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Directed by: Neal Israel Starring: Ernie Reyes, Jr., Ernie Reyes, Sr., Rob Schneider "Surf Ninjas" is one of the true greats in the pantheon of Incredibly Stupid Movies. The film tells the story of two adopted California brothers of indeterminate Asian origin (played by Ernie Reyes, Jr., and some kid) who are concerned with little else besides surfing, goofing off and being terrible students. UNTIL they discover one evening, via a gang of assassins who torch their father's restaurant and are thwarted in exterminating the family only by the efforts of a mysterious ninja stranger (Ernie Reyes, Sr.), that they are actually lost princes of a fictional country called Potusan, currently under the rule of the evil Colonel Chi, who is also supposed to be some sort of cyborg and is played by Leslie Neilsen. In case you missed that the country sounds like the name of a portable toilet company, this will be pointed out at several key intervals throughout the film. The boys set out to reclaim their thrones, with the help of the ninja stranger, who turns out to be the royal nanny who helped the boys escape the country as children. Also along for the revolution are Rob Schneider, as Ernie Reyes, Jr.'s obnoxious and dimwitted pal (ROB SCHNEIDER IS: VAGUELY YOUNGER AND REDHEADED), a Los Angeles cop who joins them for reasons I don't remember, and the hot Potusani girl whom Ernie Reyes, Jr. has been arranged to marry since birth. (There is quite a lot of tension surrounding this point until it's discovered that she's hot.) Oh, come on, I hear you saying. This ragtag bunch of misfits couldn't possibly be powerful enough to overthrow a cyborg and liberate a nation! You've got some attitude, mister. Besides, you haven't been clued in yet on the most important assets of these here surf ninjas: they have secret powers they're just now discovering! Ernie Reyes, Jr. turns out to be a mighty warrior, as his father apparently was before he got killed by the cyborg, but his brother has something even better: the kid's a seer, who gleans his prophecies by watching the future appear in his hand-held video game unit. It's not even a Gameboy, it's one of those flat plastic games that have like three buttons. Whether you think that viewing the fates of these crude, 16-bit characters being played out through bad game graphics is immensely wonderful or hideously wretched says quite a lot about you as a person. Why have I seen this film probably ten times? Well, at first, I was too young to realize how terrible it was (that did not last long), then I knew it was a terrible movie but I was in the stage where you'd rather watch a movie you know sucks but is at least moderately entertaining than something that might actually be decent, and now I bring it to parties where it can be appreciated in true ironic glory. Most of the movie's suspense lies in figuring out how the surf ninja brothers will eventually save the country with their surfing abilities (honestly, though, I have to say I'm still not sure exactly what's going on when this happens, or what any of the war stuff means, although it's possible I've just never been paying enough attention by that point to catch the situation). I still think a few of Rob Schneider's bits are pretty funny, although he'll never win a Pulitzer for his incisive social commentary. And the nanny ninja gets in a few good potshots at Schneider, who he calls a "chattering monkey." Now THAT'S social commentary. I don't know. It's terrible, but as bad movies go, it's not bad. It would probably be better to watch if you were high on something at the time. One word of warning: if you are confused about what the Beach Boys are actually saying in their song "Barbara Ann," this film will only befuddle you further, so you may want to get that cleared up beforehand. edit for correction: Okay, maybe it was a Sega Game Gear that the kid uses, I don't really remember. quote:Is this the movie where a red-headed guy in a wheelchair tells the police "Don't make me beat you with a leg of mine that no longer works, because I'LL DO IT!" with a horrible fake Scottish accent? Yes. And it is. RATING: 1.5 PROS: Mildly entertaining if you enjoy bad movies CONS: A very bad movie ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108258/ Propaniac fucked around with this message at 14:39 on Sep 8, 2004 |
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Sep 7, 2004 17:42
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 21:09 |
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I must have been 10 when I saw this movie, and I loved it then, so I won't question it. Also, I'm 90% certain the use a Game Gear to find directions.
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Sep 8, 2004 03:21
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quote:camslovesanime came out of the closet to say: I'm 100% sure they do. I absolutely love this movie, and I hate my cousin for finding it on DVD and not buying me a copy. MOTOSURF!!!
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Sep 8, 2004 07:29
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Is this the movie where a red-headed guy in a wheelchair tells the police "Don't make me beat you with a leg of mine that no longer works, because I'LL DO IT!" with a horrible fake Scottish accent? Because I thought that was hilarious. I guess I just love bad movies.
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Sep 8, 2004 10:20
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I thoroughly enjoyed this, but like the above posters, I last saw it when I was 10. It really is full of stupid scenes, like the part where Ernie Jr. sings a Beach Boys song to improvise for a school performance, in front of the (gasp) leader of Potusan. It really is neat though. At the very least, Surf Ninjas surpasses the movie with Mr. Miagi and the three young boys.
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Sep 8, 2004 21:27
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quote:ClumsyThief came out of the closet to say: 3 ninjas is not bad it was the sequels that sucked much major rear end. Surf ninjas i have not seen in many years but you got to love a movie where a gamegear kills the main bad guy. I would rate this movie a 5 I love bad movies. Plus in 3 ninjas you had those kidnappers they beat the poo poo out of.
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Sep 10, 2004 03:51
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AH SKATEBOARD AH He is the man that comes to you at night if you don't eat your vegetables. It's a great movie if you are young but trying to judge it as an adult is folly at times. There are very memorable scenes in the movie especially the "I've found waldo" scene and fights. However it seems the movie was rushed in the end was a mixed blend of Asian culture that just didn't fit together correctly. As kid it would get a 4, an adult a 2. Voted 3.
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Sep 10, 2004 06:08
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