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Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot


mallard fillmore is a cartoon about a conservative duck.

if you want to know more you can read about it on wikipedia or read all the words here:

king features syndicate which is probably owned by jews what with it being a media company posted:

Mallard Fillmore first hatched from the pen of Bruce Tinsley at The Daily Progress in Charlottesville, Va. Today, the celebrated comic strip about Tinsley's conservative reporter-duck fills the bill in nearly 400 newspapers nationwide.

Distributed by King Features Syndicate since 1994, readers of newspapers across the country enjoy the duck's right-wing viewpoint.

Tinsley created Mallard for what he saw as the conservative underdog. The strip is for "the average person out there: the forgotten American taxpayer who's sick of the liberal media and cultural establishments that act like he or she doesn't exist," he says.

"Mallard" almost did not see the light of day. When asked to come up with a mascot for The Daily Progress entertainment section, artist Tinsley showed editors three ideas: a blue hippopotamus; a big nose in tuxedo and cane; and a duck.

Tinsley says the hippo went unused for fear of offending overweight people, and the nose was axed because it would "offend people of Jewish and Mediterranean descent, not to mention Arabs and anyone else with a big nose." Tinsley says he thought his editors were kidding, but they were not.

Once Mallard Fillmore was off and running, his editors requested Tinsley tone down its conservative bias. When he refused, he was fired.

The strip caught the attention of The Washington Times, which used Tinsley's wise-quacking journalist in the commentary section before moving the strip to the comics pages. The rest, as they say, is history.


anyway blah blah you can find the latest strips at Jewish World Review



also it is important to do like almost an entire week on 90's fashion fads in mallard fillmoresville






but more often than not mallard fillmore is about not having a real punchline

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Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot


:911: no punchline never forget

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
oh hey I just realized you can fudge the date on the seattle post-intellilgence url and get strips back as far as 2004

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mallard.asp?date=20040911

just change the date in the URL there and get topical political humor from as far back as 3 years ago!



that's a pretty smug eagle right there, he knows what's up with how much more awesome the us is compared to everyone else

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Bi Till I Die posted:

now to be fair and balanced you need to make a megathread of those cartoons by that lesbian deviantartist who cant draw or make jokes either

i forget what its called

well the for better or for worse thread in gbs isnt entirely about for better or for worse and i had that in mind when making this thread so feel free to post whatever wacky political cartoons you want

for example this one is from my local rag and i don't get it


i've even met the guy that makes these he is a pretty big lolbertarian

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
oh poo poo this one is even better it's some kind of godwin clause invoking thing

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Toad on a Hat posted:

that's not godwin you retard

do you even know what godwin's law is?

that's just saying that hillary and obama are communists

yes, godwin's law is invoking hitler/the nazis in an argument, making you lose :godwin:

instead of hitler this is castro and the level of discourse in this comic is akin to someone invoking godwin's law on themself, ergo my statement

qed

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

for gods' sakes the transload feature of waffleimages is the easiest loving thing in the world to use

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
today's mallard fillmore:



who's calling who hackneyed? and what if some guy drew a cartoon about a conservative duck and nobody read it?

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot



my house growing up itt

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Minty posted:

imho the Leftersons is a more scathing indictment of liberals


:psyduck:









Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Toad on a Hat posted:

this copy/paste is the worst thing i've seen since garfield stopped being humorous

i mean my god, IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME POSES, WORD-BALLOONS AND FORMULA FOR EACH STRIP.

kid says something, mom rebuts, kid says something from a different angle, mom rebuts, insert stupid joke here and a fish who says something that no one should care about

the best part is that i am one of those people unfortunate enough to like bad puns, and these are so bad not even i can laugh at them

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Splint Chesthair posted:

A comic strip is not funny to me unless properly cited and annotated.*


* This post

You will find this comic hilarious then: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp *


* Post 335056599, The Something Awful Forums, user SplintChesthair

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Nonsense posted:

the Bible is true.

idk why you needed all those words these are the only important ones

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
Whoo, got tomorrow's Mallard! :D



Now if only I had a loving clue what this was referring to, I guess it is something like what these things used to be called?

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot


i love kelly and this one is awesome

COMPUTERS DON'T SHOW MATLOCK

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Hyosho posted:

I thought this was one of his weaker ones, personally.

I like the ones where it's made pretty clear he's a bitter divorcee with kids that hate him.

those ones are great too, though i'm not sure why goons seem to hate the youth/technology one. do they just not think that there aren't people out there who seriously think that way? :confused:

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
ok i have to crosspost this from the gbs thread because seriously what the gently caress



stephanie mcmillan is arguing that doing liberal stuff is a waste of time? what the hell? this woman makes no goddamned sense

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

FAG ON THE FORUMS posted:

If you fudge the dates at the Jewish World Review you can get ones going back to 2000.

If I'm not mistaken, this is the gem that was posted on 9/11:

i like how this series of strips is more relevant now than the current ones and they are from 2000:

http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard091100.asp

my favorite is this one:



it's one of the three jokes you can make about liberals (mainstream ones, anyway) that is actually kind of funny/true

but it's still been told better elsewhere.

edit: like a comic i saw forever ago where it said "how liberals fix a flat tire" and it showed a guy throwing dollar bills at a flat tire. that's show not tell, something mallard fillmore is not very good at.

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Santiago3 posted:

What's really funny is that most rich people I've known - when it comes to their kids - throw money at a problem in hopes of an easy solution. Kid's crazy? Buy more pills, get more doctors! Kid's still crazy? Send them to a clinic, hire better doctors! Kid's STILL crazy? Buy more and more pills!

given some time to reflect on it (you'll have to pardon me i haven't slept tonight) it's kind of not true anymore. conservatives want to spend like jesus is coming tomorrow and liberals want to balance the budget

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

THAGMARRRRRRRR posted:

The way conservatives would fix it is to remove all the tires and drive on the rims because if we remove tires we don't get tire problems, the tire beurocracy is what's causing all the problems in the first place

people need to pull themselves up by their tire tracks. no free roadside assistance, air isn't free.

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Hyosho posted:

This whole thing doesn't make a lick of sense - he's complaining that the songs from HIS teen years had explicit lyrics that he can't sing in front of kids? Wouldn't that suggest...

oh gently caress logic.

don't you understand the past was better it was ALWAYS better

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
From that right-wing watch blog:



Holy loving poo poo.

Also today's Mallard:



.............

I just. I don't know what to say. I'll just post an extreme close-up instead.

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Clavier posted:

I really wish he updated Anthropomorphic Republican Talking Duck more. There's only about two per year.

interestingly that is higher than "times mallard fillmore is funny per year" which is about zero

unless you count unintentionally funny

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot


HA. HA. HA HA HA.

Well he tried for a punchline, I guess.

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Starshark posted:

Speaking of things staying the same, why does his loving head keep changing colour? Is it some sort of monitor as to how full of poo poo he is?

I am trying to think of a cute explanation for it, but all i get is "Tinsley is a lazy rear end when it comes to coloring"

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
The invisible hand of the free market brings you:



Why does it feel like this strip is perpetually stuck in the clinton era?

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Angst posted:

I love the accusation that liberals don't read books, they just pretend to look smart/don't care about black people but pretend to so they won't be called racist. Of course republicans are the educated, tolerant types. Not like those liberals?

the only book anyone needs is the bible

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

JollyKlansman posted:

No, the most bizarre thing is the "LIBERALS LIBERALS LIBERALS" persecution complex. Jesus, you'd think running the country into the ground over eight years would do something about that but nooooooo

no the evil LIEbrals at CNN are still out to get America and force christians into concentration camps

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Uncle Wemus posted:

add in mallard looking at the reader saying something smug about liberals and you've got a comic



i was gonna change it to say "lol black people" but then i realized that the text in the panel i picked to copy and paste was actually funnier

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

repetitionary posted:





holy hell this makes mallard fillmore like a thousand times funnier

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
today's.



wtf didn't he just use this lame punchline? and that's not even getting into how terrible the setup is...

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
as a bonus here is today's strip as seen through the eyes of me:

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
usually mallard fillmore is stupid but today it is just incomprehensible!! he's not even trying here :(

Space Kimchi fucked around with this message at 19:06 on Oct 31, 2007

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Starshark posted:



Science is hard.

Oh Bruce-chan. Finally, you're on to something. Global warming on mars is actually a decent conservative talking point, and what do you do with this one glimmering hope of something to talk about? Something you MIGHT be able to rub in the face of those dirty LIEbrals?

YOU loving RUIN IT LIKE YOU RUIN EVERYTHING

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

RightHonourableHolt posted:

Oh get ready, Glenn Beck has a whole drat book about this coming out this month. Did you know as CO2 has increased, weather has improved and now we can swim any day in November?

i personally think that global warming on mars indicates that we should probably just calm down a little and realize that we're hosed anyway and just move toward a more sustainable lifestyle for the sake of practicality (I WANT MY loving ELECTRIC CAR, no foreign dependence on oil, kids in la not dying of asthma at 12, etc) but i'm sure that this is going to end up like that time i thought intelligent design was a neat phrase for saying that someone thought that there was some sort of entity that designed the universe be it god or aliens or bored junior high students in Dimension X and not something used to discredit science and homeschool kids into believing utter poo poo

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

HunterX11 posted:

i used to try to be fair, deeming intellectual charity an important principle of debate. but more and more it seems that the truth behind stupid beliefs is just as bad as any strawman one could conjure: intelligent design was literally cooked up by people who took a creationist textbook and replaced the word "creationism" with "intelligent design"

just like popular distrust of global warming science stems almost entirely from phony research from oil companies
(i say almost entirely because the remaining distrust comes from tobacco companies who figured they might as well be safe and attack science itself)

i mean, imagine if before the invasion you said, "the administration just has a hankerin' for war and is straight-out making poo poo up to justify it", you'd be dismissed as LOL BU$H

This is the cornerstone of the new conservative strategy: adopt positions so patently wrong that pointing them out will sound childish and stupid because nobody would really be that evil in real life. I mean, imagine how stupid Swift would have looked if the English actually had been eating Irish children!

the problem is that global warming activists have started their own religion surrounding it and are as obnoxiously evangelical as the worst of the country's religions. while some things must be done, the utter hysteria about it and the lack of pragmatic solutions not coming forward (once again WHERE THE gently caress ARE MY ELECTRIC CARS and also nuclear power plants) aren't helping. not to mention a lot of the "scientific consensus" is "if I don't agree with this I'll be blackballed from the scientific community" which is stupid and childish.

so really once again i hate both sides. the conservatives for being so utterly selfish and pig-headed that they put being right above making an appropriate and mutually beneficial move to solve a potentially huge problem (it's not patriotic to fill your SUV's tank with the blood of your fallen countrymen, assholes) and the liberals for being so reactionary and dogmatic about it that it gets in the way of actual pragmatic solutions.

i'd be the first on the block to buy a reasonably affordable electric car or vote to build (another) nuclear power plant in my area but I'm not sure most of the assholes on EITHER side of this travesty would do the same

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

THAGMARRRRRRRR posted:

you're really loving dumb space kimchi

granted, but so is the reactionary, religiously-zealous attitude that the climate crusaders have

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

fritz posted:

look how stupid you are

being blackballed for speaking the TRUTH itt

Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot

Pamplmoose posted:

wow you're retarded

more being blackballed for speaking the TRUTH itt

p.s. this is what i am talking about. three people have called me retarded without backing anything up. if i'm retarded tell me why i'm retarded don't tell me i'm stupid like you're some fundie telling me i'm going to hell for not believing in jesus.

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Space Kimchi
Jan 7, 2007

by Peatpot
ok guys stop now you're just making me blush :shobon: