Mar 23, 2016 14:14
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You didn't ask for it, and yet here it is! Talking poo poo About History Episode 2 - Rurik and Friends Since we started with Slavic paganism, I decided to carry on with Russian history for the next little while. This week, we take a look at the formation of the first united Russian state - Kievan Rus. Starring vikings, firebombing, and ships with wheels on them! As always, feedback is appreciated.
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Mar 24, 2016 08:36
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Also, I finally finished playing through this "century", so expect an update... soon-ish.
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Mar 24, 2016 08:41
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Update 26 - The Calm Before the Storm Ulfr has come to his senses. Together with Amir, he walks back to the Caravan across the frozen lake. A young man waits for them at the shore. He stands six feet tall, wrapped in a bear skin.  : It is true, then? That is the world tree of the horsemen? : Yes.: Why is it still standing? The horsemen destroyed our lands! They destroyed Bjarmia! They burned Uppsala to the ground!Ulfr looks around. : Bjarmia looks fine. : And who might you be, young man?: I do not answer to merchants.: Answer me then.The young man bows before the viking. : I am Refr. Refr Ulfrsson. An Ulfrsson, as my father before me, and his father before him, going back sixteen generations. To Eirik.: My Eirik?: Yes, Anu. Your line survived.: Ulfr, this is great news! Your blood still -Ulfr raises his hand. : Survived. How long?Refr looks away. : Not many survived me. My son and none else.Two more young men approach them. They stand shoulder to shoulder, giants among men. The older one is trapped in his helmet. It's cracked and dented, and still the only thing still holding his battered head together. The younger one is dressed in robes, his hands always fidgeting. His eyes look past people, into some dreamworld that only he can see.  : Hrani. Broken. Fallen. : Dead and buried, children of Ulfr. Wandering Hel's realm, Refr, Hrani and Baldr. Searching for someone.: We have travelled far, Anu. We bring you a message.: Summons.: Much to show, much to see. For Ulfr, who died in vain.The youngest one points his crooked finger at Amir. : And for Amir, who looked, but could not see.: Come, Anu. Let us show you the end of the world.Baldr lets out a shrieking laugh. He raises his hands, and begins to chant. ... With the first line, the lake turns to the raging sea. With the second, the world tree turns to stone, a mighty castle on the shores of the Skagerrak. With the third, the Caravan is gone, and an army stands before them. ... The landscape shifts, and the sea throws shape after shape at them. Men, ships, cities, everything danced in the shadows.  : Welcome to Akershus.Refr points to a man, inspecting the troops. : This is Kettil, the chief of this land. He longs for Sweden.: Vessel. : His house, split in half. : His people, running. : Horsemen. Storming. : Children of the dead god, devouring themselves. : Kin. Fallen. : Memories. Faded. : But Kettil is not the only one that wants Sweden. Another pretender rises.: No matter. Kettil is special. : Feared. : Furthest reaches of the sea, conquered. : Perfects. Broken. : Surpassed his father. Hopes for peace. Hides in gold. : Captured! Lost! : The land is weak. Many voices sing. There should only be one. : With the power of Sweden at his back, Kettil crushes the rebels, and takes Aland by force. : Threats. Hide. : The new king welcomed all who would pay him homage. Willing or not. : Raid. Glory. : Kill. Brothers. : Walls. Archers. : A man before. Far more now. : His many vassals thought otherwise. : Many, but not enough. : Gold. English! : The king of Norge-Finland saw his chance to take Aland for himself. : Weak. Children! : Saw himself in the enemy's blade. Like a mirror.: Mirror! : Captured. Peace. Baldr cackles to himself.  : Who does Odin pray to? : The dead god killed the Aesir. But not the Vanir, no. Never the Vanir. : Traitor. Threat. : The horsemen left our homelands by then. Kettil picked up the pieces. : Pride of their fathers, like Sleipnir. : Father. Proud.  : Husband. Sorrow. : With Uppsala in the hands of the gods again, the land could rebuild. : If men on both sides of a holy war are true believers, do holy wars kill more faithful than any other? : Heralds! Spies! : Rise against the masters, as the slaves before you did, and as the slaves that follow you will do. : Loyal. Steadfast. : His playthings crushed, he shows his face. He sheds his mask. : Freyr! Lord! : Last of the Vanir, fleeing the giant Surtr, he builds his kingdom anew. : And so, the children of the gods ruled our home. : The cursed sun falls further east. The Greatest Enemy has few friends, and many rivals. : What happens when you try to convert a god? : Weak. Foreign.  : The hummingbird god, spreading his wings. : Cowards. Mercenary. : Freyr took all of Uppland from the heathens, bit by bit. : Odin prays to no one. Odin is dead. The Great Wolf Fenrir devoured him. : Challenge. Worthy! : Freyr knew that he could not kill the Germans in a frontal assault. So he sieged their castle, and waited for their armies, ready. : Not enough, never enough. Every babe with a pike, every elderman with a sword, and yet never enough. : Shame. Loss. : Uppsala was too tempting for Norge-Finland.: The dead god fights well, his arms unmoving. : Kill. Quickly.: Before they join their forces. : Blood! More!: But what could these Skraelings possibly do to the Norseman lands? Baldr shrieks with laughter. Refr smiles. Hrani grabs Amir by the shoulders. : Much.
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Apr 1, 2016 10:07
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In an update full of crazy things, the fact that the Tsargrad Horde settled as a republic is probably the craziest to me. 
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Apr 1, 2016 13:10
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Oh Boy, visitors, I love visitors!GunnerJ posted:In an update full of crazy things, the fact that the Tsargrad Horde settled as a republic is probably the craziest to me. Surely this new state will be stable and strong!
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Apr 1, 2016 13:26
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I am more impressed that this is supposed to be the calm before the storm. Is the next update written in black metal?
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Apr 1, 2016 13:50
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ZearothK posted:I am more impressed that this is supposed to be the calm before the storm. Is the next update written in black metal? From the sound of it more probably Death Metal.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:17
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GunnerJ posted:In an update full of crazy things, the fact that the Tsargrad Horde settled as a republic is probably the craziest to me. The Republic of the Steppes sounds pretty Russian though, so it works.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:36
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GunnerJ posted:In an update full of crazy things, the fact that the Tsargrad Horde settled as a republic is probably the craziest to me. Not the Tsargrad Horde. Just the Tireki clan. Those four counties are the entirety of the Republic of The Steppe.
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Apr 1, 2016 20:08
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Kayten posted:Not the Tsargrad Horde. Just the Tireki clan. Those four counties are the entirety of the Republic of The Steppe. I hope they do well. A beautiful, tiny Steppe Republic  I hope they vote with their horses, as is right.
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Apr 1, 2016 20:39
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GSD posted:I hope they do well. A beautiful, tiny Steppe Republic Glitterhoof for president?
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Apr 1, 2016 23:33
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Oh god. It's beautiful. It's horrifying.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:23
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