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DontMockMySmock
Aug 9, 2008

I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

Colon V posted:

Haley puts those ranks in Sleight of Hand to good use?

(:nws:) Sleight of Handjob, you might say?

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prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

jng2058 posted:

Precisely. Like the Big X said, "Be a vampire, or a ghost, or an immortal with a paint-by-numbers portrait in the rec room. Hell, even a brain-in-a-jar, in a pinch. Anything to avoid the Big Fire Below."

I guess explains why so many intelligent undead are evil...they're dodging hellfire!

drat, you. You made me go read a couple of comics, and they turned out to be the Xykon versus Mr. Stiffly ones. Poor Mr. Stiffly. :(

Javid
Oct 21, 2004

:jpmf:
Regarding the 'belkar dies in x days' thing. Is there any reason to be certain that the oracle wasn't making things up to make belkar's life just a little bit shittier? I get that the answers they pay for are accurate, or the oracle wouldn't have a business, but she was just flipping him poo poo when she said that.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Javid posted:

Regarding the 'belkar dies in x days' thing. Is there any reason to be certain that the oracle wasn't making things up to make belkar's life just a little bit shittier? I get that the answers they pay for are accurate, or the oracle wouldn't have a business, but she was just flipping him poo poo when she said that.
The Oracle did eventually give an official reading (though that was so that Roy would remember it).

ImpAtom
May 24, 2007

Javid posted:

Regarding the 'belkar dies in x days' thing. Is there any reason to be certain that the oracle wasn't making things up to make belkar's life just a little bit shittier? I get that the answers they pay for are accurate, or the oracle wouldn't have a business, but she was just flipping him poo poo when she said that.

It seems unlikely. The Oracle really has no reason to lie when telling the truth but obscuring it is way more of a dick move, and the Oracle loves dick moves.

Javid
Oct 21, 2004

:jpmf:
I'm imagining Belkar going out in a blaze of glory to save the world because he thinks he's dead anyway, and then the oracle's like "Hah! He was gonna die of old age surrounded by the greatest harem ever amassed by a halfling, until he did that. SUCKER!" THAT is a dick move.

maltesh
May 20, 2004

Uncle Ben: Still Dead.
Roy's the only partymember who heard the Oracle's prediction of Belkar's death, and he hasn't yet told Belkar.

Edit: A dick move would be setting things up so Roy hesitates just a bit too long before attempting a risky rescue of Belkar because Roy knows he's doomed to die.

maltesh fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Mar 8, 2012

3 Action Economist
May 22, 2002

Educate. Agitate. Liberate.
^^^ Well, nevermind then.

Maybe it's self-fulfilling.

The Oracle knew if Belkar thought he'd die, he'd go out in a blaze of glory, and therefore the prophecy would be true.

Cliff Racer
Mar 24, 2007

by Lowtax
Did Roy remember the Oracle's prediction, though? Everything in the afterlife is a blur to him.

MuLepton
Apr 1, 2011

It's kind of a long story.

Cliff Racer posted:

Did Roy remember the Oracle's prediction, though? Everything in the afterlife is a blur to him.
He seems to remember - he tells Haley about it.

Stabbey_the_Clown
Sep 21, 2002

Are... are you quite sure you really want to say that?
Taco Defender

Cliff Racer posted:

Did Roy remember the Oracle's prediction, though? Everything in the afterlife is a blur to him.

But everything he saw while in ghost-form on the mortal plan was not a blur. Plus, the Oracle banished him back to the afterlife instead of making him go through the memory charm, so he retained the memory of everything he saw at the Oracle's place that time.

Rumda
Nov 4, 2009

Moth Lesbian Comrade

Cliff Racer posted:

Did Roy remember the Oracle's prediction, though? Everything in the afterlife is a blur to him.

Yes everything IN the afterlife is a blur the time spent on the material plane and at the view from above is still clear.

edit
Really should refresh before posting

Kaebora
Jul 12, 2006

Be careful of forgetfulness. Your lucky color is...blue?
Speaking of Belkar (and Don't Split the Party spoilers), how many times has he saved Hinjo's life? I've only counted one so far, and he's supposed to save his life a second time, right?

DaveWoo
Aug 14, 2004

Fun Shoe
FYI, Rich finally gave an official explanation to how Familicide works:

Rich Burlew posted:

Step 1: Kill everyone with the original target's blood. This is a simple yes/no effect: Is a creature (the secondary target) related by blood to the original target at all, in any way? If yes, kill it. If no, move on. Number of generations or percentage of blood or direction doesn't matter.

Step 2: Kill everyone who shares blood with any of the people killed in Step 1. Think of it as killing everyone descended from (or siblings to) any and all still-living ancestors of each secondary target. So if Penelope had a grandfather on one side and a great-grandmother on the other side who were still alive, every person who could trace their blood back to either of those people would be dead, because Penelope's daughter carries both of their bloods. If a person can only trace their blood through (say) Penelope's already-dead great-great-great-grandfather, then they're safe. Thus cousins and second-cousins and the like are all dead, but more distant genetic relations are not. It is possible for some cousins to survive if all older generations were already dead, yes, but Vaarsuvius wasn't really likely to take the time to make that distinction while sobbing on a dungeon hallway floor.

Now for some anticipated FAQs:

That's not exactly what Vaarsvuius said when the spell was cast, though.
First, Vaarsvuius is prone to poetic word choice and had no particular reason to include various exceptions or inclusions while in the middle of punishing the dragon. Second, as the author, I also had an interest in not necessarily giving away the twist that the Draketooths would be killed two years ahead of time (leading me to choose words that maybe implied one thing while allowing for another). In other words, don't try to parse the language too precisely.

Wouldn't that spell kill everyone of the original target's species?
In our world? Maybe. The OOTS world is not ours, though. It was created fully populated, even with black dragons. So there could be 100 original black dragons who (as V noted) breed slowly over the relatively-short span of time the current world has been in existence, leading to one-quarter of them being wiped out. If it had been cast on a human first, it may well have taken half or more of the population with it, depending on how many Original Humans there had been and how much interbreeding had occurred. Good thing that's not what happened, right?

But if it worked like that, it would have [insert obscure effect proven with math]!
Yeah, well, it didn't. Why? I don't know. But it didn't. I guess that makes me a crappy writer because I didn't think of whatever implication you just thought of, but there it is. I'm not a biologist or a mathematician. If it makes you feel better, just assume that all the laws of heredity and genetics work differently because It's Magic™.

ConfusedUs
Feb 24, 2004

Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!





DaveWoo posted:

FYI, Rich finally gave an official explanation to how Familicide works:

TL;DR: A loving wizard did it.

I love Burlew. And I want to punch the people that made him have to write that out rather than working on the next strip!

Alchenar
Apr 9, 2008

ConfusedUs posted:

TL;DR: A loving wizard did it.


In every sense of that phrase.

Bobulus
Jan 28, 2007

That explanation satisfies me.

Also:

quote:

The OOTS world is not ours, though. It was created fully populated, even with black dragons. So there could be 100 original black dragons who (as V noted) breed slowly over the relatively-short span of time the current world has been in existence, leading to one-quarter of them being wiped out.

Bobulus posted:

Silly D&D world solution: Gods created world with people preexisting on it, so there isn't a common ancestor.

:smug:

Bobulus fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Mar 8, 2012

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003



ConfusedUs posted:

A loving wizard did it.
If he had just posted this, I would have been completely satisfied.

Factor_VIII
Feb 2, 2005

Les soldats se trouvent dans la vérité.

DaveWoo posted:

FYI, Rich finally gave an official explanation to how Familicide works:
If he was forced to write all that, then I guess that the shitstorm that strip generated on his forums was orders of magnitude worse than the response in this thread.

Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!

I was under the impression that Burlew didn't read the forums. Or am I confusing him with another author?

Edit: I guess I am totally wrong!

Ashcans fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Mar 8, 2012

Niton
Oct 21, 2010

Your Lord and Savior has finally arrived!

..got any kibble?

Factor_VIII posted:

If he was forced to write all that, then I guess that the shitstorm that strip generated on his forums was orders of magnitude worse than the response in this thread.

Look at the top right corner of that link and you'll know all you need to about how bad it was.

Rumda
Nov 4, 2009

Moth Lesbian Comrade
The thing is that is almost exactly how V described it before s/he cast the spell just minus their usual flowery speech, and a few elaborations.

DaveWoo
Aug 14, 2004

Fun Shoe
New comic:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0844.html

pseudorandom name
May 6, 2007

"Soon an' 'is paladins..."

Well played, Rich. Well played.

Speedball
Apr 15, 2008

But the real reason it's not working is because it was an epic-level Death spell?

SuperKlaus
Oct 20, 2005


Fun Shoe
Bless Burlew for pointing out that a character, being a character and not some sort of exposition robot, might say things in strange, incorrect, or incomplete ways when he explained Familicide. Write that down, everyone, and memorize it, and spread it around the drat Internet.

e: really did you see that OoTS rip comic posted a couple pages back? The comic on display that day was seriously just the mage character giving a precise point by point overview of the Phantom Steed spell. For like fifteen panels or something. No punchline whatsoever. It was like a lecture or a really lazy ad. Do people really expect V to behave like that?

SuperKlaus fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Mar 10, 2012

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

pseudorandom name posted:

"Soon an' 'is paladins..."

Well played, Rich. Well played.

Maybe I'm PBFing this but... I don't get it? :confused:

pseudorandom name
May 6, 2007

I find the extremes of Durkon's accent amusing.

Shugojin
Sep 6, 2007

THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...


SuperKlaus posted:

e: really did you see that OoTS rip comic posted a couple pages back? The comic on display that day was seriously just the mage character giving a precise point by point overview of the Phantom Steed spell. For like fifteen panels or something. No punchline whatsoever. It was like a lecture or a really lazy ad. Do people really expect V to behave like that?

It's not exactly out of character, although Burlew got tired of the verbosity gag pretty quick. It was also pretty explicitly a gag since every character gets bored to tears/sleep by it.

RickoniX
Dec 4, 2005

A human or elf?

NO NOT A BADGER YOU GOON

SuperKlaus posted:

Bless Burlew for pointing out that a character, being a character and not some sort of exposition robot, might say things in strange, incorrect, or incomplete ways when he explained Familicide. Write that down, everyone, and memorize it, and spread it around the drat Internet.

e: really did you see that OoTS rip comic posted a couple pages back? The comic on display that day was seriously just the mage character giving a precise point by point overview of the Phantom Steed spell. For like fifteen panels or something. No punchline whatsoever. It was like a lecture or a really lazy ad. Do people really expect V to behave like that?

Thunt does this every third page and it's hilariously dumb

greatn
Nov 15, 2006

by Lowtax
Doesn't ressurect take like ten minutes to cast? V runs down the stairs freaking out and no one cares enough to check for THAT long?

DontMockMySmock
Aug 9, 2008

I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

greatn posted:

Doesn't ressurect take like ten minutes to cast? V runs down the stairs freaking out and no one cares enough to check for THAT long?

V's a respectable adult; she can do what she wants, and he'll come back when he wants to come back, so there's no point chasing her down. Except, of course, for the fact that he's lying unconscious in a pit, but the rest of the Order doesn't know that.

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?

DontMockMySmock posted:

V's a respectable adult; she can do what she wants, and he'll come back when he wants to come back, so there's no point chasing her down. Except, of course, for the fact that he's lying unconscious in a pit, but the rest of the Order doesn't know that.

Plus, she's an evoker. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone there assumes that if she runs into trouble, they'll soon be alerted to it's presence when poo poo starts exploding.

TunaSpleen
Jan 27, 2007

How do I say, "You're the grossest thing ever" without offending you?
Grimey Drawer
If they're absolutely insistent on raising one of the bodies, Malack's the only other candidate I can think of. Seeing as he worships a god of death and death tends to be viewed as an equalizer, I'd wager he's neutral-something. That would probably sound more enticing to a family of rogues and casters. I wouldn't be surprised if the Order moves on, Malack raises a body and gets all the information he needs, and the two groups collide in 50 strips from now. If the Draketooth family really is scrying on anyone who attempts to resurrect them, they might go for the guy who works with Penelope's widower-and-powerful-ruler-of-a-kingdom rather than the band of tools who already had a hand in the destruction of two gates.

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?

TunaSpleen posted:

If they're absolutely insistent on raising one of the bodies, Malack's the only other candidate I can think of. Seeing as he worships a god of death and death tends to be viewed as an equalizer, I'd wager he's neutral-something. That would probably sound more enticing to a family of rogues and casters. I wouldn't be surprised if the Order moves on, Malack raises a body and gets all the information he needs, and the two groups collide in 50 strips from now. If the Draketooth family really is scrying on anyone who attempts to resurrect them, they might go for the guy who works with Penelope's widower-and-powerful-ruler-of-a-kingdom rather than the band of tools who already had a hand in the destruction of two gates.

If they're as paranoid as we think, they know Tarquin and anyone he has hanging around him are not the kind of people they want anywhere near the gate.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

I'm kinda wondering if there aren't a bunch of Draketooths in the afterlife just now, looking at each other and going, okay, maybe figuring out how the hell this happened is more important that sticking to the old grudge. 24 dead and only 9 alignments, some of them have to have ended up together.

NihilCredo
Jun 6, 2011

iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

Out of curiosity - if your Resurrection spell fails, do you just lose the spell slot or also the 10k of diamonds?

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA

NihilCredo posted:

Out of curiosity - if your Resurrection spell fails, do you just lose the spell slot or also the 10k of diamonds?

Well it didn't fail, the spell worked perfectly, only he's declining to come back.

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

We have the tools, we have the talent!





NihilCredo posted:

Out of curiosity - if your Resurrection spell fails, do you just lose the spell slot or also the 10k of diamonds?

I've seen it go either way in-game, but it was shown when they tried and failed to raise Lord Shojo that in the OotS universe, you do lose the diamonds.

TunaSpleen posted:

If they're absolutely insistent on raising one of the bodies, Malack's the only other candidate I can think of. Seeing as he worships a god of death and death tends to be viewed as an equalizer, I'd wager he's neutral-something. That would probably sound more enticing to a family of rogues and casters. I wouldn't be surprised if the Order moves on, Malack raises a body and gets all the information he needs, and the two groups collide in 50 strips from now. If the Draketooth family really is scrying on anyone who attempts to resurrect them, they might go for the guy who works with Penelope's widower-and-powerful-ruler-of-a-kingdom rather than the band of tools who already had a hand in the destruction of two gates.

The problem with Malack would seem to be that he's a Cleric of the God of Death. I'm going to go ahead and guess that death is permanent for Clerics of Nergal. Otherwise, why would he make so much of a fuss about Malack's kids being dead? He could have raised them long since. Likewise, why hadn't they raised Penelope, if only to find out who killed her?

No, I'm betting that Malack is barred from using any spell that would take people out of Nergal's Realm.

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girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

jng2058 posted:

No, I'm betting that Malack is barred from using any spell that would take people out of Nergal's Realm.
Which means they have the same options the Order does. Speak with Dead, and any other divination they can manage.

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