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Thomas Pynchon steampunk rape with a Dr. Suess vocabulary.
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Jan 6, 2007 06:58
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 15:52 |
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Pages 1 and 2 - New Ending for November of the Heart (Dr. Seuss Steampunk Rape Version) Super huge thanks go out to Ostia Pyrosis for doing the illustrations. Anyone can make words rhyme, but it takes an immensely talented and demented person to bring rape into the Dr. Seuss universe.   So, follow along. You may just see someone's pants explode.
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Jan 10, 2007 18:28
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Oh my God, YES.
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Jan 10, 2007 18:29
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This is the best thing Ive ever seen on this here forums, I reckon.
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Jan 10, 2007 18:33
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This is incredible, but page 1 isn't selling me on Jen's eyes I'm sad to say.
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Jan 10, 2007 18:55
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This is better than I ever imagined. Edited for "is." 
Kimmalah fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Jan 10, 2007 |
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Jan 10, 2007 19:00
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Fantastic. Petition for you to underline all descriptions of bosoms in the text before returning it to the bookshelf, making no other mark on the book.
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Jan 10, 2007 19:13
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summerteeth posted:Fantastic. I have other plans.
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Jan 10, 2007 19:16
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Holy loving poo poo, this is perfect.
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Jan 10, 2007 19:31
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Oh man, awesome.
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Jan 10, 2007 19:43
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It's everything I hoped it would be.  Wonderful illustration Ostia Pyrosis!
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Jan 10, 2007 19:44
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amazing! thank you guys so much for bringing us this I get the feeling Jens is the one who's gonna be raped, and Gideon will be the one doing the rapage, methinks
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Jan 10, 2007 19:57
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Hahaha, the illustrations make it fantastic. I thought you'd given up! It's probably too late to suggest rhymes for "pubis", although I thought of "Anubis".
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Jan 10, 2007 20:01
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Thanks for bumping this, due to the holiday rush I missed this legendary thread. Subscribed and anxiously awaiting part 2
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Jan 10, 2007 20:16
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Eagerly awaiting hot pubis groping.
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Jan 10, 2007 20:26
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Hahahahaha the  Sun is perfect
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Jan 10, 2007 20:26
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This is incredible. I'm sure it'll be goldmined when completed. That's some brilliant artwork there.
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Jan 10, 2007 20:27
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We need a SA book club, or something. This is too perfect.Old Dun Cow posted:I love having the sun as smith.
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Jan 10, 2007 20:33
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Haha, I like to think that "I'll show you what's gotten into me!" is a phrase Gideon uses often in his every day life. Here's another vote for Let's Read being an ongoing thing. I love it.
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Jan 10, 2007 20:43
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DrGarbagetree posted:We need a SA book club, or something. This is too perfect. May I interest you in this, or maybe this? Slightly different idea in the latter.
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Jan 10, 2007 20:46
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eagerly awaiting the line, "he used some tape, to be able to rape"
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Jan 10, 2007 21:00
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comets! posted:Here's another vote for Let's Read being an ongoing thing. I love it. Yes, please. Horrible romance novels ahoy! And Old Dun Cow, we could take turns if all those pubises and blue eyes are getting to you.
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Jan 10, 2007 21:16
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wow, its been a long time since ive read an E/N thread all the way through. this is briliant!
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Jan 10, 2007 21:22
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Old Dun Cow posted:Book passage So if I marry my girlfriend, I'll be entitled to sex?! Why didn't anyone tell me this!
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Jan 10, 2007 21:26
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 I am so going to hell.
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Jan 10, 2007 21:27
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Ocean Madness posted:Yes, please. Horrible romance novels ahoy! And Old Dun Cow, we could take turns if all those pubises and blue eyes are getting to you. Actually, I've begun reading Against the Day to regain some of my lost sanity (Ha! I wonder how many people have ever said that about a Thomas Pynchon novel). Anyway, I started getting some really crazy Amazon suggestions from searching around for all the books on the shelf. Did you know that there's a sub-genre of romance novels specifically focusing on vampire love? I got a taste for blood after the hideous sex scene, so I'll probably pick up one of those. You've got to wonder if the author will address the awkwardness of trying to fellate someone without scraping when you have fangs.   Ostia Pyrosis posted:
See you there! We can have grilled cheese sandwiches. Old Dun Cow fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jan 10, 2007 |
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Jan 10, 2007 21:31
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Old Dun Cow posted:Did you know that there's a sub-genre of romance novels specifically focusing on vampire love? I got a taste for blood after the hideous sex scene, so I'll probably pick up one of those. You've got to wonder if the author will address the awkwardness of trying to fellate someone without scraping when you have fangs. If it is Laurell K. Hamilton, I will die from laughter. She may write the worst sex scenes ever. (Which is a pity, as the first few books of that series were pretty promising.)
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Jan 10, 2007 21:41
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Between this and the homeopathy thread, I am just overwhelmed with SA love. Fabulous.
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Jan 10, 2007 21:45
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Why, why, why the gently caress have I passed this thread up before now?? This is a thing of beauty, a rare gem! (Back in my young and innocent days before the internet and while I was still a Good Mormon Girl, I used to do a lot of babysitting for women who read a lot of these books. The 'juicy parts' were one of my first introductions to the 'temptations of the flesh', and I'd always feel guilty after reading them. But I always read them. Funny how the books always fell open to those scenes too... Looking back the ones with cowboys and spunky frontier women in them were the most hilarious.)
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Jan 10, 2007 21:58
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Night Gaunt posted:It's everything I hoped it would be. Thankyou  I hope to have the next two pages done by Saturday (work permitting). Old Dun Cow is a genius, you're in for a treat.
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Jan 11, 2007 01:57
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This is really creative and funny, and the illustrations are simply perfect!
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Jan 11, 2007 12:33
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This ending is turning out better than I ever could have imagined. Old Dun Cow, thank you for sharing this. Please please please keep this sort of thing up with more books. I know you've said you plan to, but for the love of comedy DO. Also, did anybody else find themselves reading the text out loud?
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Jan 11, 2007 22:18
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Ok... this thread delivers... I avoided reading it for 3 weeks because of the title and, holy poo poo I'm glad curiousity won out. The new ending is so  .On another note, speaking of sex scenes, here is one the the short list finalists for the 'bad sex in fiction' awards: Black Swan Green by David Mitchell (Sceptre): If Dawn Madden's breasts were a pair of Danishes, Debby Crombie's got two Space Hoppers. Each armed with a gribbly nipple. Tom Yew kissed them in turn and his saliva glistened in the April sun. I know watching was wrong but I couldn't not. Tom Yew slipped off her red panties and stroked the cressy hair there. 'If you want me to stop, Madam Crombie, you have to say now.' 'Oooh, Master Yew,' she croodled, 'don't you dare.' Tom Yew got on her and sort of jiggled there and she gasped like he was giving her a Chinese burn and wrapped her legs round him, froggily. Now he moved up and down, Man-from-Atlantisly. His silver chain jiggled on his neck. Now her grubby soles met like they were praying. Now his skin was glazed in roast pork sweat. Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll. Now Tom Yew's body jerkjerked judderily jackknifed and a noise like a ripping cable tore out of him. Once more, like he'd been booted in the balls. Her fingernails'd sunk salmony welts into his arse. Debby Crombie's mouth made a perfect O. :Edit with last years winner: 2005 Winkler by Giles Coren (Jonathan Cape) And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro. crazystray fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Jan 11, 2007 |
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Jan 11, 2007 22:56
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crazystray posted:Ok... this thread delivers... I avoided reading it for 3 weeks because of the title and, holy poo poo I'm glad curiousity won out. The new ending is so What? That Black Swan Green one is like Danielle Steel crossed with Lewis Carroll, after they got drunk down the pub & decided it'd be a good idea to collaborate together. edit: I found a [url="https://"http://ds.hnldesign.nl/"]Danielle Stell Title Generator[/url] My favourites so far are: ''Stuck to his filthy Moustache'' ''Enjoying his forgotten Bondage'' ''Just another spastic Wedding'' ''Father's long lost Testicles'' Ann Onymous fucked around with this message at 15:10 on Jan 12, 2007 |
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Jan 12, 2007 15:03
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YES! It's back! I had to physically force myself not to bump this thread anymore begging for updates. You've made my Friday - please continue. (*Note: PUBIS)
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Jan 12, 2007 15:18
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Ostia Pyrosis posted:
YOU ARE AMAZING.
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Jan 12, 2007 15:21
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Ann Onymous posted:Like Zorro Sweet Jumping Jesus that's amazing.
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Feb 8, 2007 00:19
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kow  I was all excited when I saw this in my recently updated subscribed threads list, but it is not an update.
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Feb 8, 2007 00:26
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maybe Old Dun Cow just forgot about it and now that it's on the front page he'll remember it again. like zorro.
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Feb 8, 2007 00:27
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 15:52 |
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i just read this thread due to bumping. you must finish the Dr. Seuss rape. that is all.
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Feb 8, 2007 02:55
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