:awesome: - The new craze taking Something Awful by storm! But is it safe?

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Kiss My Butt America: Dec 7, 2005; by Ozma

NEW EMOTICON HITS SOMETHING AWFUL - BUT HOW POPULAR IS TOO POPULAR?
^{by Kiss My Butt America · Something Awful Member · 1/30/2007}

By now, all of Something Awful has seen the new emoticon spreading like wildfire across the forums. If you have not had the chance to see it, you are in the extreme minority. This new emoticon, known as :awesome:

(or colon awesome colon), originated in the depths of BYOB. Not much is known about the exact origin or time that it came to be, but it it is with us now, and that is all that matters. After the original emoticon appeared in the wild, it was not long before variations started sprouting up. Variations from god knows what mutations, and who knows why they've come to Something Awful to injure us with their presence.

^{One of the variations on :awesome: seen less often than :awesome: itself.}

As of now, the emoticon has widespread usage across nearly every subforum, however it is most obviously prevalent in some more than others. :Awesome: is such a universally recognized symbol that it has even began to be used in such offbeat places as the Euro GoonCon Discussion, albeit not much. It's a simple fact, if something is easily recognizable and easy to relate to, it will be popular and used to what seems like an excess.

^{As seen in this informative graph, :awesome: is not limited to any one kind of person.}

However, this widespread usage by anyone and everyone on Something Awful seems a little unusual. While it's true that emoticons like :v:

and

had their heyday as well, they never seemed to be quite this popular. Go into any one thread in GBS or BYOB, and see if you can go one page without hitting :awesome: more than twice. I doubt you'll be able to do it very easily. Even in this thread, I've already violated that, but I've done it for purely informational purposes. Not only is :awesome: already insanely popular, but it's popularity is multiplying by the second, and at an unprecedented rate.

^{At this rate, 50,000+ users will be familiar with :awesome: by June of 2007.}

However, this poses a problem. One might think, how popular is too popular? And even then, can't it be dealt with? Imagine a Something Awful where every 1.5th post contains at least one use of

. For supporters of the emoticon, right now you might be feeling a little giddy. However, this is a concern for the userbase who dislikes the emoticon, and even a concern for those lacking an opinion. Sure, it may be a fun thing now, but when it is overloaded into your mind and your eyes, it gets tiring after a while. I believe this may lead to a great loss of users, and Something Awful may soon become a haven for posts consisting only of :awesome: and it's variations, and perhaps it will even evolve into an understandable language of images and emotions. However, already this massive misuse of emotions has led to problems for people.

Already, some people have grown a mental and, in some cases, even physical addiction. That's right, this seemingly harmless emoticon has begun to ruin people's lives. Addicted behaviors include unstoppable use of :awesome:

whether it's appropriate or not, foaming at the mouth, and intense fear of Columbia. An addicted user is fairly easily identifiable: some quick checking of their post history and some quick investigative research should tell all. If you know someone who is an :awesome: addict, please consult them to the nearest rehab clinic and hope for the best. This dangerous addiction can possibly lead to some serious mental issues in the long run, and must be stopped immediately. As an example, I have interviewed an addict, who has asked to remain anonymous.

^{An artist's rendition of an :awesome: addict.}

quote:

Hi there, Anonymous, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to give this interview.
I feel comfortable but my scrotum is itching.

Interesting. So, tell me, how exactly were you introduced to :awesome:?
:awesome: ...slept with my wife. And my brother's wife. :Awesome ruined my life.

So then why did you start using it? Surely you couldn't have had any good feelings for :awesome: after it's adultery.
I used :awesome: ...ironically. At first, at least... but then it grew on me.

Was there any sudden turning point where you realized you had become addicted and said to yourself “I need to stop this.”?
...Yes.

...Care to explain?
...no.

So how exactly was it that you began to quit :awesome:? There are many well known methods, such as the 24 hour patch, but what did you try?
I tried suicide first. Then extensive therapy.

How were the conditions of the therapeutic clinic?
Weak, but the coffee was pretty good.

Intriguing. So, what's your stance on Columbia?
(Nervously) I... like Columbia.

Congratulations on overcoming your addiction, Anonymous, and thank you for your time. That should be it.

There you have it folks. True certifiable insanity. This addiction is spreading like wildfire, and it is readily apparent. Some people want you to believe that this :awesome: is a good thing, and that it's just here to help and improve the forums. Those people are wrong. It is bringing down our good society here at Something Awful, and it needs to be stopped immediately. Let us join together and do our best to curb the use of :awesome: before it gets out of hand, because it may already be too late.

I need some goddamn coffee.

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:49

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# ? Sep 30, 2023 10:30

BlackMK4: Aug 23, 2006; wat.; Megamarm

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:50

Always Shirtless: Oct 14, 2006; by Fistgrrl

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:50

Eris Is Goddess: Nov 18, 2000

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:51

Word: Jan 25, 2003

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:51

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

Malarkyout: Jun 3, 2004; by Ozma

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

MisterFister: Jul 6, 2003; Sticking it to THE MAN, assuming THE MAN is an innocent casual dining restaurant.

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

Gun Metal Cray: Apr 27, 2005; Pillbug

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

McHuman Deluxe: Dec 11, 2004; just the tip...just to see how it feels

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

Blunted: Dec 27, 2004; What's so hard to believe about aliens travelling large distances to probe me in my tender young thug ass?

<---------I don't like this guy, looks weird

Blunted fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Jan 31, 2007

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

eBay Embryos: Dec 12, 2004; Communist Party

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:52

Always Shirtless: Oct 14, 2006; by Fistgrrl

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:53

BreakerBreaker: Oct 8, 2005; I hope life isn't just a big joke, because I don't get it.

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:53

ssh: Dec 9, 2001; by elpintogrande

ssh fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Jan 31, 2007

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:53

Schwartz: Oct 21, 2003

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:53

alucinor: May 21, 2003; Taco Defender

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:53

instant breakfast: Mar 2, 2004; Fight the power!
moustache!

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:53

pipes!: Jul 10, 2001; Nap Ghost

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Stein Rockon: Feb 5, 2005; SATAN SANTA TRADE YOUR SOUL FOR MY ORANGES

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Always Shirtless: Oct 14, 2006; by Fistgrrl

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Waffle!: Aug 6, 2004; I Feel Pretty!

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Manos del Sino: Apr 12, 2004; Original Pony; Soiled Meat

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Bolek: May 1, 2003

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Flowers For Algeria: Dec 3, 2005; I humbly offer my services as forum inquisitor. There is absolutely no way I would abuse this power in any way.

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

SpazmasterX: Jul 13, 2006; Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

murkdotdoc: Oct 26, 2005

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Haschel Cedricson: Jan 4, 2006; Brinkmanship

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

reflir: Oct 29, 2004; So don't. Stay here with me.

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:54

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

RaptorFag: Mar 27, 2006; by Fistgrrl

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

RandolphCarter: Jul 30, 2005

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

DoctorScurvy: Nov 11, 2005; More of a passing curiosity, really

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

muskawo: Dec 15, 2004; ROLL FOR PANTS REMOVAL

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

BloodWulfe: Mar 18, 2003

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:55

duckmaster: Sep 13, 2004; Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:56

Rushmore: Jun 3, 2005; My name's Rushmore, and I'm the Biggest Idiot Ever!

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:56

keveh: Sep 14, 2004; If you have a problem.....

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Sep 30, 2023 10:30

OctoberMooN: Jun 1, 2001; Well, at least I had $10

# ? Jan 30, 2007 23:56

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > :awesome: - The new craze taking Something Awful by storm! But is it safe?

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