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Wiggy Marie
Jan 16, 2006

No one can see me! Teehee!

Lipstick Apathy

Early July wedding here. We moved everything back to the same month and day but 2021. All of our vendors were awesome about the change, and I have one less major stress off me during this time.

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Guy Axlerod
Dec 29, 2008


My brother got married over zoom yesterday. He and his wife, and her parents and sister were there. They are all staying together for now, nobody went anywhere. But the officiant, and the rest of the wedding party were watching online.

The officiant was saying a few words about traditions in older times when a couple would commit to make their marriage official the next time a traveling clergyman visited. Since they can't get a wedding license now, that's basically what they're doing.

They have postponed their reception to the fall, but I think that might be a bit optimistic at this point.

snailshell
Aug 26, 2010

I LOVE BIG WET CROROCDILE PUSSYT


We were supposed to have our reception in mid-May (still getting legally married on that day). Am I a fool for thinking that August will be okay to reschedule the big party?

Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


snailshell posted:

We were supposed to have our reception in mid-May (still getting legally married on that day). Am I a fool for thinking that August will be okay to reschedule the big party?

I'd be cautious to commit to anything right now, seeing as people with July/August weddings are already postponing or thinking about postponing their weddings.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





This site mostly checks out with what I've been seeing. There's a drop down for your specific state, so you can sort of see where the peak is going to be for your area and make a projection for yourself based on that data.

https://covid19.healthdata.org/projections

Here is texas, for example:



TL;DR definitely would not pick anything before middle of August, probably late September in reality. Late October and November are looking really good.

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




I foresee a majority of my wedding work cancelled for the year. I've already had three late-June weddings cancel. I'm returning deposits but I also only ask for a few hundred dollars down. Compare that to photographers who may expect to live on 50% deposits paid last year...it's looking grim. I picked this year to retire from large event work so I'm not too worried, however it basically torches my supplementary income. Vendors who rely on wedding and other large event work as their whole paycheck are likely super stressed. A venue manager I have worked with closely over the years says it's going to take a year or two to recover from the disruption in revenue.

I hope everyone is doing well. If you are in Colorado and have any questions or need some help, feel free to let me know.

Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


Hadlock posted:

This site mostly checks out with what I've been seeing. There's a drop down for your specific state, so you can sort of see where the peak is going to be for your area and make a projection for yourself based on that data.

https://covid19.healthdata.org/projections

Here is texas, for example:



TL;DR definitely would not pick anything before middle of August, probably late September in reality. Late October and November are looking really good.

Which is strange, because I was hearing it's going to get bad again in the fall. We don't have that much info though. Our wedding is mid-July, so it looks like after it will calm down here but barely afterward.



I feel bad for vendors right now, but postponing the wedding takes up a weekend next year, so it seems like a bad deal for them either way...just slightly better to have secured business now. We've paid off more than half of our venue, our catering is pretty flexible, and we have a deposit down on a photographer. We were told by the venue when we signed in July 2019 that they will let you change the date, but I'm not sure the cut-off and that was a different world back then.

Water Resistant
Jul 10, 2003


snailshell posted:

We were supposed to have our reception in mid-May (still getting legally married on that day). Am I a fool for thinking that August will be okay to reschedule the big party?

We'll probably be in this mess until a vaccine is available 18 to 24 months from now, so even summer 2021 seems iffy to me. We'll probably have to reschedule for May 2021 based on the "within a year" rescheduling clauses in our contracts, but I'm not feeling super confident on that. But who knows...

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin

Add us to the list of people who will be postponing. We were set for mid July. We're at the point where we are wondering if we ask for deposits back or just ask that we keep our bookings (hair, venue, make up, etc) for x date in the future

I hope we don't eat our wedding savings in an upcoming recession

Killingyouguy!
Sep 8, 2014



Curious what people think:

I'd always heard that the cake cutting was the signal to people that it's now okay to leave whenever you want, because the party might go long into the night.

However, I've just read that the proper etiquette is that the married couple must be the first ones to leave the reception, so that the guests may see them off and cheer etc.

I would want my reception to go pretty late, so is there any way to politely communicate that we're following the former model (ie not just saying 'it's cool to leave if you want now!')? Or are we just stuck leaving early to satisfy anyone who might expect the latter and would be disappointed to leave without getting to cheer for us?

Zaftig
Jan 21, 2008

It's infectious


I think most people assume it's cool to leave after the dancing starts. Our guests just started slowly filtering out once they had dessert, which worked for me. I wouldn't assume there's a send-off unless explicitly told to stay for it ahead of time.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


Oooh thatís a good point cause I was hoping to have a sparkler send off for mine and that would look real lame with like 4 people.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





I think if people stick around after dessert that's neat. Generally there's a couple of comments, speeches, toasts before/during/after cake cutting, all the old people who have been waiting to leave, leave. All the people with young kids leave.

The couples and single people people who were waiting to drink and dance and find someone to hook up with will probably close out the venue

Our venue was way the hell up in the mountains and with an open bar so we just had two buses to take people home, which meant everyone had to stay until we left. Due to reasons we couldn't afford a third "early bird" bus so everyone had to stick around. Our venue had a hard 10:30pm cutoff so it was sort of an ok compromise to hold everyone hostage.

The 15 or so people that drove themselves, probably left earlier than the busses. We had extensive notes in the invitations, website, and supplimental emails about the bus situation so people could plan ahead.

For my cousin's wedding I had the flu, bad, so I stuck though the ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner but left before toasts.

I think it's rude to leave before dinner is over, for any reason, but other than that it's up to the couple to communicate expectations, so long as there's not anything super unreasonable. We knew there were gonna be a lot of old people with early flights the next day so we wanted people to drive themselves if 10:30 was too late for them. Brides mother made a lot of calls to clarify this point with out of town guests.

Hadlock fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Apr 7, 2020

smackfu
Jun 7, 2004



quote:

However, I've just read that the proper etiquette is that the married couple must be the first ones to leave the receptions
Maybe 20-30 years ago, but not a thing anymore.

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




Professor Shark posted:

Add us to the list of people who will be postponing. We were set for mid July. We're at the point where we are wondering if we ask for deposits back or just ask that we keep our bookings (hair, venue, make up, etc) for x date in the future

I hope we don't eat our wedding savings in an upcoming recession

Ask them for your deposit back if you cannot reschedule. Worth a shot.

Mollymauk
Apr 20, 2006


Does anyone have any other site suggestions for non-traditional rings. Many of the ones in the OP are no longer working and I am looking to get a watermelon tourmaline engagement ring. Alternatively does anyone have experience with GemCity Gems, they are all over Etsy and Ebay and would be in my price range of up to around $1500.

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


Two sites that I really like that tend to have a variety of non traditional stones are Staghead Jewelers and Capucinne. My friend has an incredible bicolor sapphire from Staghead.

Mollymauk
Apr 20, 2006


DogoDogo posted:

Two sites that I really like that tend to have a variety of non traditional stones are Staghead Jewelers and Capucinne. My friend has an incredible bicolor sapphire from Staghead.

Thanks, I'll give them a look!

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin

Rescheduling things for our wedding has actually gone quite easily... except for our DJ. The company responded by asking us to review their new COVID-19 policy, which states that deposits will be honoured for any future dates in 2021 except on Saturdays, which will require a new deposit.

Our wedding is on a Saturday.

To me this sounds like they are pushing people to book on days that are less commonly booked, knowing that they will book the Saturday and get to keep the deposit if not. Is this common in the industry? What are our options here?

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


Wiggy Marie posted:

Early July wedding here. We moved everything back to the same month and day but 2021. All of our vendors were awesome about the change, and I have one less major stress off me during this time.

We did the same thing with our late June wedding!

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




Professor Shark posted:

Rescheduling things for our wedding has actually gone quite easily... except for our DJ. The company responded by asking us to review their new COVID-19 policy, which states that deposits will be honoured for any future dates in 2021 except on Saturdays, which will require a new deposit.

Our wedding is on a Saturday.

To me this sounds like they are pushing people to book on days that are less commonly booked, knowing that they will book the Saturday and get to keep the deposit if not. Is this common in the industry? What are our options here?

Wedding DJ here. Iíve returned all deposits for cancellations. This poo poo is rocking the industry hard this year and producing a ripple effect for 2021. My contract states that the deposit is non-refundable, but with clients going through the hell of rescheduling their wedding day? I donít want that bad karma on my books.

I think they are being dumb. Hopefully they didnít ask for too much of a deposit as it sounds like they are sticklers for their contract terms.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin

$250 CAD

Any opinion or theory you can offer on the ďSaturday doesnít countĒ policy?

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




Professor Shark posted:

$250 CAD

Any opinion or theory you can offer on the ďSaturday doesnít countĒ policy?

Luckily that's not brutal - I mean, its $250, but nothing like a 50% photographer deposit that I commonly see.

They want the best of both worlds: guaranteed income plus an easier time booking off-days the following year. If they can encourage their client base to move their weddings to Fridays or Sundays (which will stay available further out than Saturdays) then they just got paid for their own marketing efforts. I think it's bad PR for them - not that it will ever see any meaningful light of day - but it doesn't really scream confidence in themselves if they are gaming contracts for a few hundred dollars.

On the flip side? I think it's pretty accurate to call it a "booking fee" depending on the wedding size. I routinely request $200 to $500 deposit on events. I also provide in-person client consults, demo'd and custom music arrangements (I'm also a ceremony guitarist), planning for the day, etc. - the "non-refundable" part of the deposit basically covers the planning work to date. I think it depends on the vendor, too. Venues, caterers, planners, decorators, photographers, musicians, DJ's - we all have different levels of effort and flexibility in booking. I can rebook a bar gig a month out and make less money but am net positive. If a venue has a cancellation a month out? They can't scale down to fit a smaller short-notice booking, especially if they are a destination spot, so they hurt a lot more.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin

Thanks for the effort post! We emailed the guy, maybe he'll be willing to work with us. If not, I'm content with dropping some negative reviews and considering it a $250 lesson. I feel that we're being reasonable here and someone pulling this on customers may not be someone we want.

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




Professor Shark posted:

Thanks for the effort post! We emailed the guy, maybe he'll be willing to work with us. If not, I'm content with dropping some negative reviews and considering it a $250 lesson. I feel that we're being reasonable here and someone pulling this on customers may not be someone we want.

I totally agree. I actually pulled a line from my first paragraph along the lines of "Give them a spicy email or review if they are going to really gripe." I mean, I guess technically they are correct in enforcing their contract that way, but also this is a once-in-a-century pandemic we are dealing with here. In an industry of helping people celebrate their wedding and kick off their marriage I'd like to think we can hold ourselves to a higher standard of conduct. We're professional partiers, after all.

Good luck! I hope the rest of your vendors are being cool about it.

Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


Mistaken Frisbee posted:

Which is strange, because I was hearing it's going to get bad again in the fall. We don't have that much info though. Our wedding is mid-July, so it looks like after it will calm down here but barely afterward.

I feel bad for vendors right now, but postponing the wedding takes up a weekend next year, so it seems like a bad deal for them either way...just slightly better to have secured business now. We've paid off more than half of our venue, our catering is pretty flexible, and we have a deposit down on a photographer. We were told by the venue when we signed in July 2019 that they will let you change the date, but I'm not sure the cut-off and that was a different world back then.

Update: Our venue let people with weddings in April and early May postpone, but is telling us that they're moving forward with July 2020 weddings because the Texas governor is now allowing weddings as of next week. I haven't seen any medical evidence that Texas will be safer by July, but it looks like I may just either have to have a wedding in a near empty venue or forfeit $6,000 I paid for the venue just to never have my wedding.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013

shitty freeloader friend


So far all our vendors are still good for October and the venue's telling us we're good to go. Hopefully everything will be...well, manageable, by October. We'll see what happens.

God this poo poo is stressful enough as it is.

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




I'm on the phone with a client right now. Moved their June 20th to August which luckily I can do. Had another client today move their wedding to 2021 which I can't do, so that's a drag. I also had a major yearly concert get cancelled today.

More time to practice. Hope everyone is doing as well as possible amidst all the uncertainty.

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.




So we keep having to put the wedding back, and honestly we might go get married in Vegas by an Elvis when stuff opens again. I'm tired of planning and planning. Might just get married then come back and do a reception. Anyone here have advice for potential elopers?

Wiggy Marie
Jan 16, 2006

No one can see me! Teehee!

Lipstick Apathy

Mistaken Frisbee posted:

Update: Our venue let people with weddings in April and early May postpone, but is telling us that they're moving forward with July 2020 weddings because the Texas governor is now allowing weddings as of next week. I haven't seen any medical evidence that Texas will be safer by July, but it looks like I may just either have to have a wedding in a near empty venue or forfeit $6,000 I paid for the venue just to never have my wedding.

That sucks. It's ample time for a switch regardless, would they not honor a date switch with nearly two months notice? Blarg. I hope y'all stay safe.

Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


Wiggy Marie posted:

That sucks. It's ample time for a switch regardless, would they not honor a date switch with nearly two months notice? Blarg. I hope y'all stay safe.

It's not that we waited to ask - when we contacted them last month, they said they wouldn't talk about postponing July weddings until early May. They were only recheduling April and May weddings.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


We're actually thinking of moving the wedding up. The Fiance's parents and family wont be able to come over from India for awhile, I don't want to expose any members of my family to this awfulness, so we are not having any kind of party till there's a vaccine or herd immunity (lol). We hadn't put any money down on anything, so we're just going to get a courthouse date in june, invite two nearby friends to witness and hold the phone, and stream the wedding on Youtube. This way we're legally married in case any unpleasantness occurs wrt hospitals or kicking people out of the country.

We were hoping to move south to Florida this or next year, so we'll just have a big housewarming party / family reunion / makeup wedding then. I think 'sorry we missed ya' parties and reunions are going to be a well accepted thing in the future.

Crazyweasel
Oct 29, 2006
lazy

Iím the best man for a wedding many states away in July. Dreading that I need to phone him up and cancel. He is an old friend and we donít speak often enough to have felt this out together since COVID blew up. Iím a new father and I just canít justify the risk at this time...

I mean everyone has to know itís a complete crapshoot for like the rest of the year, right? I still feel like an rear end in a top hat...

Crazyweasel fucked around with this message at 03:51 on May 11, 2020

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





Crazyweasel posted:

Iím the best man for a wedding many states away in July. Dreading that I need to phone him up and cancel. He is an old friend and we donít speak often enough to have felt this out together since COVID blew up. Iím a new father and I just canít justify the risk at this time...

I mean everyone has to know itís a complete crapshoot for like the rest of the year, right? I still feel like an rear end in a top hat...

Weddings are #1 place to pick up coronavirus after hair and nail salons, as a new dad I don't blame you one bit for cancelling. I'm sure you won't be the first nor the last person to cancel, don't worry about it too much. Send them a really really nice gift with a handwritten letter though.

Cliff
Nov 11, 2008



Our wedding is in September. Even if the restaurant is allowed to open and host an event, our state will surely still have social distancing guidelines still in place. People will be cautious until there is a vaccine. We won't have dancing, family photos, close dining, hugs, or anything that makes a great wedding reception. We are thinking that we will have to postpone but how long is long enough? Next May? Next September? 2022? I know "can't throw party" is really low on the list of inconveniences brought by covid but it's something I have to be sad about for a bit.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013

shitty freeloader friend


you're the best man and you and the groom haven't talked about this because you dont talk a lot?

Crazyweasel
Oct 29, 2006
lazy

Thumbtacks posted:

you're the best man and you and the groom haven't talked about this because you dont talk a lot?

Yea, in retrospect Its been an awkward experience. Heís been moving around for 7 or 8 years and Iím back in the hometown. Iíd see him once or twice a year but we hit that ďmoving on from our friendshipĒ stage right when he called me up as his oldest friend to ask and I said yes because I thought itíd be like old times. Long story short I think we both ended up with brutally low expectations of the arrangement and never picked up our friendship, and now the one thing he told me he was hoping for (I make it out to celebrate and give a speech) I wonít be able to do.

To maybe provide some value to the thread, for the above poster asking about delaying, history has shown pandemics have a second wave, so I would think this could really have a wave in Fall/Winter that will put people on edge into Spring of 2021.If you were more or less ok with a long delay, I think Fall Ď21 would be when weíd start to see some major jumps on overall ďlife back to normalĒ.

Crazyweasel fucked around with this message at 18:37 on May 11, 2020

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




As of this morning Iím officially off-duty until September. Two postponements and a cancellation by lunch.

I ordered a bunch of microphone windscreens that Iíll be able to hopefully deploy later this year to keep things sanitary. At least I found out before ordering dated GOBOís for the season as that would have been a financial bruising.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


Crazyweasel posted:

To maybe provide some value to the thread, for the above poster asking about delaying, history has shown pandemics have a second wave, so I would think this could really have a wave in Fall/Winter that will put people on edge into Spring of 2021.If you were more or less ok with a long delay, I think Fall Ď21 would be when weíd start to see some major jumps on overall ďlife back to normalĒ.

This makes me super glad I paid a bunch of deposits and locked in my Oct 2021 date with the things that were important to me (venue, DJ, makeup artist, catering)

My wedding dress is paid off and Iím super excited 💕 I didnít mean to go in and get it so early. I was just trying to narrow down some styles that did/didnít look good on me and they put this one on me and I just looooooved it. They threw in 10% off if I got it then so I decided to go for it.
What makes me nervous is that because of everything all Davidís Bridals are closed (I know a lot of people are salty on them but Iíve always had good experiences, I didnít have to pay extra to get a bigger dress that actually fit my boobs, and with my bridesmaids being about 2+ hours apart from the 2 furthest out ones, it would be best option for everyone to be able to access one close to them.)
Because theyíre closed the dress is being shipped to me for free. My area is low crime and Iím near the end of a cul-de-sac so a lot of traffic this way is only people who are supposed to be this way, but Iím still nervous about my wedding dress being shipped and risking it disappear. We got a ring doorbell to help dissuade any sticky fingers. But Iíve never had anything this big/important/expensive shipped to me so itís stressing me out a bit.

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Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


Cliff posted:

Our wedding is in September. Even if the restaurant is allowed to open and host an event, our state will surely still have social distancing guidelines still in place. People will be cautious until there is a vaccine. We won't have dancing, family photos, close dining, hugs, or anything that makes a great wedding reception. We are thinking that we will have to postpone but how long is long enough? Next May? Next September? 2022? I know "can't throw party" is really low on the list of inconveniences brought by covid but it's something I have to be sad about for a bit.

It's a huge deal to lose out on. It's a major life milestone, it's probably occupied a lot of space in your mind for a long time, and now you're trying to figure out a stressful event that requires a lot of decision-making during a time when there's no certainty.

We finally spoke to our venue today, and it looks like we might keep our original wedding date of July 11, 2020. We had booked the venue for the weekend Thursday until Sunday at noon, and had paid off half the contract. With the new contract, we'd only be there on Saturday and check out on Sunday, but we wouldn't have to pay the rest of the contract. This means our venue will have cost us $2759 instead of twice that. They could have legally kept us to the original contract, so I appreciate them on this.

We'll probably whittle our wedding from 100 people down to fewer than 20 people. I'm still really nervous about having a wedding right now, but with all of the uncertainty around the future, it's hard to feel good about any future dates. We've been engaged for two years, together for four years, and we're ready to settle down and start planning for a family. Delaying the wedding for another year because it will probably, but not certainly, be safer in a year...is a lot. Our venue made the argument that since the fall is predicted to be worse, we might be better off getting it over with this summer when it's slightly less dangerous.

It feels reckless to have anything right now, but we're going to try to figure out how to do this as safely as possible.

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