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I'm actually curious how he would have hidden his company in the gigantic forest. Like, there's the city/colony and then a solid, wild, forest all around right? How do one march a company of mechs into that without leaving a easy trail of downed/trampled trees to follow? Assuming of course that mechs can just travel for days, pushing through trees big enough to hide them from the sky, without rapidly suffering some sort of damage and-No, no must not bring realism into-Argghllllhgh 
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Dec 30, 2011 18:22
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Pimpmust posted:How do one march a company of mechs into that without leaving a easy trail of downed/trampled trees to follow? This is actually explained. Rose (or rather: Angus) lead the Thorns into a river first and then snuck into the forest at a point that would've been difficult to find. Then they proceeded to leave a massive trail even an idiot could've followed. Also, Borghese has no spy satellites or anything since it's a backwater.
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Dec 30, 2011 18:29
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To be fair to him, Rose can *probably* count to fifteen and determine that the number of mechs on the planet is "less than fifteen" and thus a Trinary is the logical absolute longshot estimate that the Jade Falcons will send, if only because they may as well not waste the other five dropchutes on that Union C.Axe-man posted:I think it has been confirmed that either one or more of the people are "bronies" in the PR/developer department, or at least very internet savvy to recognize the meme. Arquinsiel fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Dec 30, 2011 |
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Dec 30, 2011 18:31
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A tree isn't likely to be too large compared to mechs, especially an 80 ton charger. The largest they'd probably have to go through would probably be in the area of 20-30tons, and a good couple kicks and/or laser shots could take care of it fairly easily. They would, of course, leave a trail like no other, so I don't know what's up with that.
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Dec 30, 2011 18:31
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Let’s Read: Main Event (part 31) Chapter 31 The Cedars, Borghese 19 July 3055 Days elapsed since book start: 343¼ Mercenaries recruited since book start: 6 Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1 Things accomplished since book start: 1 ( Protagonists introduced since book start: 8 Protagonists mentioned but not yet introduced: 1 Antagonists introduced since book start: 3 Antagonists defeated since book start: 1 Chapters spent on Northwind: 5 Chapters spent on Solaris: 10 Chapters spent on Outreach: 4 Chapters spent on Borghese: 13 It took four days in the field with inadequate repair facilities to get every `Mech fully functional in time for the CLIMAX with [INSERT CLAN BLOODNAMED WARRIOR HERE]. The pilot of the BattleMaster refuses to give up his machine (his personal property, incidentally), but Rose refuses to let him have it letting us add ‘thief’ to the list of things Jeremiah Rose won’t shy from in order to be an rear end in a top hat to people. They couldn’t get the BattleMaster to work since it was still keyed to the original pilot, so Rose asks Ajax to torture the information out of the pilot. He doesn’t do that, but it’s implied that he does. Ajax, being not an imbecile, most likely just used his status as ‘sneaky Capellan murderer’ to scare the information out of the pilot whose life he saved. They jury rig a cockpit for the Marauder II out of the remains of the Stalker, Awesome, and Zeus. I’m sure that won’t have any negative impact on the Marauder’s performance (it doesn’t). It’s then learned that the Clan forces consist of one Trinary of `Mechs and a second Trinary of Elementals, so Rose’s estimate of one-to-two Trinaries was correct. Rose then commits the planetary militia as a distraction force, allowing them to return to Houston under a heavy Clan escort. They will all most likely be slaughtered en-masse once the fighting begins, but they’re not actually members of the Black Thorns so gently caress them. The then walk into the city and immediately come under attack from a pair of Dasher (Fire Moth)s. They proceed to kick Rianna’s rear end, even though a solid hit from anything should be enough to knock out a Fire Moth. The author then commits the cardinal sin of not understanding how light works. Main Event posted:[Rose] carefully aligned the crosshairs of the targeting computer, then fired. By the time the lasers reached the OmniMech’s position, however, the Dasher was no longer there. LASERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. Also, for a 0/2 pilot with pulse lasers and a targeting computer, Jeremiah Rose’s hit rate is still something like 12%. He only hits with his LRMs. Rose then straight-arms a Fire Moth and kills it. Angus kills the other because he’s actually semi-capable (he dies by the end of the chapter). Rose then tells Ajax to turn off his Guardian ECM for some inexplicable reason. I… there’s no advantage to doing that, you stupid gently caress! I can only imagine Ajax replies with a ‘Yes, sir!’ and promptly ignores the order. The Black Thorns move into the city, and they detect three incoming assaults. Brilliant tactician that he is, Rose orders Angus to jump his Valkyrie to the top of a parking garage to identify Clan positions. Angus spots three Warhawks then takes a Clan ER PPC to the head and dies instantly.  Ajax then announces another `Mech incoming, one that weighs a hundred tons. Rose then jumps on the radio to beg his girlfriend for help. Then the chapter ends.
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Dec 30, 2011 18:44
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This ends with them all being murdered by the Clans, right?
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Dec 30, 2011 19:20
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Zeroisanumber posted:This ends with them all being murdered by the Clans, right? If by 'them' you mean the printed words on the page and by 'Clans' you mean PTN's zippo, then yes.
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Dec 30, 2011 19:40
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Nevets posted:If by 'them' you mean the printed words on the page and by 'Clans' you mean PTN's zippo, then yes. Surely a Clan zippo lighter would only generate half as much fire?
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Dec 30, 2011 19:57
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 This book only makes sense if done South Park style, with Cartman as Rose.
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Dec 30, 2011 20:01
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Wait a second, all that damage from the previous battle did mess up the mech's good but isn't the reason why they move because of the feedback from the Neurohelmets? Wouldn't that mean that some of them should have been hurt? Oh, Rose, you loving retard, you don't order someone to jump-jet on to a roof when there are several mech's converging on your position, especially clanners! 
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Dec 30, 2011 20:07
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Cloud Potato posted:Surely a Clan zippo lighter would only generate half as much fire? Twice as much flame and heat, but the lighter never gets warm.
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Dec 30, 2011 20:12
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Cloud Potato posted:Surely a Clan zippo lighter would only generate half as much fire? But I'm pretty sure it's an IS zippo, which means it's been passed down from generation to generation but rarely used since no one knows how to refill it.
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Dec 30, 2011 20:30
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The factory is long-gone, and Comstar murdered the last man to remove the lid.
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Dec 30, 2011 20:31
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I like that the Clans over-commit resources just to make sure that Rose gets to Deus Ex his way out of this.
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Dec 30, 2011 21:10
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PoptartsNinja posted:
Either this is the worst ever cameo for the Descent series* or else this applies: Malachite_Dragon posted:With every successive chapter, my urge to find the man who wrote Main Event/Jeremiah Rose into existance and break his kneecaps grows. Actually, that probably applies either way. *That game series has THE slowest loving lasers ever.
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Dec 30, 2011 21:32
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So, uh...who decided that Jeremiah Rose was a 0/2 pilot anyways? Based on this book he sounds far more like a 5/2, if not worse.
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Dec 30, 2011 22:16
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Arcturas posted:So, uh...who decided that Jeremiah Rose was a 0/2 pilot anyways? Based on this book he sounds far more like a 5/2, if not worse. He's got a loaded set of dice. Lots of 2's and 12's, not much in between.
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Dec 30, 2011 23:19
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Arcturas posted:So, uh...who decided that Jeremiah Rose was a 0/2 pilot anyways? Based on this book he sounds far more like a 5/2, if not worse. It's the "canon" piloting based on a source book.
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Dec 31, 2011 00:00
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Wait, if this planet is considered a backwater, then why the gently caress are there so many mechs on it? Why do the clans care about taking it at all? How did they even scrape together the funds to hire the Black Thorns? God this book is so loving stupid.
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Dec 31, 2011 00:51
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paragon1 posted:Wait, if this planet is considered a backwater, then why the gently caress are there so many mechs on it? Why do the clans care about taking it at all? How did they even scrape together the funds to hire the Black Thorns? God this book is so loving stupid. Well I think it was a backwater considering the great houses, but for the clans it is a strategic planet because of jump drive limits or something. (refueling stop)
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Dec 31, 2011 02:00
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paragon1 posted:Wait, if this planet is considered a backwater, then why the gently caress are there so many mechs on it? Why do the clans care about taking it at all? How did they even scrape together the funds to hire the Black Thorns? God this book is so loving stupid. The planet falls behind the main line of defense systems wise along the Lyran-falcon border. Taking the planet would provide a system the falcons could use to bypass the main Lyran border defenses and strike in the rear. Battletech campaigns look an awful lot like the island hopping campaigns of the ww2 pacific theatre.
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Dec 31, 2011 02:39
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Let’s Read: Main Event (part 32) Chapter 32 The Cedars, Borghese 19 July 3055 Days elapsed since book start: 343¼ Mercenaries recruited since book start: 6 Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1 Things accomplished since book start: 1 ( Protagonists introduced since book start: 8 Protagonists killed: 1 Antagonists introduced since book start: 3 Antagonists defeated since book start: 1 Chapters spent on Northwind: 5 Chapters spent on Solaris: 10 Chapters spent on Outreach: 4 Chapters spent on Borghese: 13 Who’s ready for a poorly-written, dramatic cliffhanger? Yeah, me neither. Rose starts this chapter the same way he ended the last one: begging McCloud to come save his worthless rear end. We then learn that somehow, fixed-wing atmospheric aircraft are vulnerable to VTOLs and AeroSpace fighters. Huh. Oh, wait, Hearts of Chaos proves this entirely wrong, so I’m starting to wonder if Victor Milan, the author of the 17th Recon books, may have been taking a less-than-subtle jab at Jim Long by stealing one of his plots and rendering it fun and interesting. Rose then does the one thing that should guarantee failure: he splits his command and sends them after the various advancing Clan elements. A Timberwolf (Mad Cat) takes several hits, and then Antioch starts dueling it with his Banshee. Rose then DFAs a Summoner (Thor), since physical attacks are the only things that seem to work for him. Just like his previous charge attack on the Stalker, Rose falls on top of the Summoner and magically manages to crush it and then pass out because the author has realized how little space he has left and can’t be bothered to describe much of this fight. Rose has been unconscious for, quote, “only ten minutes.” So, 60 turns, give or take. The Clans have retreated with the Summoner down and a badly damaged Timberwolf, and Esmeralda can’t talk because her radio broke. Casualties so far: Angus. Rose then gives the order: charge forward mindlessly and get to the HPG to warn the Federated Commonwealth. Oh, and Rose’s DFA has crippled his leg again so he’s back to being a 2/3. Great planning, idiot. He then sends McCloud in to draw fire and shoot up the Clans while his people move into position to prepare to engage. She takes a ton of fire and severe structural damage, then single-handedly kills a Warhawk with a single AC/20 shot. Somehow. Then she starts to crash, since her jet is on fire and wasn’t built to withstand fire from six Clan Omnis. Then her cockpit catches fire, and she has nowhere to land. Also, no ejector seat since a Mechbuster is a suicide assignment. Main Event posted:Rose wanted to scream, but he tried to think instead. We’re going to be here for a while. Main Event posted:There had to be something he could do. There isn’t. He tries to speechify Rachel to inspire her with the power of his Ego (it works for Duke Nukem!) Main Event posted:“Rachel, I know you can do something, even though I don’t know what. You can’t die now, Rachel. I need you here, I love you.” Then she crashes, and he contemplates charging to the crash site to make sure she’s OK and letting everyone else die (our hero); but the Clans are advancing and he has to fight. CHAPTER OVER. One chapter left, and it’s precisely 11 pages long. We still have 14 Clan Omnis and 25 Elementals to kill, a Jade Falcon antagonist to introduce, we need to to somehow deal with Crenshaw, and we also need room for a dénouement. I wonder what we’re not going to get? Beyond, y’know, the satisfaction of a well-plotted and paced story. We lost the rights to that when I picked up ‘Main Event.’ Oh, and the planet is strategically important to the Clans because it is ‘behind enemy lines.’ It’s a good staging area for raids and—ergo, the ‘reason’ the Preservationists want to invite the Clans in (to spare the planet the ravages of war) would just get them counter-invaded by the entire AFFC and they’re NOT going to be able to convince the Clans to ‘just go along with it.’ In other words, they’re retarded and their motivations make no sense. Oh again: there was a picture of a badly damaged Marauder IIC in this chapter, but I'm leaving it out since AT NO POINT DO THE JADE FALCONS FIELD A MARAUDER IIC.
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Dec 31, 2011 03:20
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PoptartsNinja posted:
More proof that Victor Milan is a bad-rear end. His Dark Age books are pretty good as well.
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Dec 31, 2011 04:02
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Let’s Read: Main Event (part 33) Chapter 33 Houston, Borghese 19 July 3055 Final Tally (spoilers): Days elapsed since book start: 343¼ Mercenaries recruited since book start: 6 Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1 Things accomplished since book start: 1 ( Protagonists introduced since book start: 8 Protagonists killed: 1 Antagonists introduced since book start: 3 Antagonists defeated since book start: 1 Chapters spent on Northwind: 5 Chapters spent on Solaris: 10 Chapters spent on Outreach: 4 Chapters spent on Borghese: 13  “I don’t even show up in this novel!” I’m ready for this to be over. Jeremiah Rose seems to be also, and charges at the remaining Clanners (who have been handwaved down to three or so in number). He pretty much trips over a Timberwolf in a city park, and Rose suddenly develops plot-omniscience. Main Event posted:Like ancient gunfighters, the two `Mechs squared off briefly. The civilians thought the move was perfectly normal, but Rose knew it was a quirk of the meeting. … Not even ‘Rose wondered if the civilians would think it perfectly normal,’ just boom. Rose knows what everyone around him is thinking. He’s Professor X, except he can walk and he’s probably legally retarded. Rose then shoots the Timberwolf in the head with four medium lasers (total damage: 20). This isn’t enough to kill the Timberwolf (somehow) which shoots the hell out of him. Rose then kicks the Timberwolf’s leg off and somehow nearly falls down himself (HOW?!). Rose then jumps towards two Warhawks and fires missiles into their backs while they’re busy hunting Bell and Hawg. In the process, Rose blunders into a nest of Elementals As they tear his `Mech apart, he says ‘gently caress it’ and fires his LRMs at the Warhawks again, killing one. Then an Elemental rips into his cockpit and Number of times Jeremiah Rose has fallen over in two fights: 4-5ish? Maybe 6? Main Event posted:This time, Rose managed to remain conscious and felt every blow his body received on impact. The Charger bounced slightly and slid a few meters before coming to rest. […] He pulled off the neurohelmet and looked around the shattered cockpit. Seeing the protruding laser of the crushed Elemental within easy reach, Rose sat the helmet over the end. Dickhead. The Elementals then turn and run because Hawg kills the last Warhawk. Rose then runs over to Hawg and his BattleMaster and we are told that the pro-Clan faction has local infantry defending the ComStar compound, and Ajax is ‘scouting’ it. And by ‘scouting’ I mean he wants this book over as much as we do, so he’s shooting the hell out of them with his Raven so he can send Rose’s message to the Federated Commonwealth and get the gently caress off this planet of crazy imbeciles. The Black Thorns then bum-rush the HPG. Rianna does the only thing she’s managed to do successfully since the book started and machineguns one guy who has a man-portable SRM launcher. Of course, she only does that after he shoots her `Mech in the head with it, but still it’s a moral victory which is one more than she’s ever had before. The Black Thorns then send a message to the AFFC, which decides to send a regiment to relieve them. Meanwhile, the Jade Falcons have come to the same conclusion I have: Borghese loving sucks, and the Inner Sphere can keep it and all its entire batshit-crazy populace. We learn this on the very last page of the novel, which also serves as the denouement. Main Event posted:“Councilwoman de Vilbis is calling the Clan arrival an invasion and the Preservationists [pro-Clan faction] a terrorist organization. Rianna called for the police to pick up the prisoners.” I mean, only Angus died and he was barely a character at all. That, incidentally, was the ending of the book. So, what happens to the Black Thorns in the exciting sequel? You probably don't care, and neither do I. So I'll spoil it: They go to Wolcott and take contracts to attack the Smoke Jaguars (who were being established as the ‘designated whipping Clan’ in the same way the Capellan Confederation were the ‘designated whipping Successor State’ at the time). There, we are presented with an actual antagonist and honestly the pacing’s a lot better. Jeremiah Rose is still a colossal dickhead, but an expanded cast of characters makes the story suck a little less. As for the current Thorns, well: Angus – Stays dead. Rianna Rose – gets her rear end kicked a lot, recruits some people including a woman named ‘Kitty’ who pilots a loving Panther. Hawg – Lives. I think. Maybe he dies. I don’t remember, he doesn’t do much. Antioch Bell – Becomes Jeremiah Rose’s personal bodyguard due to his Ajax – Barely does anything, is still a better character than everyone except… Badicus O’Shea – Dies (killed by Elementals) Esmeralda – Suicides into the Smoke Jaguars because she was in love with Badicus O’Shea and he died. Jeremiah Rose – Gets to drive a loving Warhawk and kills the ‘evil’ Smoke Jaguar Elemental Star Colonel in the climax of DRT by shocking him in a pool of water and stabbing him in the eye-socket with a screwdriver. Rachel McCloud – Barely appears in the novel, gets pregnant. Edit: Oh, and in case you were wondering? 11 of 33 chapters are marked 'nothing happens' which feels about right to me. This book was 33% unnecessary filler. PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Dec 31, 2011 |
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Dec 31, 2011 08:41
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I feel empty now.
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Dec 31, 2011 08:53
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I feel like I haven't had enough Alcohol today, to recognize the book actually exists.
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Dec 31, 2011 09:01
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paragon1 posted:I feel empty now. Given an opportunity to rewrite it, I'd have established some sort of actually Clan antagonist (rather than leaving them as a band of faceless emotionless robots for Jeremiah Rose to martyr himself on), given Crenshaw an actual reason for his asshattery (his motivations are... what now? Ooooh, he's actually an ex-Wolf's Dragoon from the Cameron bloodline who retired and is really just sick of the state of affairs in the Inner Sphere and dreams of his glory days with his old Clan? That would make a lot more sense, a pity it isn't true), and then made the story convincing rather than contrived. And I'd've given it reasonable pacing rather than trying to cram everything into the last few chapters. But that's just me. ... Maybe I'll try to make it suck less by writing a short story for BattleCorps about a trinary of young Jade Falcon trainees who were invited to Borghese and got killed by stick-waving Inner Sphere barbarians.
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Dec 31, 2011 09:10
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I would have introduced a Clan PROtagonist that would loving murder the antagonist of the story, Jeremiah Rose, and burn down the entire planet. The End. But that's just me 
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Dec 31, 2011 10:12
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Clanners can't be protagonists except in awful Thurston novels, though. As the protagonist the reader needs to have them as a window to see the world through and Clanners aren't even human.
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Dec 31, 2011 10:48
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Pimpmust posted:I would have introduced a Clan PROtagonist that would loving murder the antagonist of the story, Jeremiah Rose, and burn down the entire planet. Sounds like a Ned Flander's retelling of the story to me. ".. and so Harry and all his wizard friends burned in hell for practicing witchcraft." *tosses the book into a roaring fire* Which admittedly sounds just fine.
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Dec 31, 2011 10:48
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So the conflict was worth it for the planet just because his battered girlfriend didn't die... does Rose have offspring running around?
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Dec 31, 2011 11:05
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cheer up guys there is some good news. The Black Thorns just happen to be posted on Galedon V when it simultaneously gets nuked plagued and nerve gassed by the blakists during the jihad.
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Dec 31, 2011 11:28
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The reason they died there is because nobody but the hack who wrote these books remembered the Thorns existed (hence, why they don't show up in any subsequent publications). When some fan asked what happened to them in the Jihad because he was dumb enough to care, TPTB responded "uh, dead, we guess."
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Dec 31, 2011 11:36
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A happy ending after all 
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Dec 31, 2011 12:52
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Hallelujah!  Words cannot contain my joy at this news. Still wanna break the kneecaps of the rear end in a top hat who created Jeremiah Rose and the Black Thorns to start with, though. You can't do poo poo like that and not get consequences.
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Dec 31, 2011 13:00
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Nevets posted:He's got a loaded set of dice. Lots of 2's and 12's, not much in between.
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Dec 31, 2011 15:10
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Nuked, gassed and plagued? That does make me feel better! I just hope Rose's children were there... I feel horrible for saying so, even for characters, but it would probably be for the best. cwDeici fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Dec 31, 2011 |
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Dec 31, 2011 15:25
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PoptartsNinja posted:Rianna Rose – gets her rear end kicked a lot, recruits some people including a woman named ‘Kitty’ who pilots a loving Panther. Didn't the editor also change her name to Riannon for no reason in the sequel? I once owned both Main Event and DRT and want to thank you for this trip down memory lane. I can't remember, does Main Event explain how, exactly, the remaining Clans left Borghese? Given that reinforcements would take weeks or months to arrive, and the Clans aren't the type to just say "welp, that dishonourable mercenary says reinforcements are on their way, guess we'd better leave," what are they supposed to have done? Has the author forgotten there were two full Trinaries on-world and just decided that all the Clan forces have been defeated? Or did the Falcons actually just decide they didn't want the world anymore (and why would they do that)?
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Dec 31, 2011 15:29
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Carbolic posted:Didn't the editor also change her name to Riannon for no reason in the sequel? They probably worked up avoidant syndrome or killed themselves in shame. I can't believe those books have fair to middlin' rates at Amazon... well, actually I guess there's worse around I've seen that still didn't get two stars.
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Dec 31, 2011 15:54
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For those interested, the Black Thorns got their own sourcebook/scenario pack back in 1994. Lowlights include actually talking about Jeremiah Rose; highlights are that it was the first appearance of several mechs - the Grendel, the Kingfisher, the Shadow Cat and the Shootist. Oh, and some SERIOUSLY early 90s artwork for characters. I mean, this is their portrait for Rose: 
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