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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


pr0zac posted:

With 14 thousand miles since 92. Less than 1000 a year, I'm kind of amazed.

No doubt he's missing a zero. It's gotta be at least 140,000 miles.

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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Rear Admiral BOOYA posted:

"I am the first registered owner."

This makes me nervous. Also, how does a 1999 Mitsubishi just sit somewhere without being scooped up by a dumb ricer?

It may have spent 10 years at a dealership, either as a demo model or as part of some display. It seems nutty to buy a car as an individual and just let it sit in a garage for a decade.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


1985 Corvette dream car - $1000

http://orlando.craigslist.org/car/596216610.html

I don't know about you guys, but I've always dreamt about a teal C4 Corvette shell on a boat trailer.

EDIT: With a bigass hole in the driver's door.

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


BossTweed posted:

Found this searching for BMW M3's. It has M3 side mirrors and lights apparently. I will never understand why you would paint any car to look like that.

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/car/607328606.html



It's a good thing he didn't say "never been in an accident" because it's got the 97+ facelift grille that just about every ricer (krauter) puts on their E36s after they rear-end someone.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


efnii posted:

I'm sure it's probably a vw bug kit.

I'd say it's built on a 4-cylinder 80s mustang.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Zool posted:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/mcy/636504878.html

2004 ninja 250cc...$3600 (seattle)

umm... yeah

Yeah but, dude, it was covered& garaged!

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Simkin posted:

That's an awfully steep price for something that even if properly restored, won't ever be a terribly cool/valuable car. All the weather stripping will be cracked/crumbling/nonexistant, and even if the drivetrain is in serviceable order, you will have trouble overtaking the Amish on rural roads.

For $500? Sure.

You kidding? Those things have quite a following. I'd say he could get his asking price in a heartbeat.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


According to my phone logs, I called this number 23 times in the hour I was tracking this. I found the listing 40 minutes after it was posted, which I'd imagine was 39 minutes too late. By the time I started calling his phone was turned off and his voicemail was full.

I want a loving cannon.

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


The mysterious haunted GM Replacement Strut: http://orlando.craigslist.org/pts/686894097.html

quote:

Haunted GM Rear Replacement Strut - $15 (UCF area)

Reply to: sale-xxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-19, 3:11PM EDT


If you are easily frightened, this is not the GM rear replacement strut for you. I take no responsibility for eerie goings-on as a result of you reading this ad or actually buying the GM rear replacement strut.

Sorry, my lawyer suggested I put that in the ad. Here's the story: my uncle was a collector of rare antiquities from around the world. He passed away recently, and I have been going through his collection selling off interesting pieces. His journal entries about this rear replacement strut indicate he was in the mysterious jungles of Flint, Michigan when he came across the ruins of a temple. Upon entering, he found evidence of a primitive civilization which worshipped a 1996 Buick Park Avenue as their god. He does not tell why he took the rear replacement strut; perhaps as a souvenir, perhaps for further research at his university... we can only speculate.

I found this buried deep inside his warehouse with no corresponding catalog entry. The cryptic hieroglyphs on the outside of the box indicate it was originally manufactured by Tenneco Automotive and is intended to replace rear struts in larger GM vehicles manufactured in the early-to-middle '90s.

Now, when I opened the box to further examine the strange relic, a ghost emerged from the box. I managed to take a picture of the spectre before it sighted my portrait of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, upon which it shrieked with a voice that seemed to come from within my own head and vanished, leaving only a faint odor of new car and the rear replacement strut itself.

I have attached two photos of the rear replacement strut, the first taken shortly after my encounter with the ghastly manifestation of the dead, so excuse the blurry quality. After a stiff belt of whiskey to steady my hand (and nerves) I took a second, less-blurry picture. I have also attached a picture of the horriffic spirit which torments me still. Also, there's a really hot broad who will totally come "bust your ghosts" if you know what I mean (I mean she will rid your domicile of hauntings for a modest fee).

Uncle Finnegan's untimely passing has left the family wanting for money, and we are just trying to make some extra money by selling a haunted rear replacement strut at a reduced rate. And if you don't need a single rear replacement strut for your mid-'90s GM vehicle, it would probably make a pretty wicked water pipe.

Email above or call 407-xxx-xxxx and ask for Neil.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


This guy is quite a charmer...

http://orlando.craigslist.org/car/697490221.html

quote:

77 camaro type lt. - $2500 (fern park)

Reply to: sale-697490221@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-27, 7:46PM EDT


listen up fools. here is your shot. car was parked for two years. has a mild 350 with headers, hei,(if you don't know what that is you should be dipped in hogshit) dual exhaust, new starter, fuel pump, oil pan gasket, oil and filter. new front calipers. stall converter and shift kit in the tranny. i believe it's got a posi rear end. i got it from my father who was letting it go to waste. heavy rust in rear quarters, front fenders and driver's side floor (it's been glassed, lovely job). needs complete resto, but it will lite the tires up, even with lovely gas in the tank. needs a tune up. have ac compressor for it. you will never ever, be able to put together a car for this cheap. i just dipped the edelbrock carb in solution for cleaning. car is running. can be driven. hate to let it go, but such is life. call 407-756-xxxx. thanks

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Admittedly this is not car related, but I thought that everyone would be interested in what showed up in the Orlando Craigslist furniture section today...

http://orlando.craigslist.org/fur/701142478.html

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Daddy Fantastic posted:

That's weird, actually, I didn't think it would be flagged. It was $3,700, definitely did not not look like spam.

It was a scam post, the real thing is worth (and would sell for) significantly more than $3,700.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


san_dingo posted:

Yes, they are. I don't know exactly how much one would cost, but here's one listed with "inquire" (a.k.a. "If you gotta ask, you can't afford it!") as the price:

http://www.oldride.com/sports_cars/674182.html

Exactly. I'd snap one up in a heartbeat for $3700, though... I'd use it to freak out the squares in town!

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!



HOL-EY GODDAMN I'm about as disturbed as a human being could be. Jesus Christ.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Leninboarrir posted:

Craigslist doesn't let you make identical posts in different geographical regions (i.e; South Jersey, Central Jersey, North Jersey, etc), so he probably put the white text to throw off the filter.

I have to say, though, what he's written is loving bizarre. He could have just explained what the text meant instead of psyducking potential customers.

I don't know how long it's going to take people to realize that weird, unrelated text, either in e-mail or craigslist, is an indicator of a scam post by people that do mass postings.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!



With his logic, the power window motors are also precursors to the hybrid.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Uhh...

http://orlando.craigslist.org/clo/879772821.html

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Bampalo posted:

Just found this on ebay under a search for Subaru.

The "Thunderstorm" I don't really know what to say or think about it.

http://tinyurl.com/584ggs


Click here for the full 800x600 image.


Wow, that thing is incredibly well done... or an incredible waste of time. Either way, I'd drive it.

madattheinternet fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Oct 27, 2008

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Also, obligatory AI car picture with dog in it...

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


I'm having a really hard time figuring out what prize this car could have possibly won.
http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/953224958.html

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Behold! The divine drivetrain!

http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/1010171104.html

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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Toucan Sam posted:

It's a 305 carbed '87 in the original yellow, '87 is the last year for that color so it will probably stay. I already picked up all the parts to fix it up also. I got doors, suspension, fenders, Harwood 4" cowl hood, Iroc nose, and lower front ground effect.

Where are the louvers for the rear window?

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


wintermuteCF posted:

But what's the scam? Is it a stolen car? Are they handing over a fake title and then getting it repo'd? Are they hoping someone is daft enough to hand over financial data? How does the scammer get his money?

All of the above. People are dumb.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


keykey posted:

If I had 2500 to drop on a vehicle, I'd definitely get an 82 accord.

I louve the louvers.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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TractionControl posted:

1991 M3? $5k?! SOLD!


Click here for the full 886x552 image.


Just because it has an M3 badge on the decklid it is not an M3. Also not worth even $1500 in "needs some TLC" condition.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Poor thing was red once.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


BossTweed posted:

Antisemetic Chevy seller

He would have much better luck with this if he posted it on a Friday night.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


MrKatharsis posted:

What is it with people in North Florida thinking that a paint job makes their beat-rear end truck worth as much as a new one?

http://gainesville.craigslist.org/cto/1147268651.html



That's a little more than new paint, it looks really clean and completely restored. Maybe it's not worth $10,000 but it's obviously more than just a "beat-rear end truck" with a coat of krylon.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


When I clicked on the listing:
code:
***FORD / TRANNEY*** - $250 (orlando fl.)
I thought "boy, this guy can't spell tranny" then I realized he couldn't spell anything.

http://orlando.craigslist.org/pts/1377114417.html

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


What the hell is this guy talking about?

http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/1386157137.html

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


The Third Man posted:

The trophies really seal the deal for me

I bet they were awarded at bowling tournaments and pie-eating competitions.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


You Am I posted:

How does he open the door from the inside? Put on some heavy bass techno?

It's probably had the latches and handles removed for weight reduction. The doors are just held shut by the magnets in the speakers

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Pompous Rhombus posted:




Funny the guys that stole his bike came all the way from Spain to do so.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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VideoTapir posted:

Is this a crash repair with the repairer unable to source the Saab parts? That's the only possible reason I can think of for this besides stupidity.

Considering the only Subaru parts are the front end and airbag cover, I'm gonna say it's a crash repair. The worst part is that it was probably rebuilt like that on purpose by the owner. Maybe they bought it wrecked and decided to be different.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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Mr. Apollo posted:

So he doesn't what to buy a car from a "socialist, commie, liberal" yet he's shopping for European cars?

At least that European car was built in South Carolina.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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Not for you, not enough iron oxide. Keep looking.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


Shameless self promotion:

quote:

History:
History:
I bought this car in February as a project/daily driver/work truck to haul some stuff that I was hoarding in my then fiance's mom's house in Orlando to the house we bought in Atlanta where I'm currently hoarding the stuff (but not living, I'm still in my now-wife's mom's house). In the time I've owned it I have done virtually nothing to it except for drive it and initially ignore, but eventually appreciate all of the charm it had to offer. I stopped calling it an SUV and started referring to it as a "truck" so that people I talked to that were manlier than I am would think that I wasn't a sissy. I thought maybe I'd make some friends that wore flannel, chewed tobacco and drank beer that cost $10 for an 18-pack--I guess I thought that they would take pity on me and teach how to ride a bull. It didn't work and now I'm buying a Civic and ordering a subscription to Sport Compact Car so I can hopefully make friends with people in that scene.

Features:
190,000 miles but odometer and speedometer read 15-30% higher than they should so it's got less miles and you'll never get caught speeding. If you buy the truck for my asking price, I'll throw in an entry-level TomTom Go 100 that's missing the suction cup thing to hold it to the windshield so you'll have to velcro it to something. I've used it as a speedometer since I bought this wretched piece of shi--I mean awesome cool ride.

Engine and transmission are in good shape with lots of life in the clutch, brakes, engine and rear end. Practically indestructible and decent power if you've got a lead foot. If you've got an aluminum foot you'll probably need to glue some heavy ball bearings to it.

Cool special edition extras like WORKING check engine light that stays lit all the time. I think it's really pretty and consider it a dashboard decoration but you might want to put a piece of electrical tape over it or, better yet, fix the EGR valve or sensor that keeps making it turn on.

Four good tires, three of them even match! All of them are the same size, though. No spare because someone installed a ridiculous dual exhaust that makes it impossible to store the spare under the car where it should be.

Awesome dual exhaust system that really makes this little truck sound mean! The truck is also faster because of a sophisticated weight reduction procedure that involved removing the spare tire.

Warm air intake installed under the hood. It's a K&N knock off cone filter that sounds pretty badass when you're accelerating and even more badass when the truck is too!

This truck features FRONT SEATS and BACK SEATS that aren't completely destroyed!!! What a bonus!

Working A/C that blows ICE COLD for three to four days at a time! Recharge hose and half-used can of R-134A included with purchase!

Tinted power windows and tinted non-power windows! Power windows work because I rebuilt the motors about 4 months ago and almost lost my finger while doing so! Awesome for when the A/C charge wears off or when you need to yell obscenities at passers by.

Tow ball installed in the rear bumper but no trailer hook-up wires. It won't do much for you because the rear bumpers on these trucks are notoriously weak and you won't have lights or turn signals on your trailer. Hell, U-Haul won't even rent you a trailer because of the fact that a bunch of loudmouths about 10 years ago made a big stink about the fact that their Firestone tires would explode causing their trucks to crash. What a bunch of whiners. I guess if you wanted to you could tie your dog to the hitch when you stop for picnics but make sure you put the dog back in the car before leaving. I'd hate to be even partially responsible for the injury or death of someone's dog because I suggested such a thing. On second thought, don't do this. Your dog will probably ruin the picnic anyway by bringing you a squirrel carcass and then eating your food when you leave to dispose of the carcass elsewhere. Stupid dogs.

WINDSHIELD WIPERS ON THE FRONT AND BACK WINDOWS! WOW!

WASHER FLUID SPRAYERS ON FRONT AND BACK WINDOWS! HOLY CRAP!

CD Player and at least two functional speakers GUARANTEED! Also you've got RCAs and power wires running to the back for the hooking up of stereo equipment or Warn winches, whichever floats (or drags) your boat.

Three mirrors for your rear viewing pleasure.

At least one gallon of gas for the ride home provided that your ride home is 15 or so miles away. I'll throw in one of those emergency 1 gallon gas cans that you buy at gas stations for like $9 that have idiotic safety valves that never open causing you to spill half of the gas on the ground when you try to pour the gas into the car. I tell you what, you'll never play the "how far can I get with the gas light on" game again that late at night in that part of town.

But that's not all, this gem also includes a number of other minor, character-building issues that I've either forgotten or am unwilling to disclose until the clean, current, Florida title has been exchanged for ten $100 bills, twenty $50 bills, fifty $20 bills or any combination of the aforementioned denominations of US currency. No habla Espanol but I do speak limited Yiddish and Klingon. Call, text or telepath me at XXXXXXXXXXX and ask for Detective Jack Reynolds. That's not my name but it sounds really cool and I'd like to be called that at least once in my life.

I don't have an actual picture of the truck handy because I don't have a camera/lost my transfer cable/can't be arsed to take one so I've included some reference shots taken by other photographers. I'm not gonna lie, much like myself, this truck isn't much to look at. Its condition is somewhere between the condition of the two vehicles pictured below:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

madattheinternet fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Jul 13, 2013

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


sacre posted:

edit: too many words

Yeah, definitely lots of words. I probably wouldn't have read the whole thing if I hadn't written it myself. I was getting calls at 1:30 AM and texts all morning from people on craigslist telling me that it was hilarious and they'd give me a grand even though they didn't need a vehicle because they were so entertained. I think I tried a little too hard but if someone smiled I'm happy. Also I want someone to buy it.

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


KozmoNaut posted:

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sf...1919195681.html



Someone needs to buy this. Right. Now.

If he cuts his price by 50% he might have some luck finding a buyer. "Rolling body" sounds to me like "stripped bucket of bolts" and who knows what's going on with the rest of the package. It sounds like this guy bought everything for way more than he should have, tore the car apart to prep for the swap and then realized it would never, ever be completed. I'd stay far away.

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madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

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krysmopompas posted:

Want a JDM-tyte prom? The next epic bosozoku project? Price is a bit high though...

I like it a lot for a Sebring camping car and if it were 3 grand, I'd probably be packing a road trip bag right now.

Edit: More pics from Mecum: http://mecum.com/auctions/lot_detai...ID=SC0509-78927

madattheinternet fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Dec 30, 2010

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