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Dominic Hokage posted:Joke's on you, Iris is a man too.
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Nov 24, 2007 02:17
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Dominic Hokage posted:Joke's on you, Iris is a man too. And that man is the devil himself.
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Nov 24, 2007 03:28
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Semiru posted:And that man is the devil himself. So why would the devil take the guise of a ten-year-old girl? Is it because it would be the last thing we'd expect? Statistics show the 'last thing we'd expect' should really be the FIRST thing to expect.
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Nov 24, 2007 14:41
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Dominic Hokage posted:Joke's on you, Iris is a man too. Too? I thought they were all men. 'Cept for Maria obviously. There is no such thing as a male russian sniper with blond hair.
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Nov 25, 2007 05:31
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[Generic post about reading through the thread just recently and loving the whole thing] So let me see if I've got this straight. Maria is the introverted girl. She's also a hot blonde Russian sniper with nerves of steel and has good enough aim to blow the nuts off of you from 200 yards with a derringer. Probably a freak in the sack. Kohran is the nerdy girl. She has lots of explosives and a tendency to stick things in places they don't belong. Iris is the token loli. She might let you live through the apocalypse she's bringing about if you beg. Sumire is the token slut. However, she's a rich slut, and she's hot, so it doesn't really matter anyway now does it? Kanna's the athletic girl. I'm tempted to draw a comparison between her affection and a large automobile. All things considered, I would like to cast a vote for Sakura. Because I can 
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Nov 29, 2007 08:28
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Alacron posted:[Generic post about reading through the thread just recently and loving the whole thing] Those descriptions sound about right, although I don't agree with your conclusion at all I just hope this thread hasn't died. But I suppose it's that time of year. Finals time. 
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Nov 29, 2007 17:06
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Sumire is more of a tease than a slut. Don't let the thread die. It must live on forever and ever.
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Nov 30, 2007 07:30
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This thread is but a passing shell. The real Sakura Wars LP already lives on in our hearts... forever.
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Nov 30, 2007 07:41
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Hate to interrupt your stirring eulogies, but the thread ain't dead yet. I'm just horribly inconvenienced by having virtually everything due within the next week.
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Nov 30, 2007 16:04
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As long as you can update over the winter break, that's fine. And if there's a Christmas chapter that would be even better.
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Dec 1, 2007 08:22
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CannonFodder posted:As long as you can update over the winter break, that's fine. Unfortunately, onscreen Christmas doesn't occur until lategame in 2, where your choice for lead actress in the holiday production doubles as your choice for heroine.
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Dec 1, 2007 10:15
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My copy finally came. I am obviously not the Sakura Wars master that you are, Spirit Armor. I failed to rescue Sumire from bombs in the pool and instead of stripping and probing Ogami, Kohran just played koi koi with him. I felt almost disappointed.  E: Oh nevermind, I just checked the scene and apparently RAEP is new for the PS2 version and I'm playing the PSP Dreamcast port. (It's actually quite good, there are voices for the major scenes.) TheGreenAvenger fucked around with this message at 05:02 on Dec 2, 2007 |
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Dec 2, 2007 04:56
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 If there's one thing that Ogami had learned over the past couple of months, it was that the music room is quite possibly the one bastion of sanity left in the entire theater. Simply venturing into one of the more public rooms exposed him to the risk of getting assaulted by Sakura or Kohran or Iris or Kohran or Kanna or Kohran, and after experiencing the multiple horrors of Kohran's room, Ogami wasn't sure he wanted to see what kinds of skeletons everyone else had in their closets.  Besides, Ogami was reasonably sure that only two people ever went down to the music room. He was one of those two. The other was a deadly blonde woman. What's the worst that could happen?  ----  ---- [Ogami]  ... I'd kind of meant for that to be a hypothetical question. [Iris]  Hmm? What was that, Oniichan? [Ogami]  N-nothing! Nothing at all. Just going to have to cross off the last entry on my list of safe havens, is all. ---- [Ogami]  Heh... Iris, you can play the piano? [Iris]  Yup, but only a little. I was taught how to play while I was at home.  [Ogami] I don't know if I'll be able to play very well, but it looks interesting... alright, I'll give it a try.  Meanwhile, Jean-Paul bit back a barely audible shriek as his entire body weight was swung around by the arm, the loosening stitches sending red-hot pain flaring through whatever dark matter constituted his nervous system. ...  . . . ---- [Ogami] ... you DO know that there are plenty of chairs in this room, right, Iris? [Iris]  Iris likes this chair the best. [Ogami] But, uh, you know, this IS awkward, not to mention that I don't have any recollection of the past thirty seconds prior to you sitting on my lap, so why don't we go get a seco-- [Iris]  THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. THIS CHA-- [Ogami] --on the other hand, time's of the essence, so let's just get started! ---- [Iris] You know, when you play the piano, you have to go like this... and gently curl your hand. [Ogami]  L, like this? [Iris] Aaaaahn, that's completely wrong! Really, it can't be helped... [Iris] Here! And as Iris touched Ogami's hand, tendrils of insanity leaked in and flooded his mind with unimaginable power, and though Ogami squeezed his eyes shut in instinctive terror, eldritch images continued to sear themselves into his retinas, accompanied by the high-pitched giggling of a little girl more frightening than the very bowels of Hell opening up and-- [Ogami] Eh... an egg? [Iris] When you play the piano, you have to gently curl your hand like you're holding an egg. Try holding the egg like you're gently wrapping it up. Lightly and gently, okay? [Ogami]  Alright...  ----  ----  ----  ----   SPLURCH. [Iris]  Kyaaaah! You put too much strength into it! You broke the egg! [Iris]  Even though I told you to do it lightly... weren't you listening to Iris at all-!? [Ogami] Sorry... I just suddenly got into it, and... [Iris] Really... let's just practice an easy song next...   ----  ----  ----  [Ogami] Yup. It's tough, but it's fun. ---- [Ogami] I especially enjoyed crushing that whole carton of eggs-- [Iris] DAMMIT ONIICHAN, GET OUT. ----  [Ogami] Aah, okay. Next time, let's practice togther again. [Iris] It's a promise, Oniichan! And with that, Iris crawled back into her dread lair to slumber. Spirit Armor fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Dec 22, 2012 |
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Dec 9, 2007 04:37
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I flinch whenever I see Iris in that "swooping in for the kill" pose. You just know her eyes are fixed on Ogami's jugular.
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Dec 9, 2007 05:05
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 Okay, so that's one safe haven down. But it's got to stand to reason that the safest spot in the theater is the hangars filled with rear end-kicking robots.  ---- [Ogami] ... more reassuring is the fact that I'm probably safer from Sakura when there're a few layers of metal armor between me and her. ---- [Ogami] I really hope AND I sincerely doubt that Maria has sortied or anything like that, but... [Ogami]  It looks like she isn't here, so... I might as well go somewhere else.  ---- [Kohran]  Ya haven't really been lookin' well since ya stepped foot into this theater, y'know. I mean, you've lived here for MONTHS now! Home's where the heart is, ain't it? [Ogami]  Yeah, but home shouldn't be shoving freezing metal utensils up my colon to GET to my heart. [Kohran] But the quickest way t' a man's heart is through his stomach! [Ogami] Before or after you rearrange my organs in alphabetical order?! [Kohran] Gotta keep things tidy in there, Ogami-han, it's standard practice to see if your insides're functioning correctly! [Ogami] You usually don't inspect them up-close and personally! [Kohran]  I'll inspect YOUR insides any day of the week! [Ogami]  Only if you let me return the favor! ---- [Ogami] Ah.... Kohran. Hm? What's up with those clothes? [Kohran] Aah, this? How about it, don't it look good on me? Whenever I go into some full-blown adjustments or repairs, I change into these here clothes. 'Cause if I'm in what I usually wear, I can't very well lie down on th' floor or anythin'. [Ogami] I see... [Kohran]  Since th' Koubu were pretty badly injured in th' last fight, I figured that I'd better go all out an' give 'em a good fixin'-up. [Ogami] Kohran....  When I make these choices, I not only think about which would be the best bet, but which choice is the most Ogami-like in appearance. Let's take this situation as an example. Mental beating up... no. Cutting my losses and leaving her to shoulder the entire burden... no. So I wait for the third choice.  Getting horny at a totally random moment... yes. [Ogami] Those clothes... they look great on you. Your normal outfit is also great, but you look really, really cute right now.  [Kohran]  This kinda mannish-lookin' outfit... there's no way y' could call it cute, now. ... oh, Kohran, how little you understand the male mind. [Ogami] What're you talking about... you look so vivid and lively that you're fairly sparkling in my eyes. ---- [Ogami] Like a glass of champagne, accompanied by a fresh garden salad with cucumbers and whole eggplants. Why, I could just eat you all up. [Kohran]  Are we even talkin' about th' same thing anymore? [Ogami] ... God help me, I don't know. ---- [Kohran] Really now... I can't put up wit' any more o' this. It's... it's jes' too embarrissin'. ---- [Kohran] I mean, I can strip you down naked and poke an' prod all o' your movin' parts fer HOURS, but this kinda bizarro flirtin' an' complimentin' is way outta my league... [Ogami] You could've stopped about a sentence ago. In fact, I'd actually have PREFERRED that you stopped talking about a sentence ago. ---- [Ogami] Kohran....  On hindsight, Ogami really should've been paying attention to that odd little sparkle in Kohran's eyes. [Ogami] Aah, I got it. [Kohran] The gashes on Maria's Koubu... looks like she'd been hit on a lotta places where she ain't usually hurt. Was she thinkin' of somethin' even while fightin', I wonder? [Ogami] Hmm... that's starting to get me a bit worried, too. [Kohran] I'm leavin' Maria-han t' you. See if ya can't raise her spirits or somethin'. Right then... I've gotta keep up with these adjustments... I'll catch ya later. And that was that. Kohran kept working late into the night, and the rest of Ogami's rounds passed in its usual, non-descript manner... At least, that's what he'd have liked.  On the way up from the hangars to Maria's room, Ogami could've sworn that he heard something in KOHRAN'S room.  But that's impossible, right? Kohran was just downstairs. She couldn't have beaten Ogami up to the second floor THIS quickly- she'd have had to lurch out of those drat hangars at the speed of light to get past him, for crying out loud!  Thus, it must be a thief, or a burglar, or someone tha-- [Kohran] Ah, Ogami-han. Th' doors unlocked.  ... ----  ----  [Ogami] A... again...!? I'm fairly certain that he deserved that for making the greatest tactical blunder in the history of mankind: Hitting on Kohran.  [Ogami]  Gghk....  ... there are just... no words.  [Kohran] A'right, let's get started, shall we? [Ogami] Kohran... [Kohran] Whazzat, Ogami-han. You look like ya wanna say somethin'... I'm listenin', give it a shot.  Well, okay, there are SOME words, phrased in the form of a very, very pressing question. [Kohran] It ain't anythin' t' worry about, Ogami-han. I think this look suits ya pretty well. [Ogami]  R... really? [Kohran] Ogami-han, don'cha think that ya really don't look half bad? [Ogami] Yeah, well... a bit... It was at this point that a possibility wormed its way into Ogami's horrified mind. Kohran wasn't doing this for the sake of science, OR for the sake of sadism. Maybe... maybe... Maybe this was Kohran's version of a mating ritual. [Kohran] If that's th' case, then let's have another happy naked data-gatherin' today, too!! Here we go, SWITCH ON! [Ogami] Fghgyah!! And then, of course, Ogami thought of nothing at all.  [Ogami] ... gah, i-it was a dream again? [Kohran] C'mon, Ogami-han, it's time t' get up! [Ogami] Ah... aah, sorry. I'll be leaving now.  ----  (Insert jab at Ogami's predisposition to stating the painfully obvious, or his tendency to be frighteningly slow on the uptake, no doubt a result of Kohran's loving ministrations.) NEXT TIME: How much manpower does it take to find a blonde woman in a theater full of Asian people? Spirit Armor fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Dec 22, 2012 |
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Dec 9, 2007 05:20
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CannonFodder posted:As long as you can update over the winter break, that's fine. I tend to take screenshots and record movies somewhat in advance, so there should at least be enough to tide us over for the holiday. I'm getting a new laptop fairly soon. With luck, it'll prove able to support recording PS2 gameplay movies and/or taking screenshots through GameBridge, etc. TheGreenAvenger posted:My copy finally came. I am obviously not the Sakura Wars master that you are, Spirit Armor. I failed to rescue Sumire from bombs in the pool and instead of stripping and probing Ogami, Kohran just played koi koi with him. I felt almost disappointed. The latter would be kind of frightening. Kohran violates Ogami if and only if he's on sufficiently good terms with her...? Also, pool bombs are invariably the work of old man Yoneda, as is the existence of anything nonsensical in the theater. Sindai posted:I flinch whenever I see Iris in that "swooping in for the kill" pose. You just know her eyes are fixed on Ogami's jugular. I've always kind of assumed that her eyes were fixed on not only his soul, but on the soul of whoever's playing the game. Fourth walls are nothing to people (?) like Iris.
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Dec 9, 2007 05:26
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Oh sweet, an update! I'm really glad to see this thread isn't dead. Having never played nor even heard of these games I've been following the plot with some interest. I hope you can get more updates soon!
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Dec 9, 2007 06:02
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Great to have you back, man. Now go see if Sumire can spare some vodka out of her copious alcohol store. It's not like she can get much further than opening the bottle anyway.
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Dec 9, 2007 07:38
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Spirit Armor posted:The latter would be kind of frightening. Kohran violates Ogami if and only if he's on sufficiently good terms with her...? Missed it in my first go through, but the script says that the bombs were just being stored in the pool, and don't worry they won't move~ (THEY DID) Man, though. Sumire was dumb for swimming in a pool full of bombs.
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Dec 9, 2007 10:27
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Oh hey, you HAVEN'T been run over in a terribly regrettable truck accident outside your residence/place of work/school. Obviously someone hasn't been doing their job right, damnit. Good to see some new updates, even if we did have to go through horrible Ogami violation scenes again, and if I ever have to use that sentence again- at least outside this thread- I am going to shoot myself and everyone around me. In that order.
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Dec 9, 2007 10:55
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Rise from your grave! As they say in France, you have to break a few eggs before you learn how to play the piano.
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Dec 9, 2007 15:20
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Moon Slayer posted:Oh sweet, an update! I'm really glad to see this thread isn't dead. Having never played nor even heard of these games I've been following the plot with some interest. I hope you can get more updates soon! Believe me, I'll be doing my best. The main bulk of my final projects are out of the way, and I should have a good chunk of free time over the holiday. Glazius posted:Great to have you back, man. True, though given Ogami's current state of mind/body, I'm not entirely sure if he needs a giggling, drunk, and/or half-naked woman slumped over the table. Given what we've seen of Sumire's drinking prowess, the fumes alone would probably do her in. TheGreenAvenger posted:Missed it in my first go through, but the script says that the bombs were just being stored in the pool, and don't worry they won't move~ (THEY DID) Man, though. Sumire was dumb for swimming in a pool full of bombs. Yeah. I mean, who does she think she is? Kanna? BlondRobin posted:Good to see some new updates, even if we did have to go through horrible Ogami violation scenes again, and if I ever have to use that sentence again- at least outside this thread- I am going to shoot myself and everyone around me. I was really tempted to edit the scene out, but I'd already taken the screenshots weeks ago, so I felt that I had to use 'em in some way or other. If it helps, I don't think there are very many violation scenes left. Dominic Hokage posted:As they say in France, you have to break a few eggs before you learn how to play the piano. Knowing Iris, she probably started out using whole chickens. Thanks for your patience, guys. It should be comparatively smoother sailing from here, so updates will be more frequent. Also, I've played up to the end of the chapter, which is a few updates ahead. ... T-there are no words, for a number of reasons.
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Dec 9, 2007 18:03
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Good to see you back on track, Spirit Armor. I've had a lot of fun reading this LP and I was afraid that it was going to die. After all, we need to see what horrors poor Ogami will endure until we see the ending credits.
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Dec 9, 2007 18:12
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Damnit, Ogami had better stumble upon Maria in the next update. Last I checked she was winning the vote, but we never see her!
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Dec 10, 2007 04:24
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Spirit Armor posted:Yeah. I mean, who does she think she is? Kanna? Swimming short distances isn't any fun without explosives to dodge. And YAY! More creepy Kohran.  BOO! No extra tipsy Sumire. 
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Dec 10, 2007 05:02
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Bah, we need more Kanna in this thread.
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Dec 10, 2007 05:10
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Sylphosaurus posted:Good to see you back on track, Spirit Armor. I've had a lot of fun reading this LP and I was afraid that it was going to die. After all, we need to see what horrors poor Ogami will endure until we see the ending credits. Thanks for your support! I'm dead-set on finishing this thing, though it might take me a while- I'm thinking of stepping up the pace. If you're looking for scenes of Ogami getting messed up to no end, I doubt that this thread will disappoint. linall posted:Damnit, Ogami had better stumble upon Maria in the next update. Last I checked she was winning the vote, but we never see her! This is one of those sections where you won't find her until you've either run out of time, or stumbled on her hiding place prematurely. The latter option is faster, but it also ends the section early and causes you to miss scenes. It won't be long, however. And the next few parts will make up for the current lack of Maria. Kinda. CannonFodder posted:Kanna probably put those there before she left, hoping they'd still be there when she got back. Come to think of it, I haven't actually seen Kanna SWIM. I think she mostly pumps iron and runs laps around the theater. Also, I can't quite imagine her in a swimsuit. CannonFodder posted:And YAY! More creepy Kohran. Eh, you gain some, you lose some. Sylphosaurus posted:Bah, we need more Kanna in this thread. I agree. So here's a picture of Kanna doing something physically improbable. 
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Dec 10, 2007 08:02
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Spirit Armor posted:I agree. So here's a picture of Kanna doing something loving awesome. There, I fixed it for you. I'm still not changing my Maria vote though. Unless she does something to lose it in the next section.
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Dec 10, 2007 08:12
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Oh Jesus Christ that's awesome.
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Dec 10, 2007 08:29
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And people still prefers Maria over Kanna...
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Dec 10, 2007 09:22
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Sylphosaurus posted:And people still prefers Maria over Kanna... Because she won't stoop to the level of jumping the shark? Yeah. e: Seriously though, is that official artwork? Does Kanna actually kick a shark at some point during the game? Because the idea that such an event fits semilogically into the story is hilarious. linall fucked around with this message at 13:53 on Dec 10, 2007 |
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Dec 10, 2007 13:50
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Spirit Armor posted:Come to think of it, I haven't actually seen Kanna SWIM. I think she mostly pumps iron and runs laps around the theater. Swimsuits just create drag. All you really need for speed is a thin coating of oil.
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Dec 10, 2007 16:35
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Kanna doesnt jump the shark. Instead she loving kicks it! Hell yeah. 
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Dec 10, 2007 17:05
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I was tempted to change my vote to Sumire after new evidence suggests that she might actually be god, but Kohran continuing her antics for science changed my mind Actually, if it came down to deciding between Sumire and Maria, I'd vote Mario. EDIT: Oh god, I mean Maria! MariA! 
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Dec 10, 2007 17:32
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Icedude posted:Actually, if it came down to deciding between Sumire and Maria, I'd vote Mario. I'm a little disappointed that that was a typo because the mental image it conjured was hi-larious.
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Dec 10, 2007 17:35
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 Glad to have you back, Spirit Armor!
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Dec 10, 2007 18:35
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Spirit Armor posted:Come to think of it, I haven't actually seen Kanna SWIM. I think she mostly pumps iron and runs laps around the theater. You asked for it. Though I'd think that Kanna would probably proceed to rape the shark.  Also here's proof that Kohran can inherently kick Kanna's rear end. 
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Dec 10, 2007 18:46
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I like how Iris is trying to pretend that she isn't actually trying to murder Kohran in that beach picture.
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Dec 10, 2007 19:06
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I prefer to think of it as Iris demonstrating that she doesn't need eyes to beat someone to death.
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Dec 10, 2007 20:06
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Spirit Armor posted:True, though given Ogami's current state of mind/body, I'm not entirely sure if he needs a giggling, drunk, and/or half-naked woman slumped over the table. Given what we've seen of Sumire's drinking prowess, the fumes alone would probably do her in. I've thought about Forte (from Galaxy Angel) making Sumire drink vodka more than a few times lately.
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Dec 10, 2007 22:34
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