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Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

he saw terrible things there, things no man should see

like:



and:



in fact, there are plenty more horrors of the Mushroom-Dick War


and he saw lovely posts, too. but sgt_goomba didn't just sit back and do nothing. he is part of that LINE IN THE SAND that says, "no, no more"

sgt_goomba posted:

bareback rodeo, I'm not going to make fun of you, but dude, why are you here? I don't mean this in a nasty way: Leave this place and never come back.
Unless this is a character in which case lol.

Free market gravy, I mean this in the worse way possible: you're a fuckface and get out of helldump. As you can see, we're all very impressed at your skills in annihilating an easy target. Go take a bath with a hairdryer, or at the very least beat up a toddler and score some jailtime.

Jesse Jackson, please cue your ever so clever hidden barbs or show me some mario porn that I illustrated because I love it so much. You're internet sleuthing before made me feel so vulnerable.
bless you, son

let us all thank him for his service

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Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Jozier posted:

someone quote his post about me it gets me hard
Come to papa ron paul, you can grease up my chest. It's like a dream come true.

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Deek posted:

why does luigi have a rasheed wallacesque stain in his hair and why is the knees in their pants ripped up when the knee caps dont look to have become hugely muscular???
knee nipples

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Ok, seriouspost. I have no idea where that second picture came from. But please keep your criticisms coming so I can become a better illustrator and drawer.
put a shotgun on the right side of your head and a canvas on the left and take a shot at impressionism

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

thankfully this isnt important because [url=http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:FKdhZZYdZzcJ:https://www.koopatorivm.com/+koopat...lient=firefox-a]here[/url]
W lcome to The Koopatorivm! Here is an unholy archive of Mario Bros. - related news and multimedia. We have the best Mario art gallery on the internet plus authentic material such as comics, Nintendo Adventure books, and miscellaneous other scans. And other delightful surprises abound, how wonderful. Now go! Proudly pay homage to the Koopa Klan! Offer burnt sacrifices!
Kaptain H and SgtGoomba

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Goatstein posted:

i dunno that mantis librarian chick could be pretty hot, she could like be on top facing you while giving you a foot massage
i bet sgt goomba thinks the best part about bangin meltyface the stroke victim would be that she'd try to scream out poo poo like "oh god" and it'd come out "lamp frog!" which would be cool because he could say random things like "ninja pound" "reverse thrusters!" and "SOME THING AWFUL DOT CUM" before pulling out and blowing a hot load of koopajuice all over her princess peach

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

This is helldump 2000....right? I might be new, but I read in SAclopedia that this is the place where you flame assholes. Or is there some unwritten rule where I'm supposed to circlejerk with the popular kids even if they are acting like douche bags.
um, i *know* what this forum is for, thank you very much

this forum is for making fun of idiots, and that's precisely what i'm here to do

*deletes entire internet history*

maybe it is you who is too busy circlejerking to understand this forum

*gently fingers mushroom into rear end in a top hat*

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

I do know lemmykoopa forums though, but I haven't been there since 2003. I have alot of enemies there
if this is indeed someone from the lemmykoopa forums, let me say this:

know that you and i are enemies

and know that a bowser fireball is a dish best served hot

i'm sorry, but your attempts at ownage are in another castle

*sends wad of shittake mushrooms up own warp pipe*

heh, poo pootake

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Of all the things on the internet that you guys could give me credit for, I'd just great that you found something so adorable. On the one hand, I can't wait to see what you find next while scouring the net.


On the other hand, seriously, posting pictures of people I know and hinting at looking for where I live is pretty creepy. I didn't post this information anywhere on something awful. Shouldn't that be in helldump2000 v2 or nowhere at at all. Not to backseat mod or anything.
excuse me, i *know* what this forum is for, thank you very much

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Right, well, in that case, since you guys are a bunch of circlejerking faggots who can't fight fair, I'm going to bow out before somebody shows up outside my window, attacks someone I know, or steals my credit card information. Have fun.
how about you promise never to post here again on pain of being permabanned, otherwise there's no reason for all the posters here with lexis-nexis to stop at just your email addresses and not go straight for driver's license photos and info, tax records... the list goes on and on

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:


Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

the_ruiner posted:

holy poo poo i just got hard

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

and yes i drew that copyright symbol

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Right, well, in that case, since you guys are a bunch of circlejerking faggots who can't fight fair, I'm going to bow out before somebody shows up outside my window, attacks someone I know, or steals my credit card information. Have fun.

sgt_goomba posted:

Trust me, I'll be back, shithead.
you're really sending mixed signals here

what do you think would happen if you did this with a woman you weren't terrified of?

just picture it:

- i have jumped on a flower and now have the ability to shoot fireballs at you, meagan
*pew pew pew pew*
- let us climb a beanstalk together
*pew pew pew pew*
- WHY ARE YOU RUNNING, MEAGAN???????

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

lol do you wanna fight fair bobby
you've gotta love it. he's got some throwaway family sitcom name and lives his life through video game characters from the mid-80s

when he was 7 years old, his dad dribbled a basketball at him and said "now you dribble it, bobby!" and bobby rocketed it into his own crotch and doubled over and screamed, and then when the ball rolled back to him he vengefully kicked the poo poo out of it, so it rose and collided with the garage door and bounced back and hit him in the face, and he ran inside and his mom wondered why his shirt was covered in blood and his pants full of poo poo

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

http://bobbys-mansion.piczo.com/?cr=2

come visit bobby
lmao

also, AS, my aim client got all hosed up, why the gently caress don't you have plat

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

they gave him a dose of euthanasia

i think it was 20 euthanasia CCs

can't really be sure, but the guy handling the vial of euthanasia was very serious and, when he caught me staring, said

"no, youngling! do not stare so fixedly at the elixir of death!

"it can feel your eyes on it

"it can come for you too"

that's when i was like "gently caress this" and grabbed a leaf and raccoon-flew up to heaven

if only i could have taken my dog there with me

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

what happened to your aim anyway bonifac
sa.boniface@gmail, i tell you all about it

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Well, yeah, it'd be embarrassing if someone went on "lexis-nexis to stop at just your email addresses and not go straight for driver's license photos and info, tax records... the list goes on and on."

It was also embarrassing when someone here posted a picture of someone I know and indicated they knew where I lived. Just one of the few things that you guys got right. But feel free to harass some depressed and disabled child who decided to crib my screename.

As for your flame baiting, I stopped being in the mood for a normal flame fight two hours ago. I'm not bitting.
lol

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba, there's a simple solution to all this

it involves you not posting

i know this sounds pretty complex but take a while to think about it

if you need someone to give you a walk-through, maybe that could happen

there are many random pits and blocks with question marks on them that light your way

but maybe, just maybe, in the end you can gently caress a flagpole outta here

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Would you guys stop logging on lemmykoopa.com. You're straining the server. I'm logging everyone who accesses it.
do you think mario gets hard when he rides down the flagpole?

that probably makes him gay when you think about it

that's a really good idea for an essay you could write for another site when you're no longer posting on this one because you're a loving retard

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Great! I hope you're scared!
seriously, how do you wind up reading and posting at somethingawful

this site should probably be to you like a vampire touching a cross or garlic or something that is to vampires like touching something that sears off moron cells in their skin

why would you even be here

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

AS if you've got a google add. hit me up

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

And you know what I think. I think you're pissed that I'm not backing down. That makes me happy.
i am

you need to stop posting

this loving sucks, because my aim client is hosed up, but i need to get some people together to get on the BAN YOU boat. usually i organize these things on aim, and it takes a lot longer in pm (and lots of people don't have plat, so i have to call them)

i'm gonna find a way, because you are a menace to good posting

i will deal with you

i will make it my life's work to deal with you

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

I already stated my motivation earlier:
I haven't been here long, but long enough to see that most of you helldump 2000 elites have grown plump and complacent in your non-stop circlejerking. You're also douche bags. I saw you guys picking on an easy target, and I called you on it. Now you're pissed that I won't back down. Every minute that you keep this thread open and stay pissed at me for standing up to you is another minute of victory.

Also, I heard you can ban people here. So do it. Give in and ban the guy you can't control so you can keep your hierarchy and pick on easy targets, like a bunch of pussies. But guess what, I win.
maybe you're some human being rereg or a byob human being who took the name and listed the email address of some random human being, but you seem entirely too proud to have your entire sickly and nauseating personal history exposed

maybe you wave your hand and act like it doesn't matter, but you respond anyway

any human being of moderate intelligence would be doubled over a toilet if they were mistaken for you

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

I took a few hits when you guys decided to fight dirty (detective work), but you mixed in with so many misses it's pathetic. Your information is 95 percent wrong and so scattershot, you have no power over me. The only thing you guys have left is calling me a human being. It's not going to do it.

Ban me or close this thread if you can't stand me. Pick on easy targets like pussies. I will have still won.
you obviously wanted to be accepted

you're not

explain how you won

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

How many failures can one person experience in one night.
i'm not gay or curious

whoops

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

* Listening to: Sonic R - Super Sonic Racing
* Reading: The Fourth Garfield Fat Cat 3 Pack
* Watching: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
* Playing: Nintendogs Dalmation & Friends
* Eating: Ice Breakers Dragonfruit
* Drinking: Water

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

i think you kept dreaming about loving that bespectacled ape that moderates the mario forum with you for too long and now your brain is broken so now you think youre at war or some poo poo

you are a pathetic suicidal kid who starts crying about fairness and taking down his lovely fanart sites as soon as someone links to them and now youre trying to appear tough and in control

how did you get to be that way bobby

what do your parents think of you

are they alive bobby

did your parents kill themselves

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Do I need to quote you Boniface, where even you admit I probably had you fooled, that I'm probably not who I seem to be. Or are you just throwing in last minute lies to make yourself look good for the morning crowd.
haha what

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

You're trying to use the psychology I've been using on you against me. Doesn't work.

Also, Boniface's terms were not terms by which I win, but by which he wins. I haven't shut up, and I've most clearly pointed out why he and his buddies are douche bags. I win.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0&userid=133539

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

maria4286 posted:

Hey goomba, if you tried to talk to a girl and she started walking away with a pained look, how loud would you scream at her back that you are the actual winner because she paid attention to you?
that would never happen

when she walked away, he'd throw a brick at her

if she just broke apart, then he'd know she wasn't worth it

but if her body exploded in a bunch of gold coins, then that would be different

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Autism Sundae posted:

lol this is great


lmbo

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up



we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are

*shoots fireballs at poo poo comin out of the pipes*

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

hahahaha, I banned that human being after I took over. I'm much more popular now, not that they have a choice.
the small animals i trap and crucify to a small board, splaying them with nails in their paws, worship me as a god and make no effort to leave me

heh, not that they have a choice

either way, i'm pretty much the Squirrel Lord

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

But she can't tell me I can't use her art when the characters belong to Nintendo, so I told her to go to hell.
this is the only victory you will find in this life

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Kalista posted:

Mariowned

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba tore up every issue of NINTENDO POWER and used the strips of paper to make a hate collage when his letter to Nestor was returned to him along with a note explaining that Nestor wasn't real

Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

Boniface posted:

sgt_goomba tore up every issue of NINTENDO POWER and used the strips of paper to make a hate collage when his letter to Nestor was returned to him along with a note explaining that Nestor wasn't real
the collage surrounded the words "Best Friends Forever," which he then sent to the Big Boy, who was the second-coolest boy he knew

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Boniface
Jul 18, 2005

Halfway home and my pager still blowin up

sgt_goomba posted:

Because it doesn't matter what my personal history is, my original point is still valid. You guys are a bunch of circle jerking faggots, which is ironic, because this is supposed to be the chaotic, anti-authority, anti-circlejerking forum. You are also a bunch of arrogant sociopaths, who think you are the only ones capable or irony or ironically enjoying things on the internet that is "something awful." This is somewhat a problem on SA as a whole, but you guys are the only one's so self-righteous about it as to viciously attack others in that belief.

Also, most of you are cowards. You hide behind your anonymous alt accounts, and only post in helldump. I guarantee you that each one of you in your own lives enjoys something enjoys something, without irony, that is incredibly faggoty, or are complete failures in some aspect in your lives. And if you don't, you're boring. I don't know which is which, but I do know this: you're cowards. But your anonymity and my lack of anonymity doesn't give you power over me. gently caress you.
here is my careful diagnosis of somethingawful after having posted here for 20 days