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Apr 27, 2024 04:55
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- Powerful Two-Hander
- Mar 10, 2004
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Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.
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quote:State of the Goonion: The Final Solution
25th July 2006
Remedial’s Speech
If you’ve just joined us it’s okay to record this, because I don’t give a poo poo if D2 hears this or not.
In fact, I’d rather they hear it so they know we’re loving coming for them.
I posted a thread probably a week or so ago, it was called “Concentrated Hate”, in it I had a bunch of
quotes from D2, BoB, Mercenary Coalition, all these people who had an opinion on Goonfleet. I want to
read three of those quotes real quick before we begin:
Even considering Goons to be a powerhouse is just ridiculous. All they’ve shown so far is how to fill
everyone’s kill boards with their ships.
Here’s another:
Goonies will collapse as soon as they get bogged down against a small, well-skilled and able corporate
alliance. Once they’re bogged down in war they will collapse in on themselves and simply fall apart.
Here’s the last one:
It takes ten vagabonds to wipe out anything they could ever put together.
All of those quotes came from a thread called “Goons: The New Rise of Power” with a question mark. It was
posted June sixteenth, 2006. Right now it’s five weeks later and we’ve turned the world’s opinion of
Goonswarm on its head. No longer do people underestimate our resolve and our ability and compete head-to-head
with the most powerful alliances in the game. They will eventually forget that just weeks ago they dismissed
us as hopeless and useless, another loving collection of newbies who couldn’t stand up against a strong
alliance even in their own space. But the important thing is we will not forget.
Part of the reason we picked D2 as targets in this war was because they lived conveniently next door,
they had nice land they weren’t using, they didn’t have a lot of defences on it, and when we went exploring
we could shoot their station. But the largest reason, and the reason and the reason that drives me is
because deep down I delight in causing misery to D2 because they are the prototypical internet bullies
and I think you all know that too.
Those quotes I read earlier, all of those were from people who were or are in D2. They’ve baited us,
they’ve jeered at us, they’ve laughed at us, and taunted us in front of the entire EVE community on the
forums. In game they’ve sent gank squads to Syndicate to live with our newbies and kill them when they felt
like a few cheap loving laughs. They mocked us in local all throughout the Syndicate defence campaign.
And then we moved to XZH and showed them we could fight by killing hundreds of battleships, by slaughtering
a dozen capital ships, by enduring their assaults with bitter grins on our faces they stopped mocking. But
they didn’t stop to shake our hand and congratulate us; they stopped because they started petitioning
everything they could.
At least four innocent Goons have been banned for up to eight days since the beginning of this conflict for
the Jerushies of D2 spamming petitions at us whenever they loose ships. Lag, bookmarks, saying “fofofo” in
local, anything they could possibly petition they do and they did.
The reason they do this is because they’re bullies. When a bully can no longer kick sand in your face, when
a bully picks on the wrong kid for once and gets his teeth punched in he cries to the teacher. Bullies can’t
take something standing up to their authority and calling their bluff. And D2 are bluffing, and we’re calling
it every single day we’re here. We are a testament to their inability to deal with Goonswarm and everybody
can see it.
I ask every Goon to be there this weekend when we finish D2 in Cloud Ring. We need to put in the hours, to
wake up early, to go to bed late, to do whatever it takes to keep that camp up and our dreads safe while we
work over their POSs one-by-one until there is nothing left to kill.
This is our time now; it is the age of Goonswarm. They cannot beat us, because deep down we know they are a
hundred per cent full of poo poo. They want us to believe they can throw BS after BS at us. They want us to
believe the have infinite capital ships, and they’ve posted that, you know, they can just create thirty capital
ships at will and it doesn’t matter how many we kill. They want us to believe they can spam POSs at us forever.
They want us to believe their kill boards are accurate and they don’t lie and if they kill enough frigates it
doesn’t matter how many T2 battleships they loose. But deep down we know it’s not true.
They’re falling apart on the inside. They cannot afford to loose capital ships because every week they send less
at us. They cannot afford to keep spamming towers because until yesterday they hadn’t put up another tower in XZH
for two weeks. And we know that they’re vulnerable and that they can’t just keep this up because they die just as
fast as Cruel Intentions, Black Range Syndicate, Galactic Aurora, and Supremacy used to, and every other two-bit
human being bunch of whiners that thought we were chumps and pushovers and that they could walk all over us. They can’t
do that anymore because we’re stronger than they are. We don’t’ have to pussyfoot around on the forums anymore
because we have the numbers, we have the dedication, and we have the willpower to overcome them. And BoB, and
everyone else who wants a piece of the Goon pie.
I say let them come for us, because this weekend we’re going to slaughter every single one of their towers and
wipe this region clean of the taint of D2, and give everyone in the world something to think about when they think
about Goonswarm. They’re not going to consider us newbies after this; they’re going to consider us loving monsters,
and monsters eat bullies.
I want to see every single one of you guys to be there, I want to see every single last Goon on that gate camp from
Thursday to Sunday. We can make this happen. I bet that everybody in EVE thinks that we’re just a bunch of pushovers,
that we’re not going to be able to make it, that if it comes down to a fight that D2, if they pull out all their capitals,
all their carriers, their mothership and their dreads, that, you know, we couldn’t be able to stand up against this.
This is our chance to prove them wrong.
If we win this, and we can, I really believe this will break D2’s spine. They won’t be able to say to their members,
“Just hold on another week because they’re about to collapse from the inside.” We know that they will be the ones to
collapse from the inside.
I say it is the age of Goonswarm tonight and our destiny is looming in front of us.
I ask that everybody be there. We will have hundreds of allies there, we have spent more money on mercenaries than most
of you will ever have in your entire carriers in EVE. We have: our very great allies 3FA, we have TFC, we have ERA coming
up, ASCN will be sending battleships, we have Alektorophobia, we have SMASH, we have about four other mercenary corporations
that I can’t even remember the names of.
We are going to put fifty medium bubbles up on that 9-4 gate in XZH and camp it for a hundred hours straight, basically.
It will take about that long to siege every one of their POSs they have in Cloud Ring, but when we are done they will all
be dead and gone and we will have sovereignty over every single system here, and this place will be our new home.
We will keep Syndicate, of course, Syndicate will always be ours. But XZH will be ours as well, and I invite you all to be
a part of this.
I am angry because I consider D2 to be like the worst sort of gamer. One who play Counter Strike and they lose complain
about the other guy hacking. When they play loving WarCraft III or StarCraft they’re the guys who quit as soon as they
see a rush. If they can’t win on their terms they don’t want to play this game. So I say gently caress it, make it so they don’t
play this game. If we have to ruin their experience for them, to get them to quit, to get them to break down and cry and
admit they’re not good enough by loving camping them into a corner for a hundred hours straight, I say we do it.
We descend to the level of monster here, let them loving come for us because we will kill them.
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May 31, 2007 23:22
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- Powerful Two-Hander
- Mar 10, 2004
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Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.
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lol
quote:
JV-1V Prime had seen many changes in interior decor over time.
When ASCN had held it, the walls had been of solid Bistot.
When Lotka Volterra had held it, the bistot had been refined and replaced with the bright, shining face of SirMolle rendered in the finest oils.
When the Hamlord had claimed it as his personal fortress, various pig-based accoutrements of indescribable nature had covered the walls.
But now, the walls were as blank and empty as when the station had been spawned.
The new ruler of the Swarm had no need for human comforts. No cushions. No decorative pork dicks. Not even the towering self-portraits that were the mark of a quality dictator.
Instead there was only the matte shine of some undefined metal.
And the Eyes.
Oh, yes, the Eyes.
They had always been there, some said. But now that their master ruled in truth instead of de facto, no more subtlety or stealth in their placement was required.
They were simple white and black spheres. The genius of their placement was that no matter how one turned, they always appeared as if they had been crudely MSpainted in place. Watching you.
Everywhere.
Every newbie frigate had a pair of the eyes behind the cockpit.
Every refining station from RA Prime to the RISE Front had several.
Every new dreadnought the Swarm piloted was covered in them.
Your average GIA agent had no more than five tattooed on him, in multiple places on his body.
And, naturally, there was one in every bathroom. These were the only ones GIA agents would acknowledge the existence of, and when asked for their reasons behind their placement they would always give the same answer, in the same dead tone.
"The Leader has needs."
A few renegades had attempted to dissect the Eyes- most likely to try to find a way to get them to broadcast pornography, or play Yakkety Sax, or self-replicate to the point that they could crash a grid at will, or some other such harmless fun. But no.
Any time an Eye's integrity was pierced, a very simple procedure ran. None know how the GIA accomplished it. None dare attempt to replicate it.
But those who attempt to dissect an Eye saw nothing but swap.avi to the end of their days. Usually, this was within five minutes, as the new leadership took a dim view of such efforts.
The terrifying thing is that every station the Swarm captures, within seconds of sovereignty being granted, is covered in these eyes. Some say this the work of the GIA. These people are known as the Obvious Brigade. Some say that the GIA places them the second sovereignty is granted. These are known as the loving Magic Brigade.
Then there are the rumors that are ever so efficiently hushed, that the GIA's propaganda is more than simply propaganda.
That the GIA has Eyes in all places. In all things. And it is the only sign of power that the new Grand Master of the Swarm desires or needs that in the territory he holds, the Eyes allow themselves to be seen.
In JV-1V there are no cushions. No couches, no exotic dancers, no manslaves, no booze crates, no piles of Arkanor.
But there is a single chair, illuminated by the light of a million flickering viewscreens.
And from that throne, The Mittani watches over us.
eve is like a words black hole sucking everything into it
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Jun 1, 2007 00:39
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- Powerful Two-Hander
- Mar 10, 2004
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Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.
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ruh roh
Mystic Mongol posted:
It's not that hard. CCP has threatened to sue Goonfleet, and EveO is full of people saying stupid things, like, "Ooooh, they're gonna sue Goonfleet, that'll teach them not to blow up my ship that one time!"
Soooooooo, one of the directors has the bright idea halfway through the Goonion to claim copyright on the speech, knowing that no one would recognize it, so now Goons can say back, "oOooooOOOoooh, you violated our copyright, it's off to internet jail with you!"
It's not a deep plan or anything.
guys it was a prank all along, we're the stupid faggots not space captain goon of the goony goon fleet
edit:
Bastard Tetris posted:
Between the mod cocksucking and pictures of fat people it is pretty entertaining, but 11 pages?
Itzena posted:
You'd think that a games-orientated FYAD-a-like would have figured it out eventually, or something.
Bastard Tetris posted:
You got trolled, son. A lot of you did.
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Jun 1, 2007 00:57
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Apr 27, 2024 04:55
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May 31, 2007 14:40
