BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

DannoMack posted:

Trade

Dammit you were supposed to trade with me!

# ? Jun 9, 2015 21:24

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 03:21

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XVI, Week 18: Chai!

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

NINE CONTINUE FIGHT TO KEEP SEASON ALIVE WITH 3-2 WIN OVER ORANGES

Florida City- It looks like despite the best efforts of the other three teams in the Memento Mori Division, the Slaughterhouse Nine aren't dead quite yet.

With a 3-2 win today in Florida City, the Nine stand just 1.5 games back of the Detroit Wolverines for third place in the Memento Mori Division. If the Nine are able to climb into third place, they will be able to avoid demotion and remain in the Super-League for Super-League XVII,

No doubt that Monicro would have preferred a more decisive win, of course. While the Oranges are, somehow, the reigning Vae Victis Division Champions, they have become, to put it nicely, tag team specialists who have had difficulty handling the better teams in the Dynamo League. They are not, it must be said, among the elite in the league, and had the Nine dispatched the Oranges by a larger margin, say 9-2, or even 6-2, it would have likely left a better impression.

As it happened, the Nine were not able to take the lead until the final inning of the game when the Oranges' bullpen suddenly turned wholly ineffective, allowing two singles and then walking two straight batters to force in the winning run for the Oranges. The Florida team, never known for timely hitting, or, for that matter, for untimely hitting either, could not re-tie the game in the bottom of the ninth, and the Nine escaped with the win.

"What a great day!" Monicro said after the game, "I don't want to make this all anime-y, but I feel like it's up to me to stick up for anime in this thread, since Smasher Dynamo, and I say this with all the respect in the world, is an evil anti-anime bigot who refuses to concede that anime can be art. But I understand, a lot of people out there are like Smasher. They don't see how anime can be true art, and think that it's little better than weird Japanese cartoons that are designed to steal money from pathetic losers by cynical animation studios. At least, that's what Smasher told me when I asked him about it."

"But Smasher is wrong about anime, just like he was wrong when he said that my team had no chance of being successful. And I can prove it, because I just saw that greatest anime ever, and it's so great that it proves that the entire genre is, like, super-artistic and stuff. So, the name of the anime is Twilight Hearts of the Lost Generation. But, well, that doesn't sound so good, but only because English isn't as refined a language as Japanese, so the translation is a little clunky. Anyway, so the story is that 1000 years ago, in feudal Japan, there was this samurai, and he was betrothed to a princess, but before they could wed, the princess was killed by an evil ninja, because the ninja was secretly in love with the princess himself, and so wouldn't let the samurai, who was his rival, marry her. Or, at least, that's how it seems when the story begins."

"So, the samurai pursues the ninja through Japan, and he eventually makes it up to the ninja's hidden fortress up in the mountains, where the ninja is waiting for the final confrontation between them. They fight it out, but the ninja isn't as good a swordsman as the samurai, because ninjas aren't as good at that as samurai. Anyway, the Samurai stabs him right through the heart with his sword, and is satisfied that the princess has been avenged. But the ninja then reveals that as the samurai was trudging through the mountains to reach the ninja, the ninja had managed to shoot him with a dart carrying deadly poison, hoping that, by the time the samurai reached him, that the poison would have weakened him enough so that the ninja could beat him. It didn't, but it's still potent enough that the samurai is going to die. The ninja then dies, and the samurai starts to feel the effect of the poison, but decides to take the ninja's sword, as well as his own, and throws them in a nearby lake before finally succumbing to the poison."

"A thousand years later, the samurai gets reborn as a Japanese schoolgirl, who keeps having these dreams of her former life as a samurai. One day, a new girl comes to school, and it turns out that this is the princess who has also been reborn as a Japanese schoolgirl. The samurai schoolgirl is confused by her feelings towards the new girl, and then, oh yeah, so, like the school they all go to is pretty close to where the samurai fought the ninja 1000 years ago, that's kind of important. Anyway, the samurai goes to talk to her best friend about the problem, but her best friend just makes fun of her, because the story sounds crazy."

"So, one night, the samurai goes to the lake where she...he...she threw the sword into the lake 1000 years ago, and dives in and retrieves her sword, which just makes her more confused since, you know, the fact that the sword was where she put it in her dream, and also really exists, means that her dreams have some basis in reality, and she doesn't know what that means. But that's the point where she starts to think that the new girl might actually be the reincarnation of the princess, which is also deeply confusing to her."

"The samurai talks with her best friend about what's been going, because she needs to talk to someone, and her best friend laughs it off again, because, as the best friend reminds the samurai, it still sounds ridiculous, but then the best friend, one night, goes to the lake, and pulls out the ninja's sword, because it turns out that the best friend is actually the reincarnation of the ninja, and declares that, for the world to be saved, she will have to kill the princess once again before it's too late. And it goes on from there, and it's great, and you should all watch it!"

Meanwhile, oldskool drank about ten beers in the locker room waiting for a chance to talk to the media, since Monicro's seemingly endless discussion of the anime he had recently seen went on for so long. "Oh, dudes, yeah, we lost, and that's pretty sucky." oldskool said, finishing beer number eleven, "But you know what, gently caress it! I don't need to win a lot of games to make myself seem cool! I know that I'm cool, and there's nothing that any of you dudes can do that will change that, because the Oranges are the loving best, and I don't care what the wins say."

oldskool pulled out another beer, "We're going to be the best team ever, and I'd like to see the entire world try and stop us and then we'll see who the real good team is." oldskool, having had a fair amount to drink, began to slur his words. "Woo! Spring break!"

GAME NOTES

-The Oranges' Mike Piazza experiment has gone terribly wrong. Fortunately, that will be fixed for next season. In the alternative, the Oranges' are really good at making good catchers hit really poorly.

-Jimmie Dykes started at third base because George Kell exploded.

-Eddie Rommel almost blew the save, showing that Monicro still hasn't quite got the kinks worked out of his bullpen.

-Nap Lajoie status: Still a deadball fielder.

Box Score

Don May posted:

WHERE IS THE MASKED SHORTSTOP? KERNELS WIN 3-1 WITHOUT TEAM CAPTAIN

Mitchell- Though the Kernels yet again prevailed against the Knights, there was not much cheer in Mitchell, as the Kernels once again found themselves without the Masked Shorstop, the captain of the Kernels as well as the team's star.

Where exactly the Masked Shorstop is remains unknown as of press time. What is known is that, prior to this series against the Knights, the empty cowl of the Masked Shortstop was found hanging in his locker, while its wearer was nowhere to be seen. Had the Masked Shortstop abandoned the team? Or was his disappearance the result of violence, perhaps from the enigmatic man in the skull mask who seems to have made the destruction of the Kernels his chief goal. Was the Masked Shortstop hurt? Was he dead? Was he on vacation?

With all of these questions swirling about, it is perhaps not surprising that the Kernels' hitters were flat throughout most of the game. Jack Glasscock, for all of his virtues, of which one assumes that, despite not having shown any promise as a hitter or fielder, must exist somewhere, is nowhere near the same caliber of leadoff hitter as the Masked Shortstop, and the Kernels' offense suffered for it, failing to score a single run until, in the bottom of the eighth inning, the Kernels were finally able to string together enough offense to score three runs, which proved to be enough to defeat the Knights, who were having a down day of their own.

"Man, I can't believe that the Masked Shortstop has abandoned us." The Only Nolan said after the game, "Or maybe got kidnapped. Or killed. Really, I have no idea what happened to him. He just kind of disappeared."

"Yeah, it is a problem." Kernels Owner Charles Foster Balla agreed, "The Kernels can't possibly win the division without the Masked Shortstop." CFBalla pondered that sentiment for a moment, "Actually, we probably can. The Wolverines are cursed ever since that thing."

"The curse is fitting punishment for cbx's indiscretion in the graveyard." The Only Nolan said solemnly.

"I don't think any sane and decent member of society would disagree with that." CFBalla agreed. "That leaves the Phantoms, who are not terribly good at baseball in general, and the Nine, who, well, I'm sure you read Monicro's latest dissertation on his animes, and I don't think that kid is winning the division this season. Which leaves us. Who have a ten game lead with eight weeks left in the season. So, I think we should be able to survive the mysterious disappearance of the Masked Shortstop. Besides, I'm sure it will end up like that Death of Superman comic, where Superman just popped right back up at the end of the story, right as rain."

"But before Superman came back, there was that storyline where all of those imposter Supermen appeared. Like the Cyborg Superman, and the Eradicator, and Steel, and Superboy." The Only Nolan said, concerned. "And one of them was evil!"

"Was it the Eradicator?" CFBalla asked. "The Eradicator sounds pretty evil."

"No, it was the Cyborg."

"Wait, so the cyborg, built from pieces of Superman, turned out to be evil?" CFBalla, and most others, needed the clarification.

The Only Nolan shook his head, "No, it only appeared that the Cyborg Superman was made out of the parts of the dead Superman, it actually turned out that he was Hank Henshaw."

"Who?"

"Right, so a couple of years before the Death of Superman storyline, there was a story where a group of four astronauts went into space, got bombarded with cosmic rays, and returned to Earth with fantastic powers. It was a Fantastic Four pastiche in the Superman comics. In that story, the four astronauts' powers eventually killed them. Except Hank Henshaw, who had some sort of technology powers or something, and was driven insane. And then came back as Cyborg Supermans."

CFBalla stifled a yawn, "Okay, fine if someone shows up claiming to be the Cyborg Masked Shortstop, I'll be sure and have him properly vetted. In any event, assuming that the Masked Shortstop hasn't been retroactively erased from history, which would cost us some wins. But that probably won't happen."

"Probably?" The Only Nolan asked, worried.

"Well, the Masked Shortstop is a super-hero, which would leave him vulnerable to being retconned out of existence. It very well could happen. I used to have a lot more daughters before the latest Crisis. I still feel conflicted about that. On the one hand, having your children cease to exist is always tough. On the other hand, it makes holidays easier. Less congested, you know?"

"I don't think I do know. So, what about the Masked Shortstop?"

CFBalla smiled, "Oh, I'm sure he'll show up in due time. In due time."

GAME NOTES

-George Brett is trying, okay! He's trying drat it! He got two walks in today's game! And a caught stealing, but don't focus on that, focus on the walks! THE WALKS!

-Exactly two members of the Kernels got hits in today's game. Normally, that would spell disaster for a team, but the Kernels are evidently made of sterner stuff.

-As it happened, the Kernels also got lucky in swapping Jesse Haines for Dennis Leonard, as Leonard was able to keep the game in control in the later innings, allowing the Kernels to steal one.

-PUD IS COMING BACK!

Box Score

Don May posted:

CROWS EDGE RAKERS 8-7, HULKAMATT INSISTS THAT, PER SPINOZA, VICTORY FOR CROWS PRE-ORDAINED

Kobe- It was a profoundly frustrating day for the Rakers.

The Rakers, as they have been for most of the season, have been chasing the Dragons for the Norris-Smythe Division lead, and it looked like they'd be able to scratch out a win, as they historically had had little trouble doing, against the Crows. With a 6-5 lead in the bottom of the ninth, they need just one more good inning, and it would be over.

And in seasons past, it's hard to see how the Rakers would have had much problem. Sadly for them, before Super-League XVI, as part of his greater plan to create chaos in the Super-League, mrnoun traded Josh Gibson, bona fide Super-League star, to the Crows. Having a legitimate offensive weapon gave the Crows just the edge they needed today, as Gibson hit a long double to score the tying run in the ninth.

But the Rakers, always a resilient team, did not fold, and retook the lead in the top of the tenth, grinding home the go-ahead run on a sacrifice fly, and then easily getting the first two outs in the bottom of the tenth. And that's when things went terribly wrong.

On what should have been the final play of the game, Nap Lajoie grounded to the third baseman. But Wade Boggs missed the throw the first, and Lajoie took second. After an intentional walk to Jason Giambi, which, given what was to come, seems rather unwise in retrospect, Alan Trammell and Nomar Garciaparra hit back-to-back hits, scored two runs, and stole a win from the Rakers.

"It's me, it's me, its Hulka-M-A-Double T, and I'm here to break this win down!" HulkaMatt said with a triumphant tone to start his press conference. "See, a lot of people out there are going to say that my team showed the will to win, and that we had to reach down deep to win, but the reality of the situation is that we had no choice but to win, and the Rakers could do nothing but lose!"

"See, back in the day, Rene Descarte came up with his big fancy idea of mind-body dualism, that there was an immaterial mind and a material body, and while the mind and body could not function without each other, they were not of the same substance. But not everyone was ready to give up on monism, especially my man Spinoza."

"Spinoza said that the idea that there were separate substances for the body and mind wasn't right, not even a little, but that everything in the universe was really just a mode of the same underlying substance, that of nature or god, or whatever you wanted to call the great foundation of all existence. It's all part of the same thing. There's a difference in type between mind and body, but they're both just emantions from the same substance that the universe is made of."

"Now, what that also means, is that since the entire universe is essentially all modes and attributes of a single underlying substrate, is that there's a certain deterministic consistency to be had. See, accoridng to Spinoza, the entire universe is the result of an infinitely complex cause and effect relationship, and we are all bound by that same chain of causation that stretches from the beginning of the universe to its end. According to Spinoza, God, which is just another name for the underlying substance of all that is the origin of all, doesn't make decisions, it doesn't take an active hand in the universe. Nah, man, everything that happens is because of necessity."

"But where does that leave you and me and the Crows? Well, it turns out that our illusion of free will is really just a reflection of the human mind's inability to fully understand the complex desires and urges that spur it on to action. Everything we do is caused by some innate impulse that we don't control, but when we don't understand what that impulse is and why it is forcing us to do something, we ascribe our actions to free will, because we can't understand why else we acted on that impulse except for some independent act of will. Of course, that's not real, determinism is the rule in the universe."

"What this means for the Crows is that the game went the only way it could have happened. Us making those comebacks, it wasn't because we were cool, though we are a pretty kick-rear end team, it's because, when the great web of causality came into being at the second the universe was born, a series of actions and reactions were set into motion that inexorably led to us showing the Rakers who the top diggity-dog in the Super-League is. And can you dig that, sucka?"

gingemidget disagreed, "I believe that man has free will. For example, one day very soon, HulkaMatt will have his choice of whether or not I rip out his left kidney or his right kidney. I should rephrase, he'll have the choice of which he asks me to save, I suppose I'll be the one making the ultimate decision as to which of his organs I rip out. Frankly, I'm apt to choose to rip out both of his kidneys. One for each of his damned comebacks."

GAME NOTES

-Not a good day for Wade Boggs.

-Jason Giambi, walk-drawer.

-Joe Morgan was scratched due to injury and replaced by Nomar Garicaparra, whose chief qualification in terms of playing second base is that Nomar has played several positions that are, spatially speaking, quite close to second base.

-Elam Vangilder almost blew the game for the Crows! And, given his name, I can only assume that, in his offtime, he owns a 19th century factory staffed entirely by orphan labor. And he probably doesn't pay the orphans well at all.

-Mariano Rivera: One pitch, one win.

Box Score

mentholmoose's manifesto posted:

45. Any of the foregoing symptoms can occur in any Super-League, but in modern "industrial" (because, with the advent of Super-Reference, the name seems appropriate) Super-League they are present on a massive scale. We aren't the first to mention that the League today seems to be going crazy. This sort of thing is not normal for the Super-League. There is good reason to believe that primitive Super-League owner suffered from less stress and frustration and was better satisfied with his way of life than modern owner is. It is true that not all was sweetness and light in the primitive Super-League. Abuse of new owners was common among the early Syndicate, Bruzerism was fairly common among the older Leagues. But is does appear that GENERALLY SPEAKING the kinds of problems that we have listed in the preceding paragraph were far less common among primitive owners than they are in the modern Super-League.

46. We attribute the social and psychological problems of the modern Super-League to the fact that the moder Super-League requires people to live under conditions radically different from those under which the Super-League evolved and to behave in ways that conflict with the patterns of behavior that the team owners developed while living under the earlier conditions. It is clear from what we have already written that we consider exposure to gimmick stadiums as the most important of the abnormal conditions to which the modern Super-League subjects owners. But it is not the only one. Before dealing with gimmick stadiusm as a source of social problems we will discuss some of the other sources.

47. Among the abnormal conditions present in the modern industrial Super-League are excessive density of teams, isolation of owner from natural team building, excessive rapidity of Super-Reference collating and the break-down of natural small-scale divisions such as the old Senor Goodtimes.

48. Gimmick Stadiums provide the most important examples of the Modern Industrial Super-League. Some gimmick stadium builders claim that they are motivated by "curiosity," that notion is simply absurd. Most gimmick stadium buildiers work on highly specialized stadiums that are not the object of any normal curiosity. For example, is Quaker, or McFreeze, or gingemidget curious about the properties of
the new Moonchild? Of course not. Only mrnoun is curious about such a thing, and he is curious about it only because the Moonchild is his surrogate activity. Is mrnoun curious about the
Leftorium? No. That question is of interest only to Pander, and he is interested in it only because left-handers are his surrogate activity. If mrnoun and Pander had to exert themselves seriously to obtain the survival in the Super-League, and if that effort exercised their abilities in an interesting way but in some non-gimmick stadium pursuit, then they couldn't give a drat about the new Moonchild or the Leftorium. Suppose that lack of left-handers had led Pander to become a normal owner instead of a leftist. In that case he would have been very interested in power hitters, but would have cared nothing about the Leftorium. In any case it is not normal to put into the satisfaction of mere curiosity the amount of time and effort that gimmick stadium builders put into their work. The "curiosity" explanation for the gimmick stadium builders' motive just doesn't stand up.

49. The "benefit of the Super-League" explanation doesn't work any better. Some experimentation has no conceivable relation to the welfare of the Super-League - most of the later Syndicate activites, for example. Some other areas of Super-League experimentation present obviously dangerous possibilities. Yet owners who experiment in these areas are just as enthusiastic about their work as those who develop new methods of lineup building or fix their bullpens. Consider the case of Marauder, who had an obvious emotional involvement in promoting Syndicate ownership. Did this involvement stem from a desire to benefit the Super-League? If so, then why didn't Marauder get emotional about other Super-League crises? If he was such a good owner, then why did he develop the Syndicate? As with many other Super-League achievements, it is very much open to question whether the Syndicate actually did benefit the Super-League. Does the achievements of the Syndicate outweigh the occupation of so many slots in the Super-League? Marauder saw only one side of the question. Clearly his emotional involvement with the Syndicate arose not from a desire to "benefit the Super-League" but from a personal fulfillment he got from his work and from seeing it put to practical use.

50. The same is true of Super-League experimenters generally. With possible rare exceptions, their motive is neither curiosity nor a desire to benefit the Super-League, but the need to go through the power process: to have a goal (a Super-League problem to solve), to make an effort (research) and to attain the goal (solution of the problem.) Experimentation is a surrogate activity because scientists work mainly for the fulfillment they get out of the work itself.

51. Of course, it's not that simple. Other motives do play a role for many experimental owners. Money and status for example. Some gimmick stadium builders may be persons of the type who have an insatiable drive for status (see paragraph 49) and this may provide much of the motivation for their work. No doubt the majority of experimenters, like the majority of the general population, are more or less susceptible to the lust for titles and need said titles to satisfy their craving for recognition. Thus experimentation, and specifically gimmick stadium building is not a PURE surrogate activity. But it is in large part a surrogate activity.

52. Also, Super-League experimentation constitutes a mass power movement, and many owners gratify their need for power through identification with this mass movement.

53. Thus gimmick stadium building marches on blindly, without regard to the real welfare of the Super-League or to any other standard, obedient only to the psychological needs of the owners and of the Smasher Dynamo who allows such stadiums to be built.

54. As explained in above, the modern owner is strapped down by a network of rules and regulations, and his fate depends on the actions of Smasher Dynamo, who is remote from him, and whose decisions he cannot influence. This is not accidental or a result of the arbitrariness of arrogant bureaucrats. It is necessary and inevitable in any technologically advanced Super-League. The system HAS TO regulate owner behavior closely in order to function. In running a team, owners have to do what they are told to do, otherwise the Super-League would be thrown into chaos. The Modern Super-League HAS TO be run according to rigid rules. To allow any substantial personal discretion to team owners would disrupt the system and lead to charges of unfairness due to differences in the way individual owners exercised their discretion. It is true that some restrictions on our freedom could be eliminated, but GENERALLY SPEAKING the regulation of our teams by the rules of the Super-League is necessary for the functioning of the industrial-technological Super-League. The result is a sense of powerlessness on the part of the average owner. It may be, however, that formal regulations will tend increasingly to be replaced by psychological tools that make us want to do what the Super-League requires of us.

55. The Super-League HAS TO force owners to behave in ways that are increasingly remote from the natural pattern of owner behavior. For example, the Super-League needs experimenters and gimmick stadium builders. It can't function without them. So heavy pressure is put on owners to act in these fields. It isn't natural for an team owner to spend the bulk of his time sitting at a desk absorbed in the Super-Reference. A normal owner wants to spend his time in active contact with his team. Among primitive owners the things that owners were trained to do are in natural harmony with natural owner impulses. The Elder Bobbleheads, for example, just put cool players together -- just the sort of things that owners like. But in our modern Super-League, owners are pushed into studying technical forms of team-building, which most do grudgingly.

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

David Wright hates you.

Analysis

The Coldplayers need to beat the Commission next week to stay above water.

Analysis

I'll make my decision regarding the Cultists soon enough.

Analysis

A pair of perfectly acceptable outings for Spahn.

Analysis

That Pedro, man.

Analysis

Wilhelm has not been great.

Analysis

The Oranges' c does not function.

Analysis

Is Joe Wood's timeout over yet?

Analysis

Bizarrely close to the wildcard race.

Analysis

In theory, a lackluster week. In reality, we're a month past it really making a difference.

Analysis

Crows are natural survivors. In the real world, and the Super-League.

Analysis

It'll be a bit before this team gets another day off.

Analysis

DO BETTER!

Analysis

The Masked Shortstop will be back next week.

Analysis

Right.

Analysis

DOA!

Analysis

Another week, and the title is still there.

Analysis

The Losers could use a bit more consistency. Or maybe just more wins.

Analysis

Get the concession speech ready.

Analysis

The Nine are doing a bit better, but the season's not nearly over.

Analysis

With two months to go, the Pirates have clinched a winning record.

Analysis

Not a good week to have a bad week.

Analysis

The Marmosets are reeling, but no one in the Dynamo League is mounting much of a challenge to them.

Analysis

The Rakers need to just take the division already.

Standings

# ? Jun 9, 2015 22:24

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Well, now that everyone has had a chance to weigh in, and most of you are telling me I shouldn't do that trade...naturally, I accepted it.

For the Great Googly-Mooglies:

- Don Drysdale to the DL
- Daniel Bard to the minors
- Jacoby Ellsbury up from the minors

New lineups!

vs RHP

1. RF Larry Walker
2. CF Mickey Mantle
3. DH Jeff Bagwell
4. 1B Adrian Gonzalez
5. LF Gary Sheffield
6. 3B Edgar Martinez
7. C Ernie Lombardi
8. 2B Pete Rose
9. SS Joe Cronin

vs LHP

1. SS Joe Cronin
2. CF Mickey Mantle
3. 1B Jeff Bagwell
4. DH Edgar Martinez
5. LF Gary Sheffield
6. RF Larry Walker
7. C Ernie Lombardi
8. 3B Chipper Jones
9. 2B Dustin Pedroia

Additionally, please have Carlos Ruiz be the personal catcher for Walter Johnson.

New pitching staff!

SP1 Felix Hernandez
SP2 Cy Young
SP3 Steve Carlton
SP4 Walter Johnson
SP5 Nolan Ryan

CL Joe Nathan
SU Dwight Gooden
SR Cole Hamels
SR Bill Monbouquette
MR David Cone
LR Noodles Hahn

The Goog fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Jun 10, 2015

# ? Jun 10, 2015 01:19

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Still got my title, jerks!

Send down Thomas, call up McGraw. I know he's going to miss the Symphony series, but I want him in there against the Confessors.

Lineup vs. RHP:

code:

2B - Collins
DH - McGraw
3B - Santo
1B - Carew
LF - Hamilton
C  - Berra
RF - Ramirez
CF - Bell
SS - Vaughan

Lineup vs. LHP:

code:

2B - Collins
DH - McGraw
1B - Carew
3B - Santo
RF - Ramirez
LF - Bonds
C  - Berra
SS - Vaughan
CF - Davis

# ? Jun 10, 2015 01:19

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

pash & mentholmoose I know we discussed similar deals, but in this scenario I got to keep Rickey/Pash's guy and still add a good left handed bat, sorry!

McFreeze please send down Robin Yount and Larry Walker and Harmon Killebrew and please call up Sid Fernandez and Aaron Ledesma and Richie Ashburn and Hal McRae.

Please make Juan Marichal SP5.
Please make Sid Fernandez LR.
Please turn off Bresnahan's personal catcher order for Walter Johnson.

New Lineup:
LF Rickey Henderson R
CF Ty Cobb L
1B Harry Heilmann R
DH Stan Musial L
RF Al Simmons R
3B Wade Boggs L
2B Riggs Stephenson R
C Ted Simmons S
SS Ernie Banks R

Rotation
Paige
Johnson
Cy1
Cy2
Marichal

Bullpen
Mariano
Lee Smith
Timlin
Bryn Smith
Fernandez

Thank you McFreeze. I didn't do any platoons because I didn't want you to hate me!

edit: any potential trade partners the final change I'd like to make before next season is to package the Juan Marichal I drafted last week with one of my glut of 1B/Corner OF bats (38yr old Musial, 25yr old Rickey, 27yr old Al Simmons, 34yr old Harry Heilmann, 30yr old Larry Walker) in exchange for either a great groundball pitcher or a very good groundball pitcher + a good reliever.

DannoMack fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Jun 10, 2015

# ? Jun 10, 2015 01:50

Revenant Threshold: Jan 1, 2008

Joe Wood is old, tired, and seems to be well-suited to the occasional long relief outing now. And 6 innings is still too short a time to properly evaluate Chesbro anyway.

On the other hand, though Jamieson will forever be my one true random roster filler love (Did You Know; his middle name is Devine?), he can get swapped with Clemente.

The Goog posted:

- Daniel Bard to the minors

Could I offer you anything for that Bard? Perhaps him and something else. The Knights could do with a troupe of Bards.

Revenant Threshold fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Jun 10, 2015

# ? Jun 10, 2015 01:58

Revenant Threshold: Jan 1, 2008

That wasn't the edit button.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 02:01

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

More shuffling of the pitching staff to make up for this latest injury and massive under-performance...

Rhodes goes to the DL.
Sutton is recalled from the DL and takes the SP4 pitching spot.
Move Sabathia to LR.
Move Tiant to MR.

And to cover for the fatigue a special lineup for vs LHP:
SS Jeter
LF Raines
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
1B Kaline
2B Kent
C Torre/Campanella
3B Frisch
P Pitcher

# ? Jun 10, 2015 03:14

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Revenant Threshold posted:

Could I offer you anything for that Bard? Perhaps him and something else. The Knights could do with a troupe of Bards.

You've got a 1984 Roger Clemens sitting around, not doing much...perhaps I could package my Bard with 2004 David Ortiz (and maybe one of the many starters I have populating my bullpen and minors) for him?

EDIT: After the season, of course. Because leagues.

The Goog fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Jun 10, 2015

# ? Jun 10, 2015 03:25

tatankatonk: Nov 4, 2011; Pitching is the art of instilling fear.

Send Wright to the minors. Call up Hornsby. Send Rodriguez down to the DL, call up McGriff.

Lineup

#1 Ashburn CF
#2 Hornsby DH
#3 Gehrig 1B
#4 Robinson RF
#5 Sheffield LF
#6 Gehringer 2B
#7 Dickey C
#8 Rolen 3B
#9 Crosetti SS

# ? Jun 10, 2015 03:35

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Brian Roberts in at 2B vs LHP

# ? Jun 10, 2015 04:14

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

mentholmoose posted:

I told you to offer me something, but apparently all your players suck. How about your Super-Draft pick next season and a 4th rounder in the dispersal for him?

OKC Bombers confirmed for Season XVII, my job is done.

Getting Cool Papa is tempting but I value that SD pick.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 04:17

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

Swap Reuschel with Strasburg this week. Wanna see how he does as a starter, and the injury gives me an excuse.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 04:32

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

No!! The Masked Shortstop!! Hope he hasn't been captured by the skull-masked dude. That would not be good. Anyway, yay Pud is back.

Swap Pud Galvin with Larry French. Sure French has been great, but Pete Alexander has to pick it up at some point, right?? I'll just let mogul handle the SS situation for now, since it appears to be going to Glasscock anyway. Thanks Smasher.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 04:36

Forzelt: Jul 23, 2012; Variance? Fuck that noise.

mentholmoose's manifesto posted:

Experimentation is a surrogate activity because scientists work mainly for the fulfillment they get out of the work itself.

A couple of points here:

- I realized Mentholmoose is being projected as Ted Kaczynski, which is definitely in canon, even if its a bit of an unexpected turn.
- I definitely identify with last half of the quote, but the first part is a bit weird. What are 'surrogate activities'?

# ? Jun 10, 2015 08:06

Kouerson: Mar 5, 2008; If you die in Canada, you die in real life.

Only change for these SMALL SAMPLE SIZES is swap Ian Kinsler and Brett Butler in the lineup

Heal yeah, Yu.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 09:39

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Can we all just take a moment to admire Dolph who is hitting .462 with 3 homers - nice!

Swap the fielding positions of the Hornsby's need to give the sore one some time off

Schang is getting sore as his Platoon partner is #trader. As Dolph is going ham, let's send down Berkman and call up Gary Carter, then make Carter the personal catcher for Silver King and Hubbell

Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 09:59 on Jun 10, 2015

# ? Jun 10, 2015 09:56

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

UNLEASH THE KAL~!

vs R:

SS Joe Sewell
C Ernie Lombardi
DH KAL~!
1B Jimmie Foxx
LF Ken Williams
CF Carl Furillo
RF Sam Rice
3B Vern Stephens
2B Nellie Fox

vs L:
SS Sewell
C Lombardi
1B Cliff Johnson
DH Foxx
LF Williams
CF Furillo
RF Reggie Smith
3B Stephens
2B McManus

Bench:
Earl Battey
KAL~!/Johnson platoon
McManus/Fox platoon
Sam Rice/Reggie Smith platoon
Bobby Grich

Pitching:

Pedro
Pete
Pedro
Koufax
Hendrix

Papelbon
Hoffman
Marshall
Lefferts
Sosa
Burnett

# ? Jun 10, 2015 11:55

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Wainwright back into the lineup, Simmons to the LR spot.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 17:05

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XVI, Week 19 Injury Report

Dorchester Phantoms
Babraham Adams (SP) (Ghost Madness) - 11 days

Glastonbury Knights
Tris Speaker (CF) (Just a flesh wound!) - 7 days

Kobe Crows
Kevin Brown (SP) (CRUNCH!) - Out for Season

Krakow Dragons
Dutch Leonard (SP) (A buncha muncha cruncha of dutcha injuries) - 14 days

South Bolton Eazy W's
Cy Young (SP) (Things got worse) - 15 days

Pick 'em: Repetitive Stress Disorder

Cruiserweight Championship
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Will the Pirates Lose Two or More Games This Week (@Whalers, vs. Marmosets)
Yes or No?

:siren:

This comic is more pointless than usual! :siren:

Legion of Super-Heroes (v4) #18

Just once, I want a character to look at one of the puffy shirts and say, "But I don't want to be a pirate!"

Guess what? After three straight fill-in issues where nothing all that important happened, it's time for...another fill-in issue where nothing all that important happens!

Orando! A Dark Circle cultist tries to ice Queen Projectra. He fails, and summarily sentenced to torture. The cultist explains that the monarchy must be destroyed as the people have suffered too greatly!

Projectra blames the growing strength of the Dark Circle cult on the people being "mind-raped" by the Red Terror, which has turned them against their beloved absolute monarch. Cham, who's there, notes that someone is disrupting relief shipments to further exacerbate discontent. She asks Lar Gand, the legendary Valor, to use his celebrity to quell the rebellious populace. Lar Gand declines, noting that if the people of Orando are finally smart enough to overthrow their queen, he's sure as gently caress not going to stop them. But he will try and see if there are off-world agents stirring up dissent, and he's willing to deal with them.

Medicus One! It's a medical satellite above Earth. Andromeda and Shrinking Violet sneak in, to the extent that Andromeda, who is super-tall and super-stacked, is capable of stealth. Anyway, Vi needs to get her robot leg checked out by a doctor, because it's itching. The doctor says robot legs will do that, and suggests she get her leg regrown. Vi doesn't want to, mainly because Medicus One is in orbit around Earth, and Earthgov recently tried to murder her and all of her friends. Not that the Legion is all that keen on doing anything to fight that evil government. That would require a level of heroism the Legion isn't quite capable of anymore.

Deep space! A bunch of Dark Circle goons board a ship carrying relief supplies to Orando. You know they're part of the Dark Circle because they have little circles on their masks. Nice of them to self-identify like that. Lar Gand boards the ship and is not pleased.

Orando! A Dark Circle speaker espouses rebellion against the crown! Lar Gand breaks that up too, and finds out that the entire Dark Circle delegation was composed entirely of Cargggites. What a twist! I think. I'm not sure. Yes? Maybe? I don't know. Lar Gand says he's going to get to the bottom of what's happening.

But first, he's off to Xolnar, since Duo Damsel is from Carggg, and she might be able to shed some light on what's going on. In fact, she knows absolutely nothing. But does give Lar Gand a kiss on the cheek. Which is awkward, since Lar Gand's wife, Shadow Lass, is standing right there, as is Duo Damsel's husband, Bouncing Boy. But everyone laughs it off.¹⁵

Lar Gand and Shadow Lass head to Carggg, which isn't doing so hot, since a meteor hit the planet and caused a nuclear winter effect. Everyone's in a cult now, and there are lots of skulls impaled on spears about, which is generally, though not always, a bad sign. Since Lar Gand is essentially unstoppable, he just marches into the main Dark Circle temple and finds the leader of Carggg sitting there with some Dark Circle goons. Lar Gand demands that Carggg stop instigating revolts on other planets. The Cargggite leader denies any such activities have taken place.

So Lar Gand starts wrecking poo poo. The Cargggite leader informs the populace that Carggg is under attack, but has a plan! She gathers a bunch of her people, all members of the Dark Circle cult, and instructs them to kill themselves if Lar Gand doesn't stop. Lar Gand has super-speed, though, so easily defuses that threat, and then decides to just announce that he is Valor, and that the people of Carggg should stop doing stupid poo poo like being part of the Dark Circle. And Valor's word is apparently basically law on Carggg, which does explain why Lar Gand was loathe to intervene in that manner before.

The Dark Circle goons take the leader of Carggg and her daughter hostage, but Lar Gand still has super-speed, and Shadow Lass shrouds them in darkness, so that gets defused as well.

Sometime later, Lar Gand notes that while he won't let the people of Carggg export the teachings of the Dark Circle to other planets, he isn't going to interfere if the people of Carggg choose it for themselves. And then rounds up the Dark Circle guys not from Carggg, stuffs them on a ship, and literally throws it away from the planet into deep space.

Xolnar! All of those idiots that got killed over the past few issues get buried. Mysa feels bad that she didn't know Jed all that well.

Earth! Universo and Invisible Kid formalize their cooperation, as Universo has information regarding mysterious underground chambers spread around the planet, and Invisible Kid has the men to break into the chambers and figure out what they are.

Elsewhere, Circe learns that Celeste and Devlin and Bounty are all back on Earth, and wonders why they decided to come back to the planet, since they know by now that Earthgov is out to get them. It's a fair question. Bounty, meanwhile is spying on Circe as she is talking about having them monitored. And the resistance sets off a bomb, and Shavaughn Erin feels ambivalent about the ethics of armed resistance.

Finally, the in the past, Ultra Boy has managed to make a jury-rigged shuttle to get back to ancient Earth. To be continued!

A perfect summation of this comic. A short prayer and then everything goes down in flames.

Text piece! The Dark Circle urges you to join them.

Notes and Technicalities

¹⁵Another loving stupid continuity thing, actually. Duo Damsel was originally Triplicate Girl, but one of her bodies got killed relatively early on, leaving her down to just the two bodies. And one of the bodies was in love with Bouncing Boy, and the other was in love with Superboy, and one of them won and one of them lost that race. But since Superboy no longer is in continuity, at least he's sort of not in continuity. Okay, despite the fact that he will be continuity next issue, he's not in continuity for the purposes of this section of this issue, Duo Damsel's other body was now in love with Lar Gand instead. And that body is also currently dead.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 17:40

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Not entirely sure what to make of this penchant for fill-in issues.

Pick 'Em: Bombers retain, Pirates don't lose more than one.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 18:06

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

If you keep having fill in issues... at what point do the fill ins become the main story?

Pickem:
Bombers Retain, Pirates lose more than 1.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 18:08

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Pick 'em: Repetitive Stress Disorder

Cruiserweight Championship
New World Symphony @ Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Will the Pirates Lose Two or More Games This Week (@Whalers, vs. Marmosets)

Yes

# ? Jun 10, 2015 18:14

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Cruiserweight Championship
Oklahoma City Bombers (c) retain

Will the Pirates Lose Two or More Games This Week (@Whalers, vs. Marmosets)
No they will not lose two or more games

# ? Jun 10, 2015 18:15

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Pick 'em: Bombers retain, no.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 18:36

Forzelt: Jul 23, 2012; Variance? Fuck that noise.

Pick 'em: Repetitive Stress Disorder

Cruiserweight Championship
Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Will the Pirates Lose Two or More Games This Week (@Whalers, vs. Marmosets)
Yes

# ? Jun 10, 2015 19:14

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Pirates don't lose, Bombers retain.

Kouerson, April has been simmed, but your change has been entered for May.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 20:18

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

Pick 'em: Repetitive Stress Disorder

Cruiserweight Championship
Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Will the Pirates Lose Two or More Games This Week (@Whalers, vs. Marmosets)
No

# ? Jun 10, 2015 20:39

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Pick'em

Bombers retain and Pirates don't lose more than one game.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 21:46

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Pick 'em: Repetitive Stress Disorder

Cruiserweight Championship
Oklahoma City Bombers (c)

Will the Pirates Lose Two or More Games This Week (@Whalers, vs. Marmosets)
Yep.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 21:48

Revenant Threshold: Jan 1, 2008

The Goog posted:

You've got a 1984 Roger Clemens sitting around, not doing much...perhaps I could package my Bard with 2004 David Ortiz (and maybe one of the many starters I have populating my bullpen and minors) for him?

EDIT: After the season, of course. Because leagues.

Clemens has sucked for me, but I think that's mostly just because my team is set up to take as much advantage as possible out of my deadballers. He doesn't really fit in, so I think he'd be better than he looks for the right team. And Ortiz I don't have a place for. If you have some interesting control pitchers among your available starters, we could talk.

# ? Jun 10, 2015 23:31

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

EC XVII Update: April

Mea culpa

Injury Report

South Shore Gumshoes
Paul O'Neill (RF) (wrecked Robin's Ferrari) -- 58 days

Antigua Unspecifieds
No one!*

_{*that meet the threshold. Blackmongoose may want to avert his gaze though...}

Analysis
Kaline's roll is a tough pill to swallow, it'll be better in the Sub-par league.

Analysis
Caminiti and Finley aren't SL caliber. Or Subpar League caliber. Also Hoffman's stats are inflated by two really bad appearances.

Analysis
I corrected your name and you continued on your reign of terror. But what's this? Who has taken over your lead? GRU assets are deployed to make a determination...

Analysis
A tough league, plus your hitting isn't there. On the other hand, Al Orth ~*random deadball superstar~* is a keeper.

Analysis
I don't think your various tweaks are necessarily working out but I've doomed myself to a billion micro alterations, haven't I? EVERYTHING IS GOOD AND GREAT, DON'T CHANGE A THING PLEASE

Analysis
The logo is a place holder but there's nothing replacement level about Yaz and Averill's performance. More importantly the pitching rotation is pretty solid top to bottom. We'll see how long this lasts though.

Analysis
How do you mime "deer caught in headlights of oncoming tractor trailer"? Also glad to see Mike Schmidt is still terrible in the SL; never change Mogul.

Analysis
There, more PAs for O'Neill. Shame about that injury though. The brighter side is your pitchers are holding their own, except Koufax. Koufax can't ever catch a break.

Analysis
Have I mentioned how I find Achewood inexplicable? Yeah, let's run with that. (But really this is probably a strength of schedule thing.)

Analysis
Marichal and Walter Johnson are a great pair to have in your rotation, and the fact Gaylord Perry is having a good run is icing on the cake, as well as thematically appropriate.

Also, HONK HONK.

Analysis
Larry Doby, slayer of teams has arrived. Well, in this case it's "bringer of mediocrity." On the other hand, Ruth demonstrates he's still Babe "Fuckin'" Ruth, even though he's got more SB than HRs.

Analysis
Who killed Laura? Five knives, five hands, standing on a mound.

Analysis
If you can't score runs, perhaps the winning strategy is to prevent the opposition from doing so in the first place.

Analysis
Fallout tends to reward kleptomania but this is absurd. Also, defense is for losers.

# ? Jun 11, 2015 00:36

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

The leaders of the glorious revolution have not yet lead by example. Lucky for the people that such fine examples as Kelley and Kell have held the line in their place. The revolution is still early however, so massive changes need not happen yet. The five season plans must continue in earnest, however

Send down Kevin Brown and Luke Appling, bringing up Ted Lyons and Lou Boudreau in their places, so Lyons should be the new SP4 and Boudreau the starting SS. Also, the proletariat demands a new batting order, and who am I to deny them?

DH John McGraw
1B Joe Kelley
RF Babe Ruth
3B George Kell
LF Ted Williams
C Wally Schang
2B Rod Carew
CF Platoon
SS Lou Boudreau

# ? Jun 11, 2015 02:20

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

Sub-Par League IV, Week 18: Separating the Wheat from the Gluten-Free

Games of the Weak

Frank Gaiman posted:

NORTONS LOSE PEDESTRIAN GAME TO DRAGONFLIES SO I GO OFF THE RESERVATION

San Francisco - Today the Dragonflies beat the Nortons 5-2. Nothing particularly notable happened that we haven't seen before: the Nortons couldn't quite get their offense going and instead relied on Luis Tiant to hold a 2-0 lead. Tiant, suffering from overuse, couldn't quite get it done, and Luke Appling made an embarrassing error to compound the issue. The Dragonflies scored 5 runs despite not having any extra base hits and only walking twice. It happens.

Really, the only notable performances were that Brian Downing, perhaps punishing himself for last week's miserable performance, allowed himself to be struck by two pitches. And Ernie Lombardi hit a triple.

But anyway, the Dragonflies are crawling slowly toward irrelevance while the Nortons can't escape the inertia of the .500 mark. We've seen that for a while.

But the Dragonflies...I can't look at that logo without thinking of Resident Evil: Code Veronica. Which is probably an even stupider and nonsensical game and series as The Legion of Super Heroes. I can't do it the level of justice as Smasher, not having an encyclopedic knowledge of it, but here is a basic summary for those of you who've only played the most recent versions.

There's a multinational corporation called "Umbrella" which conducts research into biological and chemical weapons. But they don't really have any buyers for it. They just do random experimentation and I guess hop ethat eventually someone will buy their poo poo. Anyway, all their facilities are in absurdly stupid places like mansions with hidden doors and passages, police stations with hidden doors and passages, different mansions shaped like the previously aforementioned mansions with hidden doors and passages, and Antarctica.

Yes, Antarctica. Which is where a good portion of the 4th entry in the series, Code: Veronica takes place. In that game, the primary antagonist is sibling duo named Alfred and Alexia Ashford. Only you find out halfway through the game that Alexia Ashford is actually dead and that every time you run into "Alexia" in the game it turns out that it's just Alfred in a wig and falsetto.

You "defeat" Alfred by pointing out that Alexia is actually just him in a wig and falsetto, and he loses his poo poo and does something stupid and gets shot and then falls off a conveniently broken railing and gets mortally wounded in the fall.

But get this: when he falls to his impending death, he's discovered by his long lost sister, Alexia! So despite him dressing like a woman, it turns out he was sort of right in that he does have a sister--a sister that he bonded with by tearing the wings off of dragonflies as a child (see! it's sort of related to GVOLLT's team!)

So anyway, Alexia discovers her brother's broken body and gets really mad, whereupon it's revealed that the reason she was missing for so many years is because she was off in the Antarctic developing insect queen powers. And she grows wings and tentacles and poo poo and then captures the main protagonist, Claire and her emo sidekick, Steve.

Meanwhile, the main protagonist has a brother (sibling rivalry is a theme of the game, I guess) who was the protagonist of the first Resident Evil game. And that brother, Chris Redfield, is a hotshot fighter pilot who in later editions of the series LITERALLY PUNCHES A BOULDER INTO A VOLCANO WHILE FIGHTING A GOKU. Anyway, Chris finds out that his sister's in trouble and flies his secret fighter jet to Antarctica (well, technically he goes somewhere else first and does some boring intermediary quests before arriving in the Antarctic, but you get the idea.)

There, he finds out that Steve, the emo sidekick, has been turned into an evil frog thing with a halberd because Alexia has, in addition to her insect powers, amphibious powers. Like Pat Venditte. Anyway, Steve the evil frog dies in Claire's arms and she swears vengeance against Alexia as a result.

Chris and Claire team up to shoot Alexia with a magic ray that's impossible to aim and likely results in several game overs before they successfully hit her by accident and then Antarctica explodes and they fly back to safety. Well, relative safety anyway. In later games there are more stupid monsters and zombies only now they have guns because Capcom couldn't be bothered to stick with survival horror and instead just wanted a generic shooter clone.

And now you know about some of the history of Resident Evil. Which is probably more interesting than anything I could've written about this game. Over a long season, not every game is meaningful or interesting!

GAME NOTES

- Code: Veronica is named that because some other dumb relative of Alfred and Alexia is named "Veronica" and they thought she was cool so they used her name as a secret code that's important at like 1 point in the game. But this was during the Dreamcast era where all sorts of weird poo poo was getting published.

Box Score

The Pan Man posted:

HARD DRINKERS COMPLETE SWEEP, STEAL LAST GOOD THING FORZELT HAD IN LIFE

Loveland - Coming into this series, the two fiercest competitors for the Feast or Fired division couldn't find any separation in the standings, two thoroughbreds vying for positioning as they turn to the stretch. With the Dinos the hotter team in July, winning seven of their last eight, baseball insiders expected Forzelt to make up a game on AnAnonymousIdiot to tie the Aleworkers atop the division.

As the saying goes, "that's why the games are played." Forzelt didn't expect to find his team scrambling to avoid a sweep after dropping the first two games, but in that position he hunkered down, handed the ball to Monte Ward with some measure of confidence. Monte Ward never let him down. He was the stopper.

Six and a half innings passed with Pete Alexander and Monte Ward matching mostly scoreless innings, each blemished by only a single run tallied against their ledger. Ward stepped in to finish the bottom of the seventh, and the Aleworkers found a chink in his old-timey armor.

Alex Rodriguez pulled the first pitch he saw down the line to left, starting the inning with a double. The second pitch was wild, sending the go-ahead runner to third base. After inducing a Manny Ramirez pop-up, Ward intentionally walked Hartnett to pitch to the pitcher slot, and presumably a pinch-hitter.

The problem, for AnAnonymousIdiot, is that he didn't have many good hitters on the bench. Who should he trust to step into a 1st and 3rd with 1 out situation? Gavvy Cravath? George Grantham? Ray Grimes? Bob Allison? The best option was Tony Oliva, a lefty hitter, who hit well enough this season and would be guaranteed a platoon advantage against the righty-heavy Dinos.

Inexplicably, it was Pete Alexander who stepped to the plate. Unsure what to expect, the Dinos were caught completely off guard when he tapped a sacrifice bunt back at Ward. Rodriguez was off from third on contact, and Ward's hesitation off the mound eliminated any play except the force at first. After surrendering the lead, Ward lost his focus against Cobb, who slapped an opposite field single off a slow two-seamer. Normally the slow Hartnett may not have tried to score from second, but he was off on contact since there were two outs, plus Heinie Manush bobbled the ball, allowing Gabby to jog home to make it a 3-1 ballgame.

Compounding the oddity of AnAnonymousIdiot's decision to let Alexander hit, Alexander was pulled before a single pitch to let Jesse Orosco face the Dinos in the top of the eighth. While not stocked with elite arms, the Aleworkers bullpen could easily be considered competent enough to make a two run lead hold late in the game. Manush provided a single, but otherwise Orosco shut down the Dinos in the eighth. After Nen had a quiet half in the eighth as well, AnAnonymousIdiot brought in Sergio Romo to seal the save.

Romo had not impressed many in limited play this season, and could be beaten by good hitters. Jud Wilson struck out. Edd Roush struck out. Bill Dickey stepped up to the plate, the last out left for the Dinos. About as good a hitter as one can expect from a catcher, Dickey caught all of a pitch on the outer half. Unfortunately, it was a hangwiffum right to Harmon Killebrew, who was quite surprised he caught it to end the game.

"I have been warned by Monte Ward that if lay the blame for this loss at his feet, he will stab me with his dueling dagger," Forzelt informed the media. "Instead, I shall lay this at the feet of my offense, which couldn't manage a single extra-base hit. What is the deal?! Do you WANT to be dispersed to a draft if we get relegated? Do you WANT the Dinos to go extinct?"

He rubbed his temples with his hand. "We're supposed to be resurgent. This is our comeback! Dinosaurs are big now, they're what's in! A Chris Pratt Jurassic Park movie is coming out, everyone's talking dinos, talking us! A rising dino-tide raises all dino-boats!"

During the Loveland press conference, AnAnonymousIdiot brought out a stein and placed it on the dais conspicuously. "I would like to introduce the latest microbrew in honor of winning the United States Championship. I call it the Division Winner Pale Ale. Loaded with cascadia, citra, and chinook hops, this bright and sunny brew lets the drinker experience the joy and spirit that sweeping your divisional rival brings. The floral nose smells like victory, and the bittersweet finish is as cleansing as a four game lead over some stupid lizard people."

GAME NOTES

- Heinie Manush's error wasn't responsible for the run scoring, so it's not like he really needed to go 3 for 4 to make up for his mistake. But he did go 3 for 4, because he's pretty good at hitting.

- Three relievers combined for 2 hits over 3 innings, with 4 strikeouts and no walks. Very competent! Almost like a bullpen!

- I really don't know what the thinking was regarding Pete Alexander in the seventh. Why leave him in to hit, then yank him before he pitches again? He was only at 86 pitches, and he had a great game going.

Box Score

Casey Kasem, broadcasting from the Afterlife! posted:

*static*

..... and moving up four notches to number 21 is Lil Wayne featuring Chris Brown, Nicki Minaj, Englebert Humperdinck, and Gheorge Zamfir with "Don't You Get It Yet? We're Filthy Stinkin' Rich!" This is Lil Wayne's twentieth appearance on this week's countdown.

This is truly what Hell feels like. What did I ever do to deserve this?

Anyway, it's time for a long distance request and dedication. This request is from a Mooseontheloose, from Salem, Massachusetts. Moose, can I call you Moose? I'll call you Moose. Anyway, Moose writes:

"Dear Casey,

I am sitting here in South Boston, which is not too far from my hometown of Salem, watching the Salem Witches perform an exorcism on the poor, unfortunate, uncouth loudmouths that we call the Murphs. You know, I'm not worried. This is pretty much just another home game for us at this point, as the Murphs continue their descent into irrelevance.

As I write, It's heading to the bottom of the ninth, and we just took a 7-5 lead thanks to some clutch hitting. Everyone loves dingers. Our good friend Albert Pujols hit a two run bomb earlier in the game to give us a 5-3 lead. However, this time, singles and clutch baserunning was the order of the day. Now, Casey, I am watching the much maligned Robb Nen take the mound. If you can only see the look of determination in his eyes. He wants to prove to people like, say.. Armitage, that he has what it takes to perform in the Subpar League and the Super League. He just got a quick ground out from Jimmie Foxx."

Is he really going to recap the entire bottom of the ninth? *shuffles papers* Yes. Well, it keeps me from having to announce yet another Lil Wayne song for a little while longer, so let's continue.

"Suddenly, Joe Cronin and Ted Williams have both singled. I can see Nen starting to sweat a little. You know who's not sweating a little, Casey? Me. The Murphs have Dom Dimaggio and Jim Thome coming up, and if there's anything those two like doing, it's striking out. I'm not worried. I'm sending positive vibes Robb's way, and negative vibes to those jokers in Jersey City. It feels good making them sweat, after all. Anyway, DiMaggio only mustered a shallow fly out to right. I'd have shown a bit of concern if it was his brother Joe, but not much. Anyway, it's Jim Thome time, and I will give you three guesses on how this at bat is going to play out, and the first two don't count.

Yup, he struck out. We win, as usual! drat, we're good. Anyway, I spoke earlier about the Murphs being irrelevant. Well, that will be the fate of my subject to this request and dedication. There is a certain division leader. I mentioned him earlier by name, Armitage. Well, his team is doing what it can to give up the lead. I think we have them running scared. It's only a matter of time before we take over the le...."

Wait a minute. The writing is starting to change.

"Greetings, Casey! It's I, Josef from San Francisco! I hope this letter finds you well, and I hope I am not interrupting my dear, and maybe soon to be dead, friend Mooseontheloose. Taking over the lead? Hah! In your dreams, pal.

Anyway, I also would like to make a request and dedication to our mutual enemy, one Armitage of the Jersey City Jobbers. Hey Armitage, the Nortons rule and the Jobbers drool! If you're not down with that, I got two words for ya! SUCK IT! Asterisk, does crotch chops, asterisk."

He actually wrote *does crotch chops* on this letter.

"If you think the San Francisco Nortons are going to win the division and get promoted to the Super League give me a hell yeah! *imitating a crowd* HELL YEAH!"

Excuse me, Mooseontheloose here! Quit interrupting my letter! *punches Josef in the face* Anyway, we, not the Nortons, are going to take the Jobbers, shine 'em up real nice, turn those sumbitches sideways and stick them straight up Armitage's candy rear end!

IF YA SSSSSSMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-A! WHAT THE MOOSE! IS COOKIN!' *raises the People's eyebrow*

Anyway, the request and dedication would be something the youth of America is not familiar with. Rock music, or as they call it, the kind of music they play in old folks homes. You know, grandpa music. The song is.. RUN LIKE HELL, by Pink Floyd

We're the Witches...

..and Nortons!...

..and we're comin' to get ya!"

Well, mooseontheloose and Josef, here is your request and dedication.

GAME NOTES:

- Roy Halladay is continuing to pitch well after his early struggles. The defense nearly gave the game away on two occasions. Untimely errors by Eddie Mathews and Carlton Fisk led to three unearned runs.

- Hey Ron Davis, throwing a 78 MPH forkball to Albert Pujols is actually a bad idea! It looks like you have had a lot of bad ideas this season. Oh boy.

- The Witches had 16 hits on the game. Their offense and pitching have both come to life, and if this continues they may still be able to make run for the division if the Jobbers keep jobbing and the Nortons offense stays cold.

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

You were unlucky to catch the Goog the week after he regained his sanity.

Analysis

Technically you're in fourth place, but you're closer than any team in the other division.

Analysis

In your stadium, I don't predict a lot of offensive improvement from Barry.

Analysis

Good week, but now comes a lot of big divisional games.

Analysis

Your mission should be to get a high Gauntlet seed. And then convince all the new owners to quit.

Analysis

FAILURE!

Analysis

First series, you did what you needed to do. Second series, you did not.

Analysis

I can't wait to see how depressed this week makes Armitage.

Analysis

Time to celebrate, with the Champagne of Beers!

Analysis

Heh heh heh. DannoMack didn't realize, if the Googily-Mooglies get put into the Super-Draft, the players who he traded away will be in the Super-League next season! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Analysis

Not your best effort.

Analysis

The lineup's looking better, and with the tainted Tiants gone, the Witches could make a run still.

Analysis

Win next week, and you can unify the titles, then bring them up to the Super-League, and lose both of them to the Pirates! You can do it!

Analysis

Okay, I looked and I don't think you ever picked a stadium. The game put you in Dodger Stadium, so that would probably be why your dingers are so shamefully low.

Analysis

Good news: July is over.
Bad news: August has begun.

Analysis

Six games back is nothing. Remember, you're chasing Joba Chamberlain. Not a difficult target to reach.

Standings

# ? Jun 11, 2015 02:38

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Ice To Meet You posted:

Heh heh heh. DannoMack didn't realize, if the Googily-Mooglies get put into the Super-Draft, the players who he traded away will be in the Super-League next season! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOugNisFgVo

# ? Jun 11, 2015 02:54

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Notes from Assistant Manager TheMcD's Desk:

Are you joking, McFreeze? Going 2-2 against the Direwolves in their home stadium is FAR above what I thought we would do! Remember, they are literally made to counter my pitchers, as evidenced by the drubbing poor Max Scherzer got, and the fact that the Despair got swept in their earlier away series against the Direwolves!

Winning a series against the Mounties, then drawing a series against the Direwolves in Yellowstone is about as good as my team can hope for, and I'm still not looking too shabby for a strong Gauntlet position (since the division is starting to move into "physically impossible" territory), which I hope won't lead to the team dying and me getting killed by a homicidal bear with a penchant for destroying people with what they love.

Don't think we need any changes in the pitching (Scherzer will do as Cain did and recover), but the lineup needs a bit of a shift, since Herman is kind of faltering compared to the alternatives. I guess Manny can stay, but he's still on a short leash.

with DH, vs. both types of pitcher

code:

1	SS	Derek Jeter
2	CF	Joe Jackson
3	LF	Ted Williams
4	DH	Stan Musial
5	1B	Billy Williams
6	RF	Manny Ramirez
7	2B	Billy Herman
8	3B	Bobby Bonilla
9	C	Buster Posey

We're out of the interleague play zone, right? So I shouldn't need to do no-DH lineups until... my team dies?

EDIT: Have Manny Ramirez, want to trade for 3B that can bat.

EDIT AGAIN: Or a 2B that can bat. Really, just looking to take the "gently caress defense, particularly infield defense" thing I've got going to its natural conclusion and craft a lineup that I can at least trust a bit more in the Gauntlet than Herman and Bonilla.

Also, the irony of me hoping for a whole bunch of things is once again not lost on me.

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Jun 11, 2015

# ? Jun 11, 2015 02:58

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

craperture suckalots

lovely bernhard down, sam leever up

# ? Jun 11, 2015 03:35

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Prime Eddie Collins why are you bad? :smith:

# ? Jun 11, 2015 04:25

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

In lieu of watching the impending death of the Generics, I'm going to note two trends in the EC: the death of power in batting, and the completely out-of-control steal rate for runners, which are concomitantly reflected in some truly abysmal CS% of the catchers. I'm going to boost HRs a bit and try to see if the running game can be depressed a bit because the number of steals is getting almost pathological. The stats are truly abysmal, the league leader for catcher RTO% is 14%. A lot of teams have catchers with 0% RTO.

So I propose two changes:

1. Boosting HRs allowed. Mogul has a setting to suppress or boost total offensive output on a global basis. I was sticking to Smasher's settings but these seem to be a little too depressed for Diamond so I'll increase it some.
2. Significantly boost RTO% so that catchers in the field aren't purely ornamental. That'll mean runners aren't simply stealing with impunity.

Old Ruth shouldn't be stealing more bases than mashing taters. That's...just not right.

# ? Jun 11, 2015 04:51

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 03:21

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

That's an insane rate, considering, for instance, those pre-modern players ran a lot and got caught in turn way more than "normal."

Shed a single tear for Campy's career 57% CS rate.

# ? Jun 11, 2015 04:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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