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habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

habeasdorkus posted:

Prediction Contest time!

Since the real life AFC Asian Cup is currently taking place, and the one in this LP will be starting in a few months, the prediction contest will be who wins the 2027 Asian Cup.

I've put together a spreadsheet with information you'll need to predict the outcome, just post your predictions here when you're done. Entry will be open until the LP's Asian Cup ends, which should be about six updates from now.

Still got another three updates to go before the contest closes, if you want to get your prediction in still.

eta: And there's two fresh updates at the bottom of the last page, if you happened to miss them.

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Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
Ah forgot about the contest.

Group A

India
Kuwait
Bahrain
Syria

Group B

Australia
China
Oman
Singapore

Group C

Japan
South Korea
Uzbekistan
North Korea

Group D

Iran
Qatar
Saudi Arabia
Lebanon

Quarterfinals
Winners:

South Korea
Australia
Japan
Iran

Semifinals

Winners:

Australia
Japan

Finals

Winner: Japan
Second Place: Australia
Third Place: South Korea

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Huddersfield management must be so psyched. "We get to be rid of our underperforming coach and the Hotspurs are going to give us cash? Where do we sign?"

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

quote:

Group A

India
Bahrain
Kuwait
Syria

Group B

Australia
Oman
China
Singapore

Group C

Japan
South Korea
Uzbekistan
North Korea

Group D

Iran
Qatar
Saudi Arabia
Lebanon

Quarterfinals
Winners:

South Korea
Australia
Japan
Iran

Semifinals

Winners:

Australia
Iran

Finals

Winner: Australia
Second Place: Iran
Third Place: Japan

The Ayatollah of Screw-you-over over the regular Ayatollah.

James Peach
Dec 30, 2008

habeasdorkus posted:

Chapter the Fifth: Ten year reunion.
November 1, 2026-November 27, 2026

A season late, but I'm still glad you finally broke out the pyramid! Now where are those sextuples you promised?

:D

JamesBCrazy
Jul 1, 2014

Vengeance is a sucker's game.
I wasn't aware that the Club World Cup was being contested by sixteen national teams from Asia.

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Random picking, don't fail me now!

Groups:
A: Bahrain, Syria, India, Kuwait
B: Oman, China, Australia, Singapore
C: Japan, Uzbekistan, North Korea, South Korea
D: Iran, Qatar, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia

Quarter-finals:
Bahrain vs. Uzbekistan
Oman vs. Qatar
Japan vs. Syria
Iran vs. China

Semi-finals:
Uzbekistan vs. Oman
Japan vs. China

Third Place:
Oman vs. Japan

Final:
Uzbekistan vs. China

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Interlude: The Dragonz Lair Radio Hour on BBC Radio Wales
January 1, 2027

(A professionally done sound effect of a dragon's roar opens the show)

: Coming to you from the bowels of the dragon's den in the world capital of football on BBC Radio Wales, it's the Dragonz Lair with your hosts Grwn and the Dragontamer!

: That's right Grwn, and our topic this week is nothing less than determining who deserves a spot on the greatest Wrexham team of all time!

: As you may remember from the end of the last season the supporters released their picks for the God-King's Starting XI, which only included players from the past dozen years.



: But we're a club entering our 164th year of existence!

: Indeed! Now, a note before we get started. Because of our beloved Dragon's long history the club has used many, many different formations.

: From the invention of the pyramid that the Coach revived in Europe this fall to the modern day 4-2-3-1, it's hard to fit players from different eras into the same formation.

: That's why we're wimping out and using a 4-4-2. It's not ideal, but it's what we've got to do when comparing an 1890's Full Back to a 1930's Half-Back to a 2020's Centerback.

: So deal with it.

: First up, Goalkeeper!

: Well, this seems like it should be pretty easy, shouldn't it?

: Yes, there's only a few names I can think of who deserve consideration. You've got Dai Davies, of course.

: Certified Wrexham Hall of Fame member who allowed just 1.06 goals per game over his five years with us in the 1970s and 1980s.


Davies

: And Brian Lloyd who-

: Who ditched us for Chester!

: But not before setting a consecutive matches played record of over 240 games, or winning the supporters Player of the Year award in 1976.


Lloyd

: And of course current Manchester United keeper Vid Kovacevic.



: Right. I think we're in agreement on this one. Vid played in almost as many games as Lloyd, and he was better.

: Too bad the rest of these won't be so easy.



: On to right back, where we have a couple of recent vintage players.

: How can we not consider Stevie Reed, who's already made 117 league appearances-



: Or Toon-chi Cheeryuk, who's been with the club for 8 years now.

: And whose name you still can't pronounce.



: You can't, either... But here we start to see how deep Wrexham's bench goes.

: Poor Ally McGowan, nearly 500 appearances for the club and we won't even be considering him.


McGowan

: Not with the likes of Alf “The Pride of Wrexham” Jones around.

: Jones is a Chester boy! Turns out they're not all awful.

: He could run for days during his 12 year career in the 1920s and 1930s.

: 503 league appearances! Two consecutive appearance streaks of 159 and 236!


Jones

: I'm sure if he hadn't died in 1959 he'd be outraged at the laziness of today's players and the constant squad rotation.

: And he's not even the oldest name in consideration.

: That'd be Horace Blew, who started his career in the 1890s at fullback, played 14 years for the Dragons, was Director of the club for another 18... and then topped it off by becoming Mayor of our fine town in 1923.

: He was even given “Freedom of the Borough” in the late 1940s for his service.


Blew

: Which makes this a hard choice... Blew or Jones?

: I don't know, Grwn. I do know that Blew only played one league match for Wrexham... because Wrexham wasn't even in the Football League at the time.

: Alright, executive decision then. Alf Jones, come on down!



: How about Centerbacks?

: We sure have a lot of contenders.

: From the modern day likes of Chris Todd.



: Mattias Laux...



: Even recently returned Stewart Lewis!



: To grand old lads like Gareth Davies, whose sixteen year tenure was marked by an “elegant consistency [that] was almost taken for granted at the back.”


Davies

: And Eddie May, our captain for eight years who scored 35 goals in his 334 league matches, every single one of them using his head.


May

: Don't forget Alan Fox, who turned down Arsenal to stay with Wrexham.


Fox

: And last but not least another man born two centuries ago, Ted Robinson.

: Robinson was with Wrexham for 13 years around the turn of the 20th century, and then went on to manage the club for another dozen years.

: Not only that, he was so associated with the club that they called Wrexham “The Robins.”


Robinson

: If that name had stuck would this be the Robin's Nest show?

: I doubt I'd be the Robintamer.

: So that gives us some tough choices for our two spots in the back center.

: Not that it should count for more, but Davies has long history after his playing days with the club.

: He's literally written the book on the club's history!

: I think I'd have to go with Davies and Laux.

: Laux, already? This is only his sixth year with the club.

: I know, but he's already done so much in those six years that I think he just pips May.

: I can see that, and I can see him passing Robinson, who's bigger claim to fame is his managerial career.

: So let's put them on the board. Next up is left fullback.



: Here we've only got one modern contender for the job, the explosive Frenchman...

: James Loseille!



: We've also got a name from the relatively recent past in Phil Hardy, who made 349 league appearances from 1990 through 2001-


Hardy

: And the boy from Llandudno, Joey Jones, who was the biggest transfer ever at £212,000 when he came back from Liverpool after the 1978 season and who's


Jones

: This is a question of what's more important. Tenure or quality? I think we can count Hardy out-

: I don't think you can.

: What?

: Jones didn't play in that many more league matches for the club, and Loseille hasn't even been around 5 years yet.

: So you'd take Hardy over either of them.

: I didn't say that, I just said you couldn't count him out.

: Well, are you saying he should be there?

: You know what, yes. Sure Wrexham only had one great moment during his time at the club, the magical run to the FA Cup quarterfinal, but tenure counts! Come back to me with your Loseille when he's played more than 115 league matches for the club.

: I wasn't going to pick Loseille, you idiot.

: You're calling me an idiot, you prick?!

: Shut your hole, you motherfu-

(An obvious edit later)

: Ok, right. So after a sidebar with my partner here-

: We've both agreed that Joey Jones is Wrexham's all time greatest left back.

: Giving us the fullback pairing of Jones and Jones.



: It's time to move on to the club's weakest position, our right midfielder.

: We've had some good play throughout recent years on the right wing...

: But no one has put in much time there.

: Right. Dimitri Nieddu was great.



: But only in Wrexham for two years.

: Michael Coulson is a fan favorite...



: But barely reached 100 league matches played.

: And Shahed Parr is marvelous...



: When he's not hurt, having only been fit for 75 league matches across five years with the club.

: But it's not like there's many players who could step in from the past.

: Ron Hewitt is pretty much the only choice out there who has much longevity and the stats to back it up.


Hewitt

: 94 goals in 231 matches isn't shabby, it's the fourth highest total in club history.

: Even if he forced a transfer to damned Swansea.

: So by default, Ron Hewitt is out wide right for us.



: Let's hope when we do this again a decade from now we can easily pick Rodrigo Moctezuma or Kristian Bale for that spot.

: We go from a position of weakness to one where we're going to have to leave an all time great Wrexham player out in the cold.

: I'm not looking forward to this.

: Central midfield has nearly a dozen contenders, but recent Dragons like Stuart Mair-



: Stuart Simpson-



: and Richard Petts-



: Along with Wrexham Hall of Famers Barry Horne-


Horne

: Bryan Hughes-


Hughes

: And the great Mel Sutton just don't have a chance.


Sutton

: None can compare to the three players who are fighting for two spaces.

: How am I supposed to choose?!

: We've got a man they called the Prince of Wales going up against the engine of back to back promotions going up against the Golden Boy!

: Justin Bailey has climbed to 14th all time in league appearances for the club. He's easily the longest tenured player with us right now, and joined us when we were still all the way down and out of the Football League.



: But his 290 appearances still leaves him a whopping 302 behind Arfon "The Prince of Wales" Griffiths! And Griffiths is still second all time in goals, with a mighty 120 despite being a midfielder.


Griffiths

: And we haven't even mentioned The Golden Boy!

: The Golden Boy! What a marvel! Did you know that in 229 matches he's already tied for eighth in goals?



: Whoever we leave out we're going to feel guilty about.

: There's no good choice here, they're all great. They're all brilliant. They're all legends.

(There's dead air punctuated by agonized sighing for the next minute and a half)

: I think we have to go with Bailey and Griffiths though, don't you?

: I hate to say it, but yes. Shirra's young yet, he'll continue to make his case for inclusion in the years to come.

: It hurts to leave him off the squad. I hope the next position is easier.



: Don't worry, it is. Wrexham has had some great players out left over the last 160 years, but there's no one who can match the Meteor.



: True, true. But let's not forget those who he's surpassed.

: I recall the old footage of Billy Tunnicliffe, who scored once every three games despite playing out on the wing.


Tunnicliffe

: And there's Karl Connolly, who still has more goals than all but five other players.


Connolly

: And last but surely not least, the counterfeiter-in-chief.

: Old Mickey Thomas!


Thomas

: I can't believe he used the Wrexham youth squad to launder his counterfeit money!

: I can't believe they still put him in the Wrexham Hall of Fame!

: He did have a great joke about it, though.

: "Roy Keane's on 50 grand a week. So was I till the police found my printing machine."

(The two crack up laughing)



: Whew... Ok, that leaves just one position left.

: Up top, the glory boys!

: The strikers!

: Before we get to our final selections, we should note the great goal-scorers of Wrexham's past and present who didn't quite make the cut.

: William “Billy the Kid” Harrison, who retired after a bad injury a few years ago.



: Albert Kinsey, the seventh highest goal scorer in club history with a whopping 84 in just 253 matches.


Kinsey

: Isaac Stringel, who could end up a club legend at the rate he's improving.



: Billy Ashcroft, the forward for those great teams of the 1970s.


Ashcroft

: And Graham Whittle, who still sits fifth all time in goals scored behind two of the next names coming up.


Whittle

: I don't think it will surprise anyone that Tommy Bamford is making our all time Best XI.


Bamford

: He's one of the greatest players in Welsh history, and even with Thiago's remarkable season last year he still didn't come close to matching Bamford's amazing 44 goals in the 1933-1934 league.

: He racked up an amazing 175 league goals in just six years from 1928 through 1934, and added another 26 in other competitions to give him a stratospheric 201 for his Wrexham career.

: Not bad for a short guy from Port Talbot.

: When we were coming up with this list I think we were wondering if anyone would top Tommy.

: They sure didn't, and that leaves us just one spot left on the team.

: We've got three candidates for that spot, all of whom might have challenged Bamford had they spent longer here.

: Right, it's hard to say no to a player like Gary “Psycho” Bennett, who played just four years with the club in the 1990s but scored 82 league goals and 114 total goals in that time.


Bennett

: But it's hard to say no to The Bastard, too.



: He scored only one fewer league goal than Bennett in eleven fewer matches, and we still miss him to this very day.

: But if it weren't for Real Madrid coming along to steal Rocky away from us, we might never have gotten to know Thiago.

: And thank the God-King that we did.



: Bastable and Bennett are both club legends, but what Thiago has done over the last three and a half years is unheard of.

: He's already third in all of Wrexham's history for league goals scored, with an unbelievable 102 in 113 league matches.

: Thiago has a chance of catching Bamford if he stays healthy and maintains anything like the type of form he's been in over the last three season.

: He's already scored 162 goals in a Wrexham kit! That's unbelievable.

: And that's why he's the final member of our Wrexham Best XI.



: And that wraps up our show for this week. Thanks for listening to me, Grwn-

: And me, the Dragontamer-

: Here on BBC Radio Wales.

: As always, leave your comments and complaints on the forums!

: Where we will ignore them.

: See you next week!

(A high quality soundclip of a dragon roaring and wings flapping plays over the final seconds of the broadcast)

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

JamesBCrazy posted:

I wasn't aware that the Club World Cup was being contested by sixteen national teams from Asia.

Yeah, that wasn't my finest editing. Should be clearer now.

I forget who wanted to see the coaching stats for Simpson/Coulson/Lewis, but here they are.

Stuart Simpson:


Stewart Lewis:


Michael Coulson:

the JJ
Mar 31, 2011

habeasdorkus posted:

Yeah, that wasn't my finest editing. Should be clearer now.

I forget who wanted to see the coaching stats for Simpson/Coulson/Lewis, but here they are.

Stuart Simpson:

Stewart Lewis:

Michael Coulson:

So basically Coulson is an alright scout.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Yeah. They're all very new at coaching, so they'll almost certainly improve with time, but I wouldn't expect any of them to do anything useful.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Chapter the Eighth: Golden Ball
January 1, 2027-January 20, 2027

Our schedule is still fakakta, which means that we'll be taking the transfer window in two separate installments as we fight through what is likely to be four cup matches in the first three weeks of the new year.



Don't expect any additions to the club. We're £2.9m in the red at the moment.



The annual awards kick off with Isaac Parsons winning the US Young Player award, I'm very glad that he's now in a league where he'll be tested more.



Despite being an afterthought on his own club Sinan Ünsal remains the best Turkish player in the world.



Mujkic picks up his fourth AFC Player of the Year award.



He's also one of our four starters on the World XI, but Thiago is snubbed for the starting role in favor of Wolfburg's Roman Baumann despite scoring 68 goals in 70 matches to Baumann's comparatively puny 41 in 68. He won't be winning the Ballon d'Or, it seems.



Mujkic increases his award haul when he picks up the writers choice for world player of the year. He, Stringel, and Roman Baumann have all been invited to the award ceremony where the winner of the Ballon d'Or will be revealed...

vs Southampton, January 2, 2027
FA Cup, Third Round


Southampton are good now. Really. Once they fired Noel Tosh they went on a quickly upward trajectory, and so far this year they're sitting in fourth place, one point behind Chelsea and Manchester United and with a game in hand. They've only lost four matches all season, and with the exception of being upset by Reading all those losses came against megabastards. Our Cup defense could end before it begins if we're not cautious.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Mercado, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Landgraf, Cirjak, Tounkara, Zouaghi, Damgaard, Parr, Stringel.

We take the lead on a Mujkic goal after Allan's shot is deflected in the thirtieth minute, and our defense is stifling a punchless Southampton through an hour of play. Then the wheels come off for the visiting squad, as Mercado scores on the rebound of a Mujkic shot, Allan scores not 10 minutes later, and Thiago makes it an out and out rout. Worse for Southampton's fans is how dominated their squad was, never even getting a shot away.

Man of the Match: Callum Allan




Wrexham 4-0 Southampton



I'd make a “we will Bury you!” joke, but I'm pretty sure I've already done that once way back when we were in the lower leagues. I'm tempted to play an entirely youth squad for this match just to give Bury a fighting chance.



Yes! Meteor is the best!

vs Sheffield United, January 6, 2027
League Cup, Semifinal Home Tie


The Blades were in the 2014-2015 League Cup semifinal as I wrote this, up against Tottenham. They weren't quite able to overcome the Spurs, falling 2-3 on aggregate. Sheffield United has had a lot of success recently against Premier League clubs despite being in League One themselves, lets hope their future dopplegangers don't take any inspiration from them.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1
Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Laux, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Bailey (c), Moctezuma, Stringel, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Landgraf, Loseille, Hammat, Maloney, Allan, Mercado, Parr.

This Sheffield squad doesn't have the panache of their real-life counterparts. Stringel scores in the fifth minute, followed by Rodrigo Moctezuma earning his first goal in a Wrexham jersey. String adds a second before the break, and we're cruising. The three goals are plenty, and Sheffield will have to score at least thrice if they want to make it to Wembley.

Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel




Wrexham 3-0 Sheff Utd



Congrats. I hope that power isn't going to your head.



Uh, what's that about a £134m loan?!



Oh, ok. You just refinanced our existing ones and rolled the interest due into the new debt instrument.



The election also brings three new faces onto the board of directors.



As per usual they hail from outside of the UK.



Gomez is a very good young striker who was born in Kansas City but has both Mexican and American citizenship. I'm still hoping we can convince him to join Team USA, but the Mexicans have already put him on their U20 squad several times and he's not answering my damned phone calls.



Rouissi was our only player out on a six month loan, it's nice that he's playing well enough to stick in Swansea's first team.

vs Huddersfield, January 8, 2027
Premier League


Our match against Everton was rescheduled because they drew in the FA Cup and need another go-round with Sheffield Wednesday, so if we get past Huddersfield we can claim a 365 day period of not having lost in the league.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Landgraf, Cirjak, Tounkara, Bailey, Pickee, Damgaard, Stringel.

Our dragons put Huddersfield under seige from the opening whistle, and it pays off with a leaping Mujkic goal fifteen minutes later. Then Meteor, feeling invincible after having been feted as the finest player in the world, earns a straight red card in the 57th minute for a two footed tackle! Huddersfield make use of their man advantage to equalize five minutes later. We're unable to score, and the ref denies Thiago a penalty shout at the end of the match to send us to our third draw of the season. We remain undefeated, but drop points.




Wrexham 1-1 Huddersfield



Damnit Mujkic. And you're going to be suspended for our match against Manchester United, too.



Who do you think you are, Cristiano Ronaldo? It wasn't any better when he got a red card a few weeks after he won the Ballon d'Or in real life!




As punishment you'll have to spend more time with a Scotsman.



The record is actually a whopping 49 games by the Arsenal “Invincibles” of 2003-2004 spread across three different seasons. I don't think we're going to be able to manage that.

vs Manchester United, January 16, 2027
Premier League


Winning this match will end Manchester United's title aspirations. They've been much better since their tough start, after losing four of their first seven games they've won eleven of fourteen. Still, they have to beat us in Wales, and that's no easy feat.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Laux, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Landgraf, Cirjak, Tounkara, Maloney, Allan, Mercado, Pickee.

The ref decides to give United a gift penalty on a Reed challenge in the first ten minutes, and we're behind. We equalize not twenty minutes later when Laux fires a surprisingly deft shot for a defender past a surprised Kovacevic. Then Reed makes up for his penalty with a slick cross to the Golden Boy and we take the lead after an hour of play. Stringel gives us the comfort of a two goal lead not long thereafter, and draws the curtains on United's title hopes. Too bad, so sad.

Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel




Wrexham 3-1 Man United



We're lucky that our next two matches are in the League Cup and the FA Cup, both of which will see us play lower division squads. Mujkic will be eligible for our next Premier League match, against Arsenal.

At Sheffield United, January 19, 2027
League Cup, Semifinal Away Tie


Anything short of the biggest upset in a decade will consign Sheffield United to the dustbin of history.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Damgaard, Pickee, Allan, Mercado, Thiago.
Subs: Landgrad, Reed, Hammat, Bailey, Shirra, Parr, Stringel.

We perform poorly against a lower division side, and it aggravates me to no end. It takes 50 minutes for our first goal, from Mitchell Pickee, and that turns out to be our only one of the day. Tonci Cirjak has to come off the field with twenty minutes left, and it only adds to my vexation over our lackluster performance that nevertheless sees us on to the final.

Man of the Match: Mitchell Pickee




Sheff Utd (0) 0-1 (4) Wrexham



We played poorly and still won. We won't get away with that against Arsenal. The only thing I can be happy about is that Cirjak wasn't badly injured, he's not my first choice anymore but he's played in 15 of our 34 matches and keeps Reed and Loseille from getting worn out.



I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever relinquish our spot atop the table despite having four games in hand over Chelsea and three on the rest of the clubs. Still, we didn't play exceptionally well over this stretch, and we could find ourselves dealing with a late title challenge if we keep dropping points against the likes of Huddersfield.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

What are Rouissi's stats now that he can start regularly for a Premier League squad? This includes player rating scores and his production for the Swans.

Finally glad to see him get a consistent Premier League spot for once. I was getting scared he'd become our Freddy Adu.

Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Jan 29, 2015

CVE
Jan 27, 2012
If possible I'd like to get back into the board of directors unless of course you're holding a vote/contest for it. It would be a german board member.

In other news Thiago will become the best scorer that ever lived only to be ignored in every award ceremony.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

CVE posted:

If possible I'd like to get back into the board of directors unless of course you're holding a vote/contest for it. It would be a german board member.

It's just first come/first serve whenever I notice we have new directors (I think they come in during elections).


Dreamsicle posted:

What are Rouissi's stats now that he can start regularly for a Premier League squad? This includes player rating scores and his production for the Swans.

Finally glad to see him get a consistent Premier League spot for once. I was getting scared he'd become our Freddy Adu.

Rouissi's not bad, putting up 5 goals and 3 assists to go with a 6.84 average rating for the Swans so far. He's getting to the point where I'd have loved to have him when we were winning our first title.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
Problem being, of course, that Rouissi is an attacking mid, Wrexham's deepest and most talented position.

the JJ
Mar 31, 2011

JT Jag posted:

Problem being, of course, that Rouissi is an attacking mid, Wrexham's deepest and most talented position.

Still that's 4.5 star potencial.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

I wonder if Grwn and the Tackleford Cormorant have ever butted heads. Interaction would be fun if they got promoted.

Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 18:19 on Jan 29, 2015

kingturnip
Apr 18, 2008

JT Jag posted:

Problem being, of course, that Rouissi is an attacking mid, Wrexham's deepest and most talented position.

Also, his Passing/Creativity/Long Shots aren't good enough if he's in the team as a creative player, hisFinishing/Heading aren't good enough if he's played as someone who gets in the box to score goals and his Crossing isn't good enough if he's played out wide.

I say 'not good enough' in a Wrexham context; he's plenty good enough for most Premiership teams.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
Oh, hey, sorry I didn't respond to your PM, habe. Work (literally) kicked my arse over the last few days and I didn't get a chance to reply. I will say from the top of my head, your all time XI list is probably pretty similar to my own.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Nice! As long as I didn't forget anyone who clearly should have been mentioned I'm pretty happy. Also, finding all those old pictures was probably the most time consuming part of the whole thing.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

So everyone knows that Arsenal has the longest league undefeated streak, but who has the longest winning streak amongst all competitions? Single game cups like the Community Shield and Super Cup not counting.

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo
Hey, Grêmio won something in FM AU! Meanwhile, in real life, we're twenty days away from hitting 5000 days without winning a major title - national or international. Don't watch football. If you do, follow a megabastard. Otherwise it's all sadness.

Also, geez, those Welsh dudes were ugly fucks.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them

Dias posted:

Also, geez, those Welsh dudes were ugly fucks.

It's in our genes. We come from a hard, barren and wild land of sheep, mountains and ugliness :v:

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
The longest unbeaten streak in English football is held by AFC Wimbledon, who were in kind of a weird situation. Wimbledon FC had a long and storied history in English football, beginning all the way back in 1889. They won the FA Cup nearly 100 years later, and were a founding member of the Premier League, finishing in the top half as often as not in the 1990s. Then the owners decided to move the club. That's something that just doesn't happen in European sports, the idea of moving a team is anathema. It happened anyways, though, and so the Womblies became the Milton Keynes Dons.

The fans did not take well to that, they formed their own club, AFC Wimbledon, which they consider the real heirs to Wimbledon's history, in 2002. With a good chunk of support from what had been right up until that point a Premier League club they were able to form a club and blow away the lower leagues, going undefeated for 78 matches between February 2003 and December 2004. They're now in League Two, and absolutely loathe the MK Dons, who fell apart around the time they were permitted to move and now reside in the lower leagues as well.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Dias posted:

Also, geez, those Welsh dudes were ugly fucks.

Not all Welsh! A bunch were Scottish and English, too. And Tommy Bamford was pretty on the eyes.

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy

habeasdorkus posted:

The longest unbeaten streak in English football is held by AFC Wimbledon, who were in kind of a weird situation. Wimbledon FC had a long and storied history in English football, beginning all the way back in 1889. They won the FA Cup nearly 100 years later, and were a founding member of the Premier League, finishing in the top half as often as not in the 1990s. Then the owners decided to move the club. That's something that just doesn't happen in European sports, the idea of moving a team is anathema. It happened anyways, though, and so the Womblies became the Milton Keynes Dons.

The fans did not take well to that, they formed their own club, AFC Wimbledon, which they consider the real heirs to Wimbledon's history, in 2002. With a good chunk of support from what had been right up until that point a Premier League club they were able to form a club and blow away the lower leagues, going undefeated for 78 matches between February 2003 and December 2004. They're now in League Two, and absolutely loathe the MK Dons, who fell apart around the time they were permitted to move and now reside in the lower leagues as well.

Let it be known that absolutely no-one likes the MK Dons.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Chapter the Ninth: It comes down to who wants it more.
January 20, 2027-February 10, 2027

We kick off the next spate of games at League One squad Bury in the FA Cup, and then travel to Arsenal before continuing on to face Burnley, Nottingham Forest, West Brom, and Crystal Palace in the league. You can guess which match I've got circled on my calendar as the tough one.



The Group stage at the Asian Cup ends with no real surprises except perhaps for Kuwait surviving to the knockout round. They'll need a miracle to get past Japan in their quarterfinal. If you're in the contest I wouldn't worry too much about it since only a couple people picked them to advance. The leaders right now are TheMcD and Dreamsicle, but it's still wide open since you get more points for correctly predicting later matches.

At Bury, January 23, 2027
FA Cup, Fourth Round


We're the televised early game, giving us a live national audience. It's time to show them the glory of the Pyramid! It should be familiar to any ghosts who recall Bury's one FA Cup win, all the way back in 1903.

Starting Formation: Pyramid (2-3-5)
Starting 11: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Bailey (c), Shirra, Maloney, Parr, Thiago, Moctezuma, Stringel, Damgaard.
Subs: Landgraf, Laux, Tounkara, Brown, Zouaghi, Bale, Pickee.

It's a contest between Stringel and Thiago to see who can score more often. String gets us off on the right foot in the third minute, then Thiago matches him ten minutes later. We're keeping an immense amount of possession over poor Bury, who seem flabbergasted by our formation. Stringel noses ahead with a second goal in the 25th minute, but once again Thiago pulls level. Then Thiago is first to his hat trick, earning it after play resumes in the second half, and Stringel is chasing him. Bury take a moment to finally score themselves on a rebound during a fast break, but Stringel has the final word five minutes from full time with his own hat trick, and we've burned through Bury as if they weren't even there. String takes the man of the match award thanks to having assisted on one of Thiago's goals, and the Pyramid has now been used to resounding success for a second time in a major competition.

Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel




Bury 1-6 Wrexham



I'm happy facing anyone but Manchester United or Arsenal.



This was originally scheduled for mid-December. Our fixture list is a black hole of congestion flinging matches months into the future.



Hey, remember when we were trying to sign this guy six years ago and he turned us down for Internazionale? Yeah, now we're going to get to see him all the time on Manchester United. Joy.



We're going to have a long discussion about our finances come the annual budget meeting, because our current rate of spending isn't sustainable over the long haul.

At Arsenal, January 26, 2027
Premier League


Arsenal are the last squad to have beaten us in League play, 377 days ago. They're one of the few teams I'm concerned could busting up our undefeated season, and they have a striker in Lino Fiorotto who's put up a Thiago-esque 21 goals in 22 matches.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Loseille, Laux, Shirra, Mercado, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Landgraf, Cirjak, Zouaghi, Maloney, Allan, Pickee, Parr.

We have our chances in the first half, but so does Lino Fiorotto. Both defenses can feel happy after thirty minutes that they haven't conceded. When the players head to the lockers for the break the fans can think back on the well played, evenly matched first half.

Our defense needs rejiggering and when Quiboulaz has to head off with a nasty gash early in the second half, Laux drops back to central defense and teenager Kamel Zouaghi takes his place as our defensive midfielder. Five minutes later Arsenal get caught ball watching, and allow a goal when Mujkic's high arcing cross finds an unmarked Steve Reed by the penalty spot.

I yoink Stringel for Allan as we switch to the 4-5-1 to defend our lead. Arsenal redoubles their attack, making our defense to bend. It doesn't break, however, and they're forced to spend the final six minutes of the match playing a man down due to an injury to their third substitute. We slip away from the Emirates with a victory after our sternest challenge in months.

Man of the Match: Steve Reed




Arsenal 0-1 Wrexham



That's now a season's worth of games without a loss.



Quibz gets away with a few stitches, while Arsenal's Santiago Pedrozo picked up a sprained ankle that will keep him out of action for over a month.



Nice piece of business here by our foes to the northeast. That's £6m less than Juventus paid for Eliav, and significantly less than they were paying him in wages. Pretty good for a fullback who's nearly as good as James Loseille.

vs Burnley, January 30, 2027
Premier League


It'd be so typical if we beat Arsenal in North London just to lose to bottom-dwellers Burnley. Let's not do that. This is the last start for Lajos Kocsis, who's done masterful work in Kojiro Minami's absence. He's conceded just five goals across nine matches going into this one.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Bailey (c), Parr, Allan, Damgaard, Stringel.
Subs: Landgraf, Reed, Hammatt, Zouaghi, Shirra, Pickee, Moctezuma.

Our high line and pressing style work to perfection as Shahed Parr and Isaac Stringel work to get the ball back deep in Burnley territory. Their success sets up an easy chance for Callum Allan, and makes it one-nil in the eleventh minute. Allan repays Parr with a great ball to set up our second goal six minutes later. Then Burnley's centerback is sent off after going in late on Parr as we near the half-hour, and they are deeply and truly screwed. Stringel and Allan both score before the break, and despite the beating rain the Wrexham faithful chant for more.

We oblige with a further deluge of goals. One pours in immediately after the half off the head Dramane Tounkara. Three more come in quick succession off the boot of Claus Damgaard. A fifth allows Callum Allan to complete his hat trick. Nine-nil says the board at the end of the match, as Burnley limp bedraggled from the sodden pitch.

Man of the Match: Callum Allan.




Wrexham 9-0 Burnley



The margin of victory is the largest in my time at Wrexham, and matches the club record set against Hartlepool in a 10-1 victory from 1962. It also ties a Premier League record for largest win, matching Manchester United's nine-nil annihilation of Ipswich Town in 1995.




The Australians claim the AFC Cup over Japan, despite the retirement of both Meteor Mujkic and Rocky Bastable from international competition. It's a slight upset, and I'm sure Koji Minami is displeased that he coughed up two goals in the final to an Australian domestic league striker named Fortune Akinade.

The result gives us a tie in our yearly prediction contest. Both TheMcD and Ghostwoods finished with 35 points, with Ghostwoods being the only person to correctly predict every single quarterfinal, semifinal, third place match, and final winner. I'll have to come up with a tiebreaker. As always anyone is welcome to check my math, as it's entirely possible I made a mistake somewhere.



PSG starts sniffing around upon hearing that Scott Shirra didn't make the Dragonz Lair All Time XI.



In general, though, it's a quiet window.

vs Nottingham Forest, February 2, 2027
Premier League


Our easy schedule continues with a visit from 16th placed Nottingham Forest, who still have work to do if they want to stay in the Premier League.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Zouaghi, Shirra, Parr, Pickee, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Laux, Maloney, Allan, Mercado, Moctezuma.

Nottingham comes our feisty to start, but backs off their aggressive style after 15 minutes when it hasn't succeeded in nabbing them an early goal. Thiago puts the ball into the back of the net for us, but was clearly offside. He's been mediocre since his disappointment during awards season.

Parr is hot, though, and Pickee picks out a wonderful pass to get him clear on through to goal. Parr then sets up a Pickee goal by dribbling around two defenders and into the box, selflessly giving up the shot to the younger player. Thiago finally finds net three minutes later, and the outcome is no longer in doubt. Our substitutes add two more goals in the final five minutes, one comes from Callum Allan, and the other is Rodrigo Moctezuma's first ever league goal.

Man of the Match: Mitchell Pickee




Wrexham 5-0 Nottm Forest

vs West Bromwich Albion, February 6, 2027
Premier League


The banquet of bottom-feeders continues with West Brom, who sit uncomfortably in 19th position on the table.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Moctezuma.

Parr is en fuego, picking up his third goal in as many games after 15 minutes. A second goal is tacked on when Stringel frees a streaking Thiago, who puts it in the upper right corner from the edge of the area. Thiago scores again 116 seconds later on a corner kick, and he's back to being the man I'm used to seeing. Parr scores another goal deep in the second half, and then is promptly taken out by a West Brom tackle.

Man of the Match: Shahed Parr




Wrexham 4-0 West Brom



And just when he was getting into a good run of form, too. We'll have to get by with some combination of Moctezuma, Pickee, and Mercado.

At Crystal Palace, February 9, 2027
Premier League


Crystal Palace marks the end of our feast against the bottom of the table, they're sitting in a healthy 10th place, with six points of cushion between them and the drop. I'll miss facing the dregs of the league, it's not often that you can put up an 18-0 stretch over three matches.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Laux, Allan, Moctezuma, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Shirra, Damgaard, Pickee.

Crystal Palace's Ozzie Olney has had quite a year so far, with 17 league goals to his name. He almost adds an 18th right at the start when he slips our offside trap. He doesn't miss when he slips through again near halftime, and we're behind after having played poorly throughout the half.

I give it to the players with both barrels, ordering them to come out in the 4-4-2 diamond and get us back into the match, and young Rodrigo Moctezuma does just that five minutes after play resumes. Crystal Palace isn't done, though, scoring again in the 68th minute from a corner. We play raggedly and can't muster a response in the final twenty minutes and the dream of the Invincibles dies with a whimper.




Palace 2-1 Wrexham



I have to admit, I was really gunning for that record. This hurts.



We got lazy, and Crystal Palace made us pay. They fully deserved their win, and I am not going to let the players forget how they let a much worse team push them around because they had desire that we so blatantly lacked.




My wrath doesn't end with just one post game lecture.




The next day sees the worst performers docked two weeks pay.




I accept no excuses for their poor play, and give no credit for past glories.



Those who don't get fined still get called onto the carpet for their mistakes.



But I can't make all of them listen.



I knew we weren't going to go undefeated, but I had started to let myself think about it. Then we got run off the pitch by a determined Crystal Palace squad. Now we're on our way to a merely great year rather than a legendary one. C'est la vie, and at least now I can force the men to refocus after they got too big for their britches.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
Anyone else want to see Grwn somehow running for Prime Minister or something ridiculous by the end of the LP?

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Chapter the Tenth: A bad draw, a bad day.
February 10, 2027-March 7, 2027

We better obliterate all comers over the next month, or I'm going to go Bobby Knight on one of our players.



At Reading, February 13, 2027
FA Cup, Fifth Round


Sorry, AJ_Impy, you're playing us at the wrong time. I want to wipe Reading from the face of the earth.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Shirra, Mercado, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Tounkara, Maloney, Allan, Pickee, Moctezuma.

We get off to a much better start than we did against Crystal Palace, and Meteor decides to show me that he doesn't need to provide balls to our strikers to change the game. Our sloppiness allows Reading to climb back into the game with an equalizer in the 18th minute, though. But Matias Mercado restores our lead after Isaac Stringel botches an easy chance. Thiago scores shortly before the half, and we've earned a comfortable advantage.

Our defense isn't spectacular when play resumes, but Stringel and Mercado add two more goals to our line and we're moving on to the round of eight. The players are expecting me to pat them on the head when they come into the lockers after the game, but the memories of the Crystal Palace catastrophe are still fresh in my mind.

Man of the Match: Matias Mercado




Reading 1-5 Wrexham



Our path to the final went from being a smooth slope to being a jagged peak.



We're never going to play Southampton, because there's a good chance this will get moved yet again if we advance in the Champions League.

At Valencia, February 17, 2027
Champions Leauge, Knockout Round Away Tie


I have a bad habit of over-prounouncing Valencia using what I imagine to be a strong Spanish accent so that it comes out “Balenthia.” I'm sure that would get on people's nerves if I ever actually talked to anyone about the club or the city. As is, it's just a weird quirk of mine that only shows up when I'm talking to myself as I play Football Manager.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Mercado, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Tounkata, Bailey, Allan, Pickee, Moctezuma.

Valencia's left back, Braulio, picks up a card in the first two minutes of play. That could prove important. What follows is a clinic of control, where we dominate possession and only give up one dangerous chance right before the break.

The problem is that we just can't score. Multiple chances go begging as both Mercado and Thiago can't find the target. Then we get a break when Braulio picks up his second yellow in the 59th minute. Yet we still can't push through an away goal. The final ten minutes of the game sees a steady decline in the number of players on the pitch as first Matthias Laux gets sent off when he makes an idiotic tackle as the last man between Valencia's player and the goal, and then the home team has to play the final five minutes with only nine men on the pitch after a late injury to their right midfielder. Our inability to score an away goal could haunt us, we now need to win outright in Wales to advance to the next round.

Man of the Match: James Loseille




Valencia 0-0 Wrexham




Laux gets fined two weeks salary for getting sent off.



But even without the red card he'd miss the next two weeks anyways due to a tweaked knee.



Perhaps I'm expecting too much of Thiago, but I don't care. He needs to get back to his old ways and quick.



USMNT duties pop up for the first time since last fall. Here's a job I'm going to be foisting onto Paul Williams.



But I'll be taking command in the Gold Cup in an attempt to win a three-peat. A win will make us CONCACAF's representative in the 2029 Confederations Cup, a trophy I mean to make my own.

vs Chelsea, February 21, 2027
Premier League


A good win, and then a bad draw. That's not what I wanted to see coming off our loss to Crystal Palace.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Zouaghi, Shirra, Pickee, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Moctezuma.

We play positive football from the outset, and it pays dividends when Stringel nutmegs a defender to get Mujkic the ball, with Mujkic scoring on a shot from a tight angle. Chelsea are looking dangerous on the counter, though, and forcing Minami to make good saves. They continue to threaten in the second half, while Thiago continues to scuffle.

Chelsea's counter-attack pulls them level in the 61st minute, but then they screw up quickly by giving away a penalty on a corner just four minutes later. Shirra may no longer be automatic, but he scores this time and restores our back the lead. Chelsea keep pressuring us for the rest of the match, and Minami has to play out of his mind to keep our awful defense from conceding another equalizer. We walk away with a two goal margin when Pickee nabs a goal in the third minute of stoppage time, but truth be told the scoreline flatters us greatly.

Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic




Wrexham 3-1 Chelsea

At West Ham United, February 24, 2027
Premier League


This is my one chance to rest some of the first team before the League Cup final against Arsenal. With our perfect season shot and gigantic lead on the table, I'm OK with running out a highly rotated squad.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Maloney, Bailey (c), Mercado, Allan, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Zouaghi, Pickee, Stringel, Moctezuma.

Two thirds of the way through the first half Thiago finally finds net in what seems like the first time in forever, then Allan scores two minutes later. Our offense makes it three goals in eight minutes with a Thiago free kick, and we waltz into the lockers with a giant lead. Throughout the second half Thiago guns for his hat trick. He can't nail it down, sending balls off the woodwork and just wide on more than one occasion.

Man of the Match: Thiago




West Ham 0-3 Wrexham

vs Arsenal, February 28, 2027
League Cup, Final


If we can't go undefeated we can at least win every damned trophy available. The games are coming thick and fast right now, with little time to do more than rest and study for the next match.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Tounkara, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Pickee, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Mercado.

First blood comes on what amounts to the soccer version of an off the backboard alley-oop. On a sixth minute corner Thiago smashes a free header at the near post off the crossbar, where it bounces out to a wide open Dramane Tounkara at the far post. A simple finish later and it's one-nil. From there we seize control of the match and stifle the Gunners.

We can't add to our lead, though, with our best chance coming when Mujkic tries to chip the keeper in the 66th minute. The keeper is only able to tip it high into the air, and it looks like it will fall into the net for our second goal, when centerback Miguel Bautista comes flying out of nowhere to clear it off the line. Mujkic has another one on one with the keeper ten minutes later, but once again can't beat the last man. It matters not, our defense is sublime all game and when the whistle blows we've added to our burgeoning collection.

Man of the Match: Dramane Tounkara




Wrexham 1-0 Arsenal



It may not be the finest prize in the land, but it's still one that most clubs would be happy to add to their collection.



That's the mini-treble, but we've still got all three major trophies to lock down.



Maybe he hasn't been struggling as much as I thought?

At Everton, March 3, 2027
Premier League


Another fairly easy match against an Everton squad that's having a dismal year, mired in 18th, which allows us to be fully in shape for our trip to Old Trafford. I have to admit that losing to Palace has made it a lot easier for me to rotate the squad, we've got such a huge lead in the league that we can afford a few losses or draws.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Zouaghi, Bailey (c), Mercado, Allan, Damgaard, Moctezuma.
Subs: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Maloney, Shirra, Pickee, Thiago.

Moctezuma picks up a lingering ding in a challenge, and Everton strikes first all within the first 3 minutes. Mercado pulls us back to even by the 15th minute on a rebound, then adds a second a few minutes later. We never fall behind, although Everton will rue missing their opportunities for an equalizer.

Man of the Match: Matias Mercado




Everton 1-2 Wrexham



Steve Walsh is a schmuck who fails upwards. Since he got League One side Carlisle relegated during his first head coaching job back in 2014 he's held 15 managerial positions and never spent more than a year and a half at any of them. How he keeps getting a job is beyond me, it would be far wiser for teams considering him to just pick a good assistant manager from a well run team and see if they can step into the main role.



He won't be fit enough to start the United match, unfortunately, but at least we're healthy again with the exception of Ünsal.

at Manchester United, March 6, 2027
FA Cup, Quarterfinal


Manchester United have dragged themselves all the way up to 2nd place on the table, but they have no chance of catching us. They do have a very real opportunity to deny us a third FA Cup, though, and we'll need a win at Old Trafford to get by them. A draw would also work, as it would set up a replay at the Racecourse at the expense of even more fitness congestion madness.



This is one of the few clubs in the world that field a team that matches us on talent. Their only “weak link” is Wayne Hurst, a very good right fullback who we had on loan during our first season in the Premier League- and he's still nearly as good as Tonci Cirjak.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Laux, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Pickee.

Thiago gets a look at the goal on a free kick early, but Kovacevic is able to get the tips of his fingers onto the blast and push it up and into the crossbar. Kovacevic then does battle with Thiago again, just beating our man to a lofted Mujkic cross. United's striker Gregorio catches us out to give them the lead in the 14th minute, but then Liad Eliav, United's big winter signing, makes a big mistake in the 20th minute with a blatant foul on Shahed Parr that earns him a yellow card and us a penalty shot.

That's when it all goes wrong. Shirra isn't automatic anymore, and Kovacevic stonewalls the penalty. Then United get another goal in the first half, and it's desperation time early for the visiting side. Despite 59% possession we're down two goals.

There's no comeback to be had in the second half, either, as Zak Tate scores a third goal for the Red Devils. When we finally manage to put the ball in the back of the net it's with the referee's flag raised, and doesn't count. It wouldn't have helped anyways. There will be no triple this year, and the Manchester faithful will savor our capitulation for some time.




Man United 3-0 Wrexham




I'm just as angry as you are, folks. And action is being taken.



They've not only gotten the riot act.




The worst offenders have been duly punished.




From our porous defense.




To our strikers.




To even The Golden Boy.



This is the second update in a row that ends with me in a rage against our players. I don't like the feeling. The league is well under control, we're an astonishing 12 points up over United with two games in hand, but we could quickly be out of the running for the Champions League if we can't beat Valencia in three days. That would be a hell of a thing, to go from being literally invincible for six months to throwing away two trophies over four days.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
Ouch. Could this be a result of fixture congestion wearing out the players, perhaps?

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

As long as you can tie Bob Paisley and AU-Moyes' CL record at 3 wins this is still a good season.

jerman999
Apr 26, 2006

This is a lex imperfecta
Might be because I'm on mobile, but you have a couple screenshots mixed up in there. Too bad about the cup but onward!

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

jerman999 posted:

Might be because I'm on mobile, but you have a couple screenshots mixed up in there. Too bad about the cup but onward!

Which ones? I didn't spot them on a quick pass, but I could easily be blind to it.

Brony Hunter posted:

Ouch. Could this be a result of fixture congestion wearing out the players, perhaps?

Probably more like regression to the mean. The Crystal Palace game was a bit of a hard luck outcome, we could have expected a draw, while the Man U match was going into the home of one of the best teams in the world. I dunno that we'd even have really noticed if we hadn't gone so long without losing.

jerman999
Apr 26, 2006

This is a lex imperfecta
Nevermind, looks fine on desktop.

Smoky Bandana
Oct 1, 2009

You can trip on my synthesizer.

Brony Hunter posted:

Anyone else want to see Grwn somehow running for Prime Minister or something ridiculous by the end of the LP?

I like to think that a man known as Dragontamer has what it takes to make it in politics, sounds like just the man to run the exchequer.

KDavisJr
Jul 17, 2010

A real avatar never dies, even when it's replaced!

Brony Hunter posted:

Ouch. Could this be a result of fixture congestion wearing out the players, perhaps?

TBH I'd agree, but there are points where they just are under performing, and fatigue isn't a good reason why.

Though there have been players injured, and Thiago was playing alot even when others were resting.

Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)
It is the famed Football Manager Mid-Season Slump. But yes, a lot of it is probably fixture congestion and overconfidence finally smacking us.

Xtanstic
Nov 23, 2007

How does Noel Tosh keep getting jobs despite subpar averages? Something about his stats?

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Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)
If there is a bullshitting stat he certainly has a 20. Otherwise he probably has a high reputation.

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