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09/13/06 Edit - In an effort to make as many people as happy as possible without resorting to blowjobs, I've gone through and added italicized text captions for all of the animations for all of the old updates. I had some complaints that some people "wanted" to read the thread, but couldn't because they hated trying to read my animated conversations. So no more excuses to miss out on the hillarity. Enjoy it... Whiners. . Inspired by the kick-rear end Let's play Quest for Glory thread, I bring unto you...      Vanity, thy name is Son of Bug Jug.   I'm not cleaning that up.   After only a few steps he slumps to the floor. Give that man an Emmy!   Cleaning up space puke for a living tends to make you hate life.   Title : Astral Body Searching... Title Found... Retrieving. My Mom always told me to do whatever strange old men tell me to - might as well type that into the computer.  In the future, ladders are a lost technology.  Open the pod bay doors, Hal.  They let anybody at all open and close the bay doors, but you need a keycard to take this elevator.  You turn the dial to the right. The light begins to glow. Space schwag! This stuff's going on Ebay. But for now, we'll settle for turning on the Universal translator.  A baffling number of the initial "puzzles" can be solved with "look panel" and "push button".  close door wear seatbelt push power button push autonav pull throttle Flyin' ain't easy but it's necessary.   Phew! Flying away from the danger, now I can relax.  drat IT! Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 23, 2006 10:17
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Capntastic posted:Looks good, but I demand screenshots of untimeley demises! The unique deaths (at least the ones that I'm aware of) will certainly be included. But don't get too excited, compared to QFG1 they are few and far between. For the most part you just get a generic, "Well you sure did suck" message. Disco Cat posted:I hope you're aiming for a perfect score. I don't think I ever managed to get 202/202 in Space Quest, and I'd be interested to find out what optional actions I skipped. You bet.
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Jul 23, 2006 10:31
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VomitOnLino posted:Not to disturb your nice thread, but you could maybe use the SpaceQuest 1 VGA version, unless there is something I'm overlooking here - besides added nostalgia. (Yes I only played the EGA one, too.) I never liked the point-n-click Sierra games. Spending hours trying to figure out the EXACT phrase that they're looking for is half the fun. Push button I don't understand Push the button I don't understand Push the button on the panel I don't understand Push panel button You can't push the panel Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 11:11 on Jul 23, 2006 |
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Jul 23, 2006 10:59
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 I can get HBO on that screen, right?... Right?   Sounds nice.  What's the worst that could happen?     The take-away for this Let's Play thread is that if you're ever in a crash, make sure to grab some broken glass.  This is the point where the developers stopped worrying about making the game fun, and started worrying about making the game long.  OMFG QUICKSAND!!!!!!  Wait... what?
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Jul 23, 2006 11:53
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Alright, let's make some progress - Forward MARCH! You've been snatched from existence by a tentacled beast lurking beneath the grate. You feel the painful sting of digestive fluids. Oh Anime - is there no childhood memory you can't pervert?  Okay, we can survive some light tickling.  The door opens when we put the rock on the geyser. High Security meets Rube Goldberg.   You lean over to drink from the tempting pool of liquid. As your lips touch the liquid you feel a pain that could be likened to kissing a lit rocket nozzle. Now you know what they say by "Don't drink the water." That's right. You have no head. That darn pool must be filled with acid. You obviously can't go on living that way. It's still better than Diet Pepsi. At least beams of light can't hurt me.  You are now lying on the floor in many pieces. Guess those beams meant business, Son of Bug Jug.  You quite cleverly turn the beam upon itself, frying it to inoperability.  As soon as you enter the room, you find yourself surrounded by darkness. Suddenly you become aware of the fact that you cannot move or speak. A strange, unknown force has taken over. A massive holographic image appears before you. You sense that you are the only life form in the area.      No problemo!   Does the Orat count as an organic life form?    Now the long trek back to the cave in the desert heat.  Time to whip out the survival kit.   That's better than Diet Pepsi too.       Once more unto the breach. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 24, 2006 02:32
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SpaceChief posted:You forgot to look at the water bottle. Forgot, or put off until now to make it better?   
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Jul 24, 2006 04:53
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FairGame posted:Already, I'm learning something. I hated having to drop the big loving rock on the spiderbot. Didn't know you could do both at once. You get 10 points either way, I just prefer this one.
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Jul 24, 2006 05:39
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Harry Joe posted:It wasn't mentioned yet so i'll ask, will you be going through the entire series? (please say yes) I've only ever played 1 through 3, so no matter what somebody else would need to do 4 and 5. Monkeyman1138 posted:Awesome death-wise you forgot to warp yourself to King's Quest in the escape pod! Ask, and ye' shall receive.        
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Jul 24, 2006 06:27
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Cyberventurer posted:Having never played a * Quest game in my life, ever, I really want to know what taste and smell do with the acid pool now. Sadly, in the EGA version, nothing happens.
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Jul 24, 2006 21:06
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 You can tell they're an advanced race because of the robes.  A peaceful race, except for putting hits on local creatures.     Gee, thanks for the ship that I can use to... Go and get another ship.  One quick game of Pac-Man before I leave.       Grab the cartridge for the points, and away we go.     The skimmer is already programmed with my destination, how hard can this be?  THUMP!!! Damage Reprt : Minor THUMP!!! Damage Reprt : Moderate THUMP!!! Damage Reprt : Serious THUMP!!! Damage Reprt : Damage situation critical! Had you eaten a few less donuts during the mission, you might've cleared taht rock, Son of Bug Jug. ... Or if the aliens had just given me a half-decent ship.   
Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 24, 2006 23:11
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As far as the VGA remake goes - my first priority is to get through as many of the originals as I can. If I still have a boner for Space Quest after all that, I'll try to do the remake. Anyays - Let's take care of Ulence Flats!  30 buckazoids? Your mother charges more than that.  Booze money!   Note the band on stage.  These "coupons" were actually physically included in the game box as copy protection, and aren't mentioned anywhere else in the game (they don't appear in your inventory). The idea being that if you didn't buy the game you'd never know "you" had them, and would never have enough money to get off the planet.   Section HH you say? ... Dun dun dun...    I'm on my way! Just need a ship.  We're going to need more money to buy a ship, so let's hit the Slots.  Gambling is much easier when you can save/restore.  Three Skulls! I won! I won! Also notice the new band on stage.  That's the other half of the copy protection. The machine will only ever let you get to 250 buckazoids, which isn't enough if you don't use the coupons.  And here's the third band.  Okay, let's buy a ship!  I'll take it!  You proudly climb into your new used spacecraft. There is definitely somthing unique about it.  Okay, the first one was probably just a fluke. How about this blue one?  I'll take it!  You shell out the buckazoids and hop in. Anxiously you fire it up and lift off.    Third times a charm. I'll take it!  Great, I'm outta here!  ... Hey, Thanks for telling me about the droid-needing before I wasted my money on this piece of poo poo. Oh wait.  I wonder if these guys sell Droids?   Do you guys have any Tranny-Sex-Droids?    I'll take it! Unlike the ship store, there's nothing fun to see if you buy the wrong droid. The three on the floor you can't afford, and the green one just falls apart.  Droid : What sector shall I head for, sir? Wilco : HH Droid : Sector HH it is. I will proceed with course entry. Alien : Hey! Wait a minute! Where do you think you're goin' with my ship!?!? Up up and away! Watch out Sariens, Son of Bug Jug is a comin' after you. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:07 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 25, 2006 04:12
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alien8 posted:I see you've got one of the early revisions of SQ1, before Toys 'R Us made Sierra change the droid shop to Droids 'B Us. Good call. Here's the easter egg, with bonus droid-watching-you-pee action.  You leave a moist arch on the building's side. Drat! You could've done without that sudden gust of wind! You beam with pride having just written your name in the sand. Edit : And here's a scan of the aformentioned coupons. 
Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Aug 27, 2006 |
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Jul 25, 2006 04:27
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  There's no such thing as bad booze.  Spell-checkers don't exist in the future.        You grasp the large handle and twist, noticing the rather significant amount of pain being registered. You are extremely grateful to hear a click.   The door can't be opened from inside the airlock, so just wait until something nelse opens the door and sneak through.  get in chest You climb into the trunk. The lid pounds shut above you. Yeah, this is a great idea.    Might as well, it worked with the trunk.  Well Son of Bug Jug, it certainly appears as though you're about to become all washed up!    Up next... DENSITY. ... I mean, uh, DESTINY. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:11 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 25, 2006 06:02
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BlondRobin posted:Does the widget for the slot machine only appear in the VGA remake? I think so.  get widget I don't understand "widget". Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:11 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 25, 2006 07:34
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At last, the Vinegar strokes. Starting off with a couple things that are just for points.  Guard : Do you own King's Quest II? Wilco : Yes. Guard : Great! Ponderring this guy's interest, you wonder if this guy is getting a kickback from Sierra On-line. Later you realize this is silly. What would a Sarien do with money from Coarsegold?   Robot : Welcome to the Weapons Dispensary. I will assist you, please supply me with your identification card. Robot : Excuse me, I will retrieve your weapon. (Wilco takes a grenade) Robot : Your rank allows you to bear 1 pulseray unit. Remember, no firing in the ship. Have a nice day. Stealing a grenade 101.  The grenade drops to the floor releasing its poisonous gas on the unsuspecting alien. Good shot, Son of Bug Jug! One more trip to the armory to get the second grenade, and we're in like Flynn.  My, aren't you the clumsy one. Because of your inability to walk without falling on your face, your helmet is now riding the elevator without you. You've blown your cover. The sariens are sure to shoot first and ask questions later. Oh good, I was worried the rest of this would be simple.  It's hard to appreciate these early Sierra games if you've never played one - but here's my shot at describing it. I swear to Xenu that this gif actually happened exactly as depicted, and is not exagerated in any way.  push control button That does not computer. push remote control button That does not compute. push button on control I don't understand your request. push button on remote That is not currently one of your options.  push on button Suddenly, the force field protecting the Star Generator disappears.  Remember the code that the cartridge gave?   Do NOT get in my way   get in esacpe pod You swiftly slip into the sleek ship. (Try saying that three times fast.)       Aww, I was hoping for cash.   Thanks for playing Space Quest Watch for Space Quest II Stay tuned for Space Quest 2! Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:20 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 25, 2006 08:43
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  Alright! Nothing can possibly go wrong.  D'oh!  Does that look like a vagina to anybody else?     A beep emanates from your wristwatch. You release your grip on the broom.   Oooh, Buttons!  press h YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY : Keep up the good work! Today could bring that big promotion you think you deserve! Don't take any qooden buckazoids!   You are whisked away to the airlock chamber.  Stand by for decontamination. Space germs can't stand Disco lights.  Let's check out my locker.  This was already in my suit pocket.  Hey!  Heh, uh... heh... It's probably because it's so stretched out from my giant penis.   Uhh... About that. Where do we keep the spare brooms?  You're into the game barely 7 minutes and already you've nimbly stepped to your death. How far down your family tree did knuckles last play an important role in locomotion? Watch your step next time. Oooh, Shiny!       THWACK!! BINCK!! THUD!! POW!!   Time passess... More time passes...   Goons!  Kinky!   Oh Good - a friendly face. Surely that was all a misunderstanding. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:27 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 26, 2006 03:02
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 ... Dad?     Show me on the doll where they touched you.       But after that I can go home, right?    Get your paws off me, you drat. DIRTY. APES!   Remember the days when parallax scrolling kicked rear end? Me neither.  Did I fart?     Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!    At least things can't get any worse.
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Jul 26, 2006 06:56
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Iblys posted:I'm not kidding. Thread of the god damned YEAR.  Heh, I appreciate the feedback. Glad people are enjoying the thread.
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Jul 26, 2006 08:31
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Xythar posted:Awesome, SQ2. For some reason I still remember the "Way to go, Exlax!" (or whatever it said) death message when you stepped off the space station's platform at the start. This was before I knew what Exlax was (it's not a brand that's sold here) so I thought it was just a cool name. Good call on the missed death.  Due to an obvious lack of common sense you have stepped off the edge, lost your magnetic grip of the ship, and drifted to your death. Way to go, wingnut! Once again you've demonstrated your inability to sustain life. You quickly glance around the room to see if anyone saw you blow it. Thanks for playing Space Quest II, Son of Bug Jug, you've been swell to watch. Have a Nice Day. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 26, 2006 09:13
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  gently caress body You're one twisted Mofo. The only other person I know who would try that is Mark Croew. What!? Oh like you weren't thinking it too.   Once the homing signal is turned off, I'm sure there'll be nothing to worry about.  Aaaagh! You fall to the bottom of a concealed pit. You might have survived the fall had you not come in contact with the several 30 centimeter spikes planted vertically at the bottom of the pit.  Holy jeez, boy! That mushroom thing sucked you clean up! You can't move a muscle nor see a single speck of light. You begin feeling waves of tingling, warmth, and moisture. Suddenly, it's not so bad in here. Wow, check out the colors, dude. Your body and mind enjoy the short-lived buzz that is the side-effect of the lethal poison you now marinate in. You are oblivious to the end, not a bad way to go, actually. But it sure is early in the game. I had high hopes for you. They said "Why? Son of Bug Jug? No way, that chump won't last twenty minutes!" I said "No way, Son of Bug Jug isn't THAT lame!" So anyway, don't make ME look stupid TOO.  Who cares?  (sigh)   Oh come on - if I see ONE MORE naked hog-tied midget today I'm going to fuckin' scream.  Before disappearing through a tiny hole in the brush, the little creature gives you a long glance. Take a picture, it'll last longer.   You seem to have kicked on of these strange little spores. Your kick caused some spores to open and spray a fine powder into the air. As a result, you are paralyzed from head to toe, unable to move a single muscle.  Okay, one more time being a little more careful.  Good. You've managed to establish contact with one of these planets life forms, and it looks like you'll get to examine it up close and personal. The giant root-looking thing is giving you a guided tour of its digestive system. What you experience next is too horrible to describe. Let's just say that you die as a result. You are dead. Trust me. It may please you to know that, during the night, you didn't digest well. For a while, gastric distress made it extremely unpopular with the other root monsters. Another sensless tragedy. You can help prevent this. Vote Yes for lobotomies for Adventure Game designers. Thank you for playing Space Quest II, Son of Bug Jug. You've been most entertaining.  Some careful maneuvering to grab some berries, and then back out the same way. Notice the little naked freak grabbing some berries too.  You drop the order form into the box. The mailbox hums and buzzes for a while. Then an object of some sort drops into the tray at the base of the box. The machine goes silent. The whistle is usual looking. Dropping the order form into the mailbox nets us the whistle. In the future, snail mail will be faster than all the the Internet's tubes.  You see a small fleshy being. He appears to be rubbing something on his body. Oh come on... At least hide behind a bush if you're going to do that.  You feel something slimy clamp down on your leg and pull you beneath the surface! You struggle in vain to free youreslf. Unfortunately your desire to breathe results in an intake of a large quantity of swamp water. If the lack of oxygen hadn't killed you, the taste of the putrid water would have.  Maybe the little pervert was on to something? Bow-chicka-wow-wow.    You take the glowin gem It's almost certainly probably not radioactive. Maybe this is like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?  You smoothly step off the edge of the fissure. Gravity has its way with you, and you are sucked to the depths of the fissure at a very high rate of speed. Needless to say, you hit the bottom and your mortal remains are redimensioned to the point where life is no longer an option. Will you never learn?  This tree is dead, and seems to be free of the slick secretions some of the other ones generate. You begin to shimmy your way up the snag. CRACK!!! OOOFF!!! Holy log-jams, Batman! You almost ate the big one!  Nothing left but a nice relaxing stroll through the woods.  ...Aw crap... Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 27, 2006 06:37
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Xythar posted:Also, did you take a screenshot of how in the swamp, if you find the deep part and type "dive" your character dives without taking a breath and drowns immediately?  You can't go on. You don't have enough oxygen in your lungs. You panic. The need for oxygen causes you to become irrational. Your desire for air causes you to inhale large amounts of water, causing suffocation. Fillerbunny posted:I seem to remember that if you try to climb the big tree in the foreground here, you'd be eaten alive by some ants or something...?  This is as uncool as uncool can be. You've adhered yourself to this tree like a fly to flypaper. And speaking of insects, here comes a swarm now. You'll be proud to know that you have filled today's nutritional requirments for many of the local carniverous insects. Adventuring is not always pretty. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Aug 27, 2006 |
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Jul 27, 2006 22:10
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CaptainCaveman posted:Do animated gifs run too fast on my system, or do I just read slow? I'm having to cycle through the gifs a couple times before I can read all the text. How much of the text can you usually get through in one cycle? Are we talking like half, or closer to 90%? I've been trying to make the gifs fast enough to prevent most people (?) from having to "wait" for the next frame, but with few enough different frames so that watching the thing twice if you missed something wouldn't be a big deal. But if most people think they're going by too fast, I can try to slow them down. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Jul 27, 2006 |
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Jul 27, 2006 23:05
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Big Thanks to Kevyn for pointing out how to pause animated gifs.  Once again, time passes... And the some more time passes... While unconscious, you have the stranges of dreams...   ... Such as...? :fappery:   Well this is obvious, I'll just toss the spore.  Upon impact with the ground, the spore opens and spews its dust into the air. The hunter falls to the ground paralyzed. You have caused the guard to be paralyzed. I don't think he's too please with you. The hunter has decided that it's a perfect day for a barbecue. As he slowly turn you over the fire, you begin to turn a golden brown. Death follows at an agonizingly long distance. Maybe if we call him over first.   throw spore Upon impact with the ground, the spore opens and spews its dust into the air. The hunter falls to the ground paralyzed.  You reach through the bars and take posession of the key. You slip the key into the lock and give it a turn. The lock snaps open. You open the cage door. You grab the rope. Grab the key to open the cage, and take the rope on our way out.  You head over the edge and down the rope. Looks like that stump wasn't a good thing to tie on to. drat you Sierra   That's just the rope, I swear.  He who hesitates is lost. You gave that guy one chance too many and he seized the opportunity, not to mention you. You are consumed in two quick bites.   If only I had lamp, or some kind of... glowing... gem...   The ground below your feet disappears! You tumble through the darkness. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:47 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 28, 2006 06:23
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 That was a rather spectacular entrance. All systems seem to be intact, though.  The fall made us drop the glowing gem. Grab it again.  The dwellers mumble something. The translator responds with "Follow us, beanpole!". They hurry away.    If you've never played SQ2, pay special attention to this screen. Don't move on until you think you know how to get out of the canyon.   >say the word Did you figure it out? ... Liar.  hold gem in mouth Ah. Better. Not a great deal better, but better. Surely there's nothing dangerous in these caves.  Oh my. Now you know why they wanted to close the hole behind you. You have become the unwilling victim of the dreaded cave squid! Tough luck.   Might as well try the left tunnel first.  SPLAT AFter caroming off of a pair of rock out-croppings, you find a final resting place at the base of the falls. Alright, then. Let's go back and try the right tunnel.  As you enter another of the mysterious subterranian chambers you realize that the water is now racing towards a giant whirlpool in the middle of the area. You are caught in the strong current, powerless to alter your course. Your body is sucked down until, finally, you are able to resist no more and must yield to the overwhelming force. They're both deadly!?  Geez! That was quite a trip. Peering around, you find yourself out in the open again. ... Wait, what?  Oh good, a dead end.  You give the whistle a toot. It makes an odd sound. You hear an incredible whirring and grinding sound coming from the north. Suddenly, a labian terror beast buzzes into the room like a tornado! And he looks like he could do as much damage as one! He looks friendly, right?  Well, ain't that a hoot. That guy reduced you to a mult-colored mound of cole-slaw like matter. Better than a Murphco Slice-O-Matic. You are dead, however. Maybe he's a huge nerd?  You chuck the Cubix Rube puzzle over to the beast. The beast appears interested in your offering. Curiosity gets the better of him as he reaches down for it. He seems quite perplexed by the puzzling plastic polyhedron.   You cleverly use the athletic supporter to sling the rock at the guard. It makes serious contact with the side of his head. (We like the way you think.) He drops like a lead parakeet. The ripe thud of the impact is momentarily sickening. He is perfectly still.  You slide the keycard into the slot, then remove it. As soon as the elevator door behind you closes, the platform you rest on begins to rise.  >enter ship You open the hatch and head on in.  >push power >turn dial The attitude dial is now set to VAC. >push thruster button The shuttle begins to vibrate as the ascent thrusters ignite.   Finally, some alone time. In SPACE!      Not even the playboy channel   ... Maybe he wants to be friends? Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 08:57 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 28, 2006 08:49
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Xythar posted:Of course, this is to say nothing about how if you never got the cubix rube or athletic supporter at the start, or forgot to mail the form, you'd never even know you screwed up until this point. That was what I hated about Sierra adventure games. If you didn't get the cubix rube, you can just leave the screen and come back again - the terror beast will have left. If you didn't get the athletic supporter, it's very possible to sneak up to the door while the guard has his back turned. Except in both cases, you won't get any points. However I do agree with you - Sierra'a general attitude back then of "So sorry, you hosed up two hours ago - hope you saved!!!!" is pretty lovely.
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Jul 28, 2006 09:10
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Mental Midget posted:Oh...my...god.... 
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Jul 28, 2006 21:26
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   ... Surprise birthday party?    Notice that both doors lead into the same bathroom.  Grab some toilet paper, and we're outta here like Richard Gere.  Ah ha! You know a janitorial closet when you smell one. Almost at once you feel an emptiness, a melancholy longing. You begin to feel homesick.  From the 3 different Janitor's closets we come across, we grab a Plunger, a Glass Cutter, a Waste-basket, and a Lighter.  Youch! You feel alarmingly dense! Apparently, you were a prime focal point for some aggression channeling by one of the caged creatures. Your compressed composition indicates that your attacker possesses considerable strength, a good guy to avoid in the future.  A barrier springs up before you! Another barrier stands in your way! You feel the floor shift below you, it's moving to the left! Imagine, if you will, taking a bath in sulphuric acid and using pumice for a washcloth. After that bit of displeasure passes, it gets much worse as the acid slowly eats its way to the last critical organs. Finally, mercifully, death takes you. I'm starting to think Vohaul might not like me.  Using formerly uncharacteristic creativity, you apply the suction-cup like plunger to the smooth metal finish and hang on for dear life! Once a janitor, always a janitor! You release your grip and drop back down.  You have made the mistake of getting within what looks like a cattle-prod's length of the metal menace. An electrical contact connected to an extension arm reaches from its body and makes contact with you. That when you begin to feel the intense burst of electrical current pulsing through your body. You quickly black-out. As you can see, you amount to little more than a hill of laser-fried beans. You've come a long way only to be torched. Keep up the good work.  Starting a fire in the Waste-basket using the toilet paper and lighter, we set off the sprinklers.  Heh heh heh... With dry cool wit like that I should be a Super-Hero.  ... Dad?     Why's your face pink all of a sudden?  Vohaul : Going somewhere? HA HA HA! As soon as you step on the platform, you are struck by a beam of light emitted from a unit in the ceiling. In a matter of seconds you are broken down into micro-particles and extracted from the air. Again the beam strikes, this time blasting into a glass jar on the console. It is there that you are molecularly reconstructed in miniaturized form.    ... (sigh)... Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 09:00 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 29, 2006 08:43
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TheRedEye posted:Awesome thread, but I don't understand why your screenshots have JPG artifacts. Are you using an AGI interpreter that makes the screen blurry or something? I'm using DosBox to record the gameplay to avi, take the screenshtos from that, and then use Photoshop to enlarge them. Sock posted:Does it say "Don't interrupt them, they're on a mission from God" if you go up to them or look at them or am I making that up? In the EGA version, it just tells you that they're busy and not paying attention to you.
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Jul 29, 2006 08:46
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Dudley posted:The alien homage during that last segment is a lot of fun.  Oh no! One of the cells is opening! Who knows what unspeakable horror waits behind those steel bars? OH, YUCK!!! The dark and spiny beast with massive red lips grabs you up and, after a long glance, proceeds (Don't read further if the phrase "French kiss" bothers you) to plant a very moist french kiss on you. You are quite stunned. If you accidentally let this alien kiss you...  ... You'll die like two hours later, and want to murder the people who wrote the game. You are suddenly wracked with excrutiatingly violent pain! It feels as if your body is trying to turn inside-out. After gaining freedom from its flesh fortress, the odd little alien runs away leaving you lying on the floor like a used, over-sized placenta. A darn tough, yet unique, way to go. That should teach you not to be sucking face with alien beings in the future. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 02:29 on Aug 27, 2006 |
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Jul 29, 2006 09:44
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abraxas posted:Edit: I don't mind the various means of death your character has to suffer through, just to clarify. I guess you just have to save a whole drat bunch. But as said above, I don't want to be forced to replay the whole game just because of an item or two I missed somewhere along the way (especially since some of that poo poo is impossible to figure out unless you've done it multiple times or know exactly what to do) It takes under an hour to get through either SQ1 or SQ2 start to finish, and that's being very generous. Assuming you can figure out what you missed, replaying from the beginning isn't THAT big of a deal. And other than all the training you need to do in the QFG series, I don't they're much shorter than most of the others. Keep in mind that there are surprisingly few things you can forget that are "show stoppers". Like in SQ2 - if you didn't get the puzzle and jock strap from your locker you can still finish the game, you just won't get all possible points. EDIT : That actually gives me an idea. It might be neat to have a series of very light-weight guides for the games that don't actually tell you how to do things or spoil anything, but just keep you from loving yourself six ways from sunday. Something like... SQ1 : BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE SHIP : 1) Did you talk to the dying scientist? 2) Did you get the "astral body" cartridge? ... But ONLY include stuff that's impossible to "fix" once you pass a certain point in the game, and only then if it's something that's absolutely necessary to complete the game. ToasterThief posted:Ah, but if you are fast enough you can get to the chamber before it bursts out. So there's a way around that death. Heh, yeah. When I was replaying to get the shot of that death I had just assumed that the alien would pop-up at some pre-determined point. Was very confused when I went on to finish the game anyways. Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Jul 29, 2006 |
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Jul 29, 2006 23:20
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What a coincidence that I just happened to have a glass cutter! The newly cut pane of glass falls to the counter. Apparently, Vohaul doesn't seem to notice.  >climb in vent You wiggle your slim carcass through the vent. I know a jazz musician named Slim Carcass.  >look around Judging from those two hoses coming in from outside, you guess that this is the inner workings of Vohaul's life support system. A respirator pumps oxygen into his lungs while a pump on the back wall forces blood through the filters.  >read sign The Sign says "CAUTION : Press Button For Emergancy Shut Off." >push button Way to go, Son of Bug Jug! You've just disconnected Sludge Vohaul's life support system! He's a goner without it. He should've had it say "Do not push!"   And they said that Son of Bug Jug couldn't beat up a cripple on life-support. I probably shouldn't try to go smaller, but when am I ever going to have this opportunity again?  By already being in a miniaturized form and setting the beam to reduce, you are now too small to exist. That wasn't too swift on your part. Too bad. Okay fine, I'll rebigulate.   Maybe he meant to write SSRI as reminder to up his dosage?  I'm sure if I just let it go somebody else will take care of it.  FINE... I'll save the world. Strangely enough, typing in "TITS" works just as well.  A section of the glass tubing has fractured from combined stress. The pressurized atmosphere rushes for the relative vacuum of space. Due to the effect of the air rushing by you to get out the hole, the air in your lungs is sucked out and you find it impossible to get more. Hence you struggle, but die. You only had 228 points anyways. No big loss. Boy, that sure... (wait for it)... SUCKED... Heh heh heh.    Will YOU be my friend? Any curiosity you may have harbored regarding the menacing, metallic pest will now be satisifed as you have drawn too close. Your attention is attracted to a decal on the front of the machine. It says "The Vohaul Marrow-Matic". This rouses your curiosity. Suddenly you note that every bone in your body feels as if its been transformed into molten matter. Never slow to catch on, you notice that you are now cooking form the inside out! This is a pain that lingers! Every drop of moisture is purged from your system due to the intense heat of the internal barbecue. Your dehydrated compostion makes it impossible to continue. Better luck next time, Son of Bug Jug.  The robot has apparently decided that it is permissable for you to be here since you are in the escape vehicle already. Warning! Escape vehicle emergency launch has begun!     And that's the end of that chapter. (tosses scarf around neck)     >open chamber You turn back the plexiglass cover. >get in chamber You make the split second decision to enter the sleep chamber. It seals automatically.  A nice long rest, and a blowjob.  No problemo.  The end For now See you all in Space Quest III! Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 09:08 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 30, 2006 07:03
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             Remember Boss Keys?    D'oh! Oh well. Getting fired just leaves more times for games.
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Jul 31, 2006 04:20
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ToasterThief posted:Wait...didn't we just read Sludge Vohaul ASKING someone to destroy the generator in Sq1? Sludge wasn't in SQ1. I think you're thinking of Slash Vohaul, his brother.
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Jul 31, 2006 04:39
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  >stand >jump   The claw senses contact with the warp motivator, grasps it firmly, and begins the ascent back to the grabber.  Sensing an adequate surface, the claw releases its cargo and begins the ascent to the grabber unit. The object thuds into place within the cavity of the ship. I can just stand here for as long as I want, right?  You really bit the beam, Buckwheat. And there's that lack of regard for organics in action again. I guess they never heard of the warning shot concept around here. Anyway, you're dead. Hope you enjoy your new flow-through ventilation system. Okay fine, I'll fall down the garbage chute.      Y'mean like I pooped myself?  Grabbing the same reactor again - the world owes me. I got mugged by a RAT!  You grab the ladder and jam it in your pocket. Ouch!   I heart you, optimus prime.   Story of my life    You feel a strong rumbling as the ship strains to loosen itself from the confines of the junk heap accumulated at its base. Finally, it begins to rise.   Ascent halted due to obstruction.   
Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 09:15 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Jul 31, 2006 09:55
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Migishu posted:According to GameFAQs, Searching the cockpit chair weilds 10 points You bet. Ytadel posted:The death that scarred me as a kid was trying to pick up the sheet metal on the same screen where you get the ladder. Hilarious and horrifying.  >get sheet metal YEWO!   synertia posted:Falling into the garbage grinder was always my favorite. USDA approved Wilco  Not a pretty sight.  
Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Aug 1, 2006 00:02
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Sock posted:Where's the falling to your death scene   
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Aug 1, 2006 00:25
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Meat Popsicle posted:SQ 3 is definitely the best. Don't forget you can die by sliding off the aluminum mallard!   
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Aug 1, 2006 02:25
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Cyberventurer posted:If it's not too late, I'd like to see the decompression in space death that was mentioned earlier.    
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Aug 1, 2006 20:32
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      I fly better when I'm high.     BURP! Thanks for playing Space Quest III. As usual, you've been a real hoot. How was I supposed to know that giant snakes are dangerous?!  Thanks for playing Space Quest III. As usual, you've been a real hoot.  Fester : Ya'll come back now, y'hear! Fester : Alien Scum.   They may be cute, but only an idiot would get near one! Looks like you won't be around to apreciate the other diverse wonders of this garden-spot of the universe.   Selling the gem from SQ2 for some buckazoids, rejecting his first two offers.  That things got a thousand uses - I'll take it!  Wait until the ladies see me in that - I'll take it!  Finally, something to tame my fiery loins - I'll take it!   Oh geez... Same Great Paste fucked around with this message at 09:21 on Sep 14, 2006 |
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Aug 1, 2006 21:33
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SpaceChief posted:Funny, somehow I remember that you're wanted for forgetting to pay for the labion terror beast mating whistle. You're right - the Terminator robot will be explaining my heinous crime shortly. And before somebody calls me on it, I didn't forget about the postcards. But there's so many of them I wanted to do them in a seperate update to keep from crapping up the storyline.
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Aug 1, 2006 22:32
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