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Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


i'll be honest if they offered me the same contract for half the price but we'd have to move it, gently caress yeah i'd do that. i'd get the paperwork signed on the original day so that's still the anniversary and then have more of a celebration type thing on whatever day they move us to

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Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


Thumbtacks posted:

i'll be honest if they offered me the same contract for half the price but we'd have to move it, gently caress yeah i'd do that. i'd get the paperwork signed on the original day so that's still the anniversary and then have more of a celebration type thing on whatever day they move us to

We didn't move it so much as we're just staying at the venue for two fewer days (it was a weekend getaway type place). Normally though, you can't book a Saturday-only, so this is purely because they probably didn't want us to reschedule and take up a slot for the next day. We were looking forward to having the venue for longer and spending time together, but it's not really a great idea now.

So we are having a pandemic wedding for sure now. We're trying to figure out the safest way to do this, while knowing nothing about this situation is completely safe. There's not a lot of guidance out there, from government or internet, and both our venue and day of coordinator seem to be learning as they go along.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


Iím looking for a really good strapless bra. Iím a 46F so Iím wondering if I should just get a corset kind of deal for under my wedding dress or would a bra work?

KasioDiscoRock
Nov 17, 2000

Are you alive?

CeramicPig posted:

Iím looking for a really good strapless bra. Iím a 46F so Iím wondering if I should just get a corset kind of deal for under my wedding dress or would a bra work?

Do you have a dress already? I donít have suggestions for a bra but I know when I was dress shopping I was convinced I wouldnít be able to wear anything strapless (at 34G) and refused to even try any on at first. When I finally did, I was shocked that the corsets built into the dresses were sufficient to be able to go braless.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


I do have the dress. I donít think thereís a built in corset though. I have it safely at my dads so Iíll have to double check next time Iím there

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Our DJ responded back to us via email and said that there would be no need of additional deposit money and they removed the link that went into detail about their COVID policy and replaced it with a blanket "All deposits will be honored!" statement lol

ElScorcho
May 8, 2008

Horse.


CeramicPig posted:

I do have the dress. I donít think thereís a built in corset though. I have it safely at my dads so Iíll have to double check next time Iím there

Does the dress have boning even if it doesnít have an actual built-in corset? Iím not quite as large on top (I was probably around a 36DD when I got married) but once my dress was altered the boning was enough to hold everything in place.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


CeramicPig posted:

I’m looking for a really good strapless bra. I’m a 46F so I’m wondering if I should just get a corset kind of deal for under my wedding dress or would a bra work?

Check Lane Bryant / Cacique. They have very comfortable bras and shapewear. And the world's most comfortable women's jeans ever.

19 o'clock
Sep 9, 2004

All is Pipe




Professor Shark posted:

Our DJ responded back to us via email and said that there would be no need of additional deposit money and they removed the link that went into detail about their COVID policy and replaced it with a blanket "All deposits will be honored!" statement lol

Good! Happy to hear they wised up and became a lot more cool.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


Itís starting to look like weíll have to move ours, San Diego county is really cracking down so it might not even be a choice, we might be forced to do it. Luckily every vendor contract has a pandemic/epidemic clause so we shouldnít lose money, but still.

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009

Cat Army


Hey marrieds (and pros), how long did it take you to get your photos and videos back? Our photographer was just a little past the due date per the contract (and probably rushed, as there was a lot of weird editing--lots of attention paid to multiples of a certain shot, some super obvious missed edits), but our videographer, who had a generous 8-months timeframe in the contract, is now going on 10 months. We were at first concerned he'd lost our footage, but he managed to get us a teaser video, so at least he still has some footage. But 10 months for a 1-minute teaser is excessive, right? At this rate we may not even be able to see our footage on our first anniversary.

We try not to be Karens (and we really like his work and trust him otherwise), so we didn't utter a word before the 8-month mark, but now we're checking in with him multiple times a week. Sometimes we get a response, sometimes not. Is this normal?

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


ask him for the raw footage

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009

Cat Army


Thumbtacks posted:

ask him for the raw footage

I did. Ignored. He finally responded to a follow-up text. That's how we got the teaser.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


Push for it again, check your contract and see if thereís anything about when itís supposed to be delivered. Can always take him to court or something if you have to

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009

Cat Army


Yeah, that's definitely an option. He was recommended to me by a close friend who's in his industry, so I may get her involved if I have to. I'd prefer not to, of course. I know covid complicates things, but he should've had this done before it became an issue.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


there's no reason to not give you the raw footage, unless it's in your contract that he owns it it should be legally yours assuming he's already been paid

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

Maggie Fletcher posted:

Hey marrieds (and pros), how long did it take you to get your photos and videos back? Our photographer was just a little past the due date per the contract (and probably rushed, as there was a lot of weird editing--lots of attention paid to multiples of a certain shot, some super obvious missed edits), but our videographer, who had a generous 8-months timeframe in the contract, is now going on 10 months. We were at first concerned he'd lost our footage, but he managed to get us a teaser video, so at least he still has some footage. But 10 months for a 1-minute teaser is excessive, right? At this rate we may not even be able to see our footage on our first anniversary.

We try not to be Karens (and we really like his work and trust him otherwise), so we didn't utter a word before the 8-month mark, but now we're checking in with him multiple times a week. Sometimes we get a response, sometimes not. Is this normal?

I'm gonna throw down some somewhat related semi answers to your question. (Married October 2018)

To cut some cost down we had my uncle be our photographer (against our coordinators wishes of hiring family) . He isn't a professional photographer, but he had the proper camera and it was just kinda hobby for him. Plus, even when insisted on paying him he said that this was our gift from him. He took amazing photos and eventually the camera ended up in his sons hands, his daughters, his wifes, and his niece. Those are some of the best worst pictures I've ever seen. They were plastered. Anyway, so we let him work on it (it was free so we could wait) and boom. 2 months later come December what do we get? A hardback photo album of the best pictures of the day as our x-mas gift. It was wonderful. Plus a usb of all the "UNUSED" pictures which were also amazing.

Second story!

My sister did the same thing (she was married in 2010) but instead of our uncle she hired a family members uh families member. My (blood related) uncles wife's nephew. This guy was an actual photographer. Real deal here. Offered wedding packages the whole 9 yards. He was always a cool guy at their family get together, what could go wrong? Wedding day, he was there for the whole thing. The bridesmaids getting makeup done my sister getting into the bitchin' ride to drop her off at the venue, the ceremony, and the reception. He was on it. CLICK CLICK CLICK he must of took hundreds upon hundred of pics throughout the day possibly a thousand. He was paid to do it so he better have, right?

Then? Radio silence. Same situation you're in. "Well it's alot of pictures he's gotta work through right? Plus he's got other gigs going..."

1 year goes by

"Well he was there the whole day! He must be swamped"

2 years

"...uh"

3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10 years. It has literally been 10 years. My sister never received her pictures. I guess the guy had like, a mental crisis or something?? We have no idea...my aunt was pretty livid about it. It made her family look bad and she was just plain embarrassed. Luckily as weddings go, we have plenty of pictures from guest.

SO! If you had a 8 month contract and it's 2 months past the date I would most DEF ask about what's going on. Atleast a progress update. poo poo happens people get busy, life happens. Don't let this get past a year lol

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





Our photographer & videographer both got us initial samples within 4 weeks and they shoot weddings multiple times a week 9/10 months a year.

I think if they are 2 months over a VERY generous 8 month turnaround (wow) you can send them a notice to perform and request the raw files at this point, and then get a full refund if the raws dont arrive. I'd ask for a 50% refund at this point regardless. That's insane. Maybe his mom died or something, but even then they could have paid to hand off the raw files to someone else to touch up and then upload somewhere.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


my fiance's parents will not shut the gently caress up about asking us to postpone our wedding but we've told them repeatedly that we're going to trust what the venue says, and the venue hasn't given us a concrete yes or no yet. they said they'll have an update out for everyone in the next week, and it's like my future in-laws just stop listening at "haven't given us a concrete yes or no". I don't want to yell at them but I get really close to it whenever they bring it up.

Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


Thumbtacks posted:

my fiance's parents will not shut the gently caress up about asking us to postpone our wedding but we've told them repeatedly that we're going to trust what the venue says, and the venue hasn't given us a concrete yes or no yet. they said they'll have an update out for everyone in the next week, and it's like my future in-laws just stop listening at "haven't given us a concrete yes or no". I don't want to yell at them but I get really close to it whenever they bring it up.

I was in that boat back in March/April. Our venue wouldn't talk about rescheduling our July wedding until May, and then Texas reopened so we didn't have a clear no by then. Texas closed some things back up on Thursday, but for now our venue is saying we're still okay for July 11th (one week from now, eep!). We changed our entire wedding to go from 100 people to 20 guests, bought masks, have been aggressively trying to plan for safely eating and social distancing...it's just a whole other level of wedding planning that no wedding guides or wedding experts can help with. We've been super nervous and cautious this whole time, even as folks seemed confused why we wouldn't invite more people or allow other activities since the state was reopening, and now we're getting ultra-alarmed "IT'S BAD NOW, ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS!?" messages from folks.

The uncertainty sucks, because weddings are so dependent on planning with so many moving pieces and you can't really plan with any certainty right now. You always feel at risk of losing deposits, or having to undo whatever you've already worked on. And NO ONE has any real answers. I don't think anything will be better before next summer, which is why we just moved forward with this - expecting Texas to keep getting worse afterward - but you still have to figure out what legal rights you have with contracts depending on where your city/county/state is at with a shutdown. And it still might be possible to plan for a very small wedding for the fall with an abundance of caution.

Weddings are already so much more overwhelming than anyone outside the couple/vendors seems to get - we're now expecting brides/grooms and vendors to now be public health/legal experts too and have immediate answers on how they'll adapt to a constantly changing situation. So I hope your future in-laws can finally understand the stress and give you some space with this. You're under way more stress than you would be even with normal wedding planning.

Wiggy Marie
Jan 16, 2006

Meep!


I'm getting a lot of concerned messages checking in around what would've been our wedding day. We were stressed out worrying about putting our families amd friends in danger, neither of us have regretted the decision to postpone for a year. I appreciate the concern from friends and family though!

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


I donít have a problem moving it and I have some ideas for alternative options but also goddamn people I donít have an answer yet and itís still three months away so give me some loving time

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009

Cat Army


ShortyMR.CAT posted:

I'm gonna throw down some somewhat related semi answers to your question. (Married October 2018)

To cut some cost down we had my uncle be our photographer (against our coordinators wishes of hiring family) . He isn't a professional photographer, but he had the proper camera and it was just kinda hobby for him. Plus, even when insisted on paying him he said that this was our gift from him. He took amazing photos and eventually the camera ended up in his sons hands, his daughters, his wifes, and his niece. Those are some of the best worst pictures I've ever seen. They were plastered. Anyway, so we let him work on it (it was free so we could wait) and boom. 2 months later come December what do we get? A hardback photo album of the best pictures of the day as our x-mas gift. It was wonderful. Plus a usb of all the "UNUSED" pictures which were also amazing.

Second story!

My sister did the same thing (she was married in 2010) but instead of our uncle she hired a family members uh families member. My (blood related) uncles wife's nephew. This guy was an actual photographer. Real deal here. Offered wedding packages the whole 9 yards. He was always a cool guy at their family get together, what could go wrong? Wedding day, he was there for the whole thing. The bridesmaids getting makeup done my sister getting into the bitchin' ride to drop her off at the venue, the ceremony, and the reception. He was on it. CLICK CLICK CLICK he must of took hundreds upon hundred of pics throughout the day possibly a thousand. He was paid to do it so he better have, right?

Then? Radio silence. Same situation you're in. "Well it's alot of pictures he's gotta work through right? Plus he's got other gigs going..."

1 year goes by

"Well he was there the whole day! He must be swamped"

2 years

"...uh"

3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10 years. It has literally been 10 years. My sister never received her pictures. I guess the guy had like, a mental crisis or something?? We have no idea...my aunt was pretty livid about it. It made her family look bad and she was just plain embarrassed. Luckily as weddings go, we have plenty of pictures from guest.

SO! If you had a 8 month contract and it's 2 months past the date I would most DEF ask about what's going on. Atleast a progress update. poo poo happens people get busy, life happens. Don't let this get past a year lol


Hadlock posted:

Our photographer & videographer both got us initial samples within 4 weeks and they shoot weddings multiple times a week 9/10 months a year.

I think if they are 2 months over a VERY generous 8 month turnaround (wow) you can send them a notice to perform and request the raw files at this point, and then get a full refund if the raws dont arrive. I'd ask for a 50% refund at this point regardless. That's insane. Maybe his mom died or something, but even then they could have paid to hand off the raw files to someone else to touch up and then upload somewhere.

You are not wrong. We let a few months go by wondering when we'd get the full video, then reread the contract--oh wow, 8 months? okay, that's a long time, but it's what we agreed to. We started messaging him at the 8 month mark, started getting worried he lost the footage at 9 months, finally got the teaser and some relief he does actually have the footage, now we're texting him every few days. My wife even said last week "it's going on a year now, what gives?" He said he would get us the ceremony by yesterday night (guess what didn't show up?) and everything by Saturday. We'll be texting him reminders on Friday. I am so sick of this.

And I can't quite get my friend involved yet--she was due on the 4th and baby is still squatting, so she's got bigger things on her mind than refereeing between us and the guy she recommended. She's already pissed at him, though (he's a colleague and she learned about the situation at the 8 month mark).

Typically I don't ask my friends and family to do stuff like this for me, because I believe you get what you pay for AND they are my guests, not my staff--but the few freebies we got from friends (cake, entertainment, margarita bar, and day-of logistics) were phenomenal. Except the drag queens not showing up, but that was not a freebie, just a recommendation from a friend, and we of course didn't have to pay since they didn't show up.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


On the plus side, I do know that we can go with our backup plan and do a small ceremony on the original day and then do a bigger reception later, once we can actually let people breathe around each other again. I'm not sure how much extra that will cost, that's going to suck but if it's what we have to do then it's what we have to do.

Also it's starting to feel like our coordinator is ghosting us and I'm getting upset. I'm sure she's super busy but still, answer your loving emails that's what we're paying you for. Hold my hand through this, drat you.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





Thumbtacks posted:

our backup plan and do a small ceremony on the original day and then do a bigger reception later, once we can actually let people breathe around each other again.

We got married last spring, but this seems like the smart plan currently

NZAmoeba
Feb 14, 2005

It turns out it's MAN!


Hair Elf

Getting married this Saturday in the backyard of my in-laws condo, renting a metal arch with flowers and a small table to sign poo poo on. Broadcasting the micro-ceremony over Zoom for viewers both local and international. It'll be 10 people attending total and that's including the officiant. We're getting sushi delivered.

Original venue (a sugar shack in Quebec) will now host our 1 year anniversary party.

I'd really recommend this as an option for those who can do this. And now we get to wear our wedding clothes twice so that's getting extra value from the purchase!

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


NZAmoeba posted:

Getting married this Saturday in the backyard of my in-laws condo, renting a metal arch with flowers and a small table to sign poo poo on. Broadcasting the micro-ceremony over Zoom for viewers both local and international. It'll be 10 people attending total and that's including the officiant. We're getting sushi delivered.

Original venue (a sugar shack in Quebec) will now host our 1 year anniversary party.

I'd really recommend this as an option for those who can do this. And now we get to wear our wedding clothes twice so that's getting extra value from the purchase!

This is almost exactly precisely what we did! Backyard wedding, borrowed a metal arch and put up flowers, 10 people total including officiant and photographer, broadcast on Zoom for close relatives and friends who couldnít be there, ordered delicious food from a favorite local restaurant. Weíll do our previously planned reception at our one year anniversary plus a vow renewal at our church. It worked out beautifully and Iím looking forward to our second annual wedding next year.

Guy Axlerod
Dec 29, 2008


Currently waiting for someone in DC to call me back so we can get a license. They allow you to self-officiate there, seems appropriate. Hopefully we can still drive down to there and find a secluded spot to do a broadcast.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


"You may now kiss the me"

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009

Cat Army


Update: we got our videos back! It's almost our one-year anniversary, but it was worth the wait. The videos are awesome, the cuts are a little choppy in some places but he did some creative cuts like editing out some stupidity like me trying to grab the mic from the officiant and the weird "oh wait-no-oh sorry-okay" that ensued. Overall there's over an hour of final footage split into parts (intro, ceremony, performance, etc.). Our wedding was a bit off-the-wall so it took some creativity to capture everything and have it make sense compared to a traditional wedding and it was handled really well. The only thing we'd have liked is more footage of her family--my family is rather in-your-face and hers is much more camera shy so they got very little footage of them. But they did really well with what they did get.

It was really nice to relive a super fun day and see all the stuff they filmed that we couldn't pay attention to, being the brides and all.

Zaftig
Jan 21, 2008

It's infectious


We didn't get a video but I kind of wish we'd gotten one the ceremony, at least. There were a lot of funny moments because we are not serious people and it would be great to have a record of some of those.

Mistaken Frisbee
Jul 19, 2007


We had our wedding last weekend! 19 attendees, plus photographer, day of coordinator, and us. Masks and social distancing all around. It was still a beautiful day, even though it had to look very different than our plan. Hopefully no one gets sick anyway, but I'm just so relieved to be done with it. We have grainy Facebook live footage, which kind of makes me wish we'd intentionally filmed it, but still cool to have.

A talking coyote
Jan 13, 2020


Anyone have a good resource on getting custom rings and how much it would cost? Or maybe I donít need one?

My mother gave me her rings but weíre not big fans of gold and also my father has baby hands (he doesnít Iím just a great big fat person) so we want to take the stones out of all the bands to transfer to a flashy engagement ring. Itís one decent sized rock and 9 smaller ones.

Iím not sure if we would actually need something custom or if we can just find something with the right amount of sockets and have them resized to fit the stones.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


Any reputable local jeweler will happily give you a quote for custom work. Stay away from big chain stores, they are a rip-off. Prices depend a lot on the metal used and complexity of the work.

There used to be a jeweler on SA, he had a really good thread that taught me a lot.

tk
Dec 10, 2003



Nap Ghost

.

tk fucked around with this message at 07:35 on Nov 12, 2020

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


Basic invite is having a 15% off sale for anyone who wants to save some coin on their stationary. I ordered our save the dates and response cards since I had already designed those (I get bored working nights)
They came in today and I love them 🥰😭

CeramicPig fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Jul 25, 2020

Axqu
Nov 28, 2016

I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says,
I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!


Hello wedding goons. I am, as of today, now planning a wedding. We've been engaged for a while but now I've actually decided to start planning the wedding. Truth be told, I never thought I'd find someone I'd want to marry, but then I met him. Been together 3 years (as of July 1st). I fall in love with him a little more each day. Truth be told I am way WAY more excited for the marriage than the wedding, if that makes sense. Like, yeah, a party is going to be cool, but my favorite part of it is going to be having him as my husband at the end of it. Both of us are incredibly anxious, shy people, BUT we want to have the party for our families to meet each other and join through us and all that cool stuff. It helps that my in-laws are amazing people. Even though a bunch of the individual branches don't get along, they all individually reached out to make me feel welcome. My guy had to work the day of their big family xmas party last year, and they invited me to come alone and spent the time telling me how they wished we lived in NJ for longer so they could get to know me better. And, the only people we're inviting from my side are amazing people too, who love him just as much. So there's a LOT of security there knowing that even if the day itself is a gigantic disaster, it won't be because of family/friend drama and it's not even that hugely important. No matter what, he's still gonna be my husband at the end of it. (holy poo poo that's still so much fun to think about. I get to grow old with this man and marry into his awesome family and bring him into mine. Like jfc i never thought i'd EVER be here.)

We're thinking October 2022. It's incredibly exciting. And terrifying. And overwhelming. I signed up for an account on The Knot to try to figure out what the sugar frosted gently caress a timeline might look like for us, and I'm about 10 seconds from going full budgett's frog and having a complete screaming nervous breakdown. This may be slight hyperbole. Slight hyperbole. I am a high-strung anxious wreck of a person on the best of days (thank you CPTSD), but suddenly starting to plan and execute a plan for our Giant rear end Party is threatening to implode my stupid brain. And all I've done is go "Hey, a timeline is a thing that exists!"

My grandparents own a pretty loving awesome wedding venue with a kickass waterfall to get married in front of and a really cool/unique retro themed reception hall, so we've got one of the major costs taken care of already. My grandparents' venue does reliably fantastic bbq catering, so we might have that nailed down at cost, IF AND ONLY IF my grandparents can promise not to work it-- if not, we'll probably go with food trucks on the lawn. Our event director is lovely and amazing and is a close family friend; if she's willing to help us, I know everything will be 110% amazing. Wedding colors/outfits are planned-- fairly casual wedding, flannels and khakis and dress shoes for the guys, dresses in whatever style as long as they're the right color for the gals. An old buddy of mine from HS has offered to officiate for us as long as we cover her transportation and lodging, which is totally doable. We're gonna do the legal stuff the week before at a courthouse just so she doesn't have to get ordained in our state. "florals" are just gonna be fake autumn leaves and a shitload of pumpkins and mums and hay bales; I can do a bouquet for me out of 3 different colors of mums and a mini punkin on a stick in the center and it'll be the cutest little thing. I'm gonna hand-make a bunch of candles for centerpieces and for wedding party gifts. Drinks are gonna be a couple kegs of good local craft beer, boozy mulled cider, non-boozy mulled cider, tea, water, and pop with dinner. Instead of a big ole cake, we're gonna do a little cake surrounded by a bunch of little tiny mini autumn-themed pies because our local grocery store has some really tasty ones and I can't imagine they wouldn't be willing to make us a bulk order of like 100 for a wedding. Venue is in the middle of the Ozarks so the fall foliage will be gd breathtaking. It should be pretty whoop-rear end even on our limited budget.

I'm worried because no matter what we do, it'll be a destination wedding for half the family-- we're in the mid South, and all his family is on the East coast. I feel kinda bad, BUT, free is an amazing price for a venue plus it'll mean a lot to get married at the family business PLUS this venue is seriously amazing. Plus the people absolutely the most important to him will be there. I figure we'll invite a bunch and a bunch won't show, which is sad but ok. Also i'm worried about what a bunch of folks who have constant access to NYC are gonna think of hanging out in the middle of the woods, but a lot of them have told me it sounds like paradise so perhaps I'm overreacting.

Also: my dress. Not only do I have the mental state of a budgett's frog, I also kinda have the body type of one, which means dress shopping is going to be... harrowing. Any tips from folks with body image issues on how to make it suck less? Selfishly I want to feel pretty on my wedding day, but realistically, that's a really difficult thing to pull off considering what my body looks like. I'd like to go to a tailor/seamstress if possible and if it's in budget because my god does nothing off the rack ever look good on me and if I end up with like a size 70 shitzillion dress i am just going to start crying. Not proud of it, but I'm insanely insecure and I'd like to not break down if at all possible. I'll bite the bullet and just plow headlong into it if I have to but I'm already sensing this is gonna be a problem :v Luckily the one person I need to impress thinks I look beautiful no matter what, which is nice and gives a big ole feeling of security.

there is so much. people want to help and be involved and i dont even know enough to start barking orders. balls.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


Axqu posted:

Concerns

Your wedding sounds magical. Iíve never been to the ozarks but as someone from the Midwest Iíve heard of it and always wanted to go.
Anxiety sucks super hard and once you start planning things and getting concrete payments/reservations down it helps calm you down cause itís done! And then you move on to the next thing.
Iím also having an October wedding, but next year. Iím waiting for the end of fall to hit up the sales on the out of season stuff and the people selling on Fb marketplace. Iíve got almost all of my centerpieces done thanks to marketplace.

I SUPER stressed about my dress too. I didnít know what to expect, I didnít know what would look good on me, I was hard core overwhelmed by that. I had amazing luck at Davidís Bridal. The sales person working with me understood like I had no idea what I was doing or how to even dress shop. I picked stuff out online that I liked and I had only my best friend/MOH with me. All of the dresses I liked looked HORRIBLE on me. But one my MOH/ the manager picked out I fell in love with and it looks amazing. Thereís ways that dress can give me an hour glass figure that I had never even seen on myself before.
So, my suggestion to you is bring one person you super trust to tell you what does and doesnít look good on you. A lot of people will want to come, and thatís what I intended on at first, but honestly it was so much better for me to have less attention because I get really flustered and embarrassed easily and I wouldnít want to be crying in front of a bunch of people. Go to a shop thatís got a really good reputation in your area. Make your appointment for when itís not super busy. The less people, the less youíll be rushed, the more the staff can focus on and assist you, itíll make you feel way more at ease. If anything start by trying different styles/cuts to see what flatters your body type. I promise there is one even if you donít think it. I can also promise you will probably try on some that are gonna look real, real bad. Thatís ok!! Laugh at how bad it is. Itís not a flaw on your part. Not every one is meant to be your husband and not every dress is meant to be your one.
I had people INSISTING that mermaid would look good on me and when I tried one on, it was a whole disaster. First off it wouldnít come down over my big belly. I was sweating my rear end off, I happened to wear my more revealing underwear that day not planning on even going to look at dresses, the dress was stuck on my sweaty fat and the poor consultant was like clawing at it trying not to touch my sweaty rear end. We barely got that thing on me and once I got the dress on enough to see about what it would look like, I looked MASSIVELY pregnant in it and wouldnít even walk out of the fitting room to show people. I was honestly more amused at how bad it was so I laughed about it while we struggled to get that thing off of me.
The manager came over to help since I didnít know what I liked, I didnít quite know how to articulate what I did and didnít like, and I think my consultant was fairly new so she needed some guidance. She decided that we just try on the different styles to see what flattered me and thatís how I found my dress. Itís not quite A-line and itís not quite ball gown. But it makes me look amazing and I feel great in it. Plus itís a zipper so itís easy to get in and out of which will make my bladder happy.
So if you just go to see what style suits you and you donít find ~the one~ on your first visit that is fine!! If you do, thatís exciting!! Just try to keep an open mind because you donít know what will surprise you. If you hate everything donít beat yourself up. Thereís so many styles and types of dresses you will find something you like in your price range, thereís no need to settle. Youíre supposed to want to be pretty and confident on your wedding day. No one wants to be an ugly bride. Itís not selfish to want to look good.
If you donít go traditional thatís cool too. I knew I didnít want a stark white, heavy satin dress. But I also really hated ivory. I ended up with a very light blush dress. Get a short, orange dress. Who cares if no one approves itís your body, your wedding. Not theirs.
Also the consultant will not care about your body hair, theyíve seen plenty of butts, theyíve seen boobs, everyone has thighs and a belly. You end up getting over being shy kind of quick.
Also going back to going with one person you trust and not the whole family; who you choose to bring is up to you, itís who is going to help your anxiety the most and still be honest with you. Even if itís just the first appointment and then you bring the whole gang later, that first appointment is going to be stressful and youíll appreciate the lack of a crowd. If/when you find the one dress thereís no harm in going back for another appointment to show that bitch off to everyone who might have been hurt they didnít see it the first time. How you feel and what you need to do to get through the process is more important than anyone elseís feelings.

People are always willing to help, youíre not barking orders by asking for assistance, and at first you really wonít need much at all. Itís not until youíre more down in the planning that you have to get help assembling, planning, designing, etc.
If your brain likes puzzles planning a wedding can actually play into that cause itís a lot of coordinating to piece together your picture perfect wedding. It will all be ok. And like you said, regardless at the end of it you come out with a husband and thatís really the best part!

CeramicPig fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Jul 30, 2020

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


I am tall, curvy and plus-size. I found not one, but two fabulous dresses I feel awesome in (I bought a traditional wedding dress at a traditional bridal shop, then a more casual off-the-rack one when we had to change our plans and do a tiny backyard pandemic wedding). I was shocked how many options there were in a regular bridal store that fit me, and no one made me feel any different than any other bride. I would just do your research and pick a couple stores that are known for carrying a range of sizes. If youíre near a big city, almost all of them have dedicated plus-size bridal stores.

I totally agree with the advice to try a bunch of stuff on in different styles. I ended up with strapless and found it much more flattering than cap sleeves or straps that cut across my arm fat in weird ways, but I would have assumed more coverage = better.

Also check out places like Torrid, ASOS, eShakti and BHLDN - depending on what size you are, they may have awesome options. And get it tailored! Itís great and worth it! Everyone does it no matter what size they are.

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Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


Axqu posted:

Concerns

For the love of god get a planner/coordinator or youíre going to have a breakdown. I know some people can do it all themselves but I have no idea how, itís not fun and i think dealing with the minutia really takes away from the fun stuff

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