'Your Mom Wasn't your Dad's First' fun with Canadian Club ads

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > 'Your Mom Wasn't your Dad's First' fun with Canadian Club ads

Heinekren: Feb 24, 2004; by Fistgrrl

Here in Canada, and perhaps in other markets, Canadian Club Whisky has been running an ad campaign relying on the premise that your Dad used to gently caress a lot of girls. I'm not a marketing wizard, but I've always been under the impression that the less you make a consumer think about their parents loving, the more likely they will buy your product.
Either way, the ads are all about being less of a modern sensitive pussy, and more of a tough dude like your old pop, I guess.

Here's one right here (careful, it's a big .pdf)

They've put an ad-generator on their website, where you can upload one of your own photos. There are three templates to work with. Here's what I came up with, but I'll bet you can do better.

Heinekren fucked around with this message at May 12, 2008 around 15:30

# ? May 8, 2008 03:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jul 23, 2017 20:29

MagicNinja: May 6, 2008

The implication here is that by drinking Canadian Club, you will get chicks like your mom. No thanks.

# ? May 8, 2008 03:25

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; RAGE-A-HOLIC; College Slice

Almost as shocking as the "Your Father Fucks Wallabies" ad campaign by Fosters.

# ? May 8, 2008 03:27

Montesquieu: Apr 28, 2008; look at this witty text

I managed to get a free whisky tumbler out of this ad campaign via bzzagent.com . Free t-shirt too, which is lame, in my opinion (says "drat right, your dad drank it.")

# ? May 8, 2008 03:28

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006

I love the one that's something like "Your dad had a van for a reason." Yeah, they probably mean a Shaggin' Wagon but nowadays that makes it sound like he was a pedophile or a sniper.

Mine was both. I hate my father. gently caress Canadian Club.

# ? May 8, 2008 03:33

KillerTwinkie: Sep 11, 2003; I swear it wasn't me...

# ? May 8, 2008 03:36

Grue Bouncer: Nov 19, 2002; don't fuck you me, you

# ? May 8, 2008 04:04

Mog: Nov 23, 2006; Pillbug

A framed printout of one of these will make an excellent gift for my half-brother.

# ? May 8, 2008 04:04

Manny Calavera: Apr 2, 2004; From rock and tempest, fire and foe,
Protect them wheresoe'er they go;
Thus evermore shall rise to Thee
Glad hymns of praise from land and sea

# ? May 8, 2008 04:07

Lacerta: Oct 16, 2005; Baby, tonight the world belongs to you and I.

I honestly thought the ad was implying that your father slept with men first. He's just cuddling up to that other guy.

# ? May 8, 2008 04:09

spandexcajun: Feb 28, 2005; Suck the head for a little extra cajun flavor; Fallen Rib

Love ya pops.

# ? May 8, 2008 04:16

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; holy shit this os has cinepak?!?!?

I'm kind of interpreting it to mean that your dad likes Canadian Club so much that he had sex with it (kinda like "if you like x so much, why don't you marry it?).

# ? May 8, 2008 05:16

pandafan: Jul 19, 2007

# ? May 8, 2008 05:26

nice mattimer: Mar 3, 2008; the wind that shakes the buttcheeks

Canadian Club is the worst poo poo I've ever drank in my life

# ? May 8, 2008 05:35

ShockLobster: Mar 3, 2008

pandafan posted:

HE loving GOT AWAY WITH IT

Sublime.

# ? May 8, 2008 05:39

Mein Eyes!: Apr 15, 2002; arf bark woof

pandafan posted:

Awesome. Also echoing that Canadian Club is awful. If anyone knows of a good whisky coming out of Canada, I'll try it just to change my view of what is true in the world.

# ? May 8, 2008 05:45

nice mattimer: Mar 3, 2008; the wind that shakes the buttcheeks

Wisers is pretty good, but as far as I know it's only available in the west.

# ? May 8, 2008 05:47

Bieeardo: Aug 21, 2000; Someone bold, someone blue, someone borrowed, someone new...; Grimey Drawer

Lobok posted:

I love the one that's something like "Your dad had a van for a reason." Yeah, they probably mean a Shaggin' Wagon but nowadays that makes it sound like he was a pedophile or a sniper.

Mine was both. I hate my father. gently caress Canadian Club.

The first time I saw that ad downtown, I thought it was put up by MADD or something.

# ? May 8, 2008 05:55

Scrape: Apr 10, 2007; i've been sharpening a knife in the bathroom.

dropping in to say that i don't mind canadian club at all, it's got a nice oaky kinda aftertaste and it's smooth as hell.

just saying.

# ? May 8, 2008 05:56

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006

Just saw this over at Torontoist: http://torontoist.com/2008/05/any_club_that_w.php

# ? May 8, 2008 06:26

Shoot The Bear: Apr 20, 2008

Hey man, don't diss all of Canada's liquor. In Newfoundland they make this wonderful thing called Screech. It's like drinking gasoline its so potent. They even hold ceremonies for those that are brave enough to try it, its called 'screeching'. One shot of it and I was already feeling tipsy.

# ? May 8, 2008 07:28

Huckleduck: May 20, 2007; giving you the hucklebuck

OP - from the picture, it appears that your dad's friend was your dad's "first." His male friend. His male friend with the neck beard. If that's what Canadian Club does, I want none of it.

# ? May 8, 2008 07:41

phoenix012345: Nov 6, 2007; by Ozma

Shoot The Bear posted:

Hey man, don't diss all of Canada's liquor. In Newfoundland they make this wonderful thing called Screech. It's like drinking gasoline its so potent. They even hold ceremonies for those that are brave enough to try it, its called 'screeching'. One shot of it and I was already feeling tipsy.

Corn whiskey from the southern States is about as close to pure alcohol as you can get.

# ? May 8, 2008 07:46

Sakamonster: Dec 6, 2006; by Tiny Fistpump

pandafan posted:

whoa whoa I am lolling.

This is seriously a bad advertising campaign, but these posters are golden

# ? May 8, 2008 07:49

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; The world no longer makes sense, but it is far more interesting.; Fun Shoe

Lacerta posted:

I honestly thought the ad was implying that your father slept with men first. He's just cuddling up to that other guy.

Huckleduck posted:

OP - from the picture, it appears that your dad's friend was your dad's "first." His male friend. His male friend with the neck beard. If that's what Canadian Club does, I want none of it.

That's pretty much his point, yes.

# ? May 8, 2008 07:59

nice mattimer: Mar 3, 2008; the wind that shakes the buttcheeks

Is that a young Bubbles in the OP?

# ? May 8, 2008 08:03

WingsOfSteel: Nov 13, 2007; Even Dr. Octopus can learn something from the Internet!

Quick, dirty, and the obvious joke.

# ? May 8, 2008 08:06

FeedbackBsr: Apr 26, 2007

# ? May 8, 2008 08:12

Fair Hallion: Jul 25, 2007

KillerTwinkie posted:

gently caress, John C Reilly has really let himself go.

# ? May 8, 2008 08:37

Straker: Nov 10, 2005; by Ralp

Mein Eyes! posted:

Awesome. Also echoing that Canadian Club is awful. If anyone knows of a good whisky coming out of Canada, I'll try it just to change my view of what is true in the world.

Americans buy tons of our Crown Royal, not sure if it's any good or if people are dumb or just buy it for the free velvet bag or what though

# ? May 8, 2008 08:51

Penguin Radar: Oct 22, 2005

Months too late

# ? May 8, 2008 09:43

Elbonio: Dec 20, 2006; "EEETAAALAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Elbonio fucked around with this message at May 8, 2008 around 09:55

# ? May 8, 2008 09:46

Ana: Oct 15, 2004; Turn a blind eye

Elbonio posted:

mothefucking OUCH!

# ? May 8, 2008 10:06

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004; College Slice

Elbonio posted:

Ohhhh that is loving brutal and I'm going to hell for laughing at it.

# ? May 8, 2008 10:11

BiggusDickus: Apr 18, 2008

*edit* Cleaned up version.

BiggusDickus fucked around with this message at May 8, 2008 around 10:40

# ? May 8, 2008 10:19

bandaid: Jan 13, 2008

phoenix012345 posted:

Corn whiskey from the southern States is about as close to pure alcohol as you can get.

Oh god, I got a bottle of that last weekend, it was called Georgia Moon, and came in a mason jar. Granted it was store bought, but it still caused all sorts of troubles

# ? May 8, 2008 10:20