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Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.

***FOR THE “OMGHAHA TL,DR” crowd, paraphrase is at bottom. Just divert your little ADHD eyes to the pretty asterisk line***
*-*For those screaming “This belongs in CC! The sketches are from my journal. They reflect my feeling for whatever given situation. I’ll remove them if needed.*-*

In the middle of 5th grade, hormones putting on the parachutes to be deployed about my body - I had braces put on my teeth. Things went loving downhill from there.

The actual reason for the braces wasn't so much because of crooked teeth - but a cross-bite. So, that spring afternoon, I went into the offices of Dr. Cockwallet - and got fitted with a full set of ultra K-Rad braces with black bands (5th grade also signaled the start of my unipolar depression).

(Parents_: So, how long do you expect Matthew to have braces?
(Dr. Cockwallet): 3 years, tops. Perhaps just a little more... but that'd only be in a worst case fiasco.

From there on, it's all a matter of time. 6th grade... 7th... 8th... I go into Cockwallet's office every 2 weeks to get my bands changed. I am complimented on how good my teeth look under the brackets, and that my deft brushing skillz are second to none. Every now and then, we'd sit down and ask about how much longer braces would be needed, however - Dr. Cockwallet had a very good thing to hide behind:

The Growth Spurt
Sure. I was always the tallest person in all classes as a kid. I was always the guy at the back of the line on photo day... the one with the legs so long, they had to be skewed into un-natural, Kama-Sutra-on-Vioxx positions to prevent his legs from lifting the desk several inches. That was me. Tall, but not freakishly tall. This all changed around 7th grade, when the first of the growth spurts hit. By the end of 8th grade, I was 6'5". My growth plates had gone on their own magical, mystical adventure to recreate a skeletal Pangea... included in this migration: my lower jaw. The stubborn crossbite, over what seemed like several weeks, morphed into a Class III underbite.

With this to stand behind, Dr. Cockwallet could put a simple, quick, easy to deliver reason behind his actions. On several occasions, we made an appointment with the -only- perogitive being to talk about my progress. If one was lucky, and gave the correct people deep-probing rimjobs, you'd eek out 5-10 minutes of his precious time. Normally played out:
(Parents): So... he's had these braces on for a long time... don't you think it's about time...
(CockWallet): Well, we're about to go into (insert a new stage here!). This is a collective process, Mr. and Mrs. Mandelbrot. However, Matthew is making remarkable progress, dispite the repositioning of his mandable.

For the record, I'm an only child. One who was sick a bunch as a little kid. Several hospital visits. Mom is also a nurse of 25+ years, thus she was very protective - asking as many questions as she could fit into those little sessions.

Rubber Bands. Coils. Brackets. Springs. I had them all. If I was told to wear it at X time, loving hell - it was on. I wanted those things off my teeth as quickly as I could manage... if strapping on a piece of DentalDam-gone-horridly-awry on little hooks would speed up the process, I was a step ahead.

High School
9th grade... 10th grade. I'm having pain in my teeth at this point. I'm still brushing like a motherfucker, getting all those little party favors left by food out of my teeth. The depression is taking full hold at this point, and I become a very lonesome person. Not emo.. not goth.. just not talking to too many people, and feeling like a worthless pile of poo poo. No poetry.. no cry-for-help-look-at-me-god-drat-it stories or pictures... just someone who seemed normal (save for being 7'2" at this point), but always looked a bit down.

The End Nears
I remember the day around the 1st or 2nd of November.. that my next visit would be the blessed removal of my braces. None too soon, I figured... the white cement was starting to chip off at whim. Had I known that it was tooth, and not cement, I'm sure the need for haste would have been raised just a bit.
Mom is addicted to QVC. As a family, dad and I have come to deal with this. The same night I got the 'good' news, they brought in a new item: one of those professional tooth-whitening systems. The ones that, at the time, retailed for buku money. Throwing in my 40ish bucks, I had it ordered. After 7 years of looking at culture and media... and only seeing people with white teeth... and longing for white teeth... I would finally loving have them.

Matt's Big Day!
It was 3 days before my 17th birthday. As far as I was involved, this -was- my birthday present. Years of hellish pain.. band changing.. aches.. HUGE mouth sores... loving -gone-. I sit down in the chair I've been pointed to, and smile.
This was finally. loving. it.
One of the cute assistants gets all the tools ready, and congradulates me on putting up with braces for that long. She then begins to remove the brackets from my teeth.

A quick dental lesson:
Like most surfaces covered by something for a long period of time, tooth enamal can become weakened from years of being 'covered', without reapplication of brackets. Small cracks begin to form in the cement over the years, the tooth becomes weakened.

I was warned that there would be some pain assosiated with removal of these brackets... but I was not informed that the pain would be agonizing enough to cause the classic visual augmentations that accompany passing out. My nails dug into that fake leather arm-rest hard enough to break the fingernails (no dramatic full-nail-breakage, sorry). I was in tears by the 4th bracket. Mr. 'Pain is just a state of mind. There is nothing that can be too horrid to stand' had burning hot tears rolling down his face.
Reason being?
Because as the assistant removed each bracket, chunks of tooth came with it. 7 years of being covered by a non-hermetic seal had weakened my teeth to the point of breaking off with the brackets. Each time this happened, dentin and nerve were exposed to the environment, and informed the primal pain receptors in my skull that both my teeth and the entire loving world as I knew it were coming to an end. Tooth after tooth, she removed the brackets. By the 4th one, she could really see the problem. She continued. Took her lab coat off in a cold sweat.
5th bracket - more tooth.
6th bracket - more tooth.
Ungodly pain.. then wet... wet.. she was crying on me, a tear hitting my face once or twice. She knew there was a problem, and -knew- this was causing me pain unlike that of which either of us knew.

It took around an hour to remove those brackets. After, I felt like my teeth had been raped with a Dremel tool. She called Dr. Cockwallet over.
(Assistant): Um… Dr. Cockwallet… Matthew is done, you should come here and see this….
(Cockwallet finishes up with whoever is next on the cattle-line-o-orthodontic-health and walks over)
(A look of, “Oh. loving. poo poo.”, overcomes Cockwallet’s face. The look that someone has when they look straight into the fact that they are hosed.)
(Cockwallet): ….um… well, Matthew… you’re looking good. A tiny bit of bonding, and you should be perfect! *the rush to get me out of there starts* So, uh… why don’t you go home and rest, and we’ll call you later this week to make an appointment for a retainer in 2 months! Happy birthday!

Those were his last words to me. “Happy [loving] Birthday”. However – I didn’t know any better. I thought that the pain was somehow normal… and that it was all over. My next stop was to the dentist – Dr. Shitgoblin – for a cleaning. It had been so long since a FULL cleaning. The assistant did an X-ray of my teeth to assess the damage.
My estimate for cavities: 8
Actual number of cavities: 48.
I was off by: 40.


AphexMandelbrot fucked around with this message at Mar 1, 2003 around 02:57


Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.

I don’t have 48 loving teeth in my head. Some teeth had two or three. All within the space of where brackets would cover the tooth.

Dr. Shitgoblin’s Offer: Drill all 48 cavities and fill them over 4 visits, working on a new quadrant each time. There really didn’t seem to be any other option, so after dropping several thousand dollars… work began.
Being no stranger to NO2 (laughing gas) due to the string of visits to dentists, I was used to the following: Put in my cd player’s ear buds (Koss – The Plug. 14 bucks or so. Buy some.), take in the NO2… let it out… get to a point where you still feel pain, but frankly – in your altered state – you could give a poo poo less. You’re still able to count in your head… mental tasks can still be preformed… physical reactions just seem delayed… That was not the case at Dr. Shitgoblin’s office. CD player. Gas. Pass out. Wake up numb with a bleeding mouth.
In my last of 4 visits to Dr. Shitgoblin, mom walked to the back to grab my keys from my trench-coat, which was in the little cube-o-dental-fun with me. It’s around 45 minutes into the drilling and filling… she walks in, and is greeted by non-dentist assistant doing the work. On a mad run for blood, she finds Dr. Shitgoblin – asleep at his desk. Not legal.
RESULT: The fillings were done poorly; the drilling was done too deep. It took around 3 ½ months for each one to fall out, leaving me back at square one… with holes even closer to the nerves… and teeth even more hosed up.

Here is where we get lawyer. Pictures taken for documentation of damage done by Cockwallet and Shitgoblin. Strike a pose, poo poo monger!

(Mouth closed, looking like a bitch – as normal in high school)

This was the soon after the whole experience. Note that, while hosed, I still have a mouth of teeth. Wonder what happens when teeth become too weakened to sustain any pressure?...

This happens. Teeth begin to snap off at the gums.

“Crikey! Les’ get a close-uhp uh dis beaut!”

I’m coming for you Dr. Cockwallet. I’ll torture your children in front of you, and then gently caress your wife with your child’s severed loving torso.

Dr. ShriveledDick looked to be around 74ish. He was on his last legs. In his small dentist office, patients could enjoy the fun and excitement of spitting into a REAL spit-sink from Ye Olden Days O’ Dentistry. He spoke slowly, and his receptionist looked around 89, with cotton-esque hair, letting you see down to her scalp under the right light.
Dr. ShriveledDick’s Plan O’ Action:
He can fix everything!.... for roughly $12,000. Why so expensive? I’ll put it as he did, “I do all my work in gold. It’s the standard, it withstands longer, and it’s stronger all around.” We went to ShriveledDick around 3 times for various consults and measurements to be made on my jaw before he popped the price tag.
THEN, he follows up with the comment of, “You know, I really don’t even need the money. I’m going to retire soon, and I’ve got more than enough.” That’s the end of that sentence. No, ‘So…’ or anything to that extent… just a declaration that he really doesn’t need the money, but is happy to take it anyway. We mutter at the wasted money for consults with his old rear end.

Dr. Soprano reminded me of Tony Soprano on HBO. He had the accent… he was built like him… and looked like him if under the right painkillers. Dr. Soprano was a prosthodontist – making fake teeth for toothless boys and girls. Magically, like those previous to him – he, too, could slay the evil dental dragon. He seemed to give a poo poo about the care and my pain, and had individual x-rays and pictures taken of each tooth to get an idea of what sort of damage all this wear had done. Soprano says that he needs to know the name of the orthodontist (Dr. Cockwallet) to ask a question about my charts. He managed to extract the name, and called sometime that week. Upon revisiting Dr. Soprano, the cash needed to start work has changed:
Before: Roughly $10,000 – with very flexible installments/payment plans.
After: $40,500. Up front.
5-6 more dental visits down the toilet.

Dr. Starfucker was a short trip to get to, being in Nashville. The inside of his office was lined with things used by various bands, all signed, and thanking him for some sort of unspoken action. A guitar used by one of The Eagles. An electric guitar from Eric Clapton… all with pictures of him receiving the item from (X) band member. Apparently he did dental work on these people, although I still maintain that he’s just really good at blowjobs.
Starfucker looked into my mouth, and instantly agreed to be my expert witness in my case against Cockwallet. Seeing as he was one of the head forensic dentists in the United States, I was elated (yea. Forensic dentist with a normal practice, mind is blown). He spent a good two hours looking through each tooth, and each record he had. Over and over… “You’ve got a sealed case. This shouldn’t even be a question.” He went out of town two days later – he was asked to help identify bodies in the trade center mess. Came back 2 weeks later in the same mindset. We get a call several days later… Dr. Cockwallet has ‘spoken’ to Starfucker, and exchanged “seemingly forgotten” information: roughly “One of the teeth had a chip to begin with, so who’s to tell what’s damage from the braces, and what was pre-existing?”… Starfucker used this to wiggle out of testifying, and went from carrying on a constant correspondence with the lawyer… to answering, saying he had another call, and disconnecting his office phone. 3 trips from Knoxville to Nashville, and my hopes… wasted.

AphexMandelbrot fucked around with this message at Mar 1, 2003 around 03:00

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.

Tooth pain. Need a root canal. Go to the practice that mom goes to, covered on insurance. They have a new guy, and I end up with him. Dr. SadistRectalElf sat me down in the chair, and was very brief with me. I could give a gently caress less about personality; I just wanted the pain to be gone. I put the headphones on, close my eyes, and get ready for gas/shot.
I was greeted not by the friendly plastic snout of a NO2 tube, nor the slight metallic chill of the Novocain injection. My greeting was a dental drill eating into the exposed part of my to-be-canalled tooth.
1560 SAT, 34 ACT. Great English scores, and always a very well rounded reader – and I still can think of no words to describe the pain that I felt on that chair.
“Oh! You should have loving said something! Jesus!”… You have obviously never been in so much overwhelming, unexpected pain that you are paralyzed. You can do nothing but remain stiff, and pray to loving God almighty that you pass out. You’ll do anything… church… donations… adopting cracked out midget bastards… loving anything… but that only seems to happen in dramatic climaxes within stories… it gives the reader to imagine what horrors must have happened. Since I was awake: The light was squelching through my eyes, though they were closed as tight as I could press them; the only thing I can hear is the sound of old grungy Hole and Nine Inch Nails blasting through my ear buds, accompanied by the trademark high-pitched whirling of the dental drill; the smell and taste, however, are very easy to recollect… the smell of burning hair? That’s also the smell of your teeth being drilled. Friction creates heat, and slowly – that world-wide-loved smell of burning protein that flashes primal ‘Warning’ signs in your brain – makes it’s way through your nose, wrapping around your Olfactory gland like a noose. The taste is the same, only much more delightful, for your next 10 meals will taste of burnt hair.
It was the longest time of my life… I lost all track of what was going on, because he wouldn’t loving stop with the drilling. There was no point where he stopped for a moment to get some gauze, have another shot of Everclear, or even scratch his God damned balls… just drilling… drilling… drilling… drilling. When it was over, I barely manage to whisper – through vocal cords that had been strained as if I had been screaming in agony for the last hour – that I needed something for pain. He opened a drawer, and handed me 3 2-packs of Advil. His cart-of-tools hits the floor with a crash, and through my flared nostrils, I breathe heavily – fully enjoying the smell of burning hair that has now overcome my sense of odor detection. I left the practice’s office with a script for Demerall, and he left the practice two weeks later… against his will.

The final great let down was due to Dr. FalseMessiah. He looked in his mid 50’s… he had done outreach work in Africa… pictures of him grasping an anaconda with some dark chocolate skinned native – in some country of eternal civil war that I’ll never be able to locate on a map. He admitted that he was in the twilight of his dental profession, and that he had more than enough to retire on. He went through what he’d do, a full set of teeth… I’d have them all back… all of them of the finest quality. Asking price? $4,000. No rising costs, no anything. He said, “Frankly, you’ve been screwed by everyone else. So much for the Hippocratic Oath.”. Just HOW nice was he?... I had to have those damned impressions done… before the nurse could plaster that freezing paste on my cold-hating teeth, he pops his head in… “That’ll be pretty cold… why don’t you give him some gas to ease uncomfortable cold feeling on his sensitive teeth?”
I was loving –IN LOVE-. This man was my savior. Just like that, we set up an appointment with him in a week to have –all- the work done (“If you were to get here in the morning, and tolerate being here until around 5 p.m., I see no reason we couldn’t get this done, or drat close, in a day.”). I count down the days. All the loving rear end in a top hat dentists can blow me. It’s all worth it if I was brought here by the lovely dentists. Monday morning. I hadn’t slept at all. Too loving excited. Appointment at 10:00 a.m., I’m getting a shower. I’m getting dressed. Sure, it’s 2 hours early… but I’m excited.
Phone rings. Nurse from FalseMessiah’s office. He had a “small stroke” with “unknown, but not good” damage sustained to his left hand. Later, I called bullshit… but further investigation showed that all was truthful – and he sold his practice soon after.

The last dentist was Dr. JesusH and the Holy Rollers. Dentist and staff were hardcore missionary Baptist. I’m listening to Tool on NO2, and one of the bitches pulls my loving earbud out of my ear. I’m in that gassed/stoned state, I don’t know what the gently caress is going on. She continues to tap me. Why is she tapping me? She’s tapping my head now. Why in the name of Mary Joseph gently caress is she tapping my head. I look at her in the classic “What the gently caress?” look. She’s dancing and clapping. She looks at me and exclaims, “This is my favorite hymn, Matthew!”. She’s still dancing. She’s still clapping. Even stoned on laughing gas, this is far too hosed up to approach.
JesusH ended up slapping on the fake teeth I have now. Shaved down what teeth I had left, and shaped them into posts. The fake teeth then fit over the natural posts. Him and his staff both ended up attempting to gently caress me by saying I had not paid several payments, and that before they’d “even look in my direction” again, I’d have to pay the $4,000 that I ‘owed’ them. I said I paid it. They said I didn’t. I recalled the date. “Nope. I was working the desk that day, we hardly had anyone here, and I KNOW I would have remembered if YOU came up and paid your tab *holier than thou snicker*”
So who wins that stalemate? Obviously the person with the god damned check copy.

I’ve been through so much loving dental pain, agony, and poo poo that fairly nice human beings shouldn’t have to go through. My lawyer recently dropped me, as he was working pro bono, and had expended buku resources on looking for an expert witness. They’d all agree, and then back out once Dr. Cockwallet was mentioned. I’m not sure if there is a secret club… or if he offers his wife out to gently caress friends and associates while at parties… all I know is that I’m running out of the following:
A.) Time (re-filed the case on Cockwallet. I’ve until around 11-18-03)
B.) Money (Consults, temp work, pulpectomies, various things to put on file)
C.) Energy (Too much pain. I’ll do an E/N about my Do-It-Yourself solutions to the dental pain that I’ve done. Funfunfun Dremel-tool-for-manicures-drilling-into-tooth-fun!
D.) Teeth (I have 19 teeth left in my mouth. If I take away the teeth that will obviously need to be pulled, I have 15 teeth. These cemented-in fake teeth are a fine temp. fix… but it’s only a matter of time before these break off at the gum-line, just like their brothers.
E.) Resources (I’ve been dumped by my lawyer. A U.S. District Court (6th circuit) judge heard about my problems, and is trying to set up another lawyer)

Anyone have relations that would be willing to look over my case as a potential professional witness or a dentist who would be willing to look over my case and consider assisting me in fixing my mouth or anything else helpful?
Thank you in advance. Sorry this was so long, the pictures help – I hope.

AphexMandelbrot fucked around with this message at Mar 1, 2003 around 03:08

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.

On one last note, the temp. teeth don't look too bad.
I was going to take a picture just for this thread, but I'm running late.
This picture is from the "Make a Emo/Goth Photo" thread a few weeks ago:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Shade Fell
Jun 1, 2000


I thought I had a crappy orthodontist experience just from having braces for two years (2nd and third grade), a retainer for a year, and then braces for seven more years. Oh, and did I mention that novocaine doesn't work on me, and that my orthodontist and dentist both told me that the pain was "in my head" and refused to give me NO? And that now when I have cavaties I don't bother getting novacaine at all and just let them drill? My teeth are still crooked and, 8 years later, I still have cement stuck to them. But hey, I still have all my teeth... not counting the eight that were pulled to make room in my mouth.

I recomend visiting your "doctor" with a baseball bat full of nails.

Or just collect your urine in jars and then throw the urine on his door.

Or put up fliers with your teeth and the slogan "dental work by (doctor's name here)" and his phone number.

Dec 30, 2000

Queen of Cuddlenaps

I can see God's name spelled out in your teeth.

Commander Fatline
Nov 5, 2002


I have had a few minor-bad dental mishaps, but that is hell on earth.

I completely know what you're talking about with the pain so bad you just freeze up as every nerve in your brain tries to make you pass out. That's horrible. You should get lots and lots of money. I'm not a fan of pointless litigation, but in some cases, such as this one certainly, people deserve compensation for other people loving up their lives. Best of luck with that.

Edit: 5, everyone needs to read this.

Oct 25, 2002

I literally have tears in my eyes, and I could only read the first post.

I have a strong neurosis about my teeth and often have dreams of them turning to chalk and powdering out of my mouth. My god, do I feel for you.

May 16, 2002

I wholly endorse some old-school style medieval dentistry for Dr. Cockwallet, preferably the kind involving blunt trauma and rusty pliers, performed by some ex-cons-for-hire that you've retained on a small down payment.

Jesus gently caress dude - is there any way that false teeth can be rooted into the bone, or are you looking at wearing dentures at a ridiculously early age because of what these shitheels have done?

Feb 25, 2002

make's u think

Fallen Rib

Holy gently caress. That sucks rear end man., I have two fake front teeth and went through many dentists, but it's over after about 6 years, and not near as bad. Good Luck.

Oct 11, 2002

Dance, monkey, dance!

Jesus goddamn homo christ loving a hobo. I admire your restraint and self-control. If this had happened to me I'm pretty sure I'd have killed at least three of the "dental professionals" you've had to deal with, and am pretty sure I'd be in jail getting rear end-raped right now.

Nov 23, 2002
like a storm... before you were born... nude love

Words fail me. That's terrible.

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.


Jazzzzz came out of the closet to say:
is there any way that false teeth can be rooted into the bone, or are you looking at wearing dentures at a ridiculously early age because of what these shitheels have done?

Implants are 'rooted'... stainless steel is grafted to the jawbone, and metal posts are attached from there.
For now, I've got these suckers cemented onto bone posts.....
Dr. JesusH used a Dremel-like tool, and shaved my teeth down into little posts. These shiny white things I have on slip over those, cemented. These have been on my teeth for around... . .. . 7+ months without needing any sort of reaffixing. Like I said, good enough for now. So long as I can speak and open my mouth and smile without wanting to eat razorblades.

Feb 28, 2002

All that lives lives forever.

When the gently caress did I get to a black and white noir version of Stileproject?!!?

I believe you have a good case for justifiable homicide... be ironic about it. Put his head in a brace. Or just back over it with a car. Or back over it with a lawn mower.

Feb 12, 2001

dope anime tiddies

Fun Shoe

Those drawings look like they belong in the necronomicon or something. Neat.

This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Sep 16, 2002


5 Tragedy Gold.

Jan 5, 2002
milk is liquid meat

wow. horrifying.

i am a lucky gently caress. father = dentist.

which is the ONLY reason i'm not scared to go to the dentist, even after that horror story.

Nov 18, 2002

my god.......

i have had my braces on for 5, almost 6 years...waaaayyy to loving long.
but now i finally have only 3 more months till i get the bastards off, but your story has scared me shitless. the main reason were taking them off is because my teeth are getting decay, and now your story...thanks a lot man.

but really, that is absolute bullshit. gently caress all those pricks and work on doing everything in your power (such as this) to expose these numbnuts. i feel bad you waited so long just to get screwed in the end.
now go get em and get what you deserve!

oh yeah and great drawings


Apr 17, 2002

Grimey Drawer

Oh. My. God. And I thought the 3 years I was in braces was an awful time. I take every cursed word back and stare in awe at what you had to go through.

Placing a '5' on this thread would be a meaningless gesture towards all of the mental and physical anguish that you had to endure all those years. But hell, I'll do it anyway in hopes that someone out there can find a respectable doctor that can help you.

Apr 10, 2002

kippered, mashed, smashed, destroyed...completely geschtonkenflapped

Holy poo poo. That really loving sucks, and I wish I knew a good, cheap lawyer (or a hitman) that could help you out. Nevertheless, very interesting post...God I never want braces =(

TCC: If you see this sig, it means that for once I wasn't too hosed up to remember the checkbox.

Dec 6, 2002

I hate kitties. Especially this one.

oh my...

If theres anywhere I can write a letter to about this please let me know. I had braces for about 5 years (2 perm teeth and 15 baby teeth removed also, I have a very tiny mouth) and I thought I felt pain till I saw your pics.

As an edit - If you are in the Florida area I know several good lawyers if you need some names.

Sep 28, 2001

by Lowtax

Wow.. just... wow.

This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

May 31, 2001

Come on!

Jesus christ.
Just... my god... this makes me glad I did just tell my orthadontist person the teeth were straight enough take the loving thing off already. Jesus, you should try to get in contact with other patiants of his, you can't be the only one to have been hosed. Hopefully the only one to be hosed that BAD though.
Like Kagome asked, is there anywhere we could write letters to or something to help you out?

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.


Kagome came out of the closet to say:

Heh. Used to live in West Palm Beach (-> Lake Worth). But many thanks none the less.
I'm swimming around in the FUNFUNFUN of Knoxville, TN. Heh.

Jul 10, 2001

Oh, cruel fates, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

Whatever happened with the lawyer and CockWallet?

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.


tRIDAV came out of the closet to say:
Whatever happened with the lawyer and CockWallet?

I was dropped by my lawyer around 2 months ago. He was working Pro bono, and he busted his rear end working on my stuff. No one would testify. No witness = No case. It was a checkmate. To win, I have to prove that it was more than 2/3rds his fault... while seemingly simple, it's hard without someone with a solid backround informing the judge that, in no crude terms, you were the bin marked Cum Recepticle at the Hell's Angels ball. (makes no sense... rephrase to "...terms, you got hosed in the rear end.".. yea. better.)

Aug 15, 2001
I paid for this.

I am shocked. I can barely think about my teeth without panicking and I go through panic attacks each time I have visit the dentist.

Your post made me cry inside. I hope you can sort this somehow.

Oh and go kick that dentist's rear end, blow up his car and surprise sex his wife. Christ that's hosed up.

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

I take back every bad thing I said about my dentist and will instead concentrate that malice and ill-will to the ones who did that to your mouth. They need to be beaten until the bruised purple turkey meat they call a heart stops functioning.

Jun 10, 2001

Wow. That's an amazing story. I had braces for 5 years and hated it. That must have been hell on earth.

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.


Lewis_gmb came out of the closet to say:
I am shocked. I can barely think about my teeth without panicking and I go through panic attacks each time I have visit the dentist.

Your post made me cry inside. I hope you can sort this somehow.

Oh and go kick that dentist's rear end, blow up his car and surprise sex his wife. Christ that's hosed up.

In the first few months... when I was boiling with rage.. I already decided what I'd do:
He has a teenage son. I'd force Cockwallet, at gunpoint - to take a Dremel tool, and drill holes in his son's teeth. Let him feel what it's like to be helpless.
I'd also videotape it, and constantly masturbate to it until my capture.

Either way, I'll poke back in a while. Girlfriend and friends demand LOTR watching at the movies.. so.. away I go.

If I don't, girlfriend will consume my soul. Don't let looks fool you, this woman will eat live babies whole for pennies on the dollar.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Jul 4, 2002

I thought I had a crappy experience too when they had to drill into the bone and "TAP" the post implant in the rest of the way for 4 hours.

This is where people usually snap and track those fuckers down late at night and re-enact the movie "The Dentist".

Gravy Train Bones
Jun 8, 2002

Ridiculous! I wasn't big on dentists before, but now I am a rabid anti-dentite. Aphex, have you considered contacting a dentist to testify somewhere far away from the nefarious dr cockwallet's influence?

Mar 31, 2002

Subject to change.


majcameron came out of the closet to say:
Ridiculous! I wasn't big on dentists before, but now I am a rabid anti-dentite. Aphex, have you considered contacting a dentist to testify somewhere far away from the nefarious dr cockwallet's influence?

Being worked on. That was one of the reasons for the thread... share my story, see if anyone had any other ideas that my family or I hadn't gone over.

Ok. Now I'm really leaving. Back at 9 a.m. to answer and reply.

May 12, 2002

Wanted For:
  • Terrorism
  • Kidnapping
  • Poor Taste
  • Unlawful Carnal Gopher Knowledge

I've had a bad tooth abcess after a root-canal gone horribly wrong. I've dosed myself up with codeine till I couldn't actually move and was scared to take more. I thought I knew what tooth pain was.

Looking at those pictures and reading your story I know I just scraped the tip of the iceberg. You thoroughly deserve your cute girlfriend.

Sep 6, 2001

Fruity oaty bars make you bust out of your blouse.

I am viciously opposed to America's lawsuit-happy, million dollar-providing culture, but I hope you get every spare penny Dr. Cockwallet has and more. I hope Dr. Cockwallet is left giving blowjobs to HIV+ men in the alleys of downtown Memphis for the little money he needs to buy his Ramen, the only thing he can afford to purchase. I hope Dr. Cockwallet lives a long and decrepid life. I hope he continues giving blowjobs for food well into his hundreds. And I hope his customers, after having blown their semen on his face, spit on him and kick him into a puddle of mud.

Holy gently caress.

Nov 19, 2002

gently caress, I practically threw up.
Sorry to hear they dragged you threw the mud and then pissed on you to clean it off. They deserve rapings in every orifice of thier body.

Edit: After reading this and the whole wisdom teeth thread, I think I may develop a phobia of my dentist's office.

Precious Roy
Jul 1, 2002


I've been wincing for about 10 minutes straight.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

Oct 6, 2002

Fucken Hell. You poor bastard.

I just had 2 root canals in one month and I feel lucky after reading this. - NZ Web Site Hosting

Oct 6, 2002


Precious Roy came out of the closet to say:

I've been wincing for about 10 minutes straight.

EDIT: Get a loving lawyer and plan your retirement. - NZ Web Site Hosting


Mar 5, 2002


Geiiga came out of the closet to say:
I hope you get every spare penny Dr. Cockwallet has and more.

That is what malpractice insurance is for. A successful lawsuit would only mean increased insurance premiums, which get passed on to the customer anyway. Either way, Cockwallet wins.

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