|
haha, I love how the only thing she can think of when shes literally dripping with excitement is "oh darn".
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 02:10 |
|
|
I was at some random book store somewhere, and for some reason picked out the book "The Demon King" by Chris Bunch. Looked like some typically fantasy junk and was only three bucks in the bargain bin. No wonder. This book was like a porno. They have graphic sex scenes and stuff. There's like five different three ways. I don't even remember the plot or characters, but they both sucked. Check it out for a good laugh. Also disappointed with no robots 
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:14
|
|
|
Alexander Steedly posted:I was at some random book store somewhere, and for some reason picked out the book "The Demon King" by Chris Bunch. Looked like some typically fantasy junk and was only three bucks in the bargain bin. No wonder. This book was like a porno. They have graphic sex scenes and stuff. There's like five different three ways. I don't even remember the plot or characters, but they both sucked. Check it out for a good laugh. You read the last part of a trilogy. Yeah, there's some porn, but if you read the whole thing, it's actually pretty good for fantasy. Also, check out A Reckoning For Kings, by Chris Bunch and Allen Cole. Best book about Vietnam ever, told from both sides of the war. Derail over. MORE BIG O!
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:17
|
|
|
I know an awesome goon voice actor. Let me see if I can get him in on this. There hasn't been a good GBS creative project for a while. If this book is recorded in its entirety, chapter by chapter, and someone can host it, I will do the coding legwork to set it up as a free downloadable podcast in iTunes. Petey fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Sep 28, 2007 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:22
|
|
|
Clu Gulager posted:Using a toilet paper holder for a dildo? Crossing my legs for the next couple of days. There aren't enough  s, really.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:31
|
|
|
Man, that's some pretty ridiculous erotica right there. Masturbating with the toilet paper holder?! Post more, and count me in for audiobooking!
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:32
|
|
|
Space Odin posted:Masturbating with the toilet paper holder?! I saw it in a hentai once and thought, "man, those Japanese guys are so creative." Apparently I was wrong and America invented it first. I believe this book should be read by a very deep and creepy voice with heavy panting and fapping noises in the background.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:43
|
|
|
Holy poo poo, that is hosed up! Voting 5 on this if it gets me an audio book out of it! Also, I would be down for helping make said audio book. I can only imagine the lines I'd have to read. "Yeah, you like that prick in your oval office, baby? My prick is so hard for your oval office, baby." I could go on, but I figure the "...prick...oval office...baby" formula writes itself from there on.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:45
|
|
|
SpartanIV posted:I came to this thread expecting giant fighting robots. BIG OOOOO! SHOW TIIIME! (oval office lips.  )
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:48
|
|
|
We should have a separate person read each chapter for the audiobook. I'm so in.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 06:57
|
|
|
  Pretty awesome book. Needs more action outside of the bathroom and with the dudes on the subway, though. The dirty bathroom completely killed it for me.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 07:07
|
|
|
All right, you asked for it: “The Big O” – Chapter 2 – In which Melanie is champions the rights of women in the workplace, and gets an exciting mid-nap surprise!  Right, I forgot to mention, everybody in this book besides Melanie have absolutely terrible porn names. Like Santini went to a porn name generator on geocities, entered in an erotic word, and transformed it into the same erotic word with some letters changed. Also, remember in high school when you had to analyze poems by underlining descriptive diction that conveyed a mood? That works out awesome with this book.  Notable: the first appearance of the nose fetish. This comes back again and again. My favorite part is where she seriously considers pouring boiling hot coffee on herself. Scratch that, it was the talking vagina. Definitely the talking vagina.  What kind of crazy rear end cakes did people bake back in the late sixties? And what the hell, he seriously kept dictating the letter throughout this entire experience. While Melanie’s idea of a viable plan is pouring hot coffee on herself, she somehow manages to be an incredible multi-tasker. And yeah, Gloria Slowcome. Awesome.  “Then she relaxes, eyes closed and tries to take part in the action.” I’m new to posting here, and I don’t actually know how to make the little icon with the psyduck, but seriously, that is the only response I can come up with for this passage. Glad to see that you goons are enjoying this as much as I did. (And maybe a little disturbed). The joint audio book idea sounds awesome, and if it happens, I preemptively call the boy scout passage. Tune in next time to find out what happens when Melanie wakes up from her surprise raping! (Hint: She has sex with her roommate’s boyfriend). Pedwalk fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Sep 28, 2007 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 07:07
|
|
|
^^^^^She gets raped and then decides "hell, this ain't so bad." Yeah. A real blow for the women's rights movement itt.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 07:14
|
|
|
Surprise! Buttsecks. I would say that this has to be a haox, but my dad used to have a few of these late-60s porn books around, and yeah. This is on par.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 07:17
|
|
|
Congratulations on this extraordinary find. I think that the whole stenography scene reads much better if you assume that Mr Feeley has the doughnut on his nose the whole time.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 07:21
|
|
|
Pedwalk posted:“Then she relaxes, eyes closed and tries to take part in the action.” Fixed. (semicolon psyduck semicolon)
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 07:25
|
|
|
I just realized... in chapter one, where it says this: "Then it begins, she puts her hand over her mouth as Tom used to, to soften her sounds." Since it had been said that she never had sex with Tom, this could only be referring to Tom covering her mouth when he beat her. What the gently caress. (Well, either that or it's one of dozens of gaping plot holes.)
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:16
|
|
|
Sweet Jesus, why is this written in present loving tense?! Somehow these "erotic" stories aren't so mind-shatteringly bad when they don't involve furries or anime characters, but in a way that's probably for the best. Here's hoping this spawns a goon audio project.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:17
|
|
|
quote:Sliding into the voluminous chasm that knows no boundaries Goddamn, that is the least erotic way to describe a vagina ever. It sounds like a death trap described in a fantasy novel or something; e.g: "Krull fought with all his might, but the cold hands of the living dead kept pulling him backwards towards the Pit of Aargnon. He found himself sliding into the voluminous chasm that knows no boundaries"
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:24
|
|
|
RolandTower posted:Goddamn, that is the least erotic way to describe a vagina ever. It sounds like a death trap described in a fantasy novel or something; e.g: "Krull fought with all his might, but the cold hands of the living dead kept pulling him backwards towards the Pit of Aargnon. He found himself sliding into the voluminous chasm that knows no boundaries" Aaaaactually, it's describing her ring-piece at that point. Even worse. A Lovecraftian butthole of immense size, swallower of worlds.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:28
|
|
|
"..her oval office's saliva"? If it is made out of snot no wonder her oval office is constantly dripping.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:37
|
|
|
Local Group Bus posted:"..her oval office's saliva"? Saliva is spit. Mucus is snot. I really have to stop doing this.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:38
|
|
|
Oh, cool. Thanks. I'll be able to continue reading now 
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 08:40
|
|
|
All I could think about while reading this was: Seriously, this is some stupid/nasty poo poo. oval office saliva... 
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 09:04
|
|
|
RolandTower posted:
When I got to that line all I could think of was "I hope they don't get attacked by a grue  "This... is a horrible horrible book, and I want to own it so bad now. It's just... it's like internet fan fiction, but before the internet existed. Something this rare should be treasured, and forced upon any poor bastard who might want to read a book 
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 09:35
|
|
|
The office scene ended so abruptly, and on the terrible "fist" description, it had me imagining some sort of oval office-punching finishing move that spilled coffee everywhere. And he "only dictates letters in this manner." Ugh this thing is vile. Thanks for sharing, may we have some more?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 09:54
|
|
|
I actually have you to thank for coercing me into finally logging off and working on all that poo poo I've got piled up. If this could get published then it looks like there's hope for all those crazy fucks over at Fanfiction.net.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 10:23
|
|
|
Is there no other word for oval office than oval office?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 11:28
|
|
|
This book has simply too many What the gently caress sentences to underline them all.quote:as the room turns red and turns into little daisies of hot pink colour Did the rapist just come acid or something?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 11:59
|
|
|
What a find. I don't know whether to laugh, cry or 
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 12:11
|
|
|
Oh man this is like something you'd find on the internet, before the internet even existed. Also hot, I came, etc. MORE.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 12:15
|
|
|
ryantheillest posted:Is there no other word for oval office than oval office? Cunny, fanny, twat, vagina, pussy, muff, kitty, yoni, Port Royal, gaping axe wound, vertical bacon sandwich, you're welcome. It is really bugging me that in chapter one I'm pretty sure the protagonist's skirt was described as 'cotton' and in chapter two it said 'dacron.' Those are two very different fibres. Continuity errors like this really kill the erotic mood. Nihilism Now posted:Did the rapist just come acid or something?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 12:16
|
|
|
This is amazing, I tried to find the book on Amazon. There is this book and a a few of her other books are mentioned there, although none have any copies available. Post more!
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 12:49
|
|
|
Could you be a little specific for us (ex)Montanans about where the hell you found this little gem?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 12:59
|
|
|
Dove from Above posted:Did you also notice how this woman's vaginal fluids are apparently quite corrosive, since being saturated in them made the nylon of her underpants flimsy enough to be ripped with one finger? quote:# Durability: it's high tenacity fibers are used for seatbelts, tire cords, ballistic cloth and other uses.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 13:26
|
|
|
ryantheillest posted:Is there no other word for oval office than oval office? I was wondering just that. So many romance novels have the classic "mound of love pudding" or something like that, but this one is "Blah blah oval office blah blah blah etc oval office blah oval office blah blah oval office." I always thought of oval office as a nasty word, not a sexy word to describe one's bits.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 14:02
|
|
|
Dove from Above posted:vertical bacon sandwich
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 14:22
|
|
|
This sounds horribly a lot like the book Mr. Garrison wrote in that one episode of south park. It was a magnificent penis......
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 14:34
|
|
|
There are three available on Alibris: http://www.alibris.com/ You'll have to search yourself, it doesn't allow linking to search results.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 14:43
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 02:10 |
|
|
"...the undeniable smell of oval office" OK. That right there justifies the Audio book idea in my opinion. This is some strange poo poo though, totally bugged out. The fist thing? How could that not get edited?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2007 14:57
|
|
