MSpaint your illogical childhood notions

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > MSpaint your illogical childhood notions

Kaf: Mar 20, 2005; This thread is dyn-o-mite!

Remember those crackpot ideas you had as a kid? The ones that now, after a bit of :pseudo:

, makes you look back and say "what the gently caress was I thinking?"

You almost convinced the neighborhood kids you were right, though. Almost.

Now, MSpaint 'em! Mine:

EDIT: vvv - Explanation: I thought cats were the girls and dogs were the boys. (Y'know, of the same species.) I also thought Michael Jackson's Moonwalk was a magical power that allowed him to fly.

Kaf fucked around with this message at 18:24 on Feb 14, 2006

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:20

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# ? May 22, 2025 23:54

Zylen: Mar 25, 2005; The third time, the exception becomes the rule

I have no clue what either of those are about

Ninja edit: You thought cats loved dogs and that MJ could fly?

Edit #2: ^^ Ooooooh, yeah. What the gently caress were you thinking?

Zylen fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Feb 14, 2006

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:22

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005

Dogs and cats love each other and something about Michael Jackson?

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:23

Manos del Sino: Apr 12, 2004; Original Pony; Soiled Meat

Zylen posted:

I have no clue what either of those are about

Cats & Dogs living together?

Moonwalker?

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:23

High_Life: Sep 19, 2004; MIND GAMES...

Edit: Why would I think that the whole state had a team over the city with the same name.

High_Life fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Feb 14, 2006

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:25

Ignavus: Oct 28, 2005

I don't know how to MS Paint this. There was a commercial for these He-Man toys when I was young. They had a spring in them so that when you twisted He-Man, his body would spin around making a "punching" gesture. In the commercial when this happened, the toy would knock down a wall that was like a foot away from it. I wanted that because I thought it was awesome to be able to punch things without being able to touch them.

Like a year and a half later I was being babysat at someone's house, and I saw one of those toys. It did not work.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:31

Dynasty Penguin: Apr 9, 2005; by elpintogrande

Because girls always wore bras in my area I could never see there nipples through there shirts and as a kid for some reason I got the notion that girls had no nipples. NONE. Or areolas. WEEEE!
possibly :nws:

http://fi.somethingawful.com/is/img383/2973/boobies6ik.gif

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:32

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

I remember when I was around 3 or 4 I noticed that after it snowed, I went outside and the pond had frozen over. This led me to believe that ice was created by mixing water and snow.

Of course I then proved myself wrong after I tried it. It made nice slush though.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:33

SombreroAgnew: Sep 22, 2004; unlimited rice pudding

I thought God was a bear. In a nightgown. That lived on the moon.

I don't know why.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:33

Gibbons: Dec 8, 2005; life's little hurdles

I don't know what I was thinking...

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:36

Neko Sou: Jan 24, 2006; Scarved Wonder

Yeah, I used to imagine little people living in my radio that sang. I dunno how they sang all the various kinds of music, but they were the same people.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:39

noonches: Dec 5, 2005; It represents my lifestyle and stratus as a street savy irreverent youth, who lives large, and yet hungers for the next level in life.

High_Life posted:

Edit: Why would I think that the whole state had a team over the city with the same name.

I live in DC, when I was a child, I thought the washington I lived in was in the pacific northwest. Those weather reports confused the hell out of me.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:40

Colonel Panic: Jul 22, 2005

Kaf posted:

There's something horribly wrong with this picture. :gonk:

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:42

TheRiffie: Jan 31, 2006; I sleep down here sometimes.

My illogical childhood notion: I thought that women magically became pregnant when they got married.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:44

Lilifer: Jan 20, 2006; adasjdhakjhd

When I was small I had relationships with everyone on TV, even Data from Star Trek. He used to visit me through the catflap but he stopped coming when we moved house.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:46

homo for the holidays: Jan 6, 2006; Passive Agressive Faggot

TheRiffie posted:

My illogical childhood notion: I thought that women magically became pregnant when they got married.

I used to think this exact same thing, but i thought god made the baby appear some how.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:47

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

I didn't know what the gently caress.

EDIT: I just assumed there was nothing there, you know?

OMG JC a Bomb! fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Feb 14, 2006

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:52

Lovecraftian Girl: Jul 15, 2005; I hope the cool kids quote me today!

Lilifer posted:

When I was small I had relationships with everyone on TV, even Data from Star Trek. He used to visit me through the catflap but he stopped coming when we moved house.

He stopped coming because he met ME and we got MARRIED.

I thought everything on Str Trek was real, and my dad encouraged this idea by telling me I didn't have to go to school next year, because he'd send me to Starfleet next year. Always next year...thanks for stringing me along dad...

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:54

Ignavus: Oct 28, 2005

Too vulgar for MSPaint: "Girls pee out of their butts."

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:55

Scarf: Jun 24, 2005; On sight

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:56

Women's Rights?: Nov 16, 2005; Ain't give a damn

I thought math worked this way for the longest time...

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 14, 2006 18:59

WhoopsNjingles: Apr 13, 2002; ...Saucy.

When I was around seven and learning about the "birds, bees and menstrual periods" for the first time I somehow got the idea that women wore pads on the outside of their pants when they were on the rag.

I decided to test my cunning plan by prancing around the house with a huge pink Kotex pad stuck to the crotch of my jeans like some sort of puffy salmon colored canoe. Fortunately, Mom set me straight after she looked at me and said "What in the WORLD are you doing?". Good thing she did, or I think I'd be getting a lot of weird looks around the end of every month...

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# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:03

Lesbian Dentist #47: May 28, 2004

I thought babies came out of a woman's belly button.

Well, it's not totally far fetched. I also thought women bled out of their nipples during their period, but I didn't come to that conclusion on my own. Someone on the bus told me that.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:18

A Deadly Virus: Sep 13, 2005

Cranial Kitten posted:

He stopped coming because he met ME and we got MARRIED.

I thought everything on Str Trek was real, and my dad encouraged this idea by telling me I didn't have to go to school next year, because he'd send me to Starfleet next year. Always next year...thanks for stringing me along dad...

Hahaha. I used to think that all the actors really lived on the set and during commercials they'd take coffee breaks or go to the bathroom.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:22

Ignavus: Oct 28, 2005

Did anybody else think that the people who worked at stores and fast food joints lived there?

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:24

Queezey: Nov 7, 2005; Yeah, he's always this happy...

Artificial intelligence was a tad over my head at age 5, I'll admit. But I could've sworn the data was going through that huge freaking power brick...

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:33

perpetua*: May 16, 2004; ...I'm all out of bubblegum

Thunder was a big brown box in the sky that made that huge booming noise

(Yes, I suck at paint)

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# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:33

SailorBob: Nov 5, 2005; :D WE LOVE YOU!

Ignavus posted:

Did anybody else think that the people who worked at stores and fast food joints lived there?

Yes, because when I was very little, a girl I knew had an older brother who owned a pizza shop, and he lived in a tiny apartment above the shop. It was actually about 4 feet tall, and he had to always bend over to walk around. Since then, I figured all employees of those kinds of places lived in the establishments. I finally figured out they didn't when I was about 11 and my sister got a job at McDonalds, electing to sleep at home every night. :v:

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:35

Josh Wow: Feb 28, 2005; We need more beer up here!

High_Life posted:

Edit: Why would I think that the whole state had a team over the city with the same name.

I didn't know this until right now when I looked it up on Google to make sure you were right. Sometimes I'm dumb as hell.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:36

purity control: Jan 2, 2005; i look better in real life. seriously.

TheRiffie posted:

My illogical childhood notion: I thought that women magically became pregnant when they got married.

I used to think something like that too. I used to think women automatically got pregnant at around 13 or so (or whenever this unnamed puberty-like phase happened, that I thought of) got married only to have a man help them raise their kid. It was weird thinking I wasn't related to my dad. I remember thinking as a kid, "When I'm 12 or 13, I'll ask Mom if I can have an operation so that doesn't happen to me."

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:43

Nil Desperandum!: Jan 28, 2006; Courage, I say! Courage, not goodness, is the great desideratum!

Adulthood sucks.

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:43

Eew Tofurkey: Feb 11, 2006; by Lowtax

Somehow I thought this was how you comforted people

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:47

Midnight Louise: Dec 14, 2005; always waitin' for someone / to ask for her hand

This isn't one of mine -- no ice cream trucks in my area -- but it's a frequent theme on http://iusedtobelieve.com/, an awesome compendium of these beliefs. Hee hee, crafty moms.

This is one of mine. I thought vans with metal luggage racks and ladders had a pool up on top.

Midnight Louise fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Feb 14, 2006

# ? Feb 14, 2006 19:51

HellOnEarth: Nov 7, 2005; Now that's good jerky!

I thought the President of the United States lived on the West Coast... Lousy Washington... I didn't find out until last year.

I live in Canada! I don't know nothin'!