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  Grizzwold posted:You heretics may have the rest of the cour fooled, but I'm wise to your games! You seek to usurp God Himself and put mere mortals in His place! As the members of the Haute Cour get up to leave after the proceedings a courtier of Josselin's rushes to the podium to make one last announcement: "His Elected Majesty notes the hateful and vindictive words espoused by many of the lords and ladies of this Body who follow the heretical faith of Old Catholicism. He notes it with sadness that despite the failure of the so - called Christian monarchs of Europe and the Papacy in Rome, each fell before the Mongols. Some, like the prior Pope at least stuck to their beliefs before their martyrdom. Others so hastily converted, I don't think there isn't a Hapsburg that isn't Tengri by this point. That is why a council was called to mend those of the Catholic and Jaffite faiths together. Pope Leo spurned it along with our offer for safe haven, choosing to hide in the cellars of Rome as the Mongols look for His Holiness. Even now, as we seek to train up more of the faithful in Jerusalem to help defend us from Mongolian aggression these heretics would rather rage impotently than help our Empire out! This anger and bitterness is leading to such in-fighting among us Catholics that it will surely lead to our downfall against the Mongols before their Horde even sees the House of Groves. His Elected Majesty has time and again offered his hand in peace only to be spurned and spat on by these zealous heretics. His Elected Majesty, understanding the need for tolerance among all faiths (even including heresies), he will not ask any of his vassals to convert, although any willing to convert of their own volition will be welcomed warmly. However, in order to procure this war effectively he needs absolute trust from those close to him. That is why His Elective Majesty Josselin will be invoking his royal prerogative by asking his courtiers that worship christian heresies such as Old Catholicism to convert to the true Reformed Catholic faith. Any courtier who does not follow the Christian faith - including but not limited to our Muslim and Jewish brothers and sisters (including those of the Mohammedanist sect), are exempt from this prerogative and are free to practice their faith in peace." HiHo ChiRho fucked around with this message at 19:12 on May 27, 2020 |
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May 27, 2020 19:00
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  While I "appreciate" our Emperor Preferent's wisdom and guidance in excepting adherents to the Mohammedan faith to convert, I must point out that we are just as Christian as the Reformers. The Reformed Christians seek to deepen their understanding of their faith, but maybe to their own detriment. Allah and Jesus look upon all equally, rich or poor, commoner or descendents of the "angel" Godefroy. We recognize the supremacy of Allah and the Trinity while following the words of the Prophet, in the knowledge that this is but another step in fully understanding His magnificence. But to force another on this path, without their consent or understanding, does not make your faith stronger but cheapens it, and also goes against our Kingdom's founding principles of tolerance in our land. Without that, we would be no better than the Mongols in Europe.
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May 27, 2020 20:36
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  Patrician Simon of Merchant House Konopka I find it odd that our good emperor has been met with such venom over so minor an issue. Did not the last sovereign of Jerusalem murder and consume his courtiers, to the full knowledge of this body? I know of several members of this Cour, I have a list of their names, who have followed in this despicable tradition. Yet when the Emperor Preferant Josselin simply makes a request, and indeed a request is all it is, to his own courtiers that they accept the reforms passed in the Synod of Jerusalem he is besieged with bile and acrimony. Why? Why this anger over how a ruler conducts his own court, a right which, if denied to any of you, would be met with cries of tyranny? Because the issue for these troublemakers is that for the first time in a long time they did not get their way. It's as simple as that, ladies and gentlemen of the Cour. These contentious swine would rather see the gates of the holy city thrown open and the horses of the Mongol horde making GBS threads on the steps of the Holy Sepulchre than admit openly that for once they did not get what they wanted out of a session of the Cour. I say if they are so favorable to cannibalism and so keen to aid our enemies, let them ride out to meet the Khan with an apple in their mouths and spits up their asses! Clayren fucked around with this message at 23:15 on May 27, 2020 |
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May 27, 2020 23:10
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 Not gotten what we want for ONCE? How long have the Jaffites and their allies held a commanding presence in the Cour? Need I remind you that the Brotherhood of Jaffa and its successor parties have often been among the largest parties, while loyalists to Rome are seldom if ever given voice? And when we speak against what we see as an ever approaching damnation, we are treated with all the respect of something unpleasant upon a boot! Commanded to die for our concern over the souls of the people! Now we see truly the reformed faith for what it is, a refutation of Jerusalemite tolerance and a bludgeon against the enemies of the Emperor.
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May 27, 2020 23:37
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Glad to see the 
SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 23:42 on May 27, 2020 |
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May 27, 2020 23:40
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Probably going to end up more like the Albigensian Crusade than the 30 Years War at the rate things are going though 
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May 27, 2020 23:42
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I think the current emperor needs to actually survive the next session before he goes demanding people convert. Also, I’m stepping down as leader of AGT.
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May 28, 2020 13:37
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Ralepozozaxe posted:I think the current emperor needs to actually survive the next session before he goes demanding people convert. Also, I’m stepping down as leader of AGT. Your spinning of my prerogative is creative but incorrect. I am sorry that the majority of the Haute Cour find it tyrannical that I should ask my personal courtiers to pray with me, considering they usually just eat theirs.
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May 28, 2020 13:51
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Then why doesn't the new kind emperor demand that any jaffite courtiers convert? They continue to kill our people, including our pope, even in such dire times. If new catholicism was all about coming together as it says, it would call out and crack down on the old jaffite faith that has been the most violent towards it.
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May 28, 2020 13:57
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The prerogative as written does include courtiers who are followers of Jaffism, as that is considered a heresy under the Reformed Catholic faith. I was a Jaffite since the beginning, so have no fear that I won't attempt to bring my wayward brothers and sisters back into the fold. And pinning the blame of violence solely on Jaffites is pathetic. The Old Catholics rose up against Pope-King Guillaume almost immediately. Perhaps if they turned their wrath outward to the Mongols their pope would be sitting in the Vatican once more. HiHo ChiRho fucked around with this message at 14:12 on May 28, 2020 |
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May 28, 2020 14:09
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The Recess of 1230 * Order assassinations on the war claimant, join a defensive pact against the mongols, move the Emperor-Preferent to a safe location out to sea  * Take out all loans, hire the mamluks, PPP and holy orders * Form a new holy order called the Knights of the Thorn, at a new castle in Jaffa and led by Emperor Josselin's son  * Extraordinary war powers are granted to the Emperor-Preferent, as detailed here  * Replace Prince Michael as Commander * Rename the Empire - "Dominion of Jerusalem" * Adopt the Motto - "And Yet, Jerusalem Prevails" * Appoint a Reformed Catholic to the bishopric in Jerusalem * Give Patrician Jakob the Nickname "Eggtooth"   Chapter 28 – At Famia – 1230 to 1235 In the Year of our Lord 1230, swift messengers carried the orders to every castle and keep, city and town, village and hamlet in the Empire – the Mongol was here. This war was obviously in retaliation of the assassinations of their Great Khans, but the lords of Jerusalem decided that it could only be settled by sending more assassins, this time to murder any claimants and perpetrators of the war.  The first assassin, highly-reputed and experienced, failed miserably.  The second didn’t fare much better.  The third tried to ambush his target, only for him to escape after being wounded.  But the fourth, at long last, managed to steal into the Mongol camp, thread his way through uncounted numbers of tents, and slit the throat of the Khan in the dead of the night.  Of course, the alarm was raised and he was seized while trying to escape. The coward babbled like a baboon, and another declaration of war quickly followed.  This war was going to happen, and with me nearing on a century lived, it would certainly be my last war. So this was the moment I chose to unfurl my new heraldic device – the parrot of Carpenel – in honour of the strange talking bird that followed me back from India.  At the same time, the levy was raised and loans were taken and mercenaries were recruited. A new holy order was even formed in Jaffa – the Knights of the Thorn – a knightly order charged with the defense of Christian lands against the pagan, and led by my own son and heir.   Slowly but surely, dozens of nobles wound their way to the rallying point in Syria. With them they brought their knights and levies, so that as the campaigning season of 1231 began, almost 70,000 troops were mustering around Aleppo.  The levies from Armenia, Syria and Jerusalem formed an army led by Prince Geoffrey of Palmyra, while those from Egypt and Arabia were commanded by Prince Centule of Alexandria, leaving a third force of mercenaries and knights under Grandmaster Jean of the Knights of the Thorn. This was the largest force ever raised by Jerusalem, and they were ready for the fight to come. The Mongols, meanwhile, were already on the move, as raiding parties wreaked havoc across Armenia and plunged deep into Syria, burning and plundering and looting. We met them in battle, of course, with some of the skirmishes going our way, and others not so much.     Taking a defensive stance, I carefully delegated my extraordinary war powers to my commanders, who kept a wary eye on raiding parties and stayed in close contact with one another, ready to converge on a single battlefield anywhere in Syria. I then went on a retreat to my estates on the coast of Jaffa, where I could pray for wisdom and guidance.  Over the next couple years, the remnants of once-great Christian realms dotting Europe joined us in defense of our faith, and news reached us of great battles and uprisings against Mongol rule all across the world.     One of the many rumours that reached me was, incredibly, the death of the Great Khan! Murdered by his own brother!   A few months of calm followed, and with our treasury nearly tapped dry by greedy mercenaries, some lords raised the question of seeking peace with this new Great Khan… but that hope was quickly snuffed out when he crossed into Syria in March of 1234, at the head of an army.  And not alone, as he was soon followed by tens of thousands more…    And as he marched on a small patch of desert called Famia, a place we would make famous, we were ready for him. Led by the lame parrot of Carpenel, the colours and arms of almost every great house of Jerusalem, Egypt, Syria, Arabia and Armenia were flying at Famia – the lion of Blaiddyd, the swan of Boulogne, the frog-and-weed of Konopka, the eagle of Rammala, the bull of Torchitoriu, the dragon of Dreaux, the gazelle of Zahum, the three ravens of Cynwrig, the star-and-crescent of Andirsun, the cross of Toulouse, the three clams of Thermidor, the fox of Margrave, the fleur-de-lis of Abrão, the three stags of Brienne, the drake of Marash, the lightbeam of Blois, the serpent of Cathay, the cross-and-crescent of Asqalan, the unicorn of Montseguir, the three lions of Estrid, the twin daggers of Mersir, the stallion of Avaugour and all the rest.                            And just a few miles from them, the Great Khan had gathered the entire strength of the Mongol Horde – almost 80,000 ferocious horselords, flying ugly banners and screaming in strange tongues only a field away. The very next day, the Mongols crossed that field and met Jerusalem in battle.  …  …  And, after weeks of vicious fighting, Jerusalem prevails.  Tens of thousands died over those weeks, with Princes of Jerusalem and Khans of Mongolia leading desperate charges and counter-charges, with dozens of Jerusalemite nobles and Mongol noyon losing their lives as their positions were overrun, with scores of knights and commanders captured and brutally executed in brief moments of respite. But when the morning sun rose on the 8th of March, 1234, the Great Khan dipped his banners and ordered a retreat.  We raided and harried at the Mongol force as they withdrew, and when the Great Khan finally retreated into pagan-lands, a great wave of celebration roared across the Empire.    The victorious princes and nobles feasted at every castle and town they passed, and when they triumphantly entered the capital almost a month later, they were still singing a song that would reverberate across the centuries – “And yet, Jerusalem prevails!”   With his last war at an end, Josselin Carpenel retired to his family estates in Hebron, where he dies a peaceful death just a week later.  But his legacy would live on, as from ports on the Black Sea to the great fortress overlooking the Straits of Mandeb, he would be venerated and revered as Saint Josselin, patron of pirates and secrets.  
hashashash fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Oct 1, 2020 |
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May 28, 2020 14:32
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HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!
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May 28, 2020 14:41
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Rulers of History - A blog by Virginie Battier Saint Josselin "The Pirate", First Emperor of Jerusaelem  Emperor Preferent Josselin's life was like most men of the House of Carpanel after the successful crusade of Jerusalem in the year <insert date here>: A mere count in a court full of bickering Princes, managing to get by with mere obscurity. His predeccesors tended to die young, usually before the age of 40, leaving regencies or untested young Carpanel men ruling Hebron, further compounding their ability to ever truly grow in power. If there was a curse upon the Carpanel line, Josselin must have broken it, though. Josselin came of age at 16, with his father dead at 33 "attending to chamber business", and a chunk of coin and a small bit of land to his name. Josselin converted early on to be a Jaffite, one of the first followers of the small sect during the reign of Queen Aurengarde, who came into power after the deaths of her father and husband. Count Josselin joined her in the Fourth Crusade, fighting fiercely outside the walls of Mecca. Count Josselin watched his Queen get wounded grievously in a duel and wept for her, despite their victory.  After 23 years of rule in Hebron, Count Josselin was called by his liege to participate in the three way civil war against King Severin. Ever being loyal to his lord, Josselin answered the call. It didn't work out too well for Josselin.  Even worse for Prince Morydd though, who was forced to watch within the castle walls the armies of Severin surround them, as he lay dying of the plague. After the failed rebellion, Count Josselin needed to turn to do something. Even if the King provided leniency to the lower Counts, he was likely still pissed Count Josselin revolted against him, so his future prospects within the court were rather limited. It was the Cross Millitant that became his outlet for activity. That brotherhood filled in for his deceased fathers and brothers. Count Josselin didn't know it at the time of joining the society, but it would prepare him for the decades of strife and conflict to come.  So Count Josselin continued on working behind the scenes as a good commander, zealous heretic of the Jaffite faith and member of a secretive society that provided drastic solutions when the bickering of the lords of Jerusalem in the House of Groves went nowhere. Right up until Mad King Archie kicked the bucket, then they finally came to a decision, to his surprise. One where a lowly Count was thrust onto a throne because Josselin was the safe choice - someone old, crippled, unambitious and with little power. Except, that last little bit wasn't entirely accurate.  An 80 year old king with piss poor deuling skills couldn't win the war with Yemen on his good looks alone and the opposing king just dying of a freak accident at the best time during the war.  Count Josselin wasn't just any member of the Cross Millitant, you know.  Thankfully history gets to see the irony of a man like Teruworq, who was known as "The Cold", meet his demise with a branding.  So the King of Jerusalem is an 80 plus old man, laden with gout and missing limbs, but also secretly the Grand Master of a society of Jaffite assassins that makes it point across by planting nice little crosses on people's foreheads. It certainly makes navigating the chaos of the Haute Cour much easier, especially when you decide Jerusalem has seen enough of being a kingdom and to formerly announce it an Empire. The records here get spotty on the actual name, variously going between "Empire of Arabia", "Empire of Jerusalem", and a bunch of funny latin names like "Sacrum Status Medialis". What we know for sure is that the Zealous Jaffite, sensing opportunity with his friends and allies, calls together a Synod to reform and unite Christianity. Josselin knew that Pope Leo wouldn't leave a Mongol held Rome without being given a proper title fitting his position, so it was the Jaffites who controlled the Synod, and were able to push out a Reformed Catholicism keeping much of their beliefs intact. His friend, Guillame the king of Armenia became the new faith's Pope-King and coronated Josselin as the first emperor of Jerusalem. Then, Guillame lost a rebellion and became Pope-King. The Emperor Preferent Josselin couldn't do anything to help his friend, but the Grand Master Josselin? Plenty of Cross brands to go around to traitors!   Revenge complete, Josselin and Guillame then went on a crusade, taking much of India and giving it to a very large son of Josselin's. His very large son thanked his father and then promptly went about scheming to become even more powerful. Surely nothing will ever come of this down the line. All of this raiding of the coasts, along with the unfortunate maimings had people start calling Josselin "The Pirate". It was around the time of the culling of the de Boulougne's that the Haute Cour took notice of all the brandings and decided to do something about it: By picking out a bunch of refugee knights to investigate the Cross Millitant. It went swimmingly for those knights, if swimming involved getting branded with crosses on their foreheads, of course.   During Josselin's brandings, apparently someone else in the Cross Millitant got tired of branding children and took care of Guillame with a nice cross branding, with a boy younger than 10 leading the faithful of Reformed Christianity, because that makes sense. Josselin was hurt deeply by the loss of his friend, finding solace in a new pet parrot that he named after the Old Catholic Pope Leo, currently still chilling with the Mongols in the ruins of Rome. Josselin even commissioned a tiny pope hat for the parrot. The Parrot also really cemented Josselin's status as "The Pirate", and he did formally accept the title from his vassals, so there is that. But look, when you lose an eye, an arm AND a leg, you gotta get creative with your extra curricular activities. Such as cucking your other adult son, your HEIR, by starting an affair with his wife. I guess that third leg was gout free and still working. Since I already touched on the actual war with the Mongol horde in another blog post, I'll just get back to the good bits at the end. Josselin starts another holy order, makes his cuckold son lead it, and wins the drat war. No country in Europe was able to accomplish this. The man lives just shy of 100, and unlike most Carpanel men died peacefully in his sleep surrounded by his cucked son, his secret lover, his large adult son, and his loving Pope-Parrot in it's tiny loving Pope hat. I poo poo you not. Not even a cross brand in sight! Then, to top it all off he gets CANONIZED, to be the loving patron saint of pirates and secrets. That's your first Emperor of Jerusalem. One would think a life like that can't be topped, right? Just you wait, readers. poo poo's gonna get real.
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May 28, 2020 15:00
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May 28, 2020 15:00
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HiHo ChiRho posted:Rulers of History - A blog by Virginie Battier Nice, added to the list of write-ups in OP
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May 28, 2020 15:06
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  Count Yijian "the Enormous" of Amman/Xin Xi'an "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL GOING DELENDA EST ON loving MONGOLIA!"
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May 28, 2020 15:20
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Full list of characters will be updated tomorrow (if anyone needs theirs before then just let me know), and the session will open day after tomorrow. Casualties: - Josselin, Emperor-Preferent of Jerusalem, succeeded by King Nicolas. - Maria, Princess of Tripoli, succeeded by Prince Audoïn. - Margos, Prince of Galilee, succeeded by Countess Berjouhi (the duchy of Galilee was inherited by a son of Geoffrey of Palmyra, due to primogeniture shenanigens) - Centule, Prince of Alexandria, succeeded by Prince Humbert II. - Bricenne II, Prince of Paraetonium, succeeded by Prince Géraud. - Guilhem, Count of Acre, succeeded by Countess Gerberge. - Bohemond, Count of Al-Mafraq, succeeded by Count Clotaire. - Mikail Zahum, Doge of the Nile Republic, succeeded by Patrician Mikail. - Uluc Shukrid, Lord Mayor of Mecca and Patrician of the Red Sea Republic, succeeded by Lord Mayor Ali. - Hans Estrid, Lord Mayor of Skane and Patrician of the Oresund Republic, succeeded by Lord Mayor Benedikt. Please declare your status as an independent or faction member, otherwise your new characters will be considered independent in the Haute Cour. Politics:          
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May 28, 2020 15:23
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Oh, and the newly elected Emperor-Preferent is Count Diogo of Az-Zarqa -
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May 28, 2020 15:32
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King Nicolas will join the Faith Eternal, to follow his Sainted Father's footsteps!
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May 28, 2020 15:41
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I've read this LP over the past couple of days and I am hooked.  Just for shits and giggles, could I ask for a Welsh-culture Old Catholic courtier? (story: refugee from the Mongol invasion and the chaos thereafter). I'm okay with a newgen name, I just wanna have fun.
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May 28, 2020 16:23
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 I would like to announce my leadership of A Gilded Tommorow. It is time to regroup and rebuild now that the Mongol menace has been taken care of for now.
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May 28, 2020 16:50
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TinTower posted:I've read this LP over the past couple of days and I am hooked. Sure -  You're greedy and stubborn, but at least you've got a cool coat of arms
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May 28, 2020 16:57
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Faction Tally leading to the 1235 Session A Gilded Tomorrow (Economy/Merchantry/Innovation)  Leader: Wali-Patrician Rasul (Gigagar) Members: Count Sigismond (Technowolf), Prince Michael (Hattie Masters), Count Aymar (Slaan), Count Czyrzniech (Thordain), Countess Peronelle (Zedhe Khoja), Princess Gwen (megane), Doge-Liaison Nasraddin (WilliamAnderson), Prince Shenouti (Xelkelvos), Doge Zentulo (Ralepozozaxe), Sultan Hakam (Rody One Half), # of members/votes: 11 members, 42 votes Faith Eternal (Religious Expansionism)  Leader: Pope-Chaplain Temeluchus (Erwin the German) Members: Prince-Marshal Geoffroy (AJ_Impy), Patrician Simon (Clayren), Emperor-Preferent Diogo (Frionnel), Prince Bouchard (Captain Mediocre), King-Steward Nicolas (HiHoChiRho), Prince-Spymaster Audoïn (Lord Cyrahzax), Prince Humbert II (Flavius Aetass), # of members/votes: 8 members, 41 votes Friendly Association Against Mongolian Aggression (Sinicized Anti-Mongolism)  Leader: Count Yijian (QuoProQuid) Members: Prince-Chancellor Ghiyasaddin (Angstrom Gothington), # of members/votes: 2 members, 9 votes Party of Peter (Non-Reform Catholicism) Leader: Members: # of members/votes: 0 members ~~DANGER ZONE (will be disbanded if below 3-member threshold after this session)~~ Jerusalem Independence Party (Anti-China, Imperial Jerusalem)  Leader: [VACANT} Members: Princess Mathilde (TheFlyingLlama), Princess Cristen (Zikan) # of members/votes: 2 members, 8 votes Pro Imperio et Civitate (Internal Realm Cohesion & Development)  Leader: [VACANT] Members: # of members/votes: 0 members ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Independents  Members: Prince Raymond (i81icu812), Prince Renaud (Obliterati), Prince Boson IIl (Yavuz), Count Gerberge (VACANT), Count Sigismond (Soup du Jour), Lord Mayor Ali (mcclay), Prince Humbert (Vinny Possum), Binyamin Nasrallah (Shogeton), Niccolo Serra (rudecyrus), Javier de Bordeaux (SirPhoebos), Jovani Giaguro (JT Jag), Bogdan Ryba (fish and chips and dip), Count Mukhtar (habeasdorkus), Countess Berjouhi (Flesnolk), Prince Mathieu II (Mirdini), Prince Fredrik (Pakled), Prince Edvard II (Pacho), Princely Grandmaster Ottavio (VACANT), Queen Agnes (Jossar), Count Clotaire (Luhood), Captain Iccaam (VACANT), Prince-Advisor Humbert II (Freudian), Prince Géraud (sheep-dodger), Patrician Mikail (Grizzwold), Rhodri Radnor (TinTower) # of members/votes: 25 members, 75 votes Mirdini fucked around with this message at 11:15 on Jun 5, 2020 |
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May 28, 2020 17:09
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Count Yijian "the Enormous" of Amman/Xin Xi'an The Count of Xin Xi'an stands at his full height, towering over the small cour members. The regent moves to speak on his behalf, but the Count waves him aside. It is time for him to speak on his own. "WHILE I AM A REFORMED CATHOLIC, WE IN FAAMA ARE AN INCLUSIVE, COSMOPOLITAN PARTY. WE ACCEPT MEMBERS OF ANY FAITH, CREED, OR TRADITION SO LONG AS THEY COMMIT TO THWARTING THE SCOURGE THAT IS THE MONGOLIAN EMPIRE." "ANYWAYS, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME PITCH FAAMA TO YOU. I APPRECIATE YOUR ATTENTION."
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May 28, 2020 17:15
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TinTower posted:I've read this LP over the past couple of days and I am hooked. Yo! Welcome to the madness that is JerusalemLP (number 2). Entirely understandable if you want to work your way up from Welsh courtier to being landed like other folks were, but just in case you weren't aware there's a decent amount of open landed characters you could hop into:    The Knights are obviously the bonkers massive vassal choice, but the others are also pretty interesting imo. That being said, fair enough if you'd rather see what your Welsh courtier can get up to. Hope you enjoy following along (and possibly joining in the fun?), and if you want to get a further peek behind the curtain here's a link to the Discord. Mirdini fucked around with this message at 17:28 on May 28, 2020 |
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May 28, 2020 17:23
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 God clearly shines upon the faithful on this glorious day. On behalf on the house of Estrid, I have to ask for forgiveness due to certain commanders in our house being bribed by the Tengri Bishop of Jerusalem, coloquially known as BIG MONGOL. Luckily they were put in chains before opening the gates of Jerusalem to the Khagan and our banners stood firm and proud in Famia with the rest of our brethen. That said, while we have encouraged our liege to support the True Faith of Catholicism instead of the rebranded Jaffites, he has chosen to Join A Gilded Tomorrow, his head filled with tales of adventure and exploration of distant lands, ans seeks to emulate his forebears, and even touts the idea of a League of Explorers with the support of other merchants, keen on expanding their spice trade. With some luck, spending some time in our overseas territories with proper christians and noble heathens will make him turn away from the corrupting, but godwilling temporary, influence of heresy that has taken hold of the Holy Lands
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May 28, 2020 18:29
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TinTower posted:I've read this LP over the past couple of days and I am hooked. Hopefully this one won't end with a skull floating through space.
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May 28, 2020 18:40
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Patrician Simon of Merchant House Konopka I was born to a family of merchants, but have never had the aptitude for the accumulation of gold or the delicate arts of diplomats. I am content with my meager holdings and possessions, which I know to be so much greater than those of the commoner. I would, in truth, rather give these coins away than spend them on a new Persian rug or Egyptian dagger. This is all to say that I am a soldier who has seen the banks of the Indus and, upon returning, found myself no great wordsmith. I shall ask your patience with me in that regard. What is to be of Christendom? That is the question at hand today. There was a time when the Haute Cours main debate was whether or not the realms focus should turn eastward or inward. We tried both and meanwhile the cities of Europe burned. We can not allow this any longer, Europe must be freed from the yoke of the heathens and its people restored to the Christian flock. But it is not enough to restore, we must build a better world. Lords and ladies, we have saved Christendom. None can ever forget the Battle of Famia, the axis upon which the world pivoted. Faith Eternal intends to reshape this new world, without apology or sniveling. Join us!
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May 28, 2020 20:08
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Prince Audoin stands with the Faith Eternal!
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May 28, 2020 20:27
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Sultan Hakam returns to Guilded Tomorrow
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May 29, 2020 01:39
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Our triumph on the fields of Famia has given the wastrel Prince Humbert II of Sinai a new zeal, to take the burning sword of Christendom to the Hindu. I join Faith Eternal.
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May 29, 2020 02:40
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All character sheets are updated, along with council positions. If I missed anyone's, let me know
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May 29, 2020 14:08
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House Ua Briain will stand as Independent for now
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May 29, 2020 14:32
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Missed this at first, but Josselin founded a bloodline when was sainted -  Also, the canonization process for Reformed Catholics is a bit different than normal. Amongst other things, the Pope having a good opinion of a character can massively speed up the process, along with things like sect and so on. Godefroy was immediately sainted, obviously hashashash fucked around with this message at 14:45 on May 29, 2020 |
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May 29, 2020 14:41
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Rody One Half posted:Sultan Hakam returns to Guilded Tomorrow 
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May 29, 2020 15:11
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This came up in discord, but due to modding religions and popes etc, we've got this -  I obviously missed an is_adult trigger somewhere, but ima keep it just cos it makes sense
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May 29, 2020 19:06
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Well, every LP has to have a pope gimmick. TibetLP had cannibal popes, JerusalemLP has child popes.
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May 29, 2020 19:09
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((In a surely hotly anticipated sequel to a dumb lark I posted in the Discord at one point, I bring you...)) JERUSALEM'S TOP FIGHTERS: RANKED - SECOND EDITION a production of the Groverdrome Fightin' Scribes Guild. We do the battle calculations so you don't have to! ~Sponsored by House Blaiddyd~ Only recently departing from a period marked by numerous raids and massive wars, it may come as no surprise that the quality of Jerusalem's top warriors remains a force to be reckoned with. But can the roster of post-mongol-triumph Jerusalem outdo that of 1215-ish Jerusalem? To determine this, we got back to work on quantifying the martial prowess exhibited by our favorite Haute Cour members in battles, duels, tourney events, tavern brawls, and wherever else they might get into a fracas. New readers may question our numerical 'combat skill' measure's accuracy, but rest assured: we know our stuff! As a quick reminder to our audience ((and because it was never posted in the thread)), the prior CHAMPIONS OF CHAMPIONS were:       the noble Prince-Marshal Centule of Alexandria in 5th place, with 36 combat skill. Doge Mikail (large, in charge, and impaling and then eating his enemies) of the Nile with 42. Patrician Jakob Egge-Thermidor with 50. A tie between Count Muhammad of Baalbek & Prince Hakam Melikah at 53 skill for 2nd. And finally the master duelist Mathieu Blaiddyd was champion, with a score of 65. The poorest fighters, meanwhile, were quite understandably Ned the Kind (and blind) Estrid with a staggering -75 and our beloved former Emperor-Preferent in his prior countly guise, Josselin, with -43.   WHERE ARE THEY NOW? We don't hear anyone asking, because we're writing this on some parchment to post on the boards of the Groverdrome. Well, we all know what happened to our good Emperor-Preferent. Ned Estrid kicked the bucket a ways earlier, as did the former Doge Mikail (not to be confused with the current Patrician Mikail), Count Muhammad and Prince Centule. Indeed, of our former illustrious champions and anti-champions, only two still stand:  Formerly-Prince Hakam! Our informants tell us the now-Sultan has unfortunately been laid low by the unrelenting stress of forging and then holding his title. He seems to be suffering from a deadly cocktail of stress, depression as a result of all the stress, drink to no doubt alleviate those twin scourges, and finally that most holy of diseases, gout. Quite likely itself caused by the drink. All very tragic, we must say. But we must also move on to our remaining champion, the only one still in fighting trim!  Though he doesn't quite make it into the ranks of the ~TOP 5 FIGHTERS OF JERUSALEM~ 20 years later, likely on account of being short a leg, Jakob Egge-Thermidor remains a threat, and is only slightly behind the actual #5 fighter in modern-day Jerusalem, leaving him tied for 7th. Which brings us to the 1235 EDITION OF JERUSALEM'S TOP FIGHTERS: RANKED! And we'll open the list with our beloved anti-champions! With the utmost respect, these fine peers of the realm don't know what side to hold a sword on. But we love them for it nonetheless. We only have one entrant in this category in this edition, as the only person to come close is the poor Prince of Cairo, and singling out a child would be rather unsporting. So!  Prince Geoffroy of House Marash, congratulations on being the worst combatant in Jerusalem! Which should come as no surprise, as we all know he can't hold much of anything in that head of his, much less a sword! Well, at least he was raised right and turned out a nice boy. Unlike our 5th-placed TOP FIGHTER, next on the list!  Indeed, 'tis the newly-anointed King Nicolas of the Indus, famously speaking in tongues and doubting the word of the Lord his dearly departed father so cherished! But we certainly can't fault his work with the blade, and for that he's bagged 5th place in the realm. Of course, towering over him (and everyone else) in 4th is (you know him, you love him)...  Count Yijian 'The Enormous' d'Cathay of  Doge Nasraddin Andirsun! They don't call him "The All-Consuming" for nothing, folk of the realm, and his skill with a blade (or an illicitly acquired Mersir knife, but you didn't hear it from us!) has dispatched anyone standing in the way of his complete domination of the Red Sea. And we wouldn't have it any other way! Yet Jerusalem is ever a land of contrasts. Who could conquer (in our calculated estimations) the arbitrary, cynical, deceitful, masterfully scheming Doge? Why, of course, it's...  But this, of course, brings us to the 1235 TOP FIGHTER OF JERUSALEM, dear readers! Just barely missing out on rivaling the inaugural champion, we offer hearty congratulations to...  Patrician Simon of House Konopka! What more can we say of Simon? Already the top duellist in the Groverdrome at age 34, and a brilliant trade maven to boot! Don't let that sneer or his... peculiar sense of etiquette drive you away, for he's a sight to behold! We wish him the best in his future endeavors, and hope to see him in the Groverdrome again soon! That's it for this edition of the now-vicennial JERUSALEM'S TOP FIGHTERS: RANKED! We look forward to informing you all once more in 1255, and until then - keep fighting! Mirdini fucked around with this message at 09:24 on Jun 21, 2020 |
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May 29, 2020 20:32
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Ahhh look at the blood splattered all over my face! I think third is pretty good.
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May 29, 2020 20:59
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| # ? Jun 16, 2024 20:09 |
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  "I'm much to busy leading our forces in defence of the Oresund to worry about one-on-one fights. My master strategems and angelic leadaing (and singing) voice are all I need. Which is more than I can say for my southern Nile cousin..."   "I'm going through a lot, ok? Eating is all I got going for me right now, and when you run the biggest food buisness in the world there is no short supply of whatever your heart desires."  (someday I will surpass these old fools. They are already well past 30, practically dead!)
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May 29, 2020 21:11
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