JC Tenton

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > JC Tenton

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Walton Simons: You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors.
JC Denton: I'm fat though.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 00:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 06:25

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

JC Denton: You've got ten seconds to eat it before I add it to the list of NSF casualties.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 00:39

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

JC Denton: What else do you know about me?
Morpheus: Everything that can be known. Also jesus you got fat.

Walton Simons: You can't begin synthesizing the vaccine without a universal constructor, and don't think we're going to just leave one lying around. Not after you blew up the one in Hong Kong.
JC Denton: I thought I could cook bacon in there.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 00:43

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Anna Navarre: You're wearing sunglasses on a night operation?
JC Denton: I lost my sight to diabetes you bitch.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 00:47

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Anna Navarre: I would like to be reassigned to Agent Hermann.
Joseph Manderley: Why? Is Agent Denton...?
Anna Navarre: He completed his objective, but our tactics are incompatible.
Joseph Manderley: In other words, he didn't kill everything in sight.
Anna Navarre: No he ate them.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 00:53

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

O.E.T.K.E.R. posted:

JOE GREENE
I interviewed the doctors: poker-faced as politicians. Don't even blink when
you say the word Ambrosia.

JC DENTON
Maybe they think you're talking about the food of the gods.

JOE GREENE
I'm serious. Don't you believe the stories coming out of --Hong Kong, that the
government had a cure all along?

JC DENTON
Food of the gods...

hahaha

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 00:55

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Drug Dealer: You make BIG mistake, homeboy.
JC Denton: ...

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 01:02

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

O.E.T.K.E.R. posted:

TONG
Strange... I'm picking up infrared pulses. Why would a bakery need electronic
security?

lol

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 01:04

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

this thread is awesome

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 01:07

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

TESSA
I'm meeting someone.
MERCEDES
Hey, man. Where ya from?
JC DENTON
The 'States.
MERCEDES
We're from Australia.
JC DENTON
Hm. On vacation?
TESSA
Let's just wait for Russ.
MERCEDES
He's kinda cute.
What's your name?
JC DENTON
JC. Is this a good club?
MERCEDES
Oh, totally, and it's a Red Arrow place. They get everything real cheap. Look,
can we ask a big, big favor?
JC DENTON
...

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 01:11

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

TELEPHONE
I am right behind you, Mr. Denton.
JC DENTON
Who's this?
TELEPHONE
Soon I will be ahead of you, beside you -- I will be a part of everything in
your world.
JC DENTON
Colonel Sanders?

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 01:20

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

this thread owns

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 14:57

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

JOCK
Look out, JC. I'm picking up oven heat signatures in the sewers. I think somebody's expecting you.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 15:55

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

LUCIUS
What are you doing back here? Denton, right?
JC DENTON
...yeah. You're... alive in that thing?
LUCIUS
I am conscious. Tell Everett I am cold. He keeps me so cold.
JC DENTON
Who are you? Do you mind if I ask? Why are you in a refrigerator?
LUCIUS
The Supreme Enlightened, the leader of the Illuminati.
JC DENTON
I could fit a LOT of pudding in there.
LUCIUS
I AM THE LEADER! I brought the Illuminati up through the 20th-century to the
height of their power! I had presidents and premiers eating out of my hand. I am
the one! Our decline is the result of my own. All we need is for me to get back
on my feet. What did Everett tell you?
JC DENTON
Eating out of your hand? Hmmm. Hold on I have an idea.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 16:05

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

JC DENTON
Looks pretty bad down there.
JAIME REYES
Keeps getting worse, too. It must be raining bullets out there.
JC DENTON
The NSF aren't kidding around. How are you holding up?
JAIME REYES
Fine. I lost one of my lunchables because a refrigeration unit went down. That's always hard.
JC DENTON
God drat terrorists.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 18:31

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

JC DENTON
Mind if I borrow one of the subs?
MECHANIC
Not the one on the right. I am replacing the rotors.
JC DENTON
Then I'll take the other one.
MECHANIC
You must have authorization.
JC DENTON
I need some equipment from the ocean lab. Lives depend on it.
MECHANIC
Look buddy, you're...carrying a little too much weight to get in one of those okay? I was trying to be nice but you're so drat persistent.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2008 20:33

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Linguica posted:

if we didn't already have like 8 stickied threads I would sticky this

just goldmine it

# ¿ Mar 7, 2008 06:14

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

gigs posted:

thats a ban

poo poo

# ¿ Mar 7, 2008 06:15

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

just reminding everyone: this thread owns

# ¿ Mar 11, 2008 17:02

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

finally gold :cool:

# ¿ Mar 11, 2008 19:26

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Spacko posted:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2008 03:47

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

Spacko posted:

my god...it's full of stars

# ¿ Mar 12, 2008 20:35

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

let bacon ring

# ¿ Mar 12, 2008 21:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 06:25

dojokm: Sep 20, 2001

thread owns

# ¿ Mar 14, 2008 14:49

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > JC Tenton