|
Directed by: Dwight Little Starring: KaDee Strickland, Johnny Messner, Morris Chestnut, Matthew Marsden A film like this does not deserve a full review in the traditional sense. Instead, it deserves something akin to a series of bullet points. As such, I give you the following. Best element: The lone reference to the events of the original film is pretty amusingly odd and vague. Funniest element: The pet monkey that travels along on the expedition gets more reaction shots than any of the human actors. We have to cut to the monkey to see his feelings on the snakes, the jokes, the lame-rear end dialogue and more. There's even an extended "Snake vs. Monkey" segment that's laughable in the extreme. Most surprising element: The fact that CGI snake technology apparently has not improved since 1997. I thought the '97 anacondas looked sketchy, but now I feel all warm and fuzzy about them. At least they did more interesting things than these manage to do. Most disappointing element: KaDee Strickland, who has been promoted as an up-and-comer appearing in notable roles in various major films over the next year and who actually competed for the role of Sue Storm in the Fantastic Four movie... really sucked in this. She's very cute, it's true. But she's also horrible. Especially the way she fakes a horrendous Southern accent at the film's start and then mysteriously loses it halfway through. Yuck. All told, I was sadly rooting for much of the cast to be eaten. The only honestly endearing character is simply endearing because he rips off some schtick I liked in Event Horizon, which is not a great claim. I really thought that since they went for a cast of unknowns this time out, they could afford more/better hardcore snake action. Wrong-o. Admittedly, a few of the actors are decent, such as Chestnut. But the leads manage to be among the suckiest of the flick. Oh, how I longed for the days of ultra-hammy Jon Voight. I think I may have to check out the original again now. And someday I hope that somebody finally makes a good snake movie. I will be waiting. It gets 1/5 from me for snakes-in-the-face, pretty jungle scenery, a few passable performances and the unintentional comedy. RATING: 1.0 PROS: Will make you appreciate the first film a lot more. CONS: From the largely inept acting to the horrendous writing to the 1994-level CGI work, it's hard to pick the worst element. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366174/
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2004 03:44
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 04:32 |
|
|
A simple movie deserves a simple review, so here goes: this is a turkey, basted in a mixture of poo poo and vinegar. If you're looking for weak characterization and a series of half-assed scenes attempting suspense and/or action, this is the movie for you - though you may have to lobotomize yourself beforehand in order to find it interesting. My hatred of this movie is also fuelled by the fact that its production cost me an internship with the visual effects company which did the effects. They signed me up for an internship and then stated they were too busy working on the movie in Fiji to let me work for them.  Another reason to avoid it at all costs.In conclusion, in a film festival of suck, this movie would come second. Because it sucks too much to come first. Rated 1.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2004 14:50
|
|
|
NICE REVIEW YOU JERK 
Somebody fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Sep 10, 2004 |
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2004 10:00
|
|
|
Horrible. Eveything worth anything has been said by these two. It's just like the 'original': a bunch of people running away from a cartoon. 1/5
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2004 17:01
|
|
|
I think you people are rating this film far too highly. It's such a turd that it makes one desire death for all parties involved, including the audience.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2004 17:20
|
|
|
I saw it at a pre screening and i didnt mind it, me and the girl I was with made fun of it the whole time. 2.5 only cause it was free
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2004 02:50
|
|
|
I watched this film because a girl dragged me into it. It was extremely campy and the actors were out-acted by the monkey. Don't expect oscar award winning performances here. The monkey saved the movie for me. Rated with Monkey : 2/5 Rated without Monkey: 1/5
|
|
#
?
Sep 18, 2004 09:06
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 04:32 |
|
|
Dumb movie, tries to be serious but comes accross as hilarious, but I was happy to sit through it for the snake orgy scene at the end. 2/5
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2004 07:06
|
|
