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Directed by: Paul Moore Starring: unknowns Synopsis: Ol' 'Lijah was a good, church-going fellow from Carson County West Virginia, that is, until he made a pact with the devil to help his corn field. This movie is about Sean, greatgrandson of Elijah, and inheritor of Elijah's illustrious estate. He, his fiance, and four of their friends set off from Richmond Virginia (I think) on a trip to the farm in Carson to PARTAY! But partyin's gonna be the last thing on their mind! After smoking doobies, these renegades decide they need some ice, so Sean goes to the local general store to not only find it closed, but instead ends up talking to a ghastly woman with a disfiguring scar and a pasty complexion who in turn tells him about the farm's evil background. He then tells his friends about this, they tell him he's crazy and way "tweaking", and they later decide to get naked and swim in a cesspool and you are fortunate enough to witness the most unattractive lesbian make-out scene ever in this pool of poo poo. So after some more terrible dialogue and drinking, they are killed one by one by horribly-clad scarecrow monsters with lens flares for eyes. Technical faults: This movie is ridden with terrible camera work, shoddy editing, angles that don't match up (i.e. one of the characters was talking, and then the camera angle changed and although she is saying her same lines, her body is positioned differently), shows trails from movement much like a webcamera would, blurry closeups, slow framerates, etc., etc. Now on to dialogue: unrehearsed, forced, poorly delivered, devoid of any and all emotion, death screams sound as if they are from miles away, numerous one-liners all fail with the exception of one ("The bitch strength midol is in aisle 2"). Deaths were predictable and lacking in diversity (everyone who dies is impaled by a scythe). Miscellaneous rants: This movie looks as though it was filmed entirely on a Gameboy camera. I don't think anyone involved in this project knew anything about film editing, in fact, I'm willing to bet it wasn't shot on film. There was a part when the main character is talking to an old woman in a rocking chair and one of her lines is terribly out of synch with her mouth. The chick shooting the flare gun fires it, and then 2 seconds later a trail of flames shoot out of the gun. Every single spoken line is corny as hell. Elijah Baker's voice changes from bearing a heavy southern accent, to one that's almost effeminate. Sean's voice changes from time to time from regular to something close to a speech impediment. One good thing about this movie the scene where one of the women walks up to this siloh where Sean is fleeing from a scarecrow. The camera would focus in on her holding a flaregun, and then I would say something along the lines of "Nerf or nothin'" or "The only official gun for Duck Hunt" and then immediately rewind it, and my friend would think of something else to say. Good times, but definitely wasn't worth any money at all. Me and my friends filmed a 15-minute short for our public speaking class that was of better quality, filming and acting wise. Unless you enjoy B-movies (this wasn't even a B film. More of a C or D, if that's even possible)and the humor that spawns from them, just stay as far away from this film as humanly possible. 0/5 RATING: 0 PROS: n/a CONS: sound recorded with a karaoke machine, shot with a Gameboy Camera, actors purchased through unemployment office ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: n/a
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May 9, 2004 07:24
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 22:40 |
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HAHAHAH! I saw this. It was bad. But I enjoyed it for that reason to some extent. Well... It was better than the movie we watched right before, S.I.C.K. It was on the new release rack, so we thought it couldn't be that bad. The plot was very weak and the actors were untalented. It reminded me of the old Goosebumps episode of the "Scarecrow Walks Among Us". Only that had much higher production values. It was good for a laugh. 1/5
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Jun 1, 2004 20:53
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