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I remember the first zoofights, and it was loving awesome. Missed the second, and am now really excited for this!
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Apr 8, 2008 22:44
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I bet on 3.
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Apr 8, 2008 22:55
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Steamcrab will win, based on an argument someone else made, but I provide this: Steamcrab's lack of rage will actually work FOR it in this fight. As the crazed mammoth tries to charge and trample Steamcrab, Steamcrab will remain calm and scuttle around to the side, snapping at the legs of the mammoth. Eventually, the cold and calculating Steamcrab will remove the mammoth's ability to walk and then may disembowel it at its leisure.
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Apr 9, 2008 09:56
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Goreld posted:long post about angry mammoth and I already voted for Steamcrab, but I think this needs to be refuted. You are making the error of assuming that Steamcrab would immediately attack. This is wrong. Being rageless, the crab has no reason to attack. All it has to do is move to the side (which crabs are oh so good at) and wait for the mammoth to either stop and turn around or crash into a wall. At this point, the steam powered claws can snap at the legs of the mammoth. Now I'm not saying he'll try to take off a leg all at once. In fact, that wouldn't work. While the claws could probably crush through the immense mammoth leg, it would take too long. Steamcrab would simply snip at the edges of the leg, slowly weakening it. This will serve to anger the mammoth even more, who will eventually turn and charge again. At which point Steamcrab moves to the side again and follows the mammoth until it runs into a wall or stops to turn and charge again. The pattern is clear, and can only result in a victory for Steamcrab.
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Apr 9, 2008 18:01
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My heart says Manatee, my brain says Tapogres. With a lead suit, it'll only take one solid blow to deform and lock up the leg armor, at which point the manatee is a sitting duck. Or manatee. And what will a chainsaw do when the base of it gets smashed by a club? Tapogres.
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Apr 10, 2008 15:03
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Sirs: What we are dealing with here is a riot. A rabble may be merely a small-scale riot, but it is a riot nonetheless. Some of you may say "But this is not any rabble, it is the Rabble." I must assure you this thinking is utterly misguided. Edward Tigerhands was designed to deal with rabbles, riots, crowds, mobs, and hordes of any sort, but we can see that he thrives on the most vicious. And while this rabble does have a weapon that most do not, namely, an oversized badger, this weapon is simply a pistol that shoots in both directions. From the report itself, we see that the badger is intent on destroying the rabble itself! It is correct to note that the badger does not wish to actually kill the rabble, but only maim its members. Regardless, it is working counter to its own good, especially when we factor in that Edward Tigerhands will also be working to destroy the mob. Once the mob has been eliminated, and it turns into a fight between the badger and Edward Tigerhands, the size difference will be come into its own. While I do admit that badgers are immensely fearsome fighters, a charging rhino presents its own difficulties, and can make the badger's nature work against it. You see, it is known that badgers will fight against much larger foes, because it believes it can win. Thus I predict that the badger, overconfident in its own abilities, and without the self-preservation instinct of the rabble guiding it (as slight as their influence might be), will attempt to stand toe-to-toe with the charging Edward Tigerhands. This can only result in a splattered and impaled badger, and a victory for Edward Tigerhands. Thank you for your time.
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Apr 11, 2008 11:44
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Sirs: It is also important to fully consider that one of the so-called weaknesses of Edward Tigerhands is mostly irrelevant. It was stated that the tigerhands chew slowly. Yet it is unnecessary to eat the rabble and the badger, merely take chunks of flesh. This can be accomplished with a quick bite, tear, and rip. Thus the tigerhands are capable of much more death and incapacitation in a shorter time than many will realize. Edward Tigerhands' advantages continue to grow with more analysis. Thank you for your time.
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Apr 11, 2008 16:19
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I would like to bet on #6
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Apr 13, 2008 21:19
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I will vote for #6, myself.
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Apr 14, 2008 22:18
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Great White Shitkicker cannot fail to win. Its armaments are too powerful, its armor too strong, its mind too insane. Even if by the slimmest of chances the drunks manage to do some sort of damage, it will not be nearly enough. The best chance the drunks have is to blind it somehow, but that would not stop a shark. With lateral lines and an incredible sense of smell, even a blinded Great White Shitkicker would still soundly demolish the two drunkards.
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May 1, 2008 23:38
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 05:29 |
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TheChad posted:Voting Great White Shitkicker for reasons which are quite obvious. I agree with this sentiment 100%. It's pretty easy to go see a couple of drunk guys get into a fight. But a Great White Shitkicker against a Bisoncopter? That's what I want to see here.
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May 2, 2008 10:59
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