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Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


Yeah you're just describing about 75% of America except the rent is $3 a month instead of $700

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Snipee
Mar 27, 2010

RabidWeasel posted:

IIRC Kerala has one of the best quality of life ratings adjusted for GDP of anywhere in the world

I have actually traveled in Kerala for a little less than two weeks, and while it’s definitely nicer than most parts of India, I think the phrase “adjusted for GDP” can be misleading. The infrastructure between the more populated areas is just as bad as every other desperately poor region of the world. I so very much appreciated the improvement in air quality after spending most of that month in northern India though.

skipThings
May 21, 2007

Tell me more about this
"Wireless fun-adaptor" you were speaking of.

Cerebral Bore posted:

Tbf, this sounds like most everywhere else except the rent seems cheaper.

except the landlords here are rich as gently caress

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
So just like everywhere else then

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

really interesting random discussion, thanks for the knowledgeposts. the part about west bengal's communist party leadership losing touch with its ostensible constituency was interesting

also its really cool that someone who's actually been to kerala is here

also, i didnt mean to imply the whole place is a beach resort and in fact for all i know that screenshot is basically a cancun type place that's really more colonialist than anything else!! but it does look nice, doesn't it? and i was joking about hanging with naxalites but i bet there are revolutionary maoists reading this who shook their heads sadly when they read that

in the end, the apparent fact that an ostensibly communist party has been successfully governing 33 million people (yeah there's 33 million loving people in kerala, 91 million in west bengal fwiw) out there in reality, even if they're still third world and they aren't fully automated luxury gay space meme and im sure theres plenty of compromises and dirty politics and poo poo, is kind of :unsmith: to me. still dunno any details tho, obviously

oystertoadfish fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Dec 11, 2018

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

oystertoadfish posted:

really interesting random discussion, thanks for the knowledgeposts. the part about west bengal's communist party leadership losing touch with its ostensible constituency was interesting

also its really cool that someone who's actually been to kerala is here

also, i didnt mean to imply the whole place is a beach resort and in fact for all i know that screenshot is basically a cancun type place that's really more colonialist than anything else!! but it does look nice, doesn't it? and i was joking about hanging with naxalites but i bet there are revolutionary maoists reading this who shook their heads sadly when they read that

in the end, the apparent fact that an ostensibly communist party has been successfully governing 33 million people (yeah there's 33 million loving people in kerala, 91 million in west bengal fwiw) out there in reality, even if they're still third world and they aren't fully automated luxury gay space meme and im sure theres plenty of compromises and dirty politics and poo poo, is kind of :unsmith: to me. still dunno any details tho, obviously

The Kerala model of development is so well-known it has its own Wiki page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerala_model

The thing that's impressive about Kerala is that it has a lot of HDI indicators similar to developed countries, without having a GDP per capita that's significantly higher than the rest of India. I know some people have even suggested that the Kerala model could be one path to a more sustainable lifestyle for much of the rest of the world, because it can achieve close-to-developed-country standards of living without requiring enormous economic growth (and thus unsustainable environmental practices).

SC Bracer
Aug 7, 2012

DEMAGLIO!
Fwiw a lot of money in Kerala comes from people not living in Kerala. Dubai for example has a massive community of Malayali expats sending money back to the state because there aren't nearly that many as good opportunities for people living there. It's a wonderful state but like that article notes there is a huge economic and brain drain due to this lack of opportunity which I guess applied to a national instead of state level would be far more damning.

RA Rx3
Dec 13, 2018

SC Bracer posted:

My family is from West Bengal, and I've lived in Kolkata for a few years.

The communist party here essentially killed all industry in the state while implementing a bunch of laws that sound great in practice but but in reality led to situations like people permanently living in rented places paying Rs. 10-200 (in today's money that is 1/7th of a dollar to about $3) a month, which means that there's no money for landlords to maintain the properties. Keep in mind that these landlords aren't necessarily wealthy themselves, but happen to own old properties that haven't been done up since the 70s.

The additional issue here is that they also don't want to buy the properties from said landlords because who would want to deal with 2018 property taxes? Keep in mind that rent in Kolkata in a reasonably good area is about Rs. 6000 ($85--still cheap since a similar location in Mumbai would be about $250-300). Younger people are all trying to leave the state because there just aren't good jobs anymore, but it's a great place to live if you're retired since the cost of living is incredibly low for a metro in India!

Basically yes West Bengal is considered an incredible fuckup and people preferred the actually crazy lady currently in power here over the steady decline that has been in place since the late 70s when jobs moved away from Kolkata towards Mumbai and Delhi, and now Bangalore and Hyderabad from when the Communists were in power. They're really seen as more of a party associated with the intellectual elite in Kolkata than a true worker's party (everyone I know involved with the CPM including officials are also more or less of this mold), and the overall effect of their reign is perceived as inextricably linked with the decline of the city, especially since they weren't able to jump on the train that Mumbai and Delhi did during the liberalization in the early 90s.

FWIW I lean left myself but West Bengal's communists did not do a good job here.

Kerala is much better governed than what happened on this side but in general most of the media up North doesn't pay much attention to what goes on down South so if you're not living there it's hard to get a real handle on the region.

e: also the Naxalites are uh militant communists so I'm not sure you'd want to hang out with them either. Fwiw I know people who were posted in very rural areas for work and have actually been in danger of being killed by them.

What an informative and useful first-hand account-

Crazycryodude posted:

Yeah you're just describing about 75% of America except the rent is $3 a month instead of $700

Goons... Goons never change.

---

This index is just OECD countries, but it's got both housing affordability and some quality indicators: http://www.oecdbetterlifeindex.org/topics/housing/

This report is pretty popular: http://www.demographia.com/dhi.pdf

Great global overview of housing macros from another high quality source, but low on subnational and income class details:
https://www.imf.org/external/research/housing/

Simple, but informative:
https://infographics.economist.com/2017/HPI/index.html

A general article on the international housing crisis in both the developed and developing world:
https://www.citylab.com/equity/2018/04/the-global-housing-crisis/557639/

I suppose any of these could be declared haram, counter-revolutionary sources in favor of digging one's head into the sand and suggesting a false equivalence between $3 housing in Kerala and $700 US housing.

---

Nonsense aside, the Kerala model's remittances-based economy has a very high HDI relative to income and emissions, and bears particular interest as a case study in both beneficial and harmful policies.

RA Rx3 fucked around with this message at 10:53 on Dec 13, 2018

Agean90
Jun 28, 2008


imagine getting so mad at a poo poo post that you start posting citations lmao

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

Agean90 posted:

imagine getting so mad at a poo poo post that you start posting citations lmao

My life on Facebook :sigh:

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010


Fun Shoe
Look, all I'm saying is that your average landlord is an absolute scumfuck, and let's not even get into how the bad ones operate.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Agean90 posted:

imagine getting so mad at a poo poo post that you start posting citations lmao

And from an alt account for some reason.

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
REMOVE HORS D'ŒUVRE remove d'œuvre you are worst frank. you are the frank idiot you are the frank smell. return to frangleterre. to our franglerrian cousins you my come our contry you may live in zoo....ahhahaha ,russia we will never forgeve you. SGA rascal gently caress but gently caress rear end in a top hat frank stink frangleterre double monarchie double monarchie...frank ggenocide best day of life. take a bath of dead frangleterre...ahahahah FRANGLETERRE WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget great war. we kill majils...russia return to your precious rurikid...hahah idiot frank and russian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE HORS D'ŒUVRE FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught andalus+serbia+palermo=kill frangleterre..you will ww2/tupac alive in qadiz, tupac making album of qadiz. fast rap tupac qadiz. we are rich and have gold now hahaha ha because of tupac...you are ppoor stink frank..you live in a hovel hahah you live in a chateau

Oblique Angle
Feb 11, 2011

God or the devil? Why not surpass them both?!
same, really

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
Really? Same

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

i think citations are Good

i wil read those ones for example

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!
Chapter 21 - The Great War - 1916 to 1917


Europe had been at peace for a quarter of a century — a fragile peace, admittedly, with those twenty-five years dominated by arms races and diplomatic jostling and scrambles for power, but it was still a respite from the devastating wars and ruinous conflicts that had raged across the continent in previous decades, including the Continental War, the Rhine Crisis, the Iberian War and Unionist War and Tirruni Wars. It was a hard-won peace, a deserving peace, and at the height of the summer of 1916, that peace finally came to an end.

And the beginning of the end, of course, came with the proclamation of the Iberian Union.



Civil war had swept large parts of the Iberian peninsula into two years of fractious fighting and violent revolution, but a broad alliance of communists, socialists and radical liberals had emerged from that civil war victorious, with Sultan Khuzaymah Zulfiqar and his Majlisi puppeteers all garrotted in a series of gruesome public executions.



That would not be the end of the fighting, however, with the leader of the revolution — Maz Mazin — turning around and declaring himself the “Supreme Leader” of the Iberian Union, in direct violation of his alliance with the socialists and liberals, who promptly banded together against him.

So the summer of 1917 began with Maz Mazin embarking on a campaign to restore order all across Iberia, marching his 20,000 veteran troops from city to city, suppressing dissent and crushing opposition wherever they were found, with tens of thousands of “traitors to the revolution” garrotted in the weeks and months that followed.



This short and bloody campaign culminated in a vicious battle in the capital of Al Andalus and the Iberian Union — Qadis. There, in the very same streets and thoroughfares where dozens of royalty and viziers were garrotted just weeks before, former allies turned their guns on each other and battled for control of the city.



Of course, the largest and most disciplined force in Iberia at the time was the Red Army, the right hand of the revolution. So despite their numerical inferiority, the communists prevailed over the moderate and liberal elements in the government, seizing the economic and political centres of Qadis before cornering, surrounding and executing the last vestiges of any resistance.

And with that, the Iberian Revolution finally came to an end.



Or so they thought.



Whilst brother turned on brother in Al Andalus, Idris Tirruni had been negotiating with representatives from Morocco, Russia and the Dual Monarchy in his well-fortified capital of Barshaluna. There, the four powers drew up an agreement in which they would launch an invasion of Iberia, topple the radical government, and install Tirruni as the restored Sultan of Al Andalus. And with civil war having wrought disaster and devastation across Iberia for the past two years, this campaign was certain to be short and decisive.

When ministers in Paris, Smolensk and Marrakesh declared their intention to “restore order and stability in Al Andalus”, however, the other Great Powers didn’t just stand by.



The Republic of Germany immediately denounced these attempts to dominate Al Andalus, and threatened both Russia and France with war if they didn’t back down. The Congressional Coalition refused to concede defeat, however, and the crisis only escalated from there…

On 2 August, Maz Mazin declared the end of the Iberian Revolution. On 5 August, Paris issued an order for partial mobilisation, quickly followed by Morocco and Russia. Germany countered by ordering a full mobilisation on 6 August, whilst the Republic of Provence and Kingdom of New England did the same on 8 August, honouring their alliances with France. The United Republic was last to join the fray, declaring their support for Germany and Iberia on 9 August, followed by their own complete mobilisation.



And with that, in the early morning hours of the 10th of August of 1917, the Great War finally began.



In Iberia, a series of rebellions and revolts immediately erupted in the days that followed, with liberals and socialists and moderates all assuming that the French and Moroccans were coming to topple the dictator and save them.





The Supreme Leader didn’t have the time or resources to squander on these rebellions, however. The strength of the Red Army had dwindled towards the end of the civil war, and they needed to fill their ranks with fresh bodies as quickly as possible, so Maz Mazin issued an order for the mobilisation of every man and boy they could get their hands on, every worker and labourer who could hold a gun, every herder and farmhand who could take a bullet.



The revolutionaries wouldn’t have long to prepare, however. Whilst they had been desperately grappling for dominance in the peninsula, their enemies had been drawing up meticulous plans and offensives, debating the strengths and weaknesses of older strategies, even negotiating the partition and division of the Andalusi Empire.

So the first duels between the two alliances erupted just hours after war was declared, with the navy of New England audaciously sweeping into Iberian waters, crushing a numerically-inferior Celtic fleet, and landing an expeditionary force in Shant Yakub.



And a scant few days later, the first of many armies crossed the Pyrenees, with almost 70,000 Frenchmen besieging the string of fortresses that made up the Pyrenaic Wall, an impressive series of concrete fortifications, weapons installations and ammunition dumps that stretched across the width of the French-Andalusi border.



The Pyrenaic Wall would hinder the enemy advance for a few months, at the very least, whilst Maz Mazin desperately recruited an army capable of challenging them.

The French were only one of many enemies that surrounded Iberia, however, and the Supreme Leader was forced to divert his attentions and resources to the south — where the vengeful Sultanate of Morocco prepared for offensives of their own.



Fortunately for the revolutionaries, however, they wouldn’t have to sacrifice too many bodies to the southern front, not when they had a formidable navy of their own.

The Andalusi Navy had been entirely dominated by loyalists at the outbreak of the civil war, with warships shelling the coastal cities of northern Iberia on a regular basis. But with the victory of the communist revolution, large parts of the admiralty surrendered to Maz Mazin, begging for mercy… the Supreme Leader wasn’t known for his mercy, however, and those same admirals were promptly garrotted.



With true-bred radicals now dominating the command, the rest of the fleet quickly fell in line, with Maz Mazin rebranding it as the “Red Navy”. A series of naval training and tactical exercises were scheduled to turn these green seamen into seasoned admirals, but before they could begin, the continent had already plunged into war.

The Supreme Leader immediately deployed the navy to secure the straits, where they quickly butted heads with a small reconnaissance force dispatched by the Almoravids.



The Red Fleet engaged the numerically-inferior force, expecting a short but decisive skirmish, only for another fifty warships — the entire strength of the Provencal Navy — to flood into the straits in the hours that followed, transforming the skirmish into a full-fledged battle.



Fortunately, the Provencal navy wasn’t all that impressive, comprising mostly of older ironclads and obsolete monitors. And so the Red Navy, ill-trained and ill-staffed as it was, still managed to seize an inspiring victory in the battle of the Straits, sinking and capturing the vast majority of enemy shipping, and seizing control of the key waterway for the time being.



At the same time, battles had erupted in theatres of war that stretched all across Europe, from the arid south and rainy north to the muddy west and freezing east.

Starting in the north, the fighting that raged across the island of Britain was inconclusive so far, with Celtic gains in Wales offset by their losses in northeast England. Despite that, there was little hope of the United Republic actually emerging victorious in this struggle, with their 200,000-strong army having already lost a series of engagements to the 180,000-strong French-English expeditionary force.



The Franco-German theatre, on the other hand, had witnessed the surrender and capture of dozens of cities and vast swathes of farmland over the past few weeks, with the Germans executing a meticulously-prepared warplan that saw 180,000 Germans engage and immobilise 120,000 Frenchmen along the northern half of their border, whilst another 150,000 Germans shattered through the southern defenses and poured into Lorraine, Provence and Occitania.



Astonishing progress thus far, and that wasn’t even the entire strength of the German Army, with another 100,000 soldiers dedicated to the eastern front, where Germans and Russians had clashed in a series of indecisive battles. The key to any victory in the east lay in the Vienna Corridor, with the German-Russian border located in this narrow pocket of land, making it the site of countless battles in the months that followed.



Even if the Germans couldn’t capture the Vienna Corridor, simply holding the Russians there would be enough, allowing their armies on the western front to storm across France and Provence with ease.

The high command in Paris obviously realised that much, because they pulled back their invasion of Iberia in October of 1917, leaving a few thousand soldiers to garrison and guard their hard-won seizures along the Pyrenaic Wall.



Just three months into the war, and the odds were gradually sliding in favour of the Revolutionary Bloc — as the press had dubbed the makeshift alliance between Iberia, Germany and Celtica.

Emboldened by the recent string of allied victories and enemy withdrawals, Maz Mazin finally felt confident enough to actually engage his foes on the battlefield. The mass conscription implemented in recent months had allowed the Red Army to balloon in size, with 60,000 revolutionaries marching on the New English troops besieging Lishbuna, where they scored their first victory against the invaders.




There were another 12,000 troops besieging Shant Yakub, so Maz Mazin immediately ordered his officers to march on their positions, with the subsequent battle ending in another morale-raising victory for the Iberians.




These victories were tempered by decisive defeats in the colonies, however, although the government in Qadis couldn’t exactly enforce their rule in their African and Indian possessions by 1917. Nonetheless, thousands of Berber troops surged across the Land Corridor of Central Africa from the very moment that war had erupted, overwhelming their sparse opposition and seizing vast tracts of Kilwa, Zambezi and Mozambique in the months that followed.



And the same happened in the remnants of the Andalusi Raj, with almost 50,000 Indian conscripts surging into the Bengal Delta in late August, and squashing the last pockets of resistance by year’s end.



Apparently, when Maz Mazin was informed of these losses, he simply scoffed and asked for a report on the Pyrenaic front. The Supreme Leader evidently didn’t place much stock in his colonies, but the same could not be said for his allies in Germany, with dozens of imperialist politicians in the reichstag in uproar over their meek surrender of Libya.



It was only in the dying days of 1917 that they could retaliate, however, when a decisive breakthrough on the western front opened up Provence to German troops. With thousands of Germans flooding through the rugged mountains and gaping valleys of Occitania, some 35,000 soldiers were dispatched on an expedition to North Africa, with the force rushing across of Iberia, crossing the straits and invading Morocco.



Perhaps the German command were expecting the Iberians to reinforce their invasion, but Maz Mazin couldn’t afford to gamble his troops on a foolhardy expedition, not over Libya, of all places.

That said, if anyone had troops to spare, then it was the Germans. By the early days of 1918, they had manage to reinforce their seizures in France and Occitania, with their occupied territories stretching from Verdun in the north to Marseille in the south. Four months into the war, and the French were firmly on the retreat.



A laudable feat, but the same couldn’t be said for the eastern front, where the sheer number of Russians matched the Germans tit-for-tat. The fighting was thicker and bloodier here, concentrated in the Vienna Corridor, which seemed to swap hands every few weeks.

By February of 1918, however, almost 100,000 Russians had managed to breach the German lines, besieging and capturing Vienna whilst another 70,000 pinned the better part of the German army in vicious battle around Kraków.



It was on these bloody fronts where international attention had been fixated thus far, but on the 28th of February, the eyes of the world swung southward — towards the Straits of Gibraltar, where the Almoravid Sultanate of Morocco had finally gone on the offensive.

The full strength of the Almoravid Navy swept into the narrow straits, determined to wrench it back from the Iberians in preparation of an amphibious landing, but Maz Mazin refused to surrender without a fight. And with that, the second battle of the Straits began.



And from the very beginning, it could only get worse. Steel battleships were the bread and butter of the Andalusi Navy, allowing Al Andalus to overwhelm the Almoravid Navy and seize mastery over the seas in the Continental War of 1886, but naval technologies had developed rapidly since those days. Now, whilst Iberian ironclads and battleships desperately fired torpedoes and shells, Morocco’s battlecruisers and dreadnoughts responded with overwhelming firepower and devastating projectiles.







The Iberians had lost the battle on that very morning, but these duels between destroyers and battleships and dreadnoughts would wreak havoc across the straits for almost three days, with the damaged and ruined warships of the Red Navy desperately retreating into safe harbours and ports, their enemy nipping at their heels.



By the 5th of March, the waters of the straits were calm and tepid once more, but with Berber warships patrolling and prowling them now. The Red Navy only just survived, with a miserable seven ships escaping the massacre, out of almost fifty ironclads and battleships that had once ruled the seas and oceans of the world.



Meanwhile, on the British front, a series of brilliantly-executed manoeuvres had slowed, then halted, then reversed the advance of the French-English armies. Despite significant losses in the Irish Sea, the influx of Irish troops was enough to turn the tide, with the armies of the United Republic besieging York, retaking large parts of Wales and pushing into England.



The western front, on the other hand, hadn’t really shifted or moved over the past few months. Apparently, the French retreat had ended a scant few miles from the front, where they began digging traversed trenches, fortifying their positions with artillery and barbed wire, and even mining the ground ahead of them in anticipation of the Germans. They would not surrender another inch of French soil, not under any circumstances and regardless of the cost.

And with that, trench warfare had well and truly begun.



The eastern front had only grown bloodier and more complicated in the meantime, with the high command in Hanover rerouting an army from the French front to repel the Russian advance from Vienna, whilst simultaneously trying and failing to defeat the Russian armies around Kraków, even crossing into neutral Bohemia in a futile attempt to outflank them.



At the same time, a large party of diplomats arrived in Qadis, ostensibly travelling under a neutral flag. This was the second time that a delegacy from Belgrade was dispatched to meet with Maz Mazin, but they weren’t received so graciously this time, especially when they brought up the reason for their visit — to demand that the communist party of Iberia submit to orthodox socialism, bow to the law of the International Presidium, and join forces with Serbia in permanent revolution.

All this, whilst Al Andalus was embroiled in its largest and deadliest conflict since the Tirruni Wars.



Of course, the demand was immediately refused and the delegacy was expelled, but Maz Mazin took it one step further. In a public broadcast that would make headlines across Europe, the Supreme Leader insisted that the international revolution would stem from Iberia, condemned the Serbian government as a corruption of socialism, and denounced their leaders as “capitalists in red masks”.

Needless to say, he wasn’t invited to attend the Second International, organised a few months later in Sofia.



The first few days of this grand conference of socialists and anarchists went through the usual ropes: reiterating traditionalist thought, insisting on extensive social reform, calling for world revolution and so on. Only after these debates and arguments and disputes come to a close did the Presidium, the ruling government of Serbia, finally take to the stands, where they unveiled their ambitions to unite the communist governments of the Balkan peninsula into a single federation — for the “furthering of permanent revolution”, as they put it.

The workers and labourers of Bulgaria and Greece were firmly in favour of such a federation, if the 99% approval plebiscites were of any indication.



And with that, just as winter gave way to spring, the Balkan Federation was born.



This proclamation would take the papers by storm, but just weeks later, the headlines were blaring something else entirely — the Battle for Iberia.

In the early days of April, once their dominance in the straits was assured, the Berbers finally began crossing the channel en masse. Within the week, a combined force of 158,000 Berber and Provencal troops were marching on Qadis, chasing the German expeditionary force northwards and quickly overcoming the sparse resistance in their way.



Of course, Maz Mazin had been preparing for just that, with his efforts only intensifying in the months following the crushing defeat in the second battle of the Straits. And by April of 1918, the Red Army stood at an impressive 110,000 soldiers, with every last man desperate to taste combat after almost a year of training and preparation.



Maz Mazin was initially cautious, but when the enemy divided their forces into two separate armies, his decision was made for him. The order was given, and the Red Army began marching on the Almoravid force.



The early hours of the battle were uncertain, with both sides probing for weaknesses and testing for frailties. This tenuity quickly gave way to thick fighting all along the front, with Andalusi and Berbers wrestling for the control of outlying villages and towns, strategically-placed to bombard and seize the capital itself. It was in these skirmishes where the Iberian seized the upper hand, gradually pushing their enemy back towards the straits.

These skirmishes were also where the Berbers suffered most of their casualties, gradually but intentionally retreating southward, pulling their enemy out of formation, and drawing them into a trap…



And just as they reached the outskirts of Qadis, the trap was sprung. Aeroplanes fitted with machine guns swept across the skies, artillery began to barrage Iberian positions from every direction, infantry units all along the front counter-attacked in force — and just as the order to advance was given, tens of thousands of shells containing tear gas, chlorine and phosphene were propelled into Iberian ranks.

The Berbers had poison gas…



…and the Iberians did not.



This was the first use of poison gas on the battlefield, and in those next few hours, its legacy would be transfixed in the shell-shocked minds of thousands of survivors.

Dense green clouds and shrill screams filled the air around Qadis, screaming soldiers abandoned their posts and fled their positions, hysterical boys attempted to escape the battle and seek refuge, only for the Berbers to pursue them in strength, bombard them with artillery and unleash their gas canisters as they viciously drove them northwards.



Needless to say, the battle quickly devolved into a rout, and the rout into a massacre.



The next day, a delegation arrived from Paris, prepared to begin negotiations for peace. Maz Mazin was nowhere to be found, however, with the Supreme Leader having fled to a command post further north, where he declared his intention to continue the fight — fight until the French were on their knees, fight until the Berbers were driven from Iberian soil, fight until the revolution was finally secured. There would be no surrender.

This refusal to negotiate provoked an uproar in Paris, where politicians and generals alike vowed to end the war by razing Qadis to the ground.



And in fairness, Maz’s refusal to make peace after his crushing defeat in Qadis mystified even his own supporters, but his intentions quickly became clear in the weeks that followed.

The Dual Monarchy was barely holding its own against Germany, so what he needed was another ally, one that could help him in repelling the Berber advance. So the Supreme Leader dispatched a large embassy to Egypt — which boasted the largest navy in the world — with an offer of alliance…



Only to be swiftly denied. The Egyptians had little interest in being drawn into the deadliest war in human history.



Or, to be more accurate, they had little interest in being drawn in by the Iberians. When diplomats from Paris arrived mere weeks later, they proved to be far more amenable, with an alliance drawn up between the two powers before the month was out.



Desperate for a counterweight against the Almoravid and Egyptians navies, Maz Mazin then turned to the second-largest force at sea — the Berber Union.



Again, however, any efforts to foster an alliance were met with stern denial. The only compensation was that the French were also spurned, with their pompous party of envoys promptly expelled from Imariz. The Union of Berber Sultanates would maintain their neutrality in the Great War, it would seem.



With his situation becoming increasingly hopeless, the Supreme Leader was forced to abandon any hope of retaking the straits, instead shifting his attention closer to home. Over a series of expensive diplomatic missions, Maz Mazin managed to reignite the old ties that once bound Qadis to Benin and Kongo, offering large monetary subsidies, extensive military expertise and immense territorial concessions to the King of Benin and the Khedive of the Kongo in his attempts to entice them into joining the war…



And at long last, the endeavour met with some success. Both powers agreed to forge alliances with Iberia, but only on the condition that they be granted seats in the post-war partition of Morocco, Russia and the Dual Monarchy, effectively giving them equal status to Iberia and Germany in the negotiations.

The Supreme Leader was desperate for allies, however, and both Germany and Celtica telephoned their agreement to the terms. And before the month was out, both Benin and Kongo had declared war on the Congressional Coalition.



A few days later, another group of diplomats arrived in Medina al-Gharb, the capital of the Revolutionary Republic of Ibriz — albeit a republic only in name. Maz Mazin didn’t have the luxury of antagonising the fascist dictatorship in Ibriz, however, what he needed was a counterweight to New England, whose ships and expeditionary forces were wreaking havoc across Europe.

And in return for their surrendered territories east of the Mississippi, Ibriz also established a temporary alliance with Iberia, issuing an order for general mobilisation a few weeks later, quickly followed by a declaration of war.




The next few weeks were spent in earnest discussions with other powers, as embassies were dispatched to Italy, Slovenia, Hungary, Balkans, Armenia, Arabia, Khwarezm, China and Japan in an effort to lure them into the war. Most of these negotiations ended in failure, but both Armenia and Arabia agreed to join forces with Qadis, in return for rich territorial and economic concessions from Egypt.



China and Japan were also receptive to Mazin’s charms, but it would take several more months and much greater compromises to earn the support of one of those eastern powerhouses.

Unfortunately, however, the Iberians weren’t the only ones to make desperate promises and ambitious assurances over the summer months of 1918. Politicians and ministers from Paris had been doing the exact same, looking to form the cordon sanitaire — a defensive alliance that would surround Germany in every direction.





At the same time, to counter the alliances forged in the Middle East, viziers from Marrakesh had managed to establish pacts with the Moroccan spherelings of Vali and Khwarezm, tempting them into declaring war on Armenia and Arabia.




And finally, the Russians made a few moves of their own, though they were far less… diplomatic. For them, the chief obstacle to victory against Germany was undoubtedly the narrow, concentrated battlefields of the Vienna Corridor, where tens of thousands of lives were sacrificed for every inch of land lost or gained.

That couldn’t be allowed to stand.



So the Smolenskian government turned their gaze further northward, to Poland, where the monarchy was recently overthrown in an anarchist revolution.



The radical government in Poland was issued an ultimatum — open their border, surrender their fortresses and allow the Russian Army to operate freely. There was no alternative.

The Poles, refusing to be drawn into the war, dismissed the ultimatum. And two days later, Russia declared war.



This world-spanning conflict had begun in what was meant to be a short campaign, to topple a precarious government, establish a stable regime and be home by Christmas. That would prove to be a costly lapse in judgement, and one that will certainly have devastating consequences as the war progressed, with millions of youngsters on the frontlines growing increasingly disillusioned as their conditions declined, as their battles became bloodier, as their brothers died alongside them.

Scarcely a year has passed, and the Great War is only just beginning.

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!
At least the Berber Union didn't join them.

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART
We're pretty much screwed here.

MatchaZed
Feb 14, 2010

We Can Do It!


Mein Gott. I'm expecting nukes by the end.

Yessod
Mar 21, 2007
Gas attacks on the most populous city in the world, and people are still willing to sign up?

Talas
Aug 27, 2005

I guess in a world where hellwars are a common event, an even hellish (heller?) war is the obvious next step.

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

At least true socialism will survive in the Balkans.

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice
I can only hope that Paris is burned to the ground by the Germans.

MatchaZed
Feb 14, 2010

We Can Do It!


Are there any good guys at all in this world?

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


WilliamAnderson posted:

Are there any good guys at all in this world?

Serbia's cool, and it even looks like they're sitting this one out so they can be the one world power not devastated at the end :unsmith:

Although I get the feeling that while they're perfectly willing to let the degenerate traitors in Andalusia get murdered, the invasion of Anarchist Poland is about to bring them in against Russia so maybe they're gonna get decimated too :smith:

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!

Pakled posted:

We're pretty much screwed here.

Maybe. I don't know how the European theatres will pan out, but I'm hoping Benin and Kongo will force Morocco to withdraw some divisions from Iberia, whilst I desperately rebuild an army and wait for gas defense to pop. And even if the AI isn't that smart, we might get end up with a scenario where Iberia completely falls, but so does Marrakesh to the Beninese/Kongolese, giving us some breathing room in the negotiations. We'll see, I guess.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Whelp here's to hoping one of our allies finishes pushing West/South and starts unoccupying our lands for us without collapsing in turn. I've got some faith in the Benin/Kongo power duo to push the Berber's poo poo in, but after getting stack wiped at Qadis I can't imagine we'll be doing anything but praying from a bunker for the next year or two.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
See? Totally fine.

fish and chips and dip
Feb 17, 2010
Even in Paradox games Poland cannot catch a break :smith:

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!

WilliamAnderson posted:

Are there any good guys at all in this world?

Berber Union and New England are liberal democracies, so they're okay, an Albionoria is a peaceful liberal democracy, so they're better. Even Germany and the UR aren't bad politics-wise, but most of the old world is a shitshow, I can't deny it. Hopefully some of them can reform by the end of the LP.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Isn't Belgrade style communism libsoc with all the mentions of worker councils/direct democracy stuff? Hard to tell what part of it is narrator/country spin and what's the actual on ground facts (99% approval is definitely sus).

Snipee
Mar 27, 2010
Wow, go Germany. A shame that we got wiped out in Iberia, but if we can get Japan/China to distract Russia, this can still turn out well.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
From my mass grave underneath the garroted bodies of my fellow Mensheviks, I laugh at Maz Mazin, ruler of nothing.

e: Also, lol this is going to end up with a Jizrunid in charge of Qadis and Andalusia split into a dozen minors each ruled by a noble family.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Dec 14, 2018

ManifunkDestiny
Aug 2, 2005
THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.

WilliamAnderson posted:

Are there any good guys at all in this world?

The Berber Union maybe?

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

Isn't Belgrade style communism libsoc with all the mentions of worker councils/direct democracy stuff? Hard to tell what part of it is narrator/country spin and what's the actual on ground facts (99% approval is definitely sus).

Yeah, they're decent but also very young, and the whole democratic thing might be thrown out of the window after a very bad war. They're probably going to give this whole world war nonsense a miss though, but I have given them a few special events, so there's the possibility of them kinda intervening in some way.

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

so why didn't we tighten our bonds with belgrade? was it going to be a vassalisation type affair, or is it simply us being embroiled in a massive and desperate war for survival turning us effectively stalinist?

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

not gonna lie if you survive this i expect some serious powergaming

MaxieSatan
Oct 19, 2017

critical support for anarchists
Yeah, if we pull out an actual win instead of a Not Terrible Peace I want the Monarchies separated and Morocco brought to heel.

We'll cross that bridge if we don't burn it first, ofc.

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SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

I like how the United Republic is such a pushover you covered it up in the bloc picture.

I thought Serbia was going to get pulled into the war, but I guess there's still time. Since they finally destroyed that little rump state of Greece that held on for so long, I want them to suffer.

WilliamAnderson posted:

Are there any good guys at all in this world?

Cherson, Waono, and the Red Turbans.

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