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Lifehack: Kill your neighbours so their crops wither and die and use they bodies and blood as fertiliser for your own crops! Plus you won't have any competitors on the market! Your neighbours will hate this simple trick!
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Jun 3, 2015 18:16
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 06:00 |
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Episode LI: This is a Story About Imperfections.jpg) Verse 2: Flying Soldiers Music: Nethernox We immediately jump into our next destination at The Shrine of Sands. Forget about keeping track of dates from here on out. They sort of forgot about that having been a thing in the early DLC chapters. .jpg) We are now tasked with cleaning out this dump from more of Three's failed monster experiments. Why Two and Cent aren't doing this themselves, when they actually live here, is a bit of a mystery. Perhaps Three coming over to her sisters' pads and forgetting she brought a bunch of modified crimes against nature along with her before wandering off is a regular occurrence. The rest of the Intoners are just fed up with their houses being infested with monsters every time Three comes over for dinner. So she now needs to get her rear end over and clean it up herself this time. They were planning a monster experimentation intervention for Three, but then that whole nasty Zero business transpired and welp... .jpg)  I must say, these battles are quite exhausting. I haven't been this flaccid in ages! ...Can I cut it off? N-No! It's fine! I'll be back at attention in no time! Now come! We have imps to dispatch!.jpg) .jpg) .jpg) Indeed we do have imps to slay. But first, to really add a bit of filler, The Shrine of Sands has been retrofitted with some floating platforms and a switch to unlock the boss fight arena atop the highest pillar in the room. Yes, bad piece of DLC... Drakengard 3 platforming. THAT is the ticket to success! .jpg) Anyway, down we go to the ultimate fate of every mission of Three's Prologue... Music: Corroscience - Armisael .jpg) ...another wave based combat gauntlet! And this one loving suuuuuuuucks. I believe I made my position clear on Drakengard 3's imps earlier insofar as being the most annoying enemy in the game. Needless to say, fifteen minutes straight of fighting the flighty bastards is less than an ideal time waster. .jpg) <speaking double speed> Imps can fly, you know. Way up high. High in the sky. Sky-high! I felt my forces needed an aerial component, you see. But calculating turbulence and drag and all that is tricky. I went through a lot of failures. It's hard to do sky-high. Weeeell, I can certainly see why, my lady. Mathematics are not my strong suit either. Of course, I don't have any strong suits outside of the bed quarters, so....jpg) This first wave's quartet of imps are a decent bit larger than normal and hit a touch harder. Beyond that, they're standard imps. In reality, the added size makes them easier to deal with than normal imps just by virtue of being able to hit the buggers' larger models when they fly "sky-high". Note: Three's DLC continues to be hella rude using boss battle music we haven't gotten to yet. Three, I'm not doing your crappy DLC at the tail end of Branch D to accommodate your wave round musical choices. Here's some more DLC battle music instead: New Music: Seere's Prayer - Battle Version DLC .jpg) While the first round was nothing special, now we start getting to the real irritating bits of this mission. .jpg) An experiment in miniaturization, you could say. And how did this experiment turn out? <speaking double speed> Well, they move quickly, but their durability is lacking. Very cute, but very weak. Cuteness is the best thing a doll can have, but weakness is the worst thing a soldier can have, you know? It was a bold experiment--mixing the best of the best with the worst of the worst to open up new horizons in military science. ...Ah, right. A failure, then..jpg) Opposing how the larger variety of imps made them less of a hassle, their tinier counterparts are an aggravating mess. They hit just as hard as standard imps but move at double the speed, have a miniscule hitbox, and their color scheme is identical to the background so they blend right in until diving right up Three's grill. The only upside is that there are only six of 'em to deal with here. .jpg) Well that was annoying, what say we double down on bullshit, eh? This round is the worst of the entire DLC chapter. By a long shot. .jpg) <double speed> Yes. But they're a lot less durable than the previous set. Oh? That's disappointing. <double speed> I tried to create lots and lots of them, but, well, it's like the camel's hump, you know? ...The wha? <double speed> The camel's hump! Big numbers don't cover weakness! Heh... I see. Your analogies are as difficult to understand as ever..jpg) So why does this round suck so badly? It'll tell you: Sixteen imps. All itty-bitty and blending right into the background even worse thanks to their size. All moving at at least double speed of normal imps. And their only attack is divebombing Three constantly. This strain of imps all go down in one or two hits. But it's still dealing with sixteen things charging from every direction with no rhyme or reason. It's like fighting an arena full of Castlevania's Medusa Heads. Ain't a great scene and not remotely fun to play. .jpg) .jpg) If there was ever a time to pop off Intoner mode during this mission, it's right now. It's very useful by sheer virtue of Three's Intoner mode swipes automatically lunging at the nearest target. Having a huge reach against the mini-imps baby size hitboxes helps considerably as well. Small thanks this arena is so wide open and devoid of walls. This could have been an even worse scene to deal with were it in, say, the Cathedral arena. Severl squished miniature imps later... .jpg) But I need to have a discussion with you about our nightly escapades. You mean ***? Er, yes. I feel that dark clouds have gathered over a relationship that once boasted great quality and quantity. ...Especially quantity. It can't be helped. I got bored. Oh, good heavens! Is that truly how you feel about me, my lady? After all the lustful peaks we've scaled? The cargo we've stowed? The culverts we've sluiced? Yes. I don't hate it or anything. I just don't care if we do it or not..jpg) Once the onslaught of bite-sized imps are banished from this world, we at last arrive at the final round. Which proves to be far easier than the preliminary match. .jpg) They certainly are overwhelming! <double speed> Indeed, but they're slow. Too slow. A fatal weakness. I can't seem to get size, strength and speed together in one package. You can't always have everything, I suppose. It's often difficult to find length, girth, and endurance in one package as well! Making soldiers is difficult. That's probably why I keep on trying..jpg) The final two imps are massive, have a brick shithouse worth of HP, and possess beefy hits. But their animations have been slowed down to half speed. Additionally, the imp divebomb attack (by far the biggest pain in the rear end in their moveset) has been disabled. So this duo can only shoot very slow moving fireballs and lazily attempt to poke Three with their spears. .jpg) All this makes for probably the easiest round to complete overall. I wish all imps were oversized chumps mired in molasses like this last lot. Or better yet, I wish I never saw a goddamn imp in Drakengard 3 ever again! That's be great too. .jpg) Oh? I like them..jpg) .jpg) And that brings us to the half-way point of Three's Prologue chapter. Tune in next time where we do the same goddamn thing again but with cerberuses! But to end on a positive note, Gabriella does come back next mission and hates this DLC too. So at least that'll be fun.   Video: Three's Prologue Verse 2 Highlight Reel  Imp Concept Art The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Jun 4, 2015 |
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Jun 3, 2015 18:26
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Never would have guessed the imps were female
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Jun 3, 2015 19:33
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The Dark Id posted:
I get the feeling Octa and Three have different definitions of "camel's hump"  quote:
Ah there it is, the real reason Octa voluntarily joined Zero. And I suppose also the whole trying to cut things off thing.
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Jun 3, 2015 19:55
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BattleCattle posted:Reminder that Spain does not exist at this time. It will not appear for another half century. Imperial records, and proto-spanish
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Jun 3, 2015 20:09
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Are those imps wearing Zero's clothes?scorpiobean posted:Ah there it is, the real reason Octa voluntarily joined Zero. And I suppose also the whole trying to cut things off thing. Did he not say so at the time?
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Jun 3, 2015 20:56
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Dabir posted:Are those imps wearing Zero's clothes? He probably did and I just forgot since it's probably unhealthy to store too much Drakengard in the brain. And I also thought it looked like the imps were wearing Zero's clothes but I was too lazy to go back and check.
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Jun 3, 2015 21:14
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Probably not too fond of the whole Dr. Frankenstein act, as well.
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Jun 3, 2015 21:21
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Cthulhuchan posted:Probably not too fond of the whole Dr. Frankenstein act, as well. He gave both as his reason's for leaving.
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Jun 3, 2015 21:37
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Do the weird sized/sped up monster show up in the main game or is it just the DLC?
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Jun 3, 2015 22:22
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Nohman posted:Do the weird sized/sped up monster show up in the main game or is it just the DLC? I played through the main game. This is new to me.
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Jun 3, 2015 23:30
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HardDisk posted:Lifehack: Kill your neighbours so their crops wither and die and use they bodies and blood as fertiliser for your own crops! Plus you won't have any competitors on the market! Your neighbours will hate this simple trick! Naw man, this is Drakengard, you'll get zombie carrots.
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Jun 3, 2015 23:34
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Keldoclock posted:Naw man, this is Drakengard, you'll get zombie carrots. Or maybe like... vampire carrots.  I'm not sure what the Drakengard/Dragon Quest crossover would bring besides abject terror, but I kinda want to see it now.
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Jun 4, 2015 00:20
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CmdrKing posted:Or maybe like... vampire carrots. Metal Slimes would still be annoying, though.
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Jun 4, 2015 00:48
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The drakengard metal slime would kill your combo meter in one hit and would haste themselves to become untouchable before disappearing. And then leave a bomb in your face. And it's the only real source of exp in the game.
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Jun 4, 2015 02:22
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CmdrKing posted:Or maybe like... vampire carrots. 
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Jun 4, 2015 02:28
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I'm so glad I wasn't the only person who thought of that. Also, I genuinely thank the goon that made that Willygard video.
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Jun 4, 2015 03:11
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The Dark Id posted:Video: Two's Prologue Verse 2 Highlight Reel[/url] This should be Three's Prologue.
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Jun 4, 2015 03:32
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The Dark Id posted:and forgetting a brought a bunch of modified Guessing that should be "she brought"
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Jun 4, 2015 04:04
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Whoever it was in the thread that said Todd Haberkorn is Rowen in Tales of Xillia as well as Octa in here...now I can't get the image of a kindly old man flaunting his sexual prowess out of my head when I see him! Especially when one of your party members happens to be very stacked!
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Jun 4, 2015 06:35
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That imp art reminds me of Painwheel from Skullgirls. It's a combination of the face and dress, I guess. EDIT: And every time Octa speaks all I see is Rowen acting really weird.
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Jun 4, 2015 07:08
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Why does Kuvo pronounce Halberd(hal-bird) different than me? Plus it's called a glaive, and it's a pole-arm either way. 
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Jun 4, 2015 07:53
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What I took away from Three and Octa talking about sex is that despite being well endowed and loving a good shag, Octa's not actually very good at it and only has his big guy going for him.
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Jun 4, 2015 11:04
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Aurain posted:What I took away from Three and Octa talking about sex is that despite being well endowed and loving a good shag, Octa's not actually very good at it and only has his big guy going for him. Or maybe Three is just a cold fish in bed.
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Jun 4, 2015 14:27
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Aurain posted:What I took away from Three and Octa talking about sex is that despite being well endowed and loving a good shag, Octa's not actually very good at it and only has his big guy going for him. You could eat a meal even the Wonder Chef cooked, but if you didn't really like eating very much you still wouldn't call him a lovely chef.
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Jun 4, 2015 14:31
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I probably would, tbth.
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Jun 4, 2015 14:34
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Annointed posted:Or maybe Three is just a cold fish in bed. No, according to Octa she's very good at sex; she's just bored with it now and that's really all there is to it.
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Jun 4, 2015 14:57
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So how come Intoner magic doesn't turn disciples into abominations or otherwise break their tiny bird brains?
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Jun 4, 2015 15:03
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Zoe posted:So how come Intoner magic doesn't turn disciples into abominations or otherwise break their tiny bird brains? Seems that Intoners can't summon stuff that easily based available evidence. Guess Disciples are just naturally immune to the side effects since they're designed to channel the stuff.
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Jun 4, 2015 15:07
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Zoe posted:So how come Intoner magic doesn't turn disciples into abominations or otherwise break their tiny bird brains? idk starting from the baseline of "a bird," turning into a human is some pretty drastic mutation.
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Jun 4, 2015 15:25
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Zoe posted:So how come Intoner magic doesn't turn disciples into abominations or otherwise break their tiny bird brains? Intoners are probably far more capable with their magic than their Disciples are. Three's seemed to be actively tinkering with creatures rather than just a straight transformation.
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Jun 4, 2015 15:47
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Zoe posted:So how come Intoner magic doesn't turn disciples into abominations or otherwise break their tiny bird brains? It did:they went from ordinary birds to murderous perverted apes. One is a sadist, another one of them is a masochist, the third one wants to gently caress blackholes, and the fourth one is Cent. It completely changed their bodies and left them insane. Space Cadet Omoly fucked around with this message at 17:06 on Jun 4, 2015 |
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Jun 4, 2015 16:05
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Octa isn't bad at sex, Three is just really absorbed in her work. I'm pretty sure that's one of the only things she thinks about, besides "Try not to die when Zero's around."
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Jun 4, 2015 16:12
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Also I think Two was the only one whose song got too powerful for 'sane' purposes due to her ever-increasing strength
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Jun 4, 2015 16:14
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DeafNote posted:Also I think Two was the only one whose song got too powerful for 'sane' purposes due to her ever-increasing strength Her catatonia was caused less by her accelerated growth, and more that, in her despair, she tried to reject the song's power outright. That would be a mighty big strain on the brain. Everything else is Cent's fault. By the way, gently caress Cent.
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Jun 4, 2015 16:21
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Well someone has to now that Two's a vegetable.
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Jun 4, 2015 17:11
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AndwhatIseeisme posted:Well someone has to now that Two's a vegetable. Well, Zero did say she takes her sisters men... I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
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Jun 4, 2015 18:58
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Take us to a new page and I will have a new update in a short bit. .jpg)
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Jun 4, 2015 20:24
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The Dark Id posted:Take us to a new page and I will have a new update in a short bit. I love you Gabriella. You say what we all feel about Drakengard's crap.
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Jun 4, 2015 20:27
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 06:00 |
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I love that all of the Dragon-Human relationships we have in this series are all completely different. Gabriella is a much better black dragon than Legna though.
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Jun 4, 2015 20:32
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