oh my god this is a thanksgiving miracle

jesus h poo poo, carved the fgucking turkey i spent eons slaving over in a hot kitchen... wtf where is my stuffing? this is a dog inside my entire turkey???... and now they're thousands

DOG F.A.Q.s:

Q. It's the middle of the night and I'm suddenly overcome by that "wet dog" smell, even though nobody in my apartment complex has a dog. What should I do?

A. If you smell them then they can smell you. It is too late.

Q. Okay, but what do I do

A. Cower.

Q. Thanks.

The universe is in heat death, in a last ditch attempt to save themselves, the whole of humanity has banded together in an effort to jettison the entirety of the worlds dog population, an estimated 300 billion trillion canines, into the dying sun, providing it a modicum of expendable energy with which to prolong the eventual collapse of life sustaining sunlight. There was but a single problem with their plan, despite the global coalitions decades of work, the dogs had been prepared. On the day before the launch, every last man woman and child on EArth was simultaneously rocketed into the stratosphere, out of earth orbit and into the growing Red Giant. Had there been a single human left to do so, they would have endlessly wondered how the dogs had done it.

Fire rained from the sky, ash and smoldering debris formed a viscous coat of disgusting filth across the entire earth, here and there thousands of corpses could be seen, suffocated or immolated by the holocaust that had wiped out 99.99% of the worlds population. Humanity was not the only one to suffer of course, all manner of animals, plants, insects, invertebrates, and what have you were similarly exterminated. Decades later, when humanity had begun to rebuild its once global empire, many debated possibly solutions to the mystery that had plauged them since the first survivor had stood up from the rubble. Why had there been no dog corpses found?

A Harvard scholar announced today a major breakthrough in the deciphering of the rune based written language of the pre-historical Nordic peoples. Long though to be called Ragnarok, this Viking story of the apocalypse has been incorectly translated for decades. The first rune, RA, was confused with a very similarly written rune, DO.

bump/goldmine

One Hundred Thousand Million Billion Trillion dogs live on the planet Earth.

Nothing else does.

hahahhaa

dogs. where did dog come from. who made them? DougDrafto,

A man on a pier looked left and right, thousands of miles in either direction the sea stretched. On the horizon a single point of light could be seen, the setting sun reflecting off of... something. Minutes passed and the object got closer, through a pair of extremely high powered binoculars, the man on the pier could almost make it out. The light was perilously low, however, and he feared it would be extinquished before the object was close enough to be properly inspected from this distance. Just before the sun dipped below the edge of the world, the man realized what he was looking at, it was a dog, on a small raft. The dog sat at attention, like any properly trained pooch would, it faced directly toward the man, a single point in a vast ocean. The sun was almost gone now, another few seconds and it would be night. Just as the last flicker sunk into the waves, the man noticed something. His entire field of vision was now dotted with silhouettes. "My God" the man whispered, "There must be thousands", dogs, more than thousands, much much more, were cresting the horizon, a night landing was about to take place.

lmao

a tentacle of fused, squirming puppies wraps around my ankle and lowers me into the abyss. for a long moment all is dark before a sea of stars appears, and in another moment i realize that i am looking at the reflected light from a thousand thousand eyes. immediately the full force of the dogmind is assaulting my consciousness, and my psyche can no more hold against that terrible strength than a spider's web could stop a charging bull. only a split second passes before my will and selfhood is destroyed, and the dogmind learns the secret location of the last remaining pocket of human resistance

i sit in the center of the human high council, buried deep beneath the earth's surface. "well?" asks the elder. "was your mission a success? did you learn their weakness?"

i open my mouth to answer, but cannot. the council watches in horror as my body jerks and twitches, blood running from my eyes, nose, and ears, before i burst open in a showever of viscera and dozens, hundreds, thousands of yapping dogs pour from my shredded corpse

nightmares...sleep impossible!

ferrinus owns

sirens blare throughout the stronghold, and jackbooted shocktroops storm down the corridors. "security breach. security breach." the speakers say, in the dispassionate voice of the defense computer. "code one four eight. code one four eight." which was one four eight? dogs in the air ducts? the howlers? the puppyflood? i couldn't remember, so i just hid, clutching my family tightly and cowering in my room. the walls and door were solid steel, every possible entrance was locked and bolted, no passageway between our shelter and the rest of the complex was large enough to allow the passage of anything larger than a dust mite. surely we were safe.

surely we were safe, i thought, until i watched the cold white must seep in under the door, and rise up to coalesce into the shape of a great black hound with gleaming fangs and burning scarlet eyes

._. the dog cave http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45vI_EN1pZ4

i awaken. i don't know it at the moment, but this day marks my fourth straight year of existing in the dogscape. i push myself up from the carpet of writhing, twitching dogflesh beneath me and rise to my feet, stretching in the morning sun. it took me a while to learn to balance on the layer of solid dogs that now blankets every inch of solid ground, but nowadays i can walk and run as easily and as fast as i ever did on soil or concrete. perhaps faster.

this was a city once, i think, though which one i can't remember. i only owe my guess to the massive pillars of dogs jutting into the sky, perhaps ancient buildings now completely filled and overgrown by canine biomatter. i climbed one once, sinking my fingers and toes deep into the dogwall to gain purchase, and after hours and hours of climbing was rewarded with an incredible vista - fur and eyes, panting tongues and wagging tails, hugging the contours of the once-barren land and stretching in a single aeomebic mass farther than the eye can see.

now i don't do that, though. now i merely go about my day. i hike to the Gardens, where the dogplants sprout up in bizarre shapes from the floor of the dogscape, and reach up to pluck the fetal puppyfruits right off the wagging, energetic branches. i bite into the succulent flesh, the juices dribbling down my chin and dripping down to be reabsorbed by the groundflesh, and revel in the savory taste. i'm thirsty, so i range until i find one of the Mothermounds, and there i suckle at a teatpatch until i've had my fill of milk. sometimes i see other humans around me, as well-adapted to the dogscape as i am, but i barely acknowledge them, say nothing. what, after all, is there to say? the world is different now - what meaning would our old words have?

free-ranging dogs are becoming rarer and rarer to see now, and those i do see seem as lost, as passive as i am. they too graze on the dogplants, step carefully over the undulating, bleeding dogfloor, dimly acknowledge myself and one another. in the distant sky, and on the far horizon, i sometimes see massive forms sail or crawl or undulate, and i wonder if in this new world normal, singular, ambulatory dogs have become as obsolete as i am

dog... tortilla?? o____O

dogs are the loving dumps!!!! cats 4ever quote this if you down

^^^^^ look at this fucken nooblet ^^^^^^ that guy does not own ^^^^^^^^^^

"surf's up!" i cry, before grabbing my surfboard and running into the dogsea. full-grown canines, packed tightly together, make up the solid ground of the dogscape, but the bodies of water are huge rolling masses of tiny puppies, light, soft, and unconnected in such a way as to allow one to stride or even swim through them. i ford through the tiny, yipping creatures, grinning with anticipation at the massive puppywave that only now begins to crest, and hop up on my board to ride it back to shore, laughing and whooping all the while. the stars went out long ago

farrinus and joghansavoir are cool but dogs < cats

i dug down once. down beneath the dogs. beneath the hair and the ears and the barking. it was hard, and took a lot of planning - i had to destroy one of the dogtrees with my hands, rip out the twisted, yards-long communal spines that served them as branches and lash them together with tendons and skin. but soon i had tools - pitchforks, spears, shovels. i picked a spot where the dogfloor seemed shallower and set to work.

the blood started spurting when my spear first broke the surface, and didn't stop for hours and hours and hours. i was drenched in gore and viscera, covered in flecks of bone and meat and brain. but i learned to ignore the sickening squelching sounds, ward off the smell, and just kept going deeper and deeper, spearing and levering out dogs of stranger and stranger size and build, dogs with two heads, dogs with human hands, dogs with writhing tentacles where their back legs should be

eventually i came to the end of the dogs. or perhaps the beginning of whatever lies beyond dogs. an expanse of multicolored, patchwork fur that extended as far as i could dig in any direction. i could pierce it with great difficulty but it barely bled, and try as i might i could only barely peel the skin away, revealing a layer of striated greyish muscle beneath. it started to tremble as i watched it, shaking the very dogmatter around me, and i realized that the dogscape was beginning to regenerate itself, close in over me, seal me in - so i fled, climbing back up into the light

ingwit and ferrinus thread hijacks are the best threads

it's an actual ad you dumb faggots were you honestly under the delusion that fyad somehow had some creative hand in this meme

the thing still shows up on cnn.com i mean jesus CHROist

this is prob the best thing ever written in history

didnt read

go back to gbs

you really should though

this owns ferrinous owns jonnysavoia owns dogs own everything in every direction