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Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!

I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.


Fuckin Bees!


A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.


This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had loving BEEES living inside it.

The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.

Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.

So we did the next best thing. Started loving with the bees.


My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.

That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....



Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.


INCOMING!


CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?


RUN FORREST!


Pile O Bees


The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.


At this point it was clear these little assholes weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:


Bee incinerator contraption:
- 30 feet of rope
- 1 large fire pit
- 1 science project board
- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet
- gas


Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and....


IGNITION!


OH THE BEEMANITY


CARNAGE!


Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next?



The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER


OH YES!!!!


12/23 NEVER FORGET


THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!


OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.


Tonight we are having Roast Bee


The Aftermath.


Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0
Number of bees killed: est. 10,000
Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so



When I close my eyes, I see fire...and bees.

------------------------------
edit - Update 1:

jacert posted:

What camera did you use?

Its a Canon Digital Rebel XT and I was using a 28-135IS lens. In daylight it is easy to use a fast shutter speed to freeze the action like that.

We did call around about how to remove bees and the only advice we got was deal with it yourself unless we wanted to pay a huge premium for having them come out on a holiday weekend. Nobody said anything about getting a beekeeper. In hindsight that would be been a good idea, albeit pretty boring.

This was a chance for him and I to relive some of our childhood shenanigans. We grew up on the same street, and fire was a regular part of our lives back then.

The hole is in the rental property behind the swingset. We don't know if they did something to cause the hive to evacuate or if it was part of the hive breaking off to start anew.

There were no bees in sight at dusk. Mission Accomplished! Thanks and glad so many can appreciate what we did today. It was fun despite inhaling all the strange fumes.

Update 2:



A little more detail. Thanks for the comments guys.

Update 3:



I am just learning how to use this camera and post-process in CS2. Jesus. I had no idea I could get this kind of detail.

I feel kinda bad for the little fuckers now. Oh well, they made their fatal mistake when they went into my bro-in-law's back yard. There was no way they could coexist in a neighborhood full of kids. Like I said the beekeeper would have been an option, but not on a holiday weekend.

Flannel Blob fucked around with this message at Dec 24, 2006 around 06:01

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Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!

jacert posted:

What camera did you use?

Its a Canon Digital Rebel XT and I was using a 28-135IS lens. In daylight it is easy to use a fast shutter speed to freeze the action like that.

We did call around about how to remove bees and the only advice we got was deal with it yourself unless we wanted to pay a huge premium for having them come out on a holiday weekend. Nobody said anything about getting a beekeeper. In hindsight that would be been a good idea, albeit pretty boring.

This was a chance for him and I to relive some of our childhood shenanigans. We grew up on the same street, and fire was a regular part of our lives back then.

The hole is in the rental property behind the swingset. We don't know if they did something to cause the hive to evacuate or if it was part of the hive breaking off to start anew.

There were no bees in sight at dusk. Mission Accomplished! Thanks and glad so many can appreciate what we did today. It was fun despite inhaling all the strange fumes.

Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!



A little more detail. Thanks for the comments guys.

Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!



I am just learning how to use this camera and post-process in CS2. Jesus. I had no idea I could get this kind of detail.

I feel kinda bad for the little fuckers now. Oh well, they made their fatal mistake when they went into my bro-in-law's back yard. There was no way they could coexist in a neighborhood full of kids. Like I said the beekeeper would have been an option, but not on a holiday weekend.

Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!

Luigi Thirty posted:

You should have went for the 93 octane premium.

Fuel with a lower octane rating actually burns faster.

Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!

ironlung posted:

Hey look someone blatantly ripped this off and posted it on another forum:


That's me! Thanks for looking out though.

Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!

This website in Russia picked up on it due to banners http://fishki.net/comment.php?id=16207

The small company that provides my private webserver went offline this morning, a couple hours after I posted the pics there. I hope I didn't kill it. Waffleimages is the only host that can handle the pics.

Flannel Blob fucked around with this message at Dec 25, 2006 around 18:37

Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!


I'm pretty sure this is going to require an aerial assault. Let me call up the crazy bro in law. Give me coordinates. We can upgrade the bee incinerators to be air-dropped.

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Flannel Blob
Feb 3, 2004
horah!

Is anyone a member on this genmay? http://www.genmay.com/showthread.php?t=702591

This guy ripped my story. Not that big a deal but still...

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