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Directed by: George A. Romero Starring: Jason Beghe, John Pankow, Boo This is the second consecutive horror review I've written (after "Cube") and also the second consecutive 2.5 film, largely for the same reasons. The horror industry really needs to get some better scripts and some better actors — both "Monkey Shines" and "Cube" started out with good premises, but were hampered by clumsy acting and hammy dialogue. "Monkey Shines" is based on a novel, and it shows. Only a horror novel could take a ridiculous character such as a homicidal monkey and fashion from it a believable, entertaining story. And, as either a credit to or a criticism of George A. Romero's directorial skills, "Monkey Shines" plays out like a novel. There is no violence for the first hour, and if it weren't for the box cover, one might be more inclined to believe it was a Lifetime movie about a quadriplege overcoming the odds with the help of a genius monkey. This provides ample time to set up the characters and makes for a richer horror film, a technique more directors should cop. When the violence does come, Romero at first shows the kind of restraint a Puritan would, which begs the question, "Is this a horror movie?" Romero hesitates to even show a cabin on fire. OK, I can live with that; the man who brought graphic zombie horror to the mainstream is going for a more literary, less visceral approach to the medium. Then it all goes to hell. The dark, stormy night. The characters invariably converging after an aborted phone call at the protagonist's house. The killer monkey running here and there, wreaking laughable havoc thanks to Tom Savini's amateurish special effects. Boring. God, if George A. Romero had a oval office, I'd stab him in it for allowing a decent premise to sink this low by formula. By the time Allan is a few teeth deep into Ella's skin and swinging her around with nothing but his face (it seriously looks like a muskrat is trying to maw-gently caress him), I just wanted to poo poo. Oh, well. Romero at least had something good, if only for an hour or so. Note: This movie has the weirdest sex scene I have seen in an '80s horror movie. Just think about this: It involves a quadriplege, a hoist, a monkey trainer and her cadre of monkeys. Ooooh, yeah.  RATING: 2.5 PROS: Tight writing keeps premise believable, a whole lot of cute monkeys CONS: Bad pacing, inconsistent acting, laughable last third ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0095652/
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Jun 16, 2004 14:36
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