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an omnibus
Jun 11, 2001
The internet is old enough now that there are times when, even if I google a lot or use archive.org, I can't find some piece of junk I used to love.

For instance, I'm looking for a really stupid old mp3 that was an X-Files techno remix. I don't remember much from it, except that at one point the "composer" cut together audio from scully saying: "MULDER! MULDER! (We are not alone.) MULDER! MULDER! (We are not alone.)" If anyone has this mp3, I'd love a copy.

What other random internet crap have you lost? It's gotta be out there somewhere. I'll try to help locate stuff too, although the most obscure thing I have is TAOC TEH WODNER DOUGH's noonecouldgetin.mp3 -- which everyone here probably has.

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Huge Fucker Bitch
Jan 8, 2004
Oh hey, this thread again!

fist4jesus
Nov 24, 2002
I want a full copy of workplaceabuse.com - the sex doll story.

bob the therapy dog
Oct 19, 2008

by Livestock
http://members.tripod.com/~anon27/XSpaceboy1/sam.html

Some dude's website from 1996 where he writes about how great his favorite band, the Smashing Pumpkins are. It's kind of creepy because apparently the reason that he hasn't updated his site recently is because he's in prison for raping and killing an 11-year old child.

mundermensch
Aug 24, 2003
Ibex
There was some video about aliens invading Earth and basically being a bunch of third-worlders despite their psychic abilities and such. It was shot as either a documentary or newscast, can't really remember which, and was pretty realistic looking.

Joey_Redd
Jun 12, 2008
Find me bonzi buddy

Joey_Redd fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Nov 9, 2008

Silent Movie
Jul 23, 2007

bob the therapy dog posted:

http://members.tripod.com/~anon27/XSpaceboy1/sam.html

Some dude's website from 1996 where he writes about how great his favorite band, the Smashing Pumpkins are. It's kind of creepy because apparently the reason that he hasn't updated his site recently is because he's in prison for raping and killing an 11-year old child.
There's two Sam Manzies: one who raped & killed an 11-year-old and one who was molested by a 43-year-old woman at age 15. Creepy.

Joey_Redd
Jun 12, 2008

Silent Movie posted:

There's two Sam Manzies: one who raped & killed an 11-year-old and one who was molested by a 43-year-old woman at age 15. Creepy.

Same person.

leor
Jul 3, 2008

bob the therapy dog posted:

http://members.tripod.com/~anon27/XSpaceboy1/sam.html

Some dude's website from 1996 where he writes about how great his favorite band, the Smashing Pumpkins are. It's kind of creepy because apparently the reason that he hasn't updated his site recently is because he's in prison for raping and killing an 11-year old child.

Oh god.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,987156-1,00.html

I read that page before reading your blurb under it. It's so bizarre - the page was last updated in 1997, probably only months before he killed some kid.

gruvmeister
Dec 28, 2006

Spring has sprung,
The grass has riz,
I wonder where the flowers is

Time posted:


http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,987156-1,00.html

The dual tragedy in Jackson Township, a New York City suburb of 36,000, cut to parents' worst fears about how much freedom they can really afford children to roam sidewalks or cyberspace. Community members and the local press were quick to ascribe larger blame for the horrid crime. Shouldn't the unregulated Internet be made accountable?

Let's sue the Internet! It lets those drat kids run around unregulated all up its cyberspace, raping and killing each other.

Ahh... 1997. Back before Internet was even a household word. "The Internet? Sure I've got Compuserve, my number is 8044623, message me sometime!"

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

mundermensch posted:

There was some video about aliens invading Earth and basically being a bunch of third-worlders despite their psychic abilities and such. It was shot as either a documentary or newscast, can't really remember which, and was pretty realistic looking.

That's the Neill Blomkamp's film, Alive in Joberg.

Now, can somebody find the old flash animation "Blind Man's Penis" for me. I think a goon did it, and it had this animated nude guy with a picture of Stevie Wonder as his face as he hosed aliens and Hitler. There's a Boing Boing article on it, which gives the last known link of the movie.

leor
Jul 3, 2008

Young Freud posted:

That's the Neill Blomkamp's film, Alive in Joberg.

Now, can somebody find the old flash animation "Blind Man's Penis" for me. I think a goon did it, and it had this animated nude guy with a picture of Stevie Wonder as his face as he hosed aliens and Hitler. There's a Boing Boing article on it, which gives the last known link of the movie.

http://web.archive.org/web/20030417093433/http://users3.ev1.net/~rootstudio/flash/blindman.htm

Darkstitch
Dec 10, 2006

Humming the Bassline
I remember back in the day, there was an entire section on New Grounds devoted to killing Pokemon, and Britney Spears.

I really want to play House of the Dead with Pokemon zombies again.

rivid
Jul 17, 2005

Matt 24:44
On Napster there used to be a MP3 that was a fake Dreamcast ad. It had some announcer talking about this new game with Pam Anderson in it our something and a kid yelling "I'm a virgin!". Hah, try finding that!

Xankrys
Jul 26, 2006

Four Sheets to the Wind in Copenhagen

bob the therapy dog posted:

http://members.tripod.com/~anon27/XSpaceboy1/sam.html

Some dude's website from 1996 where he writes about how great his favorite band, the Smashing Pumpkins are. It's kind of creepy because apparently the reason that he hasn't updated his site recently is because he's in prison for raping and killing an 11-year old child.

This guy was my friend's neighbor...he was really off, and everyone knew it, but no one ever thought he'd go quite so batshit.

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008

Well I have a nice tough one if anyone is up to the challenge.


Back when the PS2 and Xbox were coming out I found a interesting movie. It was a parody of the old Final Fantasy's with the consoles as the main characters and enemies. It looked like a old Super Nintendo RPG. It was a pretty long animation and I found it on either a Korean or Japanese site that I found through another link.


If you could find this little treasure you would have a nice surprise since it is a good movie.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Darkstitch posted:

I remember back in the day, there was an entire section on New Grounds devoted to killing Pokemon, and Britney Spears.

I really want to play House of the Dead with Pokemon zombies again.

They still have all that.
http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/assassin
http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/pokemon
http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/britneyspears

RFisk
Aug 19, 2003
the looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Around maybe 2000 - 2002 or so, I remember having had this egg-shaped client that downloaded funny flash videos and flash games and stuff. It had a name and some of the flash videos had a recurring character, Hubert (I think), doing all sorts of stuff. The whole thing was probably a step beneath Bonzi Buddy in terms of spying on you, but I was young and as I remember it, most was pretty funny.

What was that program called??

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006


Flash link is broken. And it did confirm that rootstudio.org is his new site, but there's no navigation on that page. :(

cancertoast
Aug 28, 2002
I have been searching for the funny internet mini-movie about racing for go kart pink slips. It came out around the time of "I'm going to gently caress your mother," I think. I can not remember the title for the life of me.

Banjo Bones
Mar 28, 2003

There was a youtube video of this guy saying "My fellow goons..." and then going off about lowtax or something it was funny does anyone remember this

Smeep
Jan 20, 2004

What ever happened to Dan's Gallery of the Grotesque?

Pulled Pork Taco
Mar 27, 2008
Ages ago, mid to late 90s, there was a website called Top-N off some university guy's space. The concept was you could either create a concept for a list of top 10s (only not limited to 10) a la David Letterman, or add items to an existing list.

Some of the lists were absolutely hilarious. All I can remember is that the website owner was named Mike. It's only going to exist on some kind of archive but I can't find the right place to search for it.

AN AOL CHAT ROOM
Feb 22, 2003

Power-shovelling fat turds into my cock busted syphilitic maw. Like a fat cunt shovels doughnuts. The resulting turds from my hemorrhoid infested goat fucked ass are pure gold compared to my shitting posts.
mp3.com had a lot of great bands / songs. I remember one band called The Masons of Fish On Toast who wrote this really great song called "One Hundred Dollars" that sounded exactly like something you'd hear in a tavern. Another artist called Doktor Barkey had a great acoustic song called "Smokin' and Thinkin'" and the chorus was "Stuck my hand down the back of my pants / thought about the girl on the telephone". Jeff Hollander (This Wine is Mine) had a ten-minute song called "Do You Feel Glorious?" and it was so happy and upbeat throughout. And finally, there was this crazy group(?) called Mom And Dad and their songs were so uninhibited and spastic and honest, I remember one song entitled "And All Of Her Lovers" which sounded like the Muppet Babies took a lot of meth and recorded themselves beating each other. All this would have been back in 2000/2001 right before mp3.com closed shop for a while before opening back up again.

Gherkin Jerkin
Jan 22, 2006

With great power, comes great crunchability...

Mr Hootington posted:

Well I have a nice tough one if anyone is up to the challenge.


Back when the PS2 and Xbox were coming out I found a interesting movie. It was a parody of the old Final Fantasy's with the consoles as the main characters and enemies. It looked like a old Super Nintendo RPG. It was a pretty long animation and I found it on either a Korean or Japanese site that I found through another link.


If you could find this little treasure you would have a nice surprise since it is a good movie.

Here ya go. The english version is here: http://www.dontpressstart.com/pro/SF6/

And here's the website it was originally found on (doesn't work for me): http://www.hcn.zaq.ne.jp/cabic508/rsf/sf6.html

Wuvviekins
Oct 9, 2007
There's this mp3 I think about sometimes...

The artist was a (white? I think?) female rapper. I seem to remember her having ridiculous hair like red dreadlocks or something. I recall her voice being abrasive and the lyrics being really poorly written (but hilarious). The song that sticks out in my mind was something about a garbage can or a dumpster...? Her website was really hideous and offensive in that distinctively late '90s way and I sort of remember it including her ranting about a bunch of people she didn't like.

This probably sounds really generic, but it was abut the most over-the-top thing ever. If this sounds familiar to any one I would love to get my hands on the mp3 or at least find out the name of the artist. I remember having a really good laugh.

Twinty Zuleps
May 10, 2008

by R. Guyovich
Lipstick Apathy

Mr Hootington posted:

Well I have a nice tough one if anyone is up to the challenge.


Back when the PS2 and Xbox were coming out I found a interesting movie. It was a parody of the old Final Fantasy's with the consoles as the main characters and enemies. It looked like a old Super Nintendo RPG. It was a pretty long animation and I found it on either a Korean or Japanese site that I found through another link.


If you could find this little treasure you would have a nice surprise since it is a good movie.

http://sf456.hp.infoseek.co.jp/sf4.html
http://sf456.hp.infoseek.co.jp/sf5.html
http://www.dontpressstart.com/pro/SF6/

These them?

horribleslob
Nov 23, 2004
Rise, my minions, riiiise!

typedef
Jan 6, 2001

by Ozma
A long time ago someone posted an mp3 file here (I think the filename was angrydad.mp3) of a dude who seems to be strung out on methamphetamine calling Adobe technical support and destroying his computer as he talks to the support technician. Does anyone still have it?

Pudgygiant
Apr 8, 2004

Garnet and black? More like gold and blue or whatever the fuck colors these are
Anyone have that "what if real life was like an fps" movie? I remember it as being hilarious. The one where the guy lags down his stairs, and he runs around crouching?

Secret Sweater
Oct 17, 2005
dup
A video that pre-dated the juggernaut bitch video featuring an overdubbed version of He-Man. The main character was always featured as gay. I believe I saw it on milkandcookies, but have never been able to find it. It actually had decent production value and was not unfunny 14-year-olds going to town on their computer mic.

Secret Sweater fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Nov 9, 2008

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
^^ are you talking about that squid guy? Jeff " Garsh I'm high" Gelud?


what about that little flash video with the vikings sailing around and rocking out and they encounter a demon and they start rock-battling and then the ship turns into a big robot and they rock that demons rear end

Gun Metal Cray
Apr 27, 2005

Pillbug

Johnny Aztec posted:

^^ are you talking about that squid guy? Jeff " Garsh I'm high" Gelud?


what about that little flash video with the vikings sailing around and rocking out and they encounter a demon and they start rock-battling and then the ship turns into a big robot and they rock that demons rear end

You mean this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spyPFcRTPIM

Squallege
Jan 7, 2006

No greater good, no just cause

Grimey Drawer
Some guy made some songs with Bonzi Buddy rapping in his monotone voice. I thought they were gret for some reason. Anyone know where it is?

The Twinkie Czar
Dec 31, 2004
I went for super stud.

an omnibus posted:

For instance, I'm looking for a really stupid old mp3 that was an X-Files techno remix. I don't remember much from it, except that at one point the "composer" cut together audio from scully saying: "MULDER! MULDER! (We are not alone.) MULDER! MULDER! (We are not alone.)" If anyone has this mp3, I'd love a copy.

That sounds like the P.M. Dawn Remix of the X-Files theme from Songs in the Key of X.

murdered by owls
Jun 12, 2006

Mourners omit feathers.
Years ago, there was a station on the original MP3.com that listed the "100 Worst Songs of All Time." One of the songs listed was called "Prit Stik" by the band of the same name. It was, without a doubt, the most compellingly horrible piece of recorded music I had ever heard. I've searched for this song in vain for years, but the band has of course long since disappeared.

I'm not sure why I want to hear it again, other than to say that it's the same morbid compulsion that makes me click on links that say, "If you value your sanity, do not click this link."

The Postman
May 12, 2007

A while back there was a YTMND page with the title "Captain Jean WARIO of the U.S.S. PENIS" and it featured some little boy shouting WARIO and whispering PENIS.

If anyone could somehow find the sound from this, I'd love it!

King Carnivore
Dec 17, 2007

Graveyard Disciple
There used to be this series of really cool flash cartoons, ages ago, called Joe Paradise, and I haven't been able to find it recently, anyone know what I'm talking about?

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

John Xerox posted:

You mean this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spyPFcRTPIM

Yah, that's it. It's pretty boss.

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NET WT 30 OZ
Apr 12, 2003

YES
whatever happened to obfuscation.org/textfiles ?

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