UFC on ESPN 9: Woodley v Burns, Ivanov v Sakai, Chookagian v A. Shevchenko

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC on ESPN 9: Woodley v Burns, Ivanov v Sakai, Chookagian v A. Shevchenko

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LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Brut posted:

Keep in mind that of Woodley's now 25 fights, 23 of them are either in Strikeforce or UFC, that dude has a contract probably roughly similar to Oveereem's, it's gonna take more than an eyebrow cut to get him to retire.

And anyone who's heard him rap knows he doesn't give a poo poo about being embarrassed.

I would be surprised if Woodley was making more than 2k fighting on those Strikeforce Challengers cards

# ? May 31, 2020 04:58

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# ? Jun 18, 2024 03:42

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Considering his fifth fight, on a proper Strikeforce card earned him 7.5/7.5, yeah, 2k is probably right.

# ? May 31, 2020 05:02

Bluedeanie: Jul 20, 2008; It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wfYIMyS_dI

# ? May 31, 2020 05:03

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

sage sez:

tits out for twood

https://twitter.com/sagenorthcutt/status/1266802330189651969

# ? May 31, 2020 05:04

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

LobsterMobster posted:

sage sez:

tits out for twood

https://twitter.com/sagenorthcutt/status/1266802330189651969

lmao

# ? May 31, 2020 05:09

Shadow225: Jan 2, 2007

What is Sages SMV rating

# ? May 31, 2020 05:11

FishBowlRobot: Mar 21, 2006

Dan Didio posted:

Really distressing to see Tyron Woodley fall victim to that very specific type of aging where you lose in the exact same way you always have.

Lol, yeah. I would have really appreciated it if he had the decency to get finished in the first, but this is good too.

# ? May 31, 2020 05:13

FishBowlRobot: Mar 21, 2006

Shadow225 posted:

What is Sages SMV rating

Through the roof, baby. If you have to ask, you can�t afford him.

# ? May 31, 2020 05:14

Shirkelton: Apr 6, 2009; I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

We'll always have the Koscheck knockout, folks.

# ? May 31, 2020 05:16

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Shadow225 posted:

What is Sages SMV rating

$1.5m insurance value. it was established years ago (shoutout to fantastic sasmma/PSP poster and GDT op GOAT bluedeanie)

Bluedeanie posted:

Lightweight

https://i.imgur.com/YNZeNYL.jpg
Sage Northcutt

vs.

https://i.imgur.com/hAGBtE7.jpg
Cody Pfister

Sage Northcutt, now that’s a specimen. Undefeated as a professional at just 19 years old, he has clearly earned the adoration of his bosses in the UFC (and possibly brief training partner Georges St-Pierre, if Willie-Dee’s hunch is correct.) He came in and smashed his opposition, an overweight stoned Mexican who slipped in the middle of the Octagon, and for this he is declared the greatest fighter of our generation and the next GSP. While I’m inclined to think this is an overvaluation, he’s definitely got what it takes to move a pretty penny on the Sexual Market. The spiked, bleached hair and smirking smile of a “straight twink turned gay” fantasy, with the rippling and unnatural teenage musculature of a boy groomed to fight from birth by a literal steroid and cocaine dealer. Currently enrolled in college as a petroleum engineer, we can rest assured he is cooking up new and exciting KY jellies we can all enjoy in the future. While some may be concerned with his likely unnatural makeup, rest assured this does not harm his SMV: very few fighters are made up of natural ingredients, and this is considered commonplace by avid collectors. ASSESSED SMV: $1.5 million insurance

His opponent, Cody Pfister, evokes a grittier, less glamorous, more pedestrian brand of homosexuality. A self-assured doofy smirk that says “yeah, I’m down.” A grinding, gasping, prolonged affair against a strange Cuban in Las Vegas. A career so unnoteworthy he has yet to earn a Wiki, ensuring complete anonymity. Being nicknamed “the Pfist” completely unironically. He’s expected to lose his bout badly and doesn’t have many people excited, which certainly doesn’t boost his SMV, but true connoisseurs will likely find something to deem him worthy of adding to their collection, if not in a showcase position. ASSESSED SMV: $1,000 auction

# ? May 31, 2020 05:31

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# ? Jun 18, 2024 03:42

SA Forums Poster: Oct 13, 2018; You have to PAY to post on that forum?!?

LobsterMobster posted:

sage sez:

tits out for twood

https://twitter.com/sagenorthcutt/status/1266802330189651969

HAHAH he's doing the Workaholics squinty eye pose

# ? Jun 1, 2020 19:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC on ESPN 9: Woodley v Burns, Ivanov v Sakai, Chookagian v A. Shevchenko

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