Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Internet_Wwwyzzerdd
Aug 4, 2008

by T. Finn
I lost it when I read the part about an old lady driving this :krad: Suburban

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/902492165.html

quote:

"AWESOME" TOTALLY TRICKED-OUT 1994 CHEVY SUBURBAN - $14500 (hayward / castro valley)

I AM SELLING MY "TOTALLY-AWESOME" 1994 CHEVY SUBURBAN 2 WHEEL DRIVE . THIS "AWESOME" TRICKED-OUT SUBURBAN IS JUST TOO FINE FOR WORDS !.... EVERYTHING FROM THE FRONT BUMPER TO THE REAR BELLY-PAN IS SMOOTHED OUT AND FILLED-IN AND HAS BEEN CUSTOMIZED IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER ! IT ALL STARTS OUT WITH IT ROLLIN DOWN THE ROAD ON 22" DOA CHROME WHEELS ! THEN MY BAGGER USES 4, NOT 1 OR 2, BUT 4 BRAND NEW CHROMED OUT, HI-FLOW 100% DUTY TIME VI-AIR, AIR COMPRESSORS, TO FILL 2 AIR TANKS WITH COMPRESSED AIR, AND WITH SWITCHES TO CONTROL THE RAISING AND LOWERING BY AIR PRESSURE TO THE FRONT AND REAR AIR SUSPENSION, FROM THE DRIVERS SEAT. THEN THE COMPRESSORS RE-FILL THE STORAGE TANKS THAT FILLS THE AIR-BAGS ON ALL 4 CORNERS SO YOU CAN RAISE AND LOWER THE AIR-SUSPENSION AT WILL ! THE REAR SECTION HAS BEEN "BACK-HALFED" WHICH MEANS THAT THE REAR SECTION OF THE FRAMEWORK HAS BEEN CUT OFF AND RAISED UP IN THE BODY TO MAKE ROOM FOR(WHEN IT IS BAGGED DOWN OR SLAMMED) THE REAR SUSPENSION AND AXLE, AND IT ALSO LETS THE SLAMMED CARS FRAMEWORK PLANT THE FRAME DIRRECTLY INTO THE ASPHALT, AND THATS ABOUT AS LOW AS YOU CAN GO, BUT IF YOU DID IT THE "OLD-SCHOOL" WAY, AND "C" NOTCH THE FRAME FOR THE REAR AXLE TO CLEAR THE FRAMEWORK, IT WOULD GIVE YOU AROUND 4" TO AROUND 6" OF TOTAL DROP MAXIMUM BUT THE WAY THIS ONE HAS BEEN MODIFIED EXTENSIVELY TO GET THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF TOTAL DROP, IT LETS THE CAR DROP DOWN ALMOST 2 TIMES AS MUCH AS THE "OLD-SCHOOL" WAY WITH A HOLE LOT OF UN-OBSTRUCTED SUSPENSION TRAVEL ! THEN THE FRONT SUSPENSION IS TRICKED-OUT AS WELL BEING TOTALLY RE-DESIGNED FOR MAXIMUM UP AND DOWN, FULL UN-OBSTRUCTED SUSPENSION TRAVEL AND SAFTEY TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION !THE UPPER CONTROL ARMS HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH RE-DESIGNED "TUBULAR-STEEL" UPPER CONTROL ARMS, WITH THE LOWER CONTROL ARMS THAT HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS AS THE UPPER ONES, ALSO RE-DESIGNED AND CORECTED TO MAXIUMIZE THE AMOUNT THAT THE SUSPENSION IS RAISED AND LOWERED TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION AND SO MODIFIED. BOTH THE FRONT AND THE REAR SUSPENSIONS USE "SLAM-BAGS"... ("THE BEST AIR-BAGS MADE TODAY"!) THE INTERIOR HAS BEEN TOTALLY "TRICKED-OUT" AS WELL WITH MEDIUM-COLORED, LIGHT-BLUE MATERIAL, THAT IS EXTENSIVELY EMBOSSED WITH HOT-FLAMES IN THE HEADLINER, DOOR PANNELS, AND THE REAR SHELF TOO... ! ALSO A TON OF BILLET ALUMINUM CUSTOM PARTS USED TO COMPLIMENT BOTH THE DASH AND DOOR PANNELS, AND HAS A CUSTOM ALL BILLET ALUMINUM FLAMED STEERING WHEEL, THAT THE TOP 1/2 OF THE GRIP RING HAS BEEN CUSTOM-COLORED TO MATCH THE SUBURBANS EXTERIOR PAINTWORK. IT'S AWESOME SHOW PAINT JOB IS A STUNNING USE OF COLORS, WITH A COBALT-BLUE CANDY COLORED BASE COAT WITH CHROMED,ICE-BLUE PEARL COLORED TRIBAL GRAPHICS DOWN BOTH SIDES ! THE ENGINE HAS BEEN CHROMED OUT AS WELL, BUT AS IS ALL THE DRIVE-TRAIN,LEFT TOTALLY-STOCK AND WITH ONLY APROX. 86000 "ORIGINAL" MILES ON IT SINCE NEW !(DRIVEN TO CHURCH AND BACK ON SUNDAYS, BY A SWEET LITTLE OLD LADY, WITH AN OCASIONAL STOP AT HER LOCAL LIQUER STORE,TO PICK UP MUCH NEEDED "DAILY" ESSENTIAL-ELIXORS,(FOR HER "BAD-BONES")I HAVE A "TON OF MONEY" TIED-UP IN MY RIDE, AND I AM BUILDING MY "TRICKED-OUT" NEW HARLEY, AND JUST DONT NEED BOTH OF THEM AND WILL SELL MY "RAD-RIDE" TO THE FIRST "LUCKY" PERSON TO SHOW UP WITH $20,000 $$$ CASH $$$ !...AND IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY IN FRONT OF ME...AND... IF YOU ARE "REAL-GOOD" AT "TALKIN-TURKEY" OR "JEWEN" ME DOWN ON MY ALREADY "SWEET-SELLIN" PRICE OF ONLY $20,000...MAYBE...JUST MAYBE... YOU CAN GET A EVEN "SWEETER" DEAL ON MY RIDE AND MAKE IT YOUR RIDE...! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS...CALL ME!... MICHAEL...@ (510)258-3370 ANYTIME ! 24/7 THANKS AGAIN ! Trades NOT ACCEPTED $$$ CASH $$$ Item Location: HAYWARD, CA PLEASE ! "PLEASE" CONTACT ME...IF YOU ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS... AND HAVE THE $$$ CASH $$$ ON HAND THAT IS REQUIRED TO PURCHASE MY SUBURBAN !... AND I PROMISE... I WON'T WASTE ANY... OF YOUR TIME, SO PLEASE...DON'T WASTE ANY OF MY TIME TOO ! I THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH ! MICHAEL...



Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply