The identify that story/book thread: Home of the gas pump boy

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > The identify that story/book thread: Home of the gas pump boy

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Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I have one from when I was a kid (80s or so) that I haven't been able to remember the title to.

It's pretty vague. I remember the cover being orange, and the artists drawing on the front was 3 bald kids in front of some giant room of escalators/future stuff.

The premise I can remember was something about one kid getting taken to the future by 2 other kids, and they had to shave his head because everyone in the world was bald by then. Another plot point was the kid who went to the future had a dollar, and apparently that made him the richest person on the planet. The bald future kids were freaking out because no one used paper money anymore and telling him not to show it to anyone because they will freak out.

I can't remember anything else about the book other than it was a paperback.

Not much to go on, but my google fu is weak

# ¿ Jan 3, 2010 23:55

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:25

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Holy crap that's it!!!!

I remember something about an ice cream parlor also.

Man I gotta search around for a copy of that now.

Thank you!!!!! This has been bugging me for weeks!

# ¿ Jan 4, 2010 01:13

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I am trying to remember a book I started reading a few months back, but I am completely stumped.

I don't recall the author, but the opening of the book was some guy in a coffee house talking to a chick (I think), and then some crazy guy attacks them. The guy ends up fighting him out in the street, and gets hit with a car and killed (again, I think). All I really remember was it was an interesting opening, and someone got their fingers bitten off. The homeless / crazy guy I think.

I didn't get to read much further, but he had a brother in prison who just got released, I think it was an army prison, and he was going to investigate the murder or go to the funeral or something.

Any ideas? It was written in the last 10-15 years at least.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2010 03:55

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Nah, I have all those, and this was a different author.

I wish I could remember more about it. I think the guy that got killed (the brother) was something like an assassin or CIA or something.

Christ this is annoying me. I was hoping to read it, went through my ebook library and can't find the damned thing.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2010 05:56

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

HAH!!!

Got it!

Damnable by Hank Schwaeble.

God, I loving HATE the sony software for the reader library. Did it take them a whole weekend to code it?

# ¿ Feb 7, 2010 22:06

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

There was a movie made a few years back called something like "The day the mexicans disappeared", which was basically the same thing. They vanish, and suddenly the world comes to a stop.

It might be based on that play.

No idea about the dinner one though..

# ¿ Feb 8, 2010 07:04

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Nevermind, found it!

Stupid_Sexy_Flander fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Feb 21, 2010

# ¿ Feb 21, 2010 03:30

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I had read a book a few years ago (maybe 10 years at the most), where these doctors had figured out how to bring someone back to life from their bones. Basically they can do something that makes the memories of whoever's bone it is (I guess genetic memory?)

Long story short, they end up working with an old fisherman, and inject him with the memories of st peter.

It was a pretty good read, but I can't recall the name of it. I am 99% sure it was a paperback though.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2010 20:05

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

I had read a book a few years ago (maybe 10 years at the most), where these doctors had figured out how to bring someone back to life from their bones. Basically they can do something that makes the memories of whoever's bone it is (I guess genetic memory?)

Long story short, they end up working with an old fisherman, and inject him with the memories of st peter.

It was a pretty good read, but I can't recall the name of it. I am 99% sure it was a paperback though.

Finally figured out the name of the book. It's Saint by Mark Bailey.

Good read

# ¿ Mar 22, 2010 02:44

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I think the third one MIGHT be Altered Carbon.

Richard Morgan is the author.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2010 18:41

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I can't find a book I am sure I owned...

I didn't get the chance to read it yet, but it was an ebook download, and I can't find it in my software or remember the site I got it from.

It has been released in the last few years, and the only thing I really recall about it was the description where a woman sees a guy saving a dog or taking car of a hurt dog. I think the cover was a guy and a girl, and it was nighttime.

I think it was one of those magical/urban fantasy novels, but damned if I can remember anything else about it. I started thinking of it today and thought I would read it but it's not in my software :saddowns:

Yea, not much to go on, but it's all I have v :shobon:

# ¿ May 26, 2010 00:52

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I don't remember if this was a book or short story, but I thought of it last night.

This guy dies, and goes to hell. Turns out hell is actually a pretty fun place cause apparently all you get to do in heaven is sing hymns and whatnot.

The only rule is, don't mess with the portal in the closet. I dunno if it was a door or a ball or what, but the only rule was don't touch it. Well, genius decides to touch it, and ends up waking up in the ambulance all hosed up from the gunshots (jealous husband I think?) that killed him.

Any ideas? I think I read this maybe 10-15 years ago?

# ¿ Sep 30, 2010 18:31

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

NinjaDebugger posted:

Was "she" actually an ancient mage/lich trapped in a beautiful woman's body? (Really hoping you say no, here, I'd hate to think anybody is actually looking for these gawdawful books.)

Now I am looking for these books :haw:

That plot sounds horrible enough to be a funny read.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2010 21:44

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Holy poo poo...

The first result on google is a review of the book, and wow... I don't think I would read these on a bet.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2010 23:28

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I hate when that happens. It bit me on the rear end with the Centari trilogy from Babylon 5. I spent YEARS thinking the third book never came out, and when I finally decided to just check (cause it wasn't showing up at the bookstore), it was something like 300 bucks for the third book.

I think if you are under contract FOR A SERIES of books, then the publisher needs to release that third book in the same amounts as the first two, or at least as a ebook download nowadays. Literary blue balls are the worst man :argh:

Gonna try to find the stone trilogy though, it sounds kinda cool.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2011 15:19

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Well, there is a book called Soon I will be Invincible , it's a book in a world where superheroes exist, and supervillains exist. I remember a latter part of the book taking place in an old jungle island base that starts coming back to life.

Dunno if that helps or not, them dastardly villains build things that last :haw:

# ¿ Jan 2, 2011 16:49

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

titus androgynous posted:

1. A short story I first read about in a thread here. It takes place in a small town on a future Earth in which the laws of physics are subject to change randomly and without warning. A load of people have died that way and the remaining citizens are pretty nihilistic about it. I distinctly remember one scene where a man's beer changes into something unstable and explodes in his hand, and another scene where the sidewalk suddenly melts and a guy is sucked into it before it changes back.

I know this has already been answered, but it also happens in a book called Deadworld by Bryan Smith. The random portals and loving up people bit I mean.

The book is pretty good. Not terrific, but it kinda hammers home the "OH WE ARE SO hosed" aspect of having random wormhole things pop open all over the place.

Worth a read at least.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2011 23:22

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

dms666 posted:

Okay, I've got a pretty tough one. I saw this book on Amazon ages ago but never got around to ordering it...now I'm interested again. If I remember, it was a fairly modern book (or series of books) about a traveling American folk hero who may or may not have also been a musician. I think he was sort of a Johnny Appleseed/Davy Crockett character who encountered all sorts of legendary and outrageous characters throughout the book.

I hope that rough description is enough for someone!

Did he play a guitar or a banjo or something?

I kinda remember a series where a guy was walking around the US and it was sorta folk hero-ish but I can't remember the exact name.

For some reason Johnny Cash pops in my head, but I know he isn't in the book? :confused:

# ¿ Apr 7, 2011 08:24

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

It sounds familiar...

Was it a computer techy kinda thriller?

For some reason I am thinking it's The Blue Nowhere by Jeffrey Deaver. I remember something about the villain guy photoshopping his own self into some pics so people think he has family, and something about le pin as well. Not 100% though...

# ¿ Apr 22, 2011 23:58

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Last one sounds like a Philip K Dick story, A Scanner Darkly.

No idea on the others though.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2011 01:35

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Piell posted:

Trying to remember a book about a vampire whose car is a ghost. Also I think he occasionally blacked out and turned into this demon bat thing.

Edit: Also a different series about a vampire who only gets half the vampire virus (due to a blood transfusion with Dracula), so he doesn't have all their weaknesses. He meets up with Civil War ghosts, and one of the books references the Tik-Tok of Oz.

I think the second one is the Half life series. Does he end up with a werewolf girlfriend?

# ¿ Jul 6, 2011 09:39

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Ok... got a tough one.

I dunno if it was a short story or a book, but I know it was something I read in the last 5 years or so. I think it was relatively new as well.

All I can remember was a guy getting stuck in a water tower. Like those big town sized water towers. I think some boards broke and he fell in.

I can't recall the rest of the story, or any real details other than that, and I can't be 100% sure it was a breaking board or something that led to him being stuck.

I just remember the situation, and now it's driving me nuts.

If it helps, I tend to read sci fi and horror.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2011 01:53

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Nah, not that one

This was an old abandoned or for some reason dry one.

I remember thinking "I wonder if the author got this idea from watching Wild Wild West?"

# ¿ Oct 28, 2011 18:40

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

That's a take on the legend of Hercules. He fought Antaeus (another demigod who gained his strength from touching the earth. I think he was Poseidon's kid ), and won by lifting him up and squishing him.

Dunno what book it is, but that might help narrow it down a bit.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2011 19:49

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Tuxedo Ted posted:

Second one might be a bit tougher, or it might not. Somewhere on these forums someone linked a short story, available online elsewhere. It is about alien invaders who try and take over a slightly post-modern Earth. But the trick is that the aliens aren't that advanced. The secret to interstellar travel is around victorian-era level technology, and mankind skirted around it by sheer fluke and continued to advance technologically without ever leaving earth. Contrawise, the aliens never bothered to advance their own tech much further because once space travel came around, that's all they ever bothered with. Flying to new planets, invading, etc, and not bothering with much else besides plundering. So they get to earth, find their sabers and muskets to be useless, and end up wondering what they unleashed by accidentally giving the humans the ability to travel across the galaxy. The POV switched between the raid captain of the aliens and the human's perspective.

This one should be freely available online, and might have only been published in a magazine or the like previously (if at all).

Thanks in advance.

Wasn't there one kinda like this where the invading aliens looked like elephants?

# ¿ Nov 23, 2011 20:00

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Could be a very hosed up interpretation of the origins of the minotaur..

Other than that, no loving idea. :psyduck:

# ¿ Dec 28, 2011 18:16

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Was it EXTREMELY fantasy, i.e. elves and whatnot?

I have an idea but I gotta dig around for it. Some guy goes to sleep and wakes up in a fantasy land where he gets to fight.. well, everyone.

There was another series kinda like it, except it was sci fi and when he did some kinda self hypnosis he ended up in some alternate sci fi/fantasy world with unicorns and lasers, iirc.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2012 07:58

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Got one that I am having a hell of a time finding.

It's non fiction, and it's a collection of letters written during the civil war, specifically the confederate side.

The cover is sort of a leather/suede type of thing, and the ink is gold leafing for the title... but damned if I can remember anything else.

Saw it at sams club of all places this week and made a mental note to check out online to see if I can find it cheaper, but kinda hard to do when there's no author or title to go with it.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2012 01:59

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

It's not really local, it's about a 45 min drive.

If I don't find it before my next trip there, I will though

# ¿ Jan 14, 2012 02:51

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhoooooooo didn't think about calling. Gonna do that in the morning

barkingclam - Nah, not it. The cover had CONFEDERACY in bigass handwritten font kinda letters. That one does look interesting though.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2012 10:58

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

VaultAggie posted:

I'm having a ton of difficulty trying to find a book I had seen a few months ago. It was about a group of explorers who get lost in a rainforest or jungle and are trying to find a city.

Got any other details? Cause... that's a pretty open idea for a book.

I have 2 I can think of offhand by Jeff Long and James Rollins.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2012 22:34

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Scored one in the US for .17 and 3.99 shipping. :dance:

Seems like a pretty cool anthology. Worth checking out for less than 5$ anyway.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2012 23:57

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I think I remember something like that first one. It was on a honeymoon, and the jock guy killed the wife (I think), but ended up having a giant snake in his belly or something to that effect.

It was something about how he had stomach cramps all his life, etc and it turns out he had swallowed some kinda snake embryo thingie when he went camping, and it finally got either alive enough or pissed enough to decide to pop out during his honeymoon.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2012 21:20

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

I think I just set a world record for "Man, I think I will read that, sounds interesting." to "What the holy gently caress... :stonk:

# ¿ Oct 2, 2012 12:53

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Got one that I can't remember.

All I remember was a scene where a guy goes to a house, and apparently there was a clown? Some kinda zombie or monster clown, and then they were being chased down the road with it in a car.

I remember it was something about a birthday party (hence the clown).

# ¿ Oct 16, 2012 19:02

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

There's a new series out that's apparently the same sort of thing. I think they melted the coins down to make a knife or something. I think it's called Silver.

Dunno what the 70s book is though, but if you find out I'd love to know. That's one of my favorite plots.

Even grabbing a set of the 30 coins to go on my book shelf :allears:

# ¿ Oct 29, 2012 21:36

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Got one that is driving me nuts.

It's an airport fictiony kinda book. I would have read it anywhere from the late 90s till early 2000's.

I don't recall anything about the book, other than the main character being the WORLD'S BEST TRACKER, and he's trying to find some kid lost in the woods. There's a few speeches in the opener about how dumb people are about their own survival in the woods, and then he finds the kid.

Later on I think he ends up fighting vampires or something in the woods, but I think they were science! vampires or something instead of the "dark lord of emo" kind of vampires. It might not be vampires, but I do remember him being stalked by something on or near a river.

I can't remember anything else about it other than that, but if someone can figure it out please let me know. I am stumped on this one.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2012 08:05

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Ok, trying to win a bet here.

I remember someone telling me about a book, apparently sci fi, where there is a first contact situation with aliens.

Some monk or priest or something ends up screwing something up and ends up as a sex slave to the aliens, and apparently not in the "good" way like SNOO SNOO.

My friend cannot believe this book exists, much less that it won awards, and I remember that it had won some sort of sci fi award for "best story" or something crazy like that.

So, anyone remember any books about monks getting buttfrustrated by aliens due to an intergalactic booboo?

# ¿ Nov 25, 2012 08:49

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Hedrigall posted:

Sparrow by Mary Doria Russel, it won awards yes.

Yay! I win my bet!

Thank you, cause no way in hell could I figure out a mentally safe way to search for alien monk rape sci fi in google.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2012 19:04

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:25

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Sounds vaguely like the plot to Screamers, which was based on a Philip K dick story Second Variety.

Robots end up going a bit shitnuts, build bigger and better robots, end up building a human style one, etc.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2012 02:59

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > The identify that story/book thread: Home of the gas pump boy

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