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Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

I read a fiction story several years ago, I think it was online. A guy (named Michael? 23 years old?) is hit by a bus and goes to heaven, which turns out to be reality, and earth is a simulation/game maintained by an AI. There are aren't many people in existence (less than 100?), they don't have genitals, and are immortal. They can travel very quickly by sitting on grass, and there's a really dumb explanation about light just not being able to travel far. Any ideas what it is?

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Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Read a short story a while ago about a kid who buys a used VCR from a second hand store from a shopkeeper who looks out of it.

The VCR works fine, but when testing it the kid records live TV and when rewatching realizes he can keep fast forwarding past the present time. At first he uses this to impress classmates with NBA predictions, but one night when fast forwarding he gets annoyed that the expected game in a few weeks was being preempted by news coverage, and as he continues fast forwarding the coverage gets worse before the recording is of dead air.

As he’s just a kid he has limited options and goes back to the store and the owner is like “you watched it too, huh?”

also curious what this is ^^

Help identifying: kids go to a summer camp and get small gems that you can do magic with. Main character gets some super special one with a division in it. The instructors weren't gonna put it out (or thought they didn't and it magically showed up?). There's a kid who rolls pancakes up and can eat a ton of food but is still skinny (nothing magical, just high metabolism/being a teenager).

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

someone hook me up :bandwagon:

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

Camo Guitar posted:

-During an autopsy the doctor is surprised by the weight of the head on a body (this is linked to the ending which I won't ruin here)

I’m never gonna read this, can you spoiler the ending/head weight thing? also something something it might help someone find it just tell me dammit

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

Carthag Tuek posted:

What the hell

:emptyquote:

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012


now with dedicated ‘identify that story/book’ channel!

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

Action Jacktion posted:

City of Ember?

pretty sure it’s gonna end up being this. great book iirc

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

Beef Hardcheese posted:

Watching the lovely preview for "The Tomorrow War" reminded me of this story I've been meaning to find and re-read forever.

A veteran returns home to some vaguely defined point in our past. He had been recruited to fight in a war at the end of time against a parallel timeline, in a universe-spanning war. His side won, which ensures their existence, and survivors get to go home still equipped with their weapons which are basically superpowers they were given. The rule is "go home and live your life but don't use your powers". It's alluded that there are a small handful of people who manage to use their powers but not gently caress things up too bad, like Jesus and the Greek pantheon. The main character finds another veteran who is misusing his powers/weapons, and main character has to kill him. The main character beats him up easily in 3D real world meatspace, but the real damage is in the other dimensions and planes of existence where the "grafted" power weapons exist. The moment he unveils his true form to the bad guy he says "Holy poo poo, Colonel Bone! I had no idea it was you!"* and shits his pants because he realizes he's completely outclassed. The fight is one-sided and over quickly, but because time travel is involved and their weapons/powers involve time travel, this means he erases the bad guy from having ever existed. Which means he never fought in the war at the end of time, and since his absence could Butterfly-effect it's way into making them lose the war, the main character has to go back and re-fight the war because of this guy. And the end implies that this happens a lot because people can't stop being jerks with their powers.

*Half the reason I remember this story is the fact that the main character was named "Colonel Bone" and I was like 12 when I read it.

Edit: Of course I find it immediately after I post this and resume searching http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/stories/quietwar.htm

this sounds cool as hell and i’m saving it for later

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

Numbuh 212 posted:

- The scariest one, that kept me up that night. Two siblings buy some kind of silly-putty type stuff, with a packet of directions. They read the directions backwards for some reason, and the goo expands to fill up their whole house. I remember the ending was their parents coming home from a date night and the main character tries to warn them, but can't (maybe the goo has turned out the lights?)

this sounds familiar and i’m p sure i lost sleep over it too

Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

i just remembered a book i had as a tiny kid in the early/mid-90s about a girl (blonde?) who had a kitten that would purr when scratched behind its (left?) ear. v short, maybe 1-2 sentences per page, full color images on every page

ik it’s a dumb kids book which isn’t this thread’s usual, but i’d love to read it again if anyone recognizes or can find it

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Jazz Marimba
Jan 4, 2012

AnonymousNarcotics posted:

I took it out from the library once a long time ago, but never finished it. This must have been sometime between 2009 and 2017.

ask the library for a printout of your checkout history

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