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Zaftig
Jan 21, 2008

It's infectious


I volunteered as a princess for sick kids and learned that classic ball gown quinceañera dresses (aka the things that were donated for us to wear) a) look amazing on every body type and b) specifically make me feel like a drat goddess. I searched styles online and bought my dress on Amazon for $150, which was custom fitted to my exact measurements. Here are some pics if you want to see what a super budget dress looks like. Trying on dresses in a shop is a good idea so you can get an idea of how you look in different styles, but don't shy away from styles you think may not work (I know a lot of people are adverse to being a big cupcake but honestly it's very flattering).

Personally, I would hate to have someone there with me because what I feel good in rarely matches what other people say looks nice on me, but a camera, mirror, and a shop assistant are your best helpers if you're feeling self-conscious.

Also, absolutely get a day-of coordinator. It's so nice to have someone else run the day for you.

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Axqu
Nov 28, 2016

I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says,
I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!


CeramicPig posted:

Warm friendly advice delivered with a lot of reassurance in a gentle and sweet tone that did a lot to help me relax

You are very very sweet; thank you so much for the reassurance and the advice. The Ozarks are really, really, insanely gorgeous. Look up Bentonville, AR if you want an idea of the area we're getting married in. I hadn't considered FB marketplace, that's a really good idea. I've got 1-2 candidates for people I super trust who are local and could go along to go dress shopping. I've got one hell of a great group of friends and family. Really wish my MoH lived within driving distance so she could go. Your story really did make me feel a lot better. It'll be a lot easier if I can unclench and lean into the experience-- something my fiance has been trying to tell me this entire time.

I'm thinking along these lines in teal for what I want color-wise which means I either have to learn to do it myself or pay $$$ for a custom dye job. What that actually probably means is getting an idea of what style I want, ordering a budget dress, learning to dye on other fabric, dying the dress myself, then getting it tailored-- that way I'm not out a poo poo ton of money if I gently caress it up. Online stores tend to run WAY small which is daunting buuuut on the other hand it'll mean getting the color I really want.

My problem solving brain would be a good part of my head to use on this, yeah. Thanks.


DogoDogo posted:

Plus-size dress advice!

You know, I hadn't even considered a plus-size bridal store, nor did I know they existed. My parents live in Kansas City, so it'd be pretty easy to hop up there for a weekend and rope a couple of my buddies into going along. I LOVE Torrid already, especially since they have things actually built to look good on people who look like me; they're ridiculous stupid expensive but well worth it. Various brain malfunctions (that my therapy team is working on; I get better daily but it's still a process) mean I'm 5'3" and... pushing 270lb. It's daunting, even in regular clothes, trying to find something that doesn't make me hate how I look. Super-appreciate the help. I'll check out those places and make a couple calls when it's safe to travel again! Much less daunting knowing there are places specifically made to cater to women who look like me!

Thumbtacks posted:

For the love of god get a planner/coordinator or youíre going to have a breakdown. I know some people can do it all themselves but I have no idea how, itís not fun and i think dealing with the minutia really takes away from the fun stuff

Yknow, a former buddy of mine once told me "Ordinarily I'd recommend everyone try cocaine once just to have the experience, but you should never try stimulants of any kind because I think your heart would literally explode." I have no idea where this came from; I've never been interested in drugs of any kind. I miss that guy. Wonder where he is now.

Checked my pulse after trying to put together a budget for this drat thing. 172. Not a typo. I am beginning to think you're right and that I need to enlist help with more than just the day-of stuff. Also probably to talk to my therapist about effective stress management skills besides the ones I've got. It's a party full of people who love both of us a lot, not a godzilla attack.

Funny you should say that-- one of my bridesmaids offered to help a year ago, and she does wedding planning as a hobby, for fun. Not, like, any specific weddings either. She planned 3 possible entire-rear end weddings for herself down to the manufacturer's item number for the confetti on her cake table. All of them were very differently themed and all of them were gorgeous on paper; she'd be a bomb-rear end wedding planner if she wanted to make a career of it. gently caress, I need to take her up on that offer like yesterday. I've needed to call her for a while anyway. This is a perfect excuse to reach out.

Zaftig posted:

Budget ball gown advice + insta link!

Oh my god first of all you look GORGEOUS and second of all I had to do a double take because your husband looks almost exactly like my fiance's (unmarried) brother. I hadn't considered the giant cupcake look but you know what, if there's no hiding my big ole butt anyway, might as well make it look like a big ole cute princess butt. Yeah I'm gonna ask that family friend if she'd be willing to run stuff day-of; she is an absolute powerhouse and probably the sweetest person ever. Plus she knows me very well and she'll know how to gently shoo me from one event to the next without giving me a heart attack.

------

All of you are lovely; thank you so much. I am marginally less of a screaming frog now which is a very good thing! Weddings really bring out the insanity and apparently I am no exception.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


Weíre sort of similar stats:


I second the poofy dress. It helps hide big hips but while making you feel like a princess 💕
Also, teal is one of my wedding colors!! Iíll offer you my stuff when Iím done with it if youíd like! I have vases, pine cones, acorns, mini pumpkins, fake leaves for throwing, fake leaves strung up to hang, random small, wooden tags, mini branch slices (big enough for a votive), purple votives, Iím sure thereís more I canít remember now.
I wanna try spray painting some of the pine cones teal to include my colors in my centerpieces. Iím sure Iíll amass more poo poo. If you donít want any of it thatís totally cool.

Wiggy Marie
Jan 16, 2006

Meep!


^^^ gorgeous dress!

If you can get to Asheville, NC easily Candler's Budget Bridal is worth the trip. They have a Facebook you can check out to see the styles. Absolutely stunning, high quality dresses for up to $600, including the plus sizes. I bought mine there and I cannot wait to wear it.

I brought two of my best friends for my dress shopping because I haaaaate shopping and needed their support and it was a wonderful experience.

Also seconding the wedding planner advice. One of said friends is also my official wedding planner and I have had no stress as a result.

Good luck with plans and congratulations!

Wiggy Marie fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Jul 31, 2020

Hutla
Jun 5, 2004

It's mechanical

Axqu posted:

You know, I hadn't even considered a plus-size bridal store, nor did I know they existed. My parents live in Kansas City, so it'd be pretty easy to hop up there for a weekend and rope a couple of my buddies into going along. I LOVE Torrid already, especially since they have things actually built to look good on people who look like me; they're ridiculous stupid expensive but well worth it. Various brain malfunctions (that my therapy team is working on; I get better daily but it's still a process) mean I'm 5'3" and... pushing 270lb. It's daunting, even in regular clothes, trying to find something that doesn't make me hate how I look. Super-appreciate the help. I'll check out those places and make a couple calls when it's safe to travel again! Much less daunting knowing there are places specifically made to cater to women who look like me!

This is kind of tangential to your wedding specific anxieties, but being fat doesn't mean that you don't deserve to feel good and happy about your wardrobe. My friend makes this podcast Fat Outta Hell https://instagram.com/fatouttahellpod?igshid=1e3miuo8tojgv and they feature frugal fat fashion every week. Jessie is very devoted to sharing how she finds clothes that make her feel good and beautiful without spending a crazy amount of money.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


Went to my sisterís wedding yesterday and honestly itís not as bad as I thought, they spaced chairs out and seated by family but it wasnít really noticeable and honestly I appreciated the leg room. They didnít really follow safety protocol as much as they should have during the reception and I left early because of it but also my entire family is super right wing and donít believe thereís even a virus so you know ymmv.

We also just got confirmation that weíre good to go at our venue, with a caveat that we canít have a dance floor. Iím personally absolutely okay with this but Iím sure my family will be annoyed about it

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





Yeah shutting down venues is as much about limiting spread through casual contact as it is keeping people from licking each other's faces

Sober people are generally ok about distancing if there's a structure to it. There's stickers on the floor in my grocery store 6' apart, parks have 6' chalk circles etc

You fill everyone up with three scotch on the rocks and put them on a dance floor people pretty much instantly turn into super spreaders. We went out on a boat with some friends had some beers, later ended up down in the cabin having more beers. We lucked out, nobody had it/caught it, but it's very easy to let your guard down and fall back into old habits

Smart idea leaving the reception early

Wife is supposed to have a baby shower in mid September, we're planning on doing it outdoors in a park, and limiting it to ~15 people but still considering cancelling it

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty


Axqu posted:

All of you are lovely; thank you so much. I am marginally less of a screaming frog now which is a very good thing! Weddings really bring out the insanity and apparently I am no exception.
It seriously doesn't have to. Work out what's really, really important, and taper down from there. I think you'd be surprised how much stuff from the standard 'how to do a wedding' checklists is pointless additional stress and cost.

I found the Rock 'n' Roll Bride website and Facebook group helpful as resources for ideas, support, and a view into weddings that aren't centred around a white princess dress on a skinny bride (amongst other things!). There's more US-based stuff on the website than on the Facebook group but both are worth a look. Our wedding actually got featured on the site too, which was pretty snazzy.

You have plenty of time, don't rush yourself and also understand that there's this dead period a few months before where everything's basically sorted but your vendors don't want the final bits of info until 6 weeks before the date. That was one of the worst bits for us - all of this planning momentum and then dead air for what felt like an eternity!

What kept us sane was sacking off the 'Wedding Planning Wednesday' stuff we saw other people doing, but still being methodical and setting time aside to look into/book/discuss stuff. By giving yourself a good bit of planning time you will save so much stress. We had 18 months between engagement and wedding day and it wasn't really too stressful at any point. If you are taking on wedding helpers who are friends, make sure you pick the most trustworthy people who love you to bits, and try to put your faith in them to do a good job. Second-guessing everyone can be really tempting and hard to avoid but it's guaranteed to bring you stress.

Axqu
Nov 28, 2016

I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says,
I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!


Sorry I haven't replied before now; my fiance is a trucker and I go out on the road with him every other week. Phoneposting and long-form posting don't mix super well. Also: told my dad I want him to walk me down the aisle and I want him to pick the music for the father-daughter dance. He is really happy to be included, and is probably going to way overthink it.

CeramicPig posted:

Beautiful wedding dress pic; generous offer

Wow that's a beautiful dress and you look absolutely radiant in it. I actually legit teared up when I saw that picture because you gave me real visible confirmation that it's possible for me to look pretty on my wedding day even shaped the way I am. I really, really appreciate it. As for decor, I'd have to take a look obvs but I'd tentatively be interested in some of it! Our colors are actually gonna be teal for the bride/groom and burnt orange for the rest of it. We're not doing anything super super fancy, so I wanted the little pop of complementary color for a little extra pizazz. The autumn theme is deffo our aesthetic though!!

Wiggy Marie posted:

NC bridal store rec

Arkansas, unfortunately nowhere near Asheville. Thanks so much! Would've been doable if we were getting married close to his family in NJ.

Hutla posted:

Body positivity; fat fashion podcast

Super SUPER appreciate this, thank you I have kinda wanted to get into dressing better/ fashion for a while but being both round and on a budget there were some significant barriers to entry. Will definitely check this out.

Bollock Monkey posted:

Good wedding advice/resources wrt cutting out the stress/bullshit

Definitely going to check these out, thank you. My therapist has put me on the mental equivalent of bed rest, so paring down a lot of the bullshit is gonna be necessary. And hey, good news-- I'm US based too! That reminds me, I need to reach back out to wedding-planner-bridesmaid. Both for related and unrelated reasons. She's good people.

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012


My fiancť is switching jobs and the insurance options provided are insulting at best. Very expensive for little to no coverage. As a firefighter and living during a pandemic in America where health is a political topic and not a guaranteed right, itís important he have good/decent insurance. So we decided to get hitched

Please ignore my weird face. I was anxious and my feet hurt.



It doesnít feel real yet, but weíre also keeping it a secret from most people. We also just did it yesterday so maybe it just hasnít sunk in yet. Weíre still doing the big wedding next year but at least I can have him on my insurance this way and if anything happens heís covered. Iím very happy and excited to get to call him my husband 💕

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty


Cute! Congratulations

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


19 days left oh god oh gently caress

Gotta write vows, I forgot. This sucks and I do not like it, I donít know what to write

Wiggy Marie
Jan 16, 2006

Meep!


CeramicPig posted:

My fiancé is switching jobs and the insurance options provided are insulting at best. Very expensive for little to no coverage. As a firefighter and living during a pandemic in America where health is a political topic and not a guaranteed right, it’s important he have good/decent insurance. So we decided to get hitched

Please ignore my weird face. I was anxious and my feet hurt.



It doesn’t feel real yet, but we’re also keeping it a secret from most people. We also just did it yesterday so maybe it just hasn’t sunk in yet. We’re still doing the big wedding next year but at least I can have him on my insurance this way and if anything happens he’s covered. I’m very happy and excited to get to call him my husband 💕

Aww, congrats!

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty


Thumbtacks posted:

19 days left oh god oh gently caress

Gotta write vows, I forgot. This sucks and I do not like it, I don’t know what to write

My first vow was "I promise to keep tolerating the football and to try not to get too annoyed when you watch Match of the Day in bed." You'll be fine!

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


One week away. Feels weird.

Iím still a bit worried some people wonít be able to make it and my fiancťís brother was possibly exposed last week so weíre keeping an eye on it, if he canít come sheís going to be devastated so hopefully itís fine.

Queen Victorian
Feb 21, 2018



Thumbtacks posted:

One week away. Feels weird.

Iím still a bit worried some people wonít be able to make it and my fiancťís brother was possibly exposed last week so weíre keeping an eye on it, if he canít come sheís going to be devastated so hopefully itís fine.

Hope everythingís okay with your fiancťís brother

I sincerely wish you the best and good luck all around! I hope itís wonderful.

And since this is an Ask/Tell thread, Iíll tell some tales and lessons from my BILís wedding, which I just got back from. He and his fiancťe had originally planned a much much larger wedding at a snazzy brewery venue that was to take place later this fall, but since thereís a pandemic, they had to cut like 90% of the guest list after the venue bailed on them (after a long period of spotty, insufficient communication) and plan a whole different (and much smaller) backyard wedding in two months.

My husband and I went to his folksí place a week ahead so we could help with setup and stuff. But since they almost never entertain and my MIL is quite scatterbrained, there was, uh, a lot of stuff that hadnít been thought of, like anything having to do with decor

Iíve perused this thread a bit and I know a lot of folks have gone with minimal, nontraditional decor and centerpieces and stuff, but that was in the before times and that was the intention. Here, the intent was to have a more traditional affair, but that got ruined by the pandemic. I got married two years ago and our wedding was fantastic and had gorgeous flowers (which I had pretty much no involvement with because my sister was the event planner (she is a pro) and I trusted her to deal with it) and I felt so bad that the bride was going to just have her professional bouquet and corsages and stuff and then go buy some flowers from Trader Joeís for everything else that I decided to take care of the flowers. Ended up going to a flower wholesaler instead of a florist (on advice from my sister) and got a pile of beautiful flowers and greens for a song and a dance and made the arrangements myself. They came out really well and the bride was very happy and I think the fancy wedding flowers made the patio feel more like a wedding spot than the in-lawsí backyard.

Itís getting late and Iím rambling so Iíll just bullet point what I learned:
- If youíre on a budget and have a small enough wedding and/or enough volunteers, buying bunches of flowers and greenery from a wholesaler and DIYing the arrangements is the way to go. The cost of a florist is much more about the labor than the materials.
- Get the green flower arranging foam or frogs to hold short arrangements in place (makes it soooo much easier)
- Be prepared to go to Michaelís five times over three days.
- Tule is fun
- I bought a crapton of ribbon that I ended up not using. Should have started on non-flower decor MUCH earlier.
- Battery powered candles have gotten quite good and they provided excellent lighting for the outdoor tables and can be used as party favors.
- get manicure AFTER assembling eucalyptus garlands and accept that you will smell like a eucalyptus tree for some time (not necessarily a bad thing).

In conclusion, best of luck to everyone getting married during these times.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


Tomorrow is the wedding and it still doesnít feel real

Remind me to tell you the story of my coordinator before I had to fire her, itís a good one

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


Thumbtacks posted:

Tomorrow is the wedding and it still doesnít feel real

Remind me to tell you the story of my coordinator before I had to fire her, itís a good one

Wishing you a wonderful and happy day and a beautiful start to your marriage!

snailshell
Aug 26, 2010

I LOVE BIG WET CROROCDILE PUSSYT


Thumbtacks posted:

Tomorrow is the wedding and it still doesnít feel real

Remind me to tell you the story of my coordinator before I had to fire her, itís a good one
Mazel tov! I want to hear the wedding coordinator story.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

Maggie Fletcher posted:

Update: we got our videos back! It's almost our one-year anniversary, but it was worth the wait. The videos are awesome, the cuts are a little choppy in some places but he did some creative cuts like editing out some stupidity like me trying to grab the mic from the officiant and the weird "oh wait-no-oh sorry-okay" that ensued. Overall there's over an hour of final footage split into parts (intro, ceremony, performance, etc.). Our wedding was a bit off-the-wall so it took some creativity to capture everything and have it make sense compared to a traditional wedding and it was handled really well. The only thing we'd have liked is more footage of her family--my family is rather in-your-face and hers is much more camera shy so they got very little footage of them. But they did really well with what they did get.

It was really nice to relive a super fun day and see all the stuff they filmed that we couldn't pay attention to, being the brides and all.

Hey, goongratulations on getting your goonedding video!

(Goon)

* crickets *

untzthatshit
Oct 26, 2007

Snit Snitford



Hey folks, I'm looking for a little engagement ring buying advice.

My girlfriend and I have talked about rings and she's given me a few descriptors and sent some examples. I read through the OP and checked out a couple of the recommended sites as well as looking online at local jeweler's inventories and I haven't found very many rings that fit what she's describing. Her main thing is no big diamond sticking out in the middle, she wants something that won't get caught on stuff. I know she likes yellow or matte gold rings and she said she thinks champagne diamonds are cool (I'm not sure what the difference is).

She sent me this link to a bunch of Jennie Kwon rings and said she loved pretty much all of these. Is there anywhere else I can look for similar types of designs? Also I google searched Jennie Kwon and couldn't really find many reviews or other information apart from their sales page and some pinterest links. If I get one of these rings am I essentially sending thousands of dollars to some instagrammer or is this a legit site to buy a ring from? And what do I do about insurance?

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


From looking at this link, I think some of the keywords youíd likely want to search are low-profile, modern, geometric. Iím not familiar with Jennie Kwon but I think her site looks legit; just inquire about return policies before you buy. Her designs seem to be carried at a number of reputable retailers including Nordstrom, and Broken English and Catbird (two of my fave indie jewelers). But if you feel better buying elsewhere, you can for sure find similar designs on other sites.

I purchased a separate insurance policy for my ring through my regular insurance agent. It was dirt cheap.

Champagne diamonds are colored - anywhere from super pale gold to more beige/brown. Theyíre beautiful but can be pricey as they are rare. I love colored diamonds too. You might also see if sheís open to other colored gemstones. I have a vintage aquamarine engagement ring and I love it as I was adamant about not getting a ďboring regularĒ white diamond, lol.

Vortex Street
Oct 23, 2010

I walked right out of the machinery

This person does similar rings, particularly bezel set which wonít catch on things.

Another shop to try (I have ordered from both for every day rings with success).

Vortex Street fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Nov 10, 2020

untzthatshit
Oct 26, 2007

Snit Snitford



Thanks people, this is all very helpful. Especially the adjectives to use in searching, I managed to find a few more rings that fit the aesthetic she's looking for. I did look at various return policies, and most online retailers are basically "sales final". Which is a little nerve racking when I'm looking at spending a few thousand dollars. We talked it over a bit more and I think we are going to go to a jeweler and get her ring size double checked and look at some rings together. Then I'll either go back on my own or pick something from one of these sites and just pull the trigger. Hoping to get this wrapped up in time to propose by New Years!

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





We did Blue Nile, which has a pretty generous return policy, for like a week 30 days. They will ship you next day air free so you're not hanging on to it in the house for weeks before a big trip or holiday or something, and then she finds it accidentally

Edit: correct return policy

Hadlock fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Nov 11, 2020

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

I got free ring sizers in the mail (and you can print them out even!) And now me and the wife know every size for each finger. It's great. gently caress trying to guess the finger size of someone!

My wife is quite goth/punk so I ended up getting her a 3 stack of batheads with lil amethyst and a main ring with some other stone i can't remember from omnia studios. Just looked! The rings are called "nocturne" and "chiroptera"

https://omniastudios.com/

It's not traditional, but hey, worth a look! There's some pretty bands in there and low profile ones. And lots of giant skulls n poo poo. Best part was it didn't cost me thousands and just hundreds

untzthatshit
Oct 26, 2007

Snit Snitford



Just to throw an update out there: I ended up taking her to a jeweler in town. We showed up and they asked us a ton of questions (a lot we hadn't even thought of) and showed some pictures of rings we thought we liked. Then my gf stepped outside while I had a quick discussion about timing and budget. From there they sent me about 14 rough sketches of ideas they had based on our conversations, I made a couple of adjustments to one that I thought would be perfect and then they went to work! I wound up going into the store one more time to pick out the center diamond and eventually to pick up the final product.

And it worked out perfectly! The whole process took maybe 3-4 weeks and actually came in a little under the budget I gave them. She loves it, (she said yes, proposed on New Year's) and holy poo poo now we're getting married!

Also I thought there would be a little reprieve between the stress of finding a ring, proposing etc and then getting started with wedding planning but obviously I was completely wrong. We were engaged NYE and today are putting down the deposit on our wedding venue sooo things are moving! The date is in 2022 so hopefully far enough away from covid concerns that we can have a nice wedding with all our family and friends.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





Yeah reading the above post, I think if I have one piece of advice, it's go see a jeweler in person very very early in the process. They will, at a minimum, help you get the correct ring size figured out, etc. You can look at photos until you go blind, but there's nothing quite like seeing 5-6 candidates side by side. Even if you don't buy the ring from that specific jeweler.

That said we got pregnant about a year after getting married, and wife wasn't able to put the ring on by the end of her first trimester, so she's had a $35 "replica" two sizes up for a while as her daily driver

untzthatshit
Oct 26, 2007

Snit Snitford



Yeah I'd say my main take away that I'd share with anyone else starting out this process is just to include your partner in it.

Anywho we got engaged 22 days ago and we already have locked in our venue, caterer, DJ and officiant. So we're done now right?

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja

untzthatshit posted:

Thanks people, this is all very helpful. Especially the adjectives to use in searching, I managed to find a few more rings that fit the aesthetic she's looking for. I did look at various return policies, and most online retailers are basically "sales final". Which is a little nerve racking when I'm looking at spending a few thousand dollars.

I think the most important thing is to work with someone that you feel comfortable with and whose judgement you trust. The engagement ring experience is pretty much the same working local or long distance. But good communication on both sides is very important.

untzthatshit
Oct 26, 2007

Snit Snitford



Wow, so wedding planning is the absolute worst. Not the actual planning part, that's fine. Just the people involved, namely my future in laws. My fiancee has a large family including a lot of adult cousins who in turn have children that are also adults. One of these adult-children was over the other day and started crying because he wasn't invited to the wedding so she said ok you and your brother can come. Which I was fine with, I have met these two and I like them. But then her mother got word of this and has raised a huge shitstorm because if they're invited then all the rest of the cousins' adult children need to be invited. Which is like 12 more people. People I've never met, that my financee hasn't seen in years, and who probably don't actually care if they're invited or not. Now this morning her father calls and says that grandma is crying because we invited two of those kids and not all of them. It's unbelievable how petty these people are.

And that's not even all of it, she's already kicked out two of her bridesmaids (who are also cousins) because of how lovely they were being. At this point I just want to forfeit the deposits and go elope.

PhysicsFrenzy
May 30, 2011

cats can have little a sunglasses, as a treat

There's a lot of advice out there for engagement rings, but I'm actually struggling more with picking out wedding bands! Any advice?

Also, how important is a photographer? We're both grad students, so the prices for the full ceremony plus reception are a little difficult to afford on our budget. I'm thinking of maybe hiring one just for the ceremony and then asking my wedding party to take photos during the reception, or else just asking my wedding party to handle it wholesale. Is that a terrible idea?

untzthatshit posted:

At this point I just want to forfeit the deposits and go elope.

Ahh, I can definitely empathize. Had a huge fight with my mom over inviting extended family I haven't spoken to in over a decade. Sorry you're dealing with all that bullshit.

asur
Dec 28, 2012


PhysicsFrenzy posted:

There's a lot of advice out there for engagement rings, but I'm actually struggling more with picking out wedding bands! Any advice?

Also, how important is a photographer? We're both grad students, so the prices for the full ceremony plus reception are a little difficult to afford on our budget. I'm thinking of maybe hiring one just for the ceremony and then asking my wedding party to take photos during the reception, or else just asking my wedding party to handle it wholesale. Is that a terrible idea?


Ahh, I can definitely empathize. Had a huge fight with my mom over inviting extended family I haven't spoken to in over a decade. Sorry you're dealing with all that bullshit.

I would definitely not ask the wedding party to handle photos during the wedding as they're in it and not in a position to take photos. Asking any guest to do it is pretty much gambling on having good photos. The same applies to the reception but those photos are probably less important to you.

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


Personally photos are one thing I would not skimp on. Ymmv, but you can tell a difference between high and low quality (you really do get what you pay for) and itís the one thing you get to keep forever. If money is an object, maybe reach out to your local college or community college and see if thereís a photography student looking to build their portfolio?

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


PhysicsFrenzy posted:

There's a lot of advice out there for engagement rings, but I'm actually struggling more with picking out wedding bands! Any advice?

I knew when I was looking for mine that I didnít want a gold one so I actually found the one I wanted on manlybands.com. If you ignore the pandering and the insane ring names (which are extremely funny to read) itís surprisingly affordable and had some nice options. I got one with tungsten and wood and Iím very happy with it.

PhysicsFrenzy
May 30, 2011

cats can have little a sunglasses, as a treat

asur posted:

I would definitely not ask the wedding party to handle photos during the wedding as they're in it and not in a position to take photos. Asking any guest to do it is pretty much gambling on having good photos. The same applies to the reception but those photos are probably less important to you.

Right, good point. Thanks!

DogoDogo posted:

Personally photos are one thing I would not skimp on. Ymmv, but you can tell a difference between high and low quality (you really do get what you pay for) and it’s the one thing you get to keep forever. If money is an object, maybe reach out to your local college or community college and see if there’s a photography student looking to build their portfolio?

True. Thanks for the advice.

It turns out my man of honor's boyfriend used to study photography, so we're considering hiring him for the ceremony. Hopefully this works out (and doesn't cost us more than the catering, like some of the other options around here )

Thumbtacks posted:

I knew when I was looking for mine that I didn’t want a gold one so I actually found the one I wanted on manlybands.com. If you ignore the pandering and the insane ring names (which are extremely funny to read) it’s surprisingly affordable and had some nice options. I got one with tungsten and wood and I’m very happy with it.

I made it one line into the description of 'the baller' and I don't think I can do it. Thank you though!

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013


Oh, believe me, I had a lot of fun reading descriptions to my wife. Itís a good place to at least look and get some ideas about look and material, though. I donít remember the one I got, I think Iíve erased the name from my memory.

DogoDogo
Jun 12, 2018


What in particular is tripping you up about the band search? Materials, style, price? Just not seeing anything you like? That might help us advise you better.

PhysicsFrenzy
May 30, 2011

cats can have little a sunglasses, as a treat

DogoDogo posted:

What in particular is tripping you up about the band search? Materials, style, price? Just not seeing anything you like? That might help us advise you better.

I have no idea where to even start with the bands. My fiance and I talked briefly about the looks of different materials, but we didn't figure anything out. I've browsed jewelers online but nothing's jumped out to me-- everything looks so similar, so how can I tell what I like? Part of me feels like the rings themselves should have as much emotional significance as our engagement rings did, too, but I know they will after he and I pick them out together so maybe that's dumb.

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smackfu
Jun 7, 2004



Iím sure it varies for everyone, but five years on, the wedding photos we got the most use out of was our session the day after where we went to an Ivy League university campus and took posed shots with just me and my new wife.

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