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Update 85: Shizune, Misha, and Masking That was an… Interesting route. You know, at first I was happy to see all the  posting; just the first week in this route generated as many posts as the thread sees in a slower month, and always nice to see people so excited and engaged. Except that engagement came from anger and frustration over all the mediocre writing and terrible behavior that characterizes her route. Like, look. I will always defend the fact that equal treatment means judging a person’s actions regardless of their disability outside of where it immediately affects their behavior, and that judgment can be as negative or positive as it can be for anybody else. It didn’t escape me (as was pointed out) that whenever Shizune’s Deafness came up, it was to contextualize how communication failures on a practical level might shape our perception of her behavior. Except some of her behavior proved unquestionably awful, which threw the thread into a tailspin several times. Honestly, I’m glad to see this route go, and while I don’t actually hate Shizune, I’d rather not dwell on her any longer than necessary.So I’ll spend most of this post dwelling on Misha instead. Update 2 posted:As he calls out her name, the cute, bubbly looking girl with bright pink hair and gold eyes waves her hand at me. I take a seat next to the window. Misha is a cartoon character from the moment we meet her. In theory, her boisterousness isn’t more outrageous than Shizune’s manipulativeness, Rin’s otherworldliness, or Kenji’s Kenjiness, especially in the much broader and less refined first act; she’s just one oddball among many. But Hisao notes from the beginning just how aggressively loud she gets, how much her behavior stands out from those around her. There’s something inherently fake about Misha, though in all the noise it just registers as anime-standard unrealistic. Either way, she and Shizune are inseparable, moving almost as a unit through the start of the route proper. The route uses all the slice of life content to establish the dynamic of their relationship. And then Shizune and Hisao start dating. Update 73 posted:
Almost immediately, she cuts off those gigantic drills, kind of a drastic decision since the game implies she’s worn them since she got rejected by Shizune. The doldrums between the trip and Misha’s visit to Hisao’s room show them gradually drifting apart; Misha shows up less and less, whether she has an excuse or just doesn’t show up. Update 76 posted:
When she does show up, occasionally, the mask slips. She’s very, very good at keeping her emotions hidden, but as the pressure mounts, she starts making mistakes – most notably offhandedly insulting the Student Council, Shizune’s baby. She spent the whole game supporting her in absolutely everything, then casually implies all their efforts might be worthless. Update 76 posted:
The mask slips around Hisao, too. He gradually realizes just how little he knows about Misha; she’s hollowed out her personality so thoroughly to fit Shizune’s that she’s never shown Hisao, who she considers a friend, anything she does for fun or on her own. The most he gets is her affection for parfaits, and the moment we actually see how she one, it becomes clear she kind of doesn’t know what she’s doing. Update 81 posted:
The whole point of a parfait is that it comes in layers, but when we finally get a good look at her eating one, she just watches it melt and indifferently scoops up the remains. This, too, might be just another baffle, something quirky she came up with for people to focus on without letting them in any deeper. That and it symbolizes how, though she’s a sweet all the way down, she has layers you couldn’t see from the surface. Misha, despite going along with the stuff Shizune did in Act 1, is a kind and supportive person who wouldn’t hurt a fly. She genuinely considers Hisao a friend even as she steals her crush, as the route tries to emphasize. She’s also a mass of depression compounded by the stress of years of suppressing her personality and putting up a front. Update 78 posted:
Eventually, the stress and isolation break her. She goes from occasionally erratic behavior to outright coming on to Hisao. It’s hard to say why, exactly, but as inexplicable and dramatically out of character as it is, it feels about right to me; I’ve been in that position before, pushed to and past the breaking point, and I’ve made similarly baffling decisions that I couldn’t explain after the fact. I can also identify with just how dangerous the resulting self-loathing is. Update 79 posted:
In the final version, Misha either pulled herself together or watches her friends drift away. In the beta, she committed suicide no matter what decisions you made. In the Bad Ending there, the trauma drove Shizune and Hisao part; in the Good Ending, they bonded over it, eventually naming their first child after her. I can’t say I object to them cutting that out of the finished product. This already cuts a bit too close to home; if they kept that element in, I probably would have put down the game after seeing it and not picked it up again. At least in Hanako’s beta route the game implies she and Emi hooked up, stabilizing her, though I guess the rest of the suffering in that route kind of cancels out any bonus points. Anyway, as I said, the route only has one decision in the final version. If you make the worst possible choice at the end of Act 3, the next scene drives home how it drove a wedge between the three characters. In Act 4, first you go through the same scenes with maybe a couple extra lines of tweaked dialogue, but instead of Misha gradually coming back, she and Shizune grow more and more aloof. Shizune retreats into her own head, gradually shutting out Hisao despite his best efforts, until she comes to his door one morning and asks him to take a walk with her. A hypothetical Update 84 posted:
During the Bad Ending, Hisao, Misha, and Shizune at no point actually sit down to discuss their issues and needs. They spend Act 4 practically ignoring each other until their relationships break for good. If you take the other route, as you saw, the three of them get their poo poo together and start talking to each other. Granted, it’s not quick and easy, and it actually takes Misha most of the act to claw her way up out of her depression, which tracks. Depression is a property of your brain chemistry, after all; even if things improve, it takes a while to stabilize yourself. But she does, and the Misha that comes out the other end is more honest, open, and capable of advocating for herself then she’s been since we met her. She undergoes the most character development of the three, by far, and that’s what makes her the most interesting character in the route. Honestly, while I still think Best Girl is someone else, I’ve developed a soft spot for her during this LP. Possibly because she masks a lot. Masking, for those unfamiliar, is a set of strategies a lot of autistic people develop to pass as neurotypical, but while that article explains what it looks like from the outside pretty well, let me tell you but it looks like from the inside. A lot of neurotypical interpersonal skills are unconscious, learned during ordinary childhood development. We miss out on most of those: they call it a developmental disability sometimes for a reason. Instead, many of us learn how to cobble together almost a surface personality, a mask, based on observations and hard lessons about what others expect from us in social situations. Ideally, it lets us anticipate and respond appropriately to social stimuli based on our reasoning and experience instead of our subconscious. Think of it like we’re constantly running a simulation of all the people around us, their wants, expectations, and past actions, and attempting to sketch out acceptable responses so we can deliver them in a timely matter with the same parts of our brain we use to carry on the conversation. And yeah, I guess there are lots of people who do that subconsciously, but that’s the whole issue: we have to do it consciously, running all these calculations in the background while broadcasting “I am an ordinary neurotypical” through our actions and words AND contributing to the conversation. You can probably guess it’s way out of reach for lots of people, and even for those who can handle it on the regular it’s loving exhausting. Like, look, I LIKE talking with people, I’m very proud of how I’ve assembled my mask and the ways I use it to get my ideas across. I approach using my mask as an interesting challenge, and that’s extremely rare among autistic people. So I think about it like it’s a tough test in a subject I’m good at. 30 minutes of conversation? As long as I know what I’m doing and I know what’s on the test (what a person wants to talk about), it’s a serious investment but nothing I can’t handle. Spread that out to an hour, and by the end I’m pretty wiped, though not so much I can’t go do something else. At two hours I’m pretty much done for the day I’m still highly invested, at four I can’t keep my thoughts organized anymore, and at six I might as well be drawing unicorns on the scantron - and many social functions last even longer. And this is all under ideal conditions. Prevent me from studying (I’m in a situation I’m not familiar with), put me in an environment not conducive to test-taking (it’s loud, noisy, and full of distractions), and make it on an unfamiliar subject (I don’t know any of these people), and you can halve or even quarter those times, and this is for someone who enjoys it. What’s that? You don’t want to do this for eight hours or more? Tough luck, fucker, you’ll just have to keep up the façade as long as everyone around you expects you to or your relationships, job, and once in a while life may be at risk. You’ll just have to tough it up and take the long-term psychological consequences. The long-term psychological consequences posted:
… Huh. That sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it? Let’s go down the list:
And I would go further explaining and justifying that, but… I just don’t have enough to go on. The signal-to-noise ratio in Shizune’s route is very low. It’s even lower in Hanako’s route, but that’s a vital part of the narrative; here, it feels like the writer tried to do the same thing to hide Misha’s breakdown and stumbled. They just leaned hard into the slice of life, I guess thinking that it’d endear us to the characters and get us invested so the eventual gut punch hits harder. But that just left the whole route feeling a little plain; compared to the rest of the game’s peaks and valleys, the relatively steady tone makes it feel flat and straightforward, not helped by just how little agency it allows the player. The core theme of Shizune’s route, as has been hammered home over and over again, is the importance of communication. So it’s kind of a shame this route communicates so badly. Sort of. See, the thread’s been really down on Shizune’s route for many reasons, good and bad, but the fandom as a whole? Not so much. Sure, it’s widely regarded as the worst written route and Shizune sits at the bottom of most popularity polls, but her route has a dedicated following. To many people, the low stakes and less strident tone feel less flat and more grounded, compared to the world-shaking, life-changing events that characterize the other routes, at least. It can register as a ray of light amidst a lot of dark subject matter and it sticks out because of it. I used to like this route specifically because of how different and close its tone was, but coming face-to-face with its issues like this kind of spoiled the fun. And that’s not a bad thing. I’d rather know the issues with Shizune’s behavior and not enjoy one part of one piece of media quite as much than ignorantly endorse its message; that’s how so much disability activism goes wrong, after all. To be honest, in spite of everything, there’s still a lot of ableism in the KS fanbase, though it’s more “we haven’t generalized the lessons we learned” than “we don’t understand the lessons at all”. I have no idea how to fix that, and trying to is frankly beyond me. The least I can do is point it out and show people a better way. (If you’re looking for better treatment of Act 4, I recommend reading this work, or if you’re looking for a good wrap up of Misha’s character arc this one (plus its Shizune and Hisao-focused companion piece). But you didn’t hear that from me  .)With that, I think it’s time we wrapped this bad boy up. Remember: Falconier111 posted:Actually, looking at the scene chart I just realized we're extremely overdue for Depending on the level of discussion we get in the thread, on either Friday or Monday we transition from one of the lightest routes in the game to probably the darkest: Rin’s. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 15:23 on Nov 24, 2021 |
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Nov 24, 2021 15:15
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Huh. I could have sworn there was a reveal that Shizune could read lips in the bad end. The way I remember it, he and Misha talk on the roof the day after the "comfort" scene. Shizune walks in, and they they continue talking about having sex while signing a different conversation (which would honestly be extremely impressive). Shizune kinda just withdraws until the end of the route when she reveals that she knew. Maybe I played the beta? But I definitely don't remember Misha dying or any of the other beta stuff. It's possible I just totally made this up in my head. Darn. I was ruminating on a post that was contingent on that. I'll have to re-read and re-consider.
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Nov 24, 2021 17:03
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Karia posted:Huh. I could have sworn there was a reveal that Shizune could read lips in the bad end. The way I remember it, he and Misha talk on the roof the day after the "comfort" scene. Shizune walks in, and they they continue talking about having sex while signing a different conversation (which would honestly be extremely impressive). Shizune kinda just withdraws until the end of the route when she reveals that she knew. Maybe I played the beta? But I definitely don't remember Misha dying or any of the other beta stuff. It's possible I just totally made this up in my head. Frankly I didn’t close-read the ending; work is descending into a (temporary) nightmare and I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth. It’s entirely possible that happened before the final scene of the route.
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Nov 24, 2021 17:15
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Maybe I'm a tremendous rear end in a top hat, but I like Shizune's Bad End better, though I absolutely hate what has to happen to get there. It feels more natural, somehow.
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Nov 24, 2021 17:35
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Related to how this was received back when it came out, there was at least some discussion at the time that Misha might have been autistic. I can't recall the exact things being said, but some people did comment that various things felt like potential giveaways - one of the few that I remember is someone mentioning her tendency to crash fairly early in the evening as a possible sign, like how she couldn't stay up for the fireworks. But I don't remember how that's supposed to relate, except maybe the mentioned exhaustion from masking constantly. (If someone's discussed it here in their personal testimonies, my apologies for not recalling.) She says she came to this school to learn and teach sign, but we also have had more revelations since about how she's been hiding everything about herself to keep things moving more smoothly for others. This was along with some "jokes" that she may have been sent to this isolated private school because her parents found out about her sexuality and strongly disapproved. It painted a picture among some of the early fandom of an autistic lesbian who has been uprooted then forced to fake and deny everything about herself, though I don't know if that image has held on.
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Nov 24, 2021 18:07
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I'm going to go with: Positivity, because an excess of positivity is another road to burnout. It seems like a very neurotypical thing to want everything to turn out for the best, and that leads to optimism, which leads to incaution because people are ignoring or discounting the possibility of things going wrong. I've got more to say about that in an essay I have yet to record for one of my own LPs, but the right amount of pessimism means you're prepared for when things do go wrong. And trying to force myself to seem more content than I am is one of the most persistent masks I have to wear. I feel like I've been a lot happier since I stopped automatically telling people I was happy. It's surprising how few people actually ask follow-up questions when you answer their obligatory "How are you doing?" with something other than "Fine". Stability, although I don't tend to contrast that directly with "motion". I do hate when my situation changes, although once the change happens, I settle in quickly and wouldn't usually choose to go back to my old situation because it would require a new change. After a week in a hotel room, I start to dread returning home. Platonic solids because see below. Art is bullshit, but not because of the content. People have been saying the opposite because they feel that this statement demeans creativity, but I don't see it that way. Creativity makes creative works, and creative works are tangible, but "art" is another social construct. "Art" takes creative works and collects them under a label, granting them a per se importance for merely existing, and then adds a layer of interpretation to justify that definition. I can read a poem and form my own opinions of it, but the "art" world produces "experts" who form collective opinions about it, analyze it, and decide what's worthy of being elevated to prominence and what remains in obscurity. It builds "museums" where the worthy works are published and preserved, along with the expert analysis so that non-experts will know what they should think about it. "Art" becomes such an inherent part of society that it's taught in schools, with lessons on both creating it and on analyzing it. I'm sure that has benefits, in terms of establishing means for people to be paid for producing their creative works, but I feel like it places demands on the creators and the audience that don't necessarily add value to the interaction. Roger Ebert famously said that video games are not art, and while I don't think that statement has any beneficial meaning (either because video games are no less art than anything else, or because in the end, either everything is art or nothing is art), I do think it's pretty profound. To say that something isn't art implies that some things are art, and that some things are not, and that there's some authority that decides which things are which. Is nature art? Is an attractive arrangement of flowers art if it was arranged by a human, but not art if the same arrangement of flowers were to occur naturally? Is it art if the flowers grow that way because someone carefully planted the seeds, but not if they were strewn haphazardly? Is paint flung onto a canvas with purpose art, but the same splatters caused by accidentally dropped paint cans not art? Is a photograph of non-art art? Is a photograph of art non-art? Is there a benefit to answering any of these questions? Does it enrich anyone? And if, like me, you just want to say "art is what you decide it is", then I think that's wonderful, but I don't think it's art anymore. It's just stuff that we think about. And I like thinking about things, probably more than anyone should. But when too many people think about the same thing and attempt to reach a single conclusion, it takes all the fun out of it. I enjoy having opinions that don't match anyone else's, and I like finding people who agree with me. The concept of "art" seems to actively work against that. Just one more thing for me to disagree with everyone about, I suppose, but that's what makes us individuals, and that's what makes us creative.
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Nov 24, 2021 18:57
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positivity motion platonic solids not bullshit
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Nov 24, 2021 19:00
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It's not even a good slice of life; there are few places where I feel the characters enjoy being together. Hanako's route was a much better slice-of-life. In addition to the inconsistent writing, bad pacing, too many extraneous characters, and various other faults I've discussed before, the endings are just...blah. I want something in fiction that goes beyond mundane life, and this route just didn't deliver. Or maybe watching relationships die due to lack of communication hits too close to home for me. Or maybe this is the true ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7A5mmJ8O-E
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Nov 24, 2021 19:54
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Positivity Motion Platonic Solids And, as someone who has at times referred to themselves as an artist, art is bullshit. And I mean that positively.
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Nov 24, 2021 21:43
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Falconier111 posted:Actually, looking at the scene chart I just realized we're extremely overdue for positivity stability Platonic solids bullshit
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Nov 25, 2021 00:06
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Falconier111 posted:Actually, looking at the scene chart I just realized we're extremely overdue for positivity stability graveyard poetry not bullshit (though Nidoking's opinions about this are really interesting, I reckon art is still a good idea to think with, even if we never arrive at conclusive answers)
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Nov 25, 2021 04:50
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Art is both bullshit and not bullshit, which is why I was noncommittal in my earlier votes. It's not bullshit because it has immense power to uplift us and make our lives worth living. It's bullshit because all the poo poo that people think of as "Art" with a capital A is some mix of "someone made something centuries ago and we latched onto it as being a Big Deal even if it doesn't necessarily mean much to anyone today", and money laundering and tax evasion schemes. The weird thing is that we're surrounded by immense amounts of art that simply doesn't get recognized as such by most people. To pick an example, this LP is art. And I'm not just talking about the game on display, either. The presentation and analyses and reader reactions are all acting to elevate the entire thing and infuse it with meaning and relevance to folks that would otherwise have ignored it. This is quite literally life-changing stuff here. You can't tell me that's not art.
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Nov 25, 2021 05:24
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:The weird thing is that we're surrounded by immense amounts of art that simply doesn't get recognized as such by most people. To pick an example, this LP is art. And I'm not just talking about the game on display, either. The presentation and analyses and reader reactions are all acting to elevate the entire thing and infuse it with meaning and relevance to folks that would otherwise have ignored it. This is quite literally life-changing stuff here. You can't tell me that's not art. Well... that's kind of exactly my point. Imagine that someone wants to know about the game, discovers this thread, and decides to read just the LP posts and skip all of the intervening material. They bypass the discussion, ignore the posts about disability and various related anime series, pretend the arguments never happened... a statement like this makes it seem like that person isn't getting the correct experience. But it's the experience they want to have. Who but that person can tell them that they're wrong? Art clumps discussion around its subject like a katamari, until it gets so thick you can't tell what color the sticky ball in the middle originally was. The reason I avoid taking an interest in most things that a lot of people love is because it gets difficult to separate the creation from the art and appreciate it the way I want to, rather than the way other people want to curate it for me. I backed Undertale on Kickstarter and then didn't play it for nearly a year because Twitter was a solid wall of character art, discussion, jokes, and other things I didn't want to color my impression of the game. It gets difficult to openly enjoy certain TV series, books, movies, or video games because the community of people who worship them seem to elevate the most toxic parts of society, and to express a favorable opinion of the work is inseparable from solidarity with the group. I love talking about things I enjoy (and I could probably write a whole essay on how a work changes depending on how much of it I've seen and how recently), but either I'm the only person who's ever heard of it or everyone knows it better than I do and insists on telling me about it, so I keep those things to myself and enjoy them privately until I feel it may be socially acceptable to start adding it to my collection of conversational references. I think the art community is great for the people who want to be a part of it, and the tools it has to affect one's perception of a subject can be wonderful for the people who choose to use them. But I feel like people who don't want to use them get shunted aside by people who have to say things like "THIS is ART!" and normalize having to think rather than choosing to think or not to think. I obviously don't have a suggestion that would improve the situation - it probably can't be changed now that it is what it is. But I'd like to suggest normalizing starting any discussion about art with "Do you want to talk about it?" and letting no be a socially acceptable answer. Real life doesn't have a set of hotlinks or a "show posts by user" button.
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Nov 25, 2021 06:20
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Positivity is cool, but let's not go crazy here. I've felt like time has been passing too quickly since I was a teenager even, so I prefer stability. Among other things I'm a 3D modeller, so platonic solids are cool and useful. This discussion is reminding me of the art theory subjects I did at Uni. At the time, studying the classics like Duchamp's Fountain led me to my own conclusion, which was that "anything can be art, but not everything is art". ... Which is probably too vague to be useful, but also too vague to be definitively bullshit, so art is not bullshit.  (Unsurprisingly, all this trying to work out what art is and isn't is very on-brand when it comes to Rin.)
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Nov 25, 2021 06:39
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I just double down on death of the author: art is the reaction you have when you experience a work, not the work itself. As Nidoking mentioned, there are different tools ("lenses" is the terminology I'm familiar with: I do notice the ableist vision-centric language choice!) that people can use to shape how they interpret and react to a work. Fundamentally, though, your reaction is necessarily shaped by your prior knowledge and personal experiences as well as the lens you're using, so nobody will have the same reaction and there can't be a single "correct" interpretation (which is not the same thing as saying that all interpretations are equally valid). This doesn't mean that "everything is art" or anything trite like that: some works are more effective than others at generating meaningful responses than others. But it does means that your experience (and thus the art itself) can be soured by outside factors like excessive hype, or that people will be unable to experience something as art if they've been preconditioned not to think of it as such. Which, remember, doesn't mean they're wrong: it's their experience, and it's not my place to tell them otherwise even if I think it's regrettable. All this is to say: the "art world" certainly may be bullshit, but that doesn't mean that art itself is bullshit, but since our experience of art is shaped by the conditions surrounding it that means that art is affected and modified by said bullshit in ways that are impossible to objectively judge but which I would generally classify as negative. You know. If anyone was curious.
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Nov 25, 2021 07:00
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It seems contradictory to say that not everything is art if art is a function of the observer. It stands to reason that if art is the act of reacting, then anything that inspires a reaction in anyone must be art, to whatever degree we apply the term "art" to the thing that inspires the reaction while claiming that it is not the thing that is the art. Personally, I try to make it a point to react to the things people react to the least. My greatest inspiration comes from what appears to be an absence of inspiration. If someone says "You can't make X without including Y" or "If you're going to A, you can't also B", it makes me determined to find a way to do exactly what they say not to do and still make it good. I'd write a mystery novel that violates every one of Knox's commandments if it weren't inherently contradictory to do so. (Although I'm now imagining a Chinese person showing up in a story simply because the killer hired them to do so, and explicitly for no other purpose, and my mind is racing trying to surround that single joke with enough details to make a story out of it.) I don't think it makes sense to draw an arbitrary line and say "You must be at least this inspirational to fit this label." At least, it doesn't seem to add anything to either our understanding or our appreciation of art. I want to say, though, that "death of the author" is not the idea of placing the burden of defining art on the observer, but rather treating the author as an observer rather than a creator when analyzing the creation, and specifically not treating the author's opinions as of any more merit than those of anyone else. I feel like that movement is falling out of favor as the views of certain authors are becoming more public, and critical readers are noticing the pernicious intrusion of those views into the stories they write in subtle ways. The views of the author shape the creation, however they may try to avoid it, and the more we try to ignore that influence, the more it influences us and the less we recognize it. Maybe it's dangerous territory to get into - I definitely don't want to involve specifics from any other story here. But I do feel the need to point fellow philosophers of art to the scene from Red Dwarf where Rimmer analyzes a light switch as a work of art and then muse on museum gift shops that, in fact, sell artisanal light switch covers. I think any statement that something cannot possibly be art is only a request for an example of it that is. Someone must have said that silence couldn't be music, and that's how we got 4'33".
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Nov 25, 2021 16:38
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I said all my answers under the assumption that they're non- run critical choices that Hisao can say to Rin and telling Rin to her face that art is bullshit sounds like it will get a funny reaction.
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Nov 25, 2021 17:38
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Good news, everyone! I just made contact with CplCrud, the chief writer of Hanako’s route and project lead for the bulk of the game’s development. He’s offered to answer questions for the thread, though he reserves the right not to answer questions he finds uncomfortable or that might doxx him. I’m not going to put any formal requirements on submitting questions, just leave them in the thread and I’ll relay them to him. Not that I want the artchat to stop, I’m loving it and I hope it keeps going (having a humanities background makes me kind of  right now), but a lot of people have time off and this gives them a chance to formulate their questions.Tulip posted:I said all my answers under the assumption that they're non- run critical choices that Hisao can say to Rin and telling Rin to her face that art is bullshit sounds like it will get a funny reaction. This vote determines what I choose in each of several choices coming up; they arrive thick and fast, so I figured I’d just get them voted for all at once and go from there. They heavily determine what shape the middle of the route will take, but none of them determine what ending we get. Also, depending on how you phrase the question, there’s a good chance Rin would just agree and go back to painting. TooMuchAbstraction posted:Art is both bullshit and not bullshit, which is why I was noncommittal in my earlier votes. It's not bullshit because it has immense power to uplift us and make our lives worth living. It's bullshit because all the poo poo that people think of as "Art" with a capital A is some mix of "someone made something centuries ago and we latched onto it as being a Big Deal even if it doesn't necessarily mean much to anyone today", and money laundering and tax evasion schemes. 
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Nov 25, 2021 18:52
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I believe that if you tell Rin "art is bullshit", she will agree with you at length, and if you tell Rin "art is not bullshit", she will agree with you at length. She will be equally honest and genuine in either case.
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Nov 25, 2021 19:46
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Nidoking posted:I believe that if you tell Rin "art is bullshit", she will agree with you at length, and if you tell Rin "art is not bullshit", she will agree with you at length. She will be equally honest and genuine in either case. Honest, yes. Genuine, yes. Comprehensible? Maybe.
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Nov 25, 2021 21:21
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I'm SO excited for Rin's route, you all are in for a treat! A fairly confusing and somewhat dark treat. Positivity Stability Platonic Solids Bullshit Falconier111 posted:Good news, everyone! I just made contact with CplCrud, the chief writer of Hanako’s route and project lead for the bulk of the game’s development. He’s offered to answer questions for the thread, though he reserves the right not to answer questions he finds uncomfortable or that might doxx him. I’m not going to put any formal requirements on submitting questions, just leave them in the thread and I’ll relay them to him. Not that I want the artchat to stop, I’m loving it and I hope it keeps going (having a humanities background makes me kind of I'd love to know how much of Hanako's personality and interests were his ideas vs how much was collaboratively developed with the other writers. Alternatively, ask him what he thought about the terrible "Hanako's sex scene was rape" and "gimme the chocolate" memes that would get posted whenever Hanako was mentioned back in the day. I always assumed it must have been awful to have dipshits saying that garbage when KS was new and potential players would assume they were being serious about the game's content 
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Nov 26, 2021 03:07
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Gonna call the vote now because the writeup just hit the first question.  Vote is closed! Results are: Positivity Stability Platonic solids Not bullshit Now I just have to remember all of that.
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Nov 26, 2021 03:29
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Chicken Thumbs posted:
Christ. I get those were edgelords memeing, but why does pretty much every disabled woman's sexuality in media have to involve rape or some other trauma in some way? (obviously not this) It's like disabled women get a double dose of "sexuality bad and evil".
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Nov 26, 2021 05:26
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I read that fanfic falconier111 posted as 'alternate shizune ending.' Quite liked it. I don't want to say my opinions much more deeply as that somehow feels spoilery but I do think that it worked with what Shizune's route has as themes but were generally underexplored and broke them out in a fun way. Can recommend if you're up for reading basically a small novel.Nidoking posted:I believe that if you tell Rin "art is bullshit", she will agree with you at length, and if you tell Rin "art is not bullshit", she will agree with you at length. She will be equally honest and genuine in either case. Falconier111 posted:This vote determines what I choose in each of several choices coming up; they arrive thick and fast, so I figured I’d just get them voted for all at once and go from there. They heavily determine what shape the middle of the route will take, but none of them determine what ending we get. Hah, yeah.
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Nov 26, 2021 07:48
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Questions: Why is Shizune's route so different? The tone, writing, and themes; even whether it's a love story or not. I know there were different authors, but I assume there was some kind of overall editorial exercise. This walkthrough has pointed out a lot of issues with mental health and neurodivergence that I never noticed on playthrough. Did the writers intend to include these, or did it come up naturally?
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Nov 26, 2021 09:27
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Update 86: Creative Pain (Act 1 (Rin), Part 1) As requested, from now on most of my screenshots will no longer include the text at the bottom of the image. Any pictures featuring rapid movement will probably still have the empty text boxes at the bottom (can’t remove that with outcropping the picture) and that text will still show up whenever we face a choice (no way to hide one and not the other), but it should be clear enough. This style is still highly experimental for me; let me know how it compares.Anyway, Rin’s route. Fun fact: I’ve never actually played Rin’s route. I’ve gone through the others several times each, but I could never bring myself to person up and power through it. So this will be a learning experience! To get to Rin’s route, you basically have to manage not to commit to anybody without driving them away and triggering a death flag. It isn’t actually that complicated: just don’t side with Lilly or Shizune in their argument, don’t volunteer to exercise, and don’t shut yourself off when Lilly asks you what’s wrong while you walk back from town with her and Rin, and the game will guide you there. But that’s still like the least obvious path to a route in the first act, so very few people stumbled into it by accident. You kind of have to hunt her down. We’ve now seen just about all of Act 1 (or at least the parts I wanted to show you), so I’m not inclined to do some kind of whirlwind retrospective. All that’s left is the individual route lead-ups. If you want to catch yourself up, read the first few updates of the thread until you get to the point where you make a choice about running with Emi in Update 13, then hop to Update 37 at the same point. From there, work your way to the point of Update 39 where I mention jumping to Update 15. Do so, then stick around where I start talking about Support. Emi and Rin, like Lilly and Hanako, have a joint path that buds off into the run ups to their routes, but here we don’t get a choice of who to go with; we already made it when we decided whether or not to exercise properly. The routes subtly split part way through the next scene while they talk about Prussian Blue. Easy peasy, right? Let me work in the first couple lines before the split here and mark the split proper with a screenshot. Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies  RIN: "Emi, I need the Prussian blue paint."  EMI: "Which one's Prussian blue..." She is staring helplessly at seven or eight cans, each with a different tone of blue. RIN: "It's the one with Prussian blue paint in it." EMI: "Geez, Rin! You're not helping at all!" I look around as well, even though I don't know what Prussian blue looks like, either. I wonder what blue has to do with Prussia. ...Or what Prussia even is. The name sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't place it. While none of the blues looks more Prussian than the others, the small print on the labels is legible enough to determine that none say anything about the contents being Prussian.  HISAO: "There is no Prussian blue here." .png) Emi heaves a sigh. EMI: "I guess I have to go back and get some. I promised to help with our class project, though, so I'll be back a bit later. Can you manage without it for a few hours?" Rin nods, and so Emi leaves. (Silence) I stay because I like watching Rin paint, and because I have nothing better to do. I sit on a box and pick up today's book from my bag. It's a story about three guys drinking beer for two weeks straight and doing little else. Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride Rin moves from the spot that was in need of the blue and starts slowly working on another. Her foot works the brush steadily against the plastered wall. Layers of paint on top of layers of paint. The mural slowly gains more form. I turn the pages at a leisurely pace. In this chapter they are drinking beer at the protagonist's friend's place. In the previous ones it was the protagonist's own apartment. It's not a page-turner kind of book, a slice of someone's imaginary life that makes me wonder why it had to be written. Why indeed. The reason for doing something creative... it's something incomprehensible. Like why Rin does paintings. It feels like she and Emi are the same, going squarely against their fates as if it's just out of spite. Rin even said something like that. “Do something you can't just because you can.” Is that what she meant? Is that her reason? It might be Emi's, she comes off as quite a headstrong person. Rin doesn't give off that kind of an air. Thinking about it, she doesn't give off any kind of air, or maybe a different kind every time I talk with her. Why did she say what she said? Why does she, or anyone at all paint, or draw, or sculpt, or write? I've never had much of a creative impulse so I don't think I can really understand it. It makes me feel hollow inside. What a grim thought. I can't really decide whether it's true or not, either. Am I content being this way? I can't deny I'm feeling a little bit envious of Rin, but I can't really consider it a flaw of any kind. I'm myself and she is herself. Still, I do need to find something. Something that could... make me feel a little less lost about myself, instead of just drowning myself in these books as I did in the hospital. I can't help but feel disoriented; the new school, lifestyle and people around me contribute heavily to this sensation. I'm trying my best to fit into existing social circles, and most of the people I've met have been really nice. It still feels like I'm an outsider, though; like I don't belong. (Silence) I shake the feeling off, realizing that I'm spacing out. I have neither turned a page of the book, nor done anything for Rin. She is trying to pour some paint from a big can using only her feet, having not bothered to ask me. Or maybe she did, and I didn't hear it. Either way, it looks very unstable. Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar .png) I quickly jump to help her, as it looks like she's about to spill the entire contents of the can all over the pavement. I take the can from her feet and pour some in the bowl. She doesn't say anything, and neither do I. I catch a glimpse of her eyes, looking silently at me from under her unkempt bangs. It's an unreadable expression, a perfect poker face, mixed with a hint of something like a mild surprise. I wonder what she is thinking. Maybe she is wondering about what I'm thinking. Maybe nothing. HISAO: "A penny for your thoughts." RIN: "Do you have any pennies with you?" HISAO: "I don't think I do." RIN: "Then I don't think I will tell. I'm not thinking anything either, so you're in luck. Except now I just did." She frowns, looking very unsatisfied. RIN: "It's hard to not think about anything. But it's important." I'm about to ask why it's important when some old guy walks up to us, looking like he has some business with Rin. .png)  NOMIYA: "Good afternoon. How's it going?" RIN: "I can make it." Rin doesn't take her eyes off the wall and responds so naturally that I can only assume they know each other. I haven't seen the man before, so I naturally wonder who he might be. Maybe a teacher? His hair has faded to a silvery gray, so much so that it looks artificially dyed. I hope that's not the case. Small round glasses hang on the bridge of his nose, but it appears he's constantly looking over the lenses, rather than through them. He's studying the mural intently over said glasses. .png) NOMIYA: "Good, good. What bold composition you have here!" He moves to inspect the mural closer, talking to himself about it in a way that makes it obvious he wants us to hear it too. NOMIYA: "Very good, very good indeed..." I don't really know what to make of it but Rin doesn't seem to care much. She's looking around her working space, the various bowls of different tones scattered all over. RIN: "Hisao." HISAO: "Hmm?" RIN: "A little more of this." HISAO: "Give me a second." I pour a 50-50 mix of two paints into the bowl to create more of the same pale pink tone Rin was using to fill up the shape of a man's face. Rin watches me doing so, which makes me feel nervous somehow. Her face is so unassuming that it feels she's just waiting for me to do something wrong. The man turns to reckon me as well, looking surprised as if he noticed my presence only just now. ...Maybe he did. NOMIYA: "Why, hello there. Who might you be?" HISAO: "Ah, I'm a transfer student to class 3-3. Hisao Nakai. Nice to meet you." .png) NOMIYA: "Mutou's class, eh? Well, I won't hold that against you!" The screen shakes and… Seagull calls play?He laughs very loudly. Obnoxiously loudly. A few small birds take flight from a nearby tree. NOMIYA: "I'm Shinichi Nomiya, the art teacher." So this is the art teacher. In retrospect, should have guessed that much. He even looks like one, as far as first impressions go. NOMIYA: "How did you come to end up assisting my protégée?" .png) I wish I knew... >"I just kinda stuck with her, I think." >"I'm interested in the art club." Not sure it looks great, but them’s the breaks. Anyway, remember how enthusiastic Act 1 is about shoving ”don’t close yourself off” down your throat? If you say “I have no interest in what Rin’s doing aside from idle curiosity”, you manage to alienate the last person you got the chance to befriend who wasn’t a colossal rear end in a top hat and die by rooftop drunkenness the next day. >"I'm interested in the art club." So let’s not do that. This, by the way, is the last death flag left in Act 1. We will not see another for the rest of the LP. HISAO: "I guess I'm a little interested in the art club." I blurt it out, partially inadvertently. NOMIYA: "What do you mean?" HISAO: "Nothing... specific. I wonder if I could come by sometime. Even if it's just to observe or something. I've been thinking that I should join some club or something, so..." It's in no way a premeditated move, but a vague sense of determination has really been building inside of me for this past week. I want to do something. I want to belong somewhere. It might as well be the art club, my shortcomings notwithstanding. The teacher seems pleased. NOMIYA: "Oh? You want to join? Well, we always welcome new people, of course. Club meetings are normal enough. We study various aspects of the fine arts and try our hands at them, as well. Or feet." He gives an embarrassed cough, but Rin doesn't seem to mind. I take a small amount of comfort from the fact that I'm not the only one with vocabulary difficulties in this school. Nomiya rebounds from his faux pas by theatrically checking the time from his huge, gleaming pocket watch, and slaps his forehead even more theatrically. NOMIYA: "I really must take my leave now, but if you have questions, I'm sure Tezuka can clarify." Somehow, mentioning “clarify” and Rin in the same sentence doesn't feel right. However, I don't say as much to the teacher, since he seems to be in a hurry. NOMIYA: "Tezuka, I'm pleased to see that this little project is going so well. I just stopped by to remind you to not run off by yourself, tomorrow. I've invited certain people to the festival for you, and I'm sure they'd like to meet you as well. I hope I'll see you on Monday, then, Nakai." (Silence) The teacher leaves, and we are left by ourselves again. Rin is still painting as if nothing notable happened. Since nothing in fact did, I am left wondering what on Earth is wrong with me. Art and I haven't worked well together in the past, at least judging from the grades I used to have in middle school. Maybe a club will be different than an obligatory class. Who knows? I try to come up with something meaningful to ask about it, but to no avail. I'll just go to a club meeting and see how it goes. HISAO: "So he invited some people tomorrow just to check out your painting?" RIN: "He has a lot of art-people friends. They like to talk about art. I think he wants me to talk about art with them." HISAO: "Somehow, I get the feeling that you aren't too thrilled about it." Rin shrugs noncommittally, but it still gives an impression of her general displeasure at the idea of having to discuss her painting, or any painting, with other people. Katawa Shoujo OST - Parity (Rin's Theme) .png) RIN: "I don't really like talking about art. It is already a way to talk without talking, so why bother talking about it?" HISAO: "I can understand that." RIN: "It's like being bored and talking about being bored, because you are bored." HISAO: "I'm not following you." RIN: "Have you ever talked about being bored? It's pointless and not very exciting. All you can really say about it is “I'm so bored.” I once spent a week trying to think of something meaningful to say about boredness. It was the most boring week I've ever had." HISAO: "But that's pretty fitting, don't you think?" Rin gives me a look, the laconic kind that looks like it doesn't mean anything but it does. HISAO: "Anyway... I don't know, I guess I just rarely can come up with anything to say about art. I mean, like this one you're doing now. I have no idea what to think about it, except that it looks nice. What is this painting about?" RIN: "It's not about anything at all." … RIN: "That's what I'd like to say. So I did. But that was a small lie. I said it anyway because I would kind of like it to be true. Teacher wanted me to do this, but I didn't have any ideas. I tried to have some, but nothing happened. So now this is a painting without any ideas." HISAO: "But... what are you painting then?" RIN: "No idea. Come to think of it, I think I'll call this “No idea.” Ah, now I started thinking again. This is bad." Her sprite rapidly vibrates between profile and head-on versions. She shakes her head vigorously for a while, trying to shake “thinking” out of her head. That amber-red hair flies wildly around. RIN: "This is why I had Emi help me. She makes it easy to not think about anything. You know, how she just talks talks talks about nothing for hours. It's like her head is made of bubblegum foam bath jelly. You are kinda the same, but not really. It's very helpful if you stay here." (Silence) I am not sure if that's a compliment or not. It's probably neither; with Rin being the overtly neutral person she is. HISAO: "So is there anything specific you'd like me to do to make you not think?" RIN: "Just be." So without knowing what I should do, I just sit on an empty box to watch her continue with the painting, idly leafing the pages of the beer-drinking book. Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles Rin has a serene expression on her face, her dark green eyes hiding what she might think behind them. No wait, she's supposedly not thinking anything, right? She quietly hums to a tune, interrupting every now and then with polite requests for more paint or another kind of brush. Her concentration is admirable, even though she seems to be sleep-deprived and under pressure to finish the job. Inch by inch the painting gains more form, details being added on top of details, colors entwining with each other, filling the empty spaces, growing on top of each other. I find myself thinking about inspiration and motivation to create art again. Where does one get ideas? They don't come out of nowhere, and I don't think there are muses that magically inject some inspiration in your head. Ideas have an origin and a purpose. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that Rin is lying about her mural, or at least twisting the truth. Maybe she doesn't even realize it, herself. You can't do anything creative without having an idea of what you are going to create. That would go against the definition. Every stroke must be decided to be drawn. Even if it's made at random, then that, too, is a conscious decision. So her painting, even this one, must be based on having some deliberate goal or idea of what to paint. If Rin's idea is to have no idea, as she said, does that count as having an idea? A logical paradox? That seems to be Rin's modus operandi for most normal interactions, so it wouldn't surprise me if she hadn't even noticed this herself. I wonder if I should bring it up, but I'm not sure if I want to engage in an argument about logic with this girl. One of us would probably end up short-circuiting fairly quickly, so I discard the thought. Rin is squirming and shuffling restlessly. Even her usual blank visage breaks occasionally into pretty difficult looking expressions, the kind that one doesn't just come up with accidentally. .png) HISAO: "Everything all right?" RIN: "Yes. No. My back started hurting again. This painting is too big, after all, and it's hard to paint in this position." HISAO: "Want to take a break?" RIN: "After I finish this part." Of course, she doesn't take a break, and I don't bring it up again because that would be completely and utterly pointless. Rin continues her work and I stay with her: I like to watch her paint, and I'm going to be a member of the same club she's in, now. (Silence, Cricket Noises) The light fades into evening. When she declares the mural to be finished, it's already so dark that I have no idea how she can tell. There is no celebration, no general sense of a job well done, just a tired and laconic “I'm done” and then we both go to sleep. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight Once again, we hop back to Update 16. Read until Kenji starts talking about his fort. Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop HISAO: "Well, I joined the art club so I guess I'll go with them."  KENJI: "You did what?" HISAO: "I joined the art club." KENJI: "Man, that was a bad move. Really bad. You don't know what kind of girls there are in the art club. Troubled, angsty cuties who tear your heart out and eat it raw." Well, I know one art club member, and I don't really see Rin suddenly becoming a psychotic murderer. HISAO: "That seems unlikely." KENJI: "Don't say that. Don't fool yourself. You have no idea what you are dealing with here, man. They are the worst kind. They drag you in with all this fancy-pantsy poo poo and when you least expect it, BAM!" HISAO: "Bam what?" Kenji seems slightly fazed at my skepticism, but not any less loony. KENJI: "It doesn't matter. Tread carefully man, tread carefully." He fingers his scarf nervously, faster and faster like he is trying to start a fire, then slowly begins to calm down once the panic attack finishes running its course. KENJI: "I'm going to have to find some place to hide in, a safe haven. And then knock the lights out of myself so that I don't have to experience this horrible day. I have the perfect thing for that. I must prepare now. Don't go to the festival." HISAO: "Okay." KENJI: "Later, dude." The door slowly closes with a low creak and I don't know how to feel about what Kenji just said. Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar, (Crowd Sounds) .png) The happy hubbub of the crowd greets me as I push myself through the main door and step outside. The school grounds were transformed into festival grounds over yesterday and this morning. Colorful stands line at the main walkways from the main entrance to the school building. Some people are still carrying stuff to and fro, but behind most counters are relaxed students who look like they are good to go. Most of the other students have been up early to finish the preparations. A feeling of guilt passes through me, but it soon goes away. I'm just a lowly transfer student, after all. Some visitors are already strolling around the grounds. There are some young families with the perturbed parents trying to keep up with their overenthusiastic offspring... ...a few students of our own accompanied by their parents... ...and a lot of old and young people who are here for no reason I can imagine. The carillon bursts into life and the principal's squeaky voice announces the opening of the festival over the PA system. Everyone applauds politely if a bit unenthusiastically. A school festival... we didn't really have festivals at my old high school. It feels kind of old-fashioned, especially considering the school I came from, but it's still somewhat exciting. A day off feels sweet after the first week of hard work, despite me lying on the hospital bed for four months prior to this. I recall even wishing that I could go to math lessons during my stint at the hospital. I can't remember the program for the festival, even though Mutou went through it during class just the other day. I step off the dorm steps, intending to take a tour around the grounds to see all the stuff the others have set up, but I only make it down to the bottom of the stairs
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Nov 26, 2021 17:58
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Huh, Hisao's inner monologue feels immediately rather Rin- like.
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Nov 26, 2021 18:41
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Another link you might want to double-check before posting the next 20 updates, although this one is a lot funnier than the last one I pointed out 
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Nov 26, 2021 19:52
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Tulip posted:Huh, Hisao's inner monologue feels immediately rather Rin- like. I noticed that as well. On a first glance this feels kinda rushed...
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Nov 26, 2021 20:01
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Tulip posted:Huh, Hisao's inner monologue feels immediately rather Rin- like. IMHO he's at his most introspective and interesting in this route, though it's true that the change is a bit abrupt in Act 1.
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Nov 26, 2021 22:44
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Nidoking posted:I believe that if you tell Rin "art is bullshit", she will agree with you at length, and if you tell Rin "art is not bullshit", she will agree with you at length. She will be equally honest and genuine in either case. This is why Rin is my favorite. Hanako is still best girl, but Rin is my favorite.
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Nov 26, 2021 22:47
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YaketySass posted:IMHO he's at his most introspective and interesting in this route, though it's true that the change is a bit abrupt in Act 1. My mind is just kind of rolling with "well we skipped ahead pretty substantially." I think it's pretty natural that a person's cognition is very context dependent, and I think it's a strength of KS that Hisao manages to be both a distinct character with his own damage but also quite responsive to his social context. We've had jock Hisao and gamer Hisao and now we're getting philosophy Hisao. So question I want for the dev - what was the editing and collaboration process like? I've been doing some collaborative writing and it's been a struggle to get a process down.
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Nov 27, 2021 01:48
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I am so glad we are doing Rin's route. I did Rin's route back when the LP was doing Emi's route and have been dying to talk about it ever since.
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Nov 27, 2021 06:15
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One question for CplCrud, as long as it's not too broad: I was wondering how the project got started - how the whole thing, with so many people working on it, crystallised around nothing but that single artwork that guy did originally. (Maybe this is a well-worn topic, but it's something I've wondered about - and I only really know what's been said in this thread.)
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Nov 27, 2021 09:53
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Tulip posted:We've had jock Hisao and gamer Hisao and now we're getting philosophy Hisao. I'm just  at 'gamer Hisao'.
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Nov 27, 2021 11:00
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Hanako's route was the one that stuck with me the most, but Rin's is a close second because of what goes down. Looking forward to what people have to say once the ball rolls along.
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Nov 27, 2021 15:37
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cranky corvid posted:Another link you might want to double-check before posting the next 20 updates, although this one is a lot funnier than the last one I pointed out What makes you think this one wasn’t on purpose ?YaketySass posted:IMHO he's at his most introspective and interesting in this route, though it's true that the change is a bit abrupt in Act 1. It’s also worth noting we just came off of Shizune’s route, where the strongest emotion Hisao feels is  . Now we’re getting introspection and philosophizing all of a sudden, so it kind of comes as a shock. It’s less that it’s that different from the norm and more we spent the last month or two at the other end of the spectrum.E: Quackles posted:I'm just Just noticed how completely absent video games are from the narrative, which shows a surprising amount of restraint from the devs. Not that I don’t expect (most of) them to put the effort, but you’d expect them to at least allude to him gaming, especially given how lonely the game implies Hisao’s past was. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Nov 27, 2021 |
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Nov 27, 2021 16:58
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Update 87: Clouds In My Head (Act 1 (Rin), Part 2) Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar .png) A few people are studying Rin's mural on the wall, while the artist herself is lounging on the sidelines, leaning against the wall and looking extremely bored and mildly under the weather. HISAO: "Good morning." RIN: "Hello." HISAO: "How's it going?" RIN: "Nowhere. I'm stuck." HISAO: "What do you mean stuck?" RIN: "I mean I can't walk stuck. I think my legs are out of order because of yesterday." HISAO: "Does it hurt?" RIN: "It's hard to say. Maybe." The strain of working on the mural was greater than she let me know. I thought it was just a bit of tired muscles or something. I mean to ask something further, but Rin swiftly moves on to another topic. RIN: "Teacher's friends came by. Then they headed into town for lunch and asked me to go. It was a good thing my legs hurt so much." HISAO: "But you're stuck sitting there? That's not good." RIN: "I'll just wait till I can walk again. It should be either sooner or later, if you think about it for a while. Teacher was happy that I finished the mural." HISAO: "He should be." (Silence) RIN: "But I wonder if it's finished after all." HISAO: "Oh?" RIN: "I thought yesterday that I had done everything, but now I'm not sure any more. I should paint more details. Maybe. Probably. It's very hard to decide." Finished or not, the mural looks great in broad daylight. Katawa Shoujo OST - Everyday Fantasy The next part has the camera panning jerkily across the entire mural. Various human body parts, repeated over and over in a wildly mutating, mostly disfigured variety are the main element. They are rough-looking, as if thoughtlessly placed and rudimentarily painted, but a great deal of thought and care has gone into each and every one of them. HISAO: "Does this one have a frog growing out of his head?" RIN: "It's a goldfish." HISAO: "What's that?" RIN: "It's nothing." Anyway... The wall is so wide I have to turn my neck from side to side to see the entire painting. It's hard to consider it as a single piece. The elements don't seem to fit together, but I guess they do create some kind of a whole. Abstract as it is, I have no idea what it's supposed to be portraying, but it looks nice. That's enough for me. I settle myself next to Rin, leaning against the wall like she does. The happy noises of the festival are becoming louder as more and more folks enter the grounds. The dorms are far from the main attractions in the main building and the stands around the courtyard so most visitors have not found their way here yet. .png) A somewhat bored expression settles on Rin's face, making her look detached from everything that's going around her. She is being awfully quiet. I wonder if she's in pain. HISAO: "So what did the art people say about your mural?" My question wakes Rin from her daydreaming. She lazily turns her face towards me. RIN: "I'm not sure. I think they liked it? Maybe they did." HISAO: "What about you? Are you happy with the mural? 'Cause I kind of participated, it'd be terrible if you were unhappy." Rin tilts her head, biting her lower lip. .png) RIN: "I think it came out decently. It's not bad but it's not good either. It just... is. I guess I'm all right at being empty-minded." HISAO: "Can I ask something else? What does the painting really portray? I thought about it yesterday, when you said that it doesn't portray anything. But that's a logical fallacy, isn't it? You can't make something out of nothing, not even art." Rin frowns and turns her head back towards the clouds. RIN: "I don't know. I am not really good at explaining things. It's just a mural; there is nothing special to it. I said it already." She sounds annoyed at my inquiries. RIN: "I didn't know what I'd paint, so I decided to paint just a mural. It's a mural that portrays a mural. No, wait. I just thought up a better way to say it: It portrays itself. So... its muralness is at the maximum, at least as far as I can do, so if you think it has some meaning, I think that's the same as this one has." That makes no sense. Meaning... I feel the corners of my mouth turning upwards into a smile that's just a tiny bit bothered. (Silence)  I have never understood art in the deepest meaning of the word. I get the basics, how art is supposed to be only a means for exchanging ideas and thoughts. However, I never learned how I should interpret a piece of art, to somehow divine what the artist intends to say through it. I know it's not any special skill, but somehow, my brain never can connect art with anything else than what I see. All I see is a mural. I can admire the technical skill, after all even I know the difference between bad art and mediocre art; mediocre art and good art. But that's as far as I can go, so don't ask me about meanings, Rin. Her reply sure made me reluctant to ask her about it any further either. Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies HISAO: "So what are you doing when you get on your feet?" RIN: "Nothing." HISAO: "Nothing? But there's the festival, don't you want to go have some fun?" RIN: "I'm fine like this." HISAO: "You don't like socializing much, do you?" I think I'm arguing more for her than for myself at this point. It's not that I'm particularly thrilled about the festival, either; just a bit curious to see what it's like, and that's about it. Her answer is unsurprising. RIN: "No, I don't." HISAO: "I guess... me neither, in the end." RIN: "You should go if you want to." HISAO: "I know, but I can keep you company. I'm not used to all this just yet, so it's okay to take it easy. I can leave though, if you want to be alone." RIN: "I like it if you are here." We circle around each other with words, but eventually end up somewhere. Her saying that makes me feel oddly happy, so I stay. Her presence is something I like too. The odd, warm aura of serenity that she seems to emanate makes it comfortable to be silent. I really like that. We watch people walk by, the two of us silent, everyone else chattering happily among themselves. Students are leading their families to the dorms to show their rooms. They pass us and the mural, maybe glance at it once or twice. I pay less attention to them, and more to my companion, trying to figure my way past her cryptic, unreadable wall of a face. Rin's eyes flicker restlessly from one person to another as they walk by. Is she waiting for people to stop at the mural, maybe secretly hoping someone would comment on it? I don't think anyone would assume she was the artist. We're just sitting here like a pair of hobos, after all, and she doesn't even have hands. I wonder if it's even in Rin's style to fish for compliments. She seems so aloof. More people walk by, some of them pointing their fingers at the mural, exchanging words that I can't make out. Someone drops a snow cone on his shoe. Too bad for him. HISAO: "Everyone seems to like it." I suggest it tentatively, throwing a topic in the stale summer air separating us. Rin doesn't answer right away, but by now I am mostly used to her occasional slowness when she must talk. It's like she takes great care picking her words, which is really unbelievable when you consider the jumble that comes out of her mouth. RIN: "I wanted to make it so that you can just look at it without thinking. Then I realized that it doesn't make any sense. So it became something like a mix of this and that. From far away, it looks like someone vomited a herd of butterflies on the wall. Which is exactly what that obnoxious president person didn't want. Is that word that?" HISAO: "What word?" RIN: "That. What is the word for more than one butterfly?" HISAO: "Butterflies?" RIN: "No, like a herd, or a school, or a heap." HISAO: "Oh. I don't know. A flock maybe?" RIN: "Maybe people like butterfly vomit." Rin looks at the mural, looking surprisingly unhappy. RIN: "The middle could be better. Usually I like in-betweens, but this was a pain in my butt. Not literally of course... then again I did get that too. I guess it was literally after all." HISAO: "Don't be so critical of yourself." She looks at me funnily, but shuts up. At about this point I start thinking if I should really leave and do something more constructive with my Sunday. This is the pinnacle of social failure. A whole free day, a festival right outside my doorstep, and what do I do? Sit here with Rin; two bystanders with nothing to do except to think what a pity it is to be just a bystander. Even realizing how pitiful it is, I don't do anything. I don't stand up and take off for a day of fun. … (Silence, Rustling Sound) .png) *shuffle shuffle* Yeah, the screen just… Displays *shuffle shuffle* like that. … *fidget* *shuffle* Rin is shuffling about restlessly, constantly swinging one leg over the other knee and then back again. She has a very irritated look on her face. HISAO: "Is something wrong?" RIN: "Yes. No. Yes." She suddenly hops up on her feet. It's surprising, I thought she was still rendered immobile but apparently that's not the case. RIN: "I have to go find Emi or someone, I need some help with something." HISAO: "I can help you." RIN: "No, it's okay. One of us has to stay here in case something happens." HISAO: "Don't be ridiculous. Nothing even remotely interesting has happened since I came here except that one guy who dropped a snow cone on his foot. Let me help you, since I'm bored. So what is it?" Rin's lips flatten tightly against each other into an almost perfectly horizontal line. She closes her eyes and draws in a deep breath. When she opens her eyelids the frighteningly stern look in her dark eyes takes me aback. Katawa Shoujo OST - Parity (Rin’s Theme) .png) RIN: "Hisao, you might not want to hear this or maybe you do, I don't know, but it doesn't matter and even if it would you are not leaving me any choice. I'm having my period and I need some help regarding that. However, I don't feel that our relationship is yet on the level where I could allow you to pull my underwear down in the girls' toilet even if you offer to. That's why you should stay here while I go and look for Emi." (Silence) As blood rushes to my cheeks like the rising tide my brains try to desperately search for an answer, but the only thing I can think of is how that was the most coherent thing I have heard coming out of Rin's mouth during these four days I've known her. HISAO: "Yes." Not wanting to meet Rin's eyes, I turn my face aside, pretending I'm looking at someone's parents. From the corner of my eye I see Rin turning on her heel and walking off without further ado. I feel like going to hide under some rock. I wonder how long Rin will be gone... or if she will return at all. Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles She does return eventually, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and sitting back to where she was, next to my place. RIN: "I'm back." She says it flatly, like my blunder never happened. I'd prefer to forget the whole matter as well, so I keep quiet. .png) Time passes in standstill, the sun gleams from high above the main building. It hits me directly in the eyes, but I just squint instead of moving. In a bit it becomes painful to keep my eyes open just a little, and my temples start aching. HISAO: "My head hurts. I think this day gave me a headache, can you believe it?" RIN: "Are you hungry?" HISAO: "How is that related to headache?" RIN: "It's not. I ask because I am." … Her oblivious seriousness melts my irritation with its ridiculousness, and I find the corners of my mouth turning slightly upwards again. HISAO: "You know what? So am I. I'll go get some food for us. What do you want? My treat." RIN: "Doesn't matter." Returning with the food, I give one portion to Rin, taking the other for myself and we dig in without a word. Rin looks upwards, fork hanging out the corner of her mouth. RIN: "What are clouds? I always thought they were thoughts of the sky or something like that. Because you can't touch them." HISAO: "You thought like that when you were a kid?" RIN: "No, last week. Maybe because sometimes my thoughts feel like clouds. Fluffy and white and slow. Like the sky was in my mind. Like my mind was the sky." HISAO: "The sky of your mind?" RIN: "Close your eyes and think of sky. You won't be able to think of anything else until you stop." I try it. It works. Magic? Opening my eyes, I see Rin studying me with her eyes. It feels uncomfortable because she doesn't say anything. I turn away. .png) HISAO: "Clouds are water. Evaporated water. You know they say that almost all of the water in the world will at some point of its existence be a part of a cloud. Every drop of tears and blood and sweat that comes out of you, it'll be a cloud. All the water inside your body too, it goes up there some time after you die. It might take a while though." RIN: "Your explanation is better than any of mine." HISAO: "Because it's true." RIN: "That must be it." I carry on eating the food before it gets cold. The wall offers a bit of blessed shade as the sun revolves around the dome of the sky. But the afternoon is already slowly making way for the evening so our lunch becomes more of a dinner. Or whatever the word is for an irregular meal like this. Despite what I decide to call it, it certainly hits the spot. I haven't eaten a bit since forever. … My appetite filled, I let out a satisfied sigh. Rin hasn't eaten all of hers but seems to be done with her food as well. I lean back, taking in the atmosphere. The crowd has thinned already, but the activities are still going. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. And why not? It's warm, the kind of perfect summer day when it's hot but not too hot for comfort. The sun will set soon. Time really has flown by. HISAO: "We've been sitting here for six hours." RIN: "Yes we have. Do you want to do something else now?" HISAO: "No, not really." RIN: "Me neither." She adjusts her position and leans against the wall, and I follow her lead, relaxing my own body. For minutes on end, we sit there without saying a word. I'm trying to feel Rin's mood from her demeanor, the tension of her muscles, the tiny expressions fleeting on her face. It's no use. She's unreadable as always. (Crowd Sounds) .png) The crowd swells to and fro, people happily chattering with each other. Very few people pay real attention to the mural, and even less to us. I fiddle with a few odd pebbles absentmindedly. The act of doing something just for the sake of doing something, the pinnacle of idleness. Inch by inch, the sun creeps lower and lower towards the treeline, changing the color of the sky close to the horizon from golden yellow to orange and red as the moment of sunset draws near. I feel like my stomach is filled with lead after eating so heavily, but the brick wall feels surprisingly comfortable against my back. I try to fight against the drowsy feeling that is overwhelming me, to no avail. (Silence, Crowd Sounds Stop, Fireworks Noises) .png) I wake up with a start. A low boom reverberates through the school grounds. Afterimages of bright sparks flash through my vision like stars. Something rises towards the skies from the direction of the sports field. A tail of fire trails behind it until a burst of red and yellow flame lights the sky high above the school with another loud boom. .png) Fireworks. The sudden flash of light against the canvas of the night sky awakens me to realize that it's actually dark already. How long did I sleep? I feel groggy and can't feel my right arm. As I attempt to flex it, I realize why. Katawa Shoujo OST - Aria De l’Etoile .png) Rin is leaning heavily against my shoulder, almost falling on my lap. She is fast asleep, not even fazed by the fireworks. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes are peacefully closed. A sleeping child-like face of the innocent. I shake Rin gently with my free arm, trying to wake her up or failing that, move her so that my other arm is liberated from its pinch. Rin's face twitches and her eyelids shut tighter, as if to resist against waking up." She gradually opens her eyes but keeps them half-closed, letting the light from the fireworks sneak just past her eyelashes so that her green irises mirror the bright flashes of the explosions, then looks up at me and frowns. RIN: "Just a while longer, okay?" Rin's voice is drowsy and slow, leaving her almost unintelligibly muttered words hanging lazily in the air. It seems she is not entirely aware of the situation. Rin's head drops back on my shoulder as she leans against me with all her weight. She snuggles against my side, trying to make herself comfortable but making me feel very uncomfortable at the same time. I become intensely, almost painfully aware of Rin's warm body and the deep, peaceful movement of her chest against my arm, her breathing soon returning to the even rhythm. I can't help admiring her gift for sleeping, or the ease of mind of hers to use someone she has known for less than a week as a pillow. The rockets rise up to the sky one at a time, breaking into flowers of red, green and gold, accompanied by the oohs and aahs of the audience. I try to push Rin's disconcerting proximity out of my mind, for what can I do about it? I just hope her short while really is that. One by one, the glittery bursts are born and die in a blink of an eye, coloring the dark night sky into a constantly changing abstract painting. I listen to the low booms of the explosions and Rin's quiet breathing, trying to clear my own head of the post-awakening disorientation. Thankfully, just a while longer really proves to be just a while, as Rin stirs from her slumber and wakes up again before the fireworks are over. RIN: "I fell asleep." She finally opens her eyes completely and blinks a few times. HISAO: "You fell asleep on top of me. Twice." RIN: "You didn't like it?" HISAO: "Err..., well..." Despite the inconclusive stammering, Rin sits upright, drawing herself away from me. HISAO: "Well, you are heavy." It's a lie, she weighs next to nothing, but I have to get a jab back at her, even if it's under the belt. My mock protest fails to draw any reaction as Rin's attention draws upwards, to the flashes of the fireworks. She seems hypnotized by the colorful play of the explosions. A slight tingling sensation goes up and down in my arm as blood starts to circulate again. It's unpleasant but it helps me to get rid of this dizzy feeling. More and more rockets rise up to the sky, the bright colors of their explosions reflecting from the clouds. Both of us stare at the fireworks fixedly through the canopy of the trees, enthralled by the show. We would get a vastly better view of the sky if we moved even a couple of yards, but neither of us bothers to even suggest it. RIN: "I really do like fireworks, even though looking at them makes me feel kinda sad, I think. It's like they want you to look at them so bad so they are loud and bright, but when someone looks, they are already gone.” .png) RIN: "It's like they were not even real." … HISAO: "They are real, I can tell you that. All of this is... real, you know? If you think about it, nothing really lasts for long. Even something like my life or yours is just a blink of an eye in the history of everything, like one of those rockets. Poof, and we're gone. But we're here, aren't we?" Yeah, this is reality. Rin, sitting next to me, the loud bangs of the fireworks, the vast, unlimited sky. These things are definitely real, even though they won't stay here forever. I feel warm inside, and I wonder if it's because Rin is so close to me or just the feeling of being alive. RIN: "I don't really know what I should say next." HISAO: "It's all right... maybe I'm just talking to myself. But you know, fireworks are pretty... but in the end isn't it somehow silly to spend so much money on a fraction of a second worth of pretty sparkles?" Rin rips her gaze off the still ongoing spectacle and leans backwards, looking at me with a repulsed face. RIN: "Wow, I never expected you to be such a cynic." HISAO: "Cynic is a pretty harsh word. Rather than that, I think of myself as a realist." RIN: "Isn't a realist just the word for what a cynic calls himself?" (Fireworks Sounds Stop) .png) The final rocket goes out with a bang of silver and blue, leaving the grounds eerily silent for a moment until the crowd starts moving towards the main gate like a cattle herd. Wisps of gray smoke drift towards the dorms from the sports field. The pungent, sulfurous smell of gunpowder it carries along feels like it sticks to my hair and clothes. HISAO: "Was that it?" RIN: "I think so." I stand up and stretch my sore back. Sleeping against a brick wall wasn't such a good idea after all. Rin stands up as well and turns to face me, with an expectant gaze on her tired features. Although she seems to have trouble focusing her eyes, she is looking straight at me, something I feel has not occurred too often in the past week. HISAO: "Umm...so..." I suddenly realize we have been almost on a date here, as if by accident. Even if we did nothing. But it wasn't... so why blood is rushing to my cheeks and my speech stammering? I don't know what I should say, especially since it seems Rin is waiting for me to say something, but luckily she solves my problem for me. .png) RIN: "Good night, Hisao." She gives me one more lingering look, measuring me from tip to toe, turns around on her heel and skips off, disappearing into the crowd. … (Silence) HISAO: "Okay... Good night." I'm left standing there, giving my response to the cooling night air. Sigh. The festival turned out to be nothing like I expected. I ended up spending all day in one spot with Rin, even though neither of us agreed on nor suggested that we do anything. I just didn't have anything better to do and evidently, neither did she. Rin's warmth lingers for a while longer in my body before disappearing into the falling night. END OF ACT 1
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Nov 29, 2021 15:25
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Compared to Shizune's route, Rin's goes from 0 to 60 real fast. It's not quite the "suddenly, anal" of Emi's route, but still, Hisao notices Rin is an attractive and warm girl at least slightly before he noticed Shizune was kinda cute. And I feel Rin and her head full of sky. Although my head is more like a billiard table. Or a particle accelerator.
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Nov 29, 2021 17:27
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quote:RIN: "Hisao, you might not want to hear this or maybe you do, I don't know, but it doesn't matter and even if it would you are not leaving me any choice. I'm having my period and I need some help regarding that. However, I don't feel that our relationship is yet on the level where I could allow you to pull my underwear down in the girls' toilet even if you offer to. That's why you should stay here while I go and look for Emi." Probably the most upfront and honest bit of communication from anyone in this game so far. Rin's route is difficult, but her personality makes it such a treat. quote:HISAO: "Well, you are heavy." You suck at this Hisao.
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Nov 29, 2021 17:44
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