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Oh our helpdesk.. Summary reporing their cows and c5 are not working on 4N Description reporte cows have black screen and not coming on. reporting C5s are not charging and won't function. not any one partuclar cow or C5. no IT#### given. ext 4494 ( COW = computer on wheels the cart pc's hospitals use) I ran up there thinking a WAP had croaked only to find out that 2 of the C5's weren't turned on, another needed a reboot, and they forgot to charge the cows 
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Aug 14, 2009 14:06
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 03:20 |
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Our nurses straight up abuse tablets and cows. I've got a C5 on my desk that not only did they bust the screen's glass plate, but busted the LCD under it.
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Aug 14, 2009 14:31
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Considering that we run Cerner over a remote citrix farm, that may very well be true br
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Aug 14, 2009 15:05
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Yay. The helpdesk has gone to an all new low in loving uselessnes. Even with full access to RDP and remote assistance they are too lazy to map a network printer. Summary printing online evaluation going to msoft image writer ne01 Description she has printed the onliine evaluation and it says it is going to image writer ne01. she shcked in the printers/faxes and her printer is there and checked as the default printer. That's all the guy did before sending to my queue. Word 'round the campfire is the CIO is not happy with their call resolution rate ( around 40%), so maybe something will be done. There's a middle manager between the top and the helpdesk manager( dumbest bitch on the planet) and I am pretty sure either he's loving her or she has a photo of the middle manager with farm animals. It's been going on forever, they gently caress up constantly, but never get any poo poo for it, but if we so much as fart in the wrong direction, there's paperwork coming your way.
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Aug 14, 2009 15:20
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Caged posted:Can you not just send it straight back into L1s queue? Or is that one of those farting the wrong way scenarios? We are no longer allowed to send tickets back to them because of the helpdesk manager complaining about it. My boss hates them more than I do, but that fuckhead in the middle is the problem.
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Aug 14, 2009 16:23
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Oh god Remedy... Our's isnt much better, Unicenter. We spent half a million on this implementation and didn't bother to get the asset tracking bit It's funny as hell that most of the screenshots in here are all grainy because nobody is going to run their pirated photoshop on a work pc  EDIT: God look how stupid I am. forgot one Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Aug 14, 2009 |
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Aug 14, 2009 17:56
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We run a dinky little utility called PrintKey 2000 that comes in handy.
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Aug 14, 2009 23:40
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Due to a total lack of accountability, our helpdesk just stopped caring. Summary TMB...her pc is not connecting to citrix server Description she ahs rebooted several times and checked connections. Had her right click on the blue icon and everything there was grayed out. Anytime I see the phrase "she ahs rebooted several times and checked connections" I KNOW the helpdesk is lying. quote:08/17/2009 10:17 am 00:00:00 Field Update They lied about even attempting to collect information or do any troubleshooting, didn't fill in the category on the tickets ( something my group gets yelled at over ), and pissed the customer off by not even trying to help, which, of course I will forward to the management, which will end up on the desk of the middle support division manager who's either loving or being blackmailed by the helpdesk manager and nothing will come of it. I'm just a little bitter
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Aug 17, 2009 15:31
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meltie posted:Porn? Wouldn't that use more red?
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Aug 17, 2009 21:09
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coyo7e posted:Computer setup today for a woman who I barely know the name of, whose teenage son died of leukemia a couple/few months ago. She is back at work now, and I'm settnig up her computer.. While she's near to tears and talking at me about her grief counseling, the stuff her son used to do on the computer, how hard it is to stay on task without something reminding her of him.. I get those pretty regularily working for a hospital. I was walking into the ICU with a motherboard in my hand destined for yet another Dell GX270 that blew it's capacitors, and some poor poor lady was outside the ICU having just missed the visitation hours with a look of grief on her face that will haunt me forever. She didn't say anything to me when I popped the door open, but her eyes were just pleading to let her in. Being a big softie that I am, but not being able to let her into the unit without getting in big trouble, I just looked at her, popped the top from a pen in my pocket and ever-so-slightly propped the door open so the magnetic locks didnt engauge and went about my business. About the time I got the motherboard changed, I saw her crying on a nurse's shoulder on my way out. One of the most  things I have seen in this place.That's just one of the things about being in a hospital. It doesn't matter whether or not you are a doctor, a nurse, a janitor, or an IT guy, if they are really distressed or lost, they see a <insert hospital name here> namebadge you are their savior. It gets pretty hairy sometimes, but I don't mind. Hell, people aren't in a hospital because they want to be. Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Aug 19, 2009 |
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Aug 19, 2009 04:14
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CitizenKain posted:Because they are HP and are riding on the coat-tails of having a good name brand. Why bother fixing anything when people will buy anything they stamp their name onto because everyone remembers the awesome HP from years ago. I swear everything HP has made since the 4250/4350 has been pure poo poo. We still have a bunch of old rear end HP4's that are just bulletproof.
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Sep 3, 2009 18:35
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TokenBrit posted:If it makes HP users feel better, I've found I can actually crash a Xerox printer (needs a hard reset after) by using the wrong drivers from CUPS. Fine, it's unexpected input but that should be handled. When we swapped some of our HP's out for Ricoh MP's someone forgot to update the PCL driver on the print server for one of them and a user spit 3 reams of garbage through it before they realized what was going on
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Sep 3, 2009 23:35
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We have a house full of medical doctors that can't run Outlook without an icon called "Email". Even with it being a problematic pain in the rear end, we run the single signon option in Xenapp, as well as a desktop shortcut to the Nfuse box. I get tickets every day for things like " my icons disappeared " because our helpdesk is too stupid/lazy ( pick one) to have someone do an application refresh. What's really loving sad is this hospital pays the helldesk more than they do the desktop guys but no one is allowed to send tickets back to them for incomplete information.
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Sep 7, 2009 01:55
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Sir Nigel posted:Flatten and reinstall from ghost image if you're doing it right. gently caress trying to fight spy/ad/malware and trojans and the like. I pretty much live by this. If you have spyware on your PC, 99% of the time it's something you did that you shouldn't have been, therefore any and all data on that pc is possibly infected and I will be ghosting it. Scorch Earth policy for virii/spyware should be a standard. Unfortunately, you cant be like that when it comes to the executive types, but the Ghost User settings transfer utility works pretty well and/or just pulling the desktop, fav's, and docs folders out of the user profile and scan the poo poo out of them. Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Sep 10, 2009 |
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Sep 10, 2009 15:14
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Crowley posted:Remember the wallpaper, and they will never know the difference. Ours are controlled by group policy 
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Sep 10, 2009 15:38
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I'd hate to go all BOFH and set the company background to a CCTV still shot of what happened in the boardroom after the company "Holidy" party last year. Shortly before I am stuffing my things in a box and being dragged out by security
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Sep 10, 2009 16:41
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Speaking of BOFH Simon Travaglia needs to put out some more columns. The latest on on the register is about 6 weeks old . I need my fix man.
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Sep 10, 2009 18:05
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I was joking about the video part. If such a piece existed, I would have blackmailed my way to CIO by now.
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Sep 10, 2009 18:16
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The poo poo truth about a virus/spyware infestation is that OS will never be right again. Unless you're an analyst for Symantec, most run of the mill It folks won't be able to find all the back doors that infestation opened up.
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Sep 10, 2009 23:35
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If it's really infested ( very rare in our environment ), and if I'm feeling generous, I'll pull their user profile out and restore it after a pantload of scanning. The rest can burn. If they have conflicker, it all burns.
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Sep 11, 2009 14:47
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Haha ^^ You have the healthy cynicism of a true computing professional.
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Sep 11, 2009 15:45
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I got one right before I left work today. Now, I usually don't get too pissed about stupid users, however our completely loving worthless helpdesk, who actually get paid more than the desktop guys have me pouring a couple VERY generous shots of Jameson right now.quote:Description: User's MSWord keeps closing itself out when she closes a document, please assist. The goddamn ticket didn't have a phone number, a machine name, or a location. Our machine names are on every PC on a big rear end white label. Now, our Helpdesk has rights to use remote assistance. They have rights to use RDP. They have rights to browse the default shares on the domain PC's. Guess what the problem was.... quote:Solution: Called user to get the machine name and location. Had to look her up in outlook for a phone number. Got on remote assistance and showed the user how to click the close document X in MSword and not the Big Red X in the top corner of the screen. And I get zinged for being mean in tickets on top of the rest of this poo poo.  That "help"desk is best described as 12 answering machines with a faulty write head. Every time I have brought up their complete incompetence, I'd get zinged by the management for not being a team player. I swear to God that helpdesk manager oval office is loving someone high up. If they're not even going to try to troubleshoot( which I've been told that don't have to even though they make more than the desktop guys ) they goddamn well better have the pertinent information in that ticket. On top of the rest of that frustration, everyone but them are being time tracked on resolutions. All I can really do ( and have been doing so) is inflating time spent fields in tickets by a factor of 10 logged under "collecting information", since the CIO is apparently an ITIL junkie.
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Sep 11, 2009 23:45
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Midelne posted:I'M A PEOPLE PERSON. I DEAL WITH THE CUSTOMERS SO THE ENGINEERS DON'T HAVE TO. DON'T YOU GET THAT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Seems that way except I have to deal with the customers anyway after they are already annoyed by calling someone who makes a few grunting noises and doesn't attempt to help them. At one point I was on the level 1 Helpdesk for Citrix Systems, and the expectation was, if it's not an outage or a hardware problem, you need to loving fix over the phone or remotely. Sending up a hardware call better have had some troubleshooting steps in it as well. Seriously these loving people are too lazy to ping.
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Sep 12, 2009 00:42
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afflictionwisp posted:My anger and confusion at her behavior is tempered by the fact that I secretly want her to irrevocably break the server. It is old and I've wanted to replace it for about 2 years, but no one has ever wanted to spend the money. This way she would HAVE to be fired, and I get to replace that poo poo server. Everyone who matters wins. Rubber mallet on 3 of the 5 raid disks and/or put a heat gun through the ventilation ports until it shits itself. Just wait 'till she's loving with it before you do
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Sep 12, 2009 00:56
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Antioch posted:I got a ticket today involving an error when the user is trying to save files in any Office 2007 program. It only happens when they use the drop down dialog, and then there's about 20 minutes of wait time while the 'Root Folders' access, and then the program hangs and dies. You can browse to the folder fine though. You sure those mappings aren't still in her logon script somewhere? The fuckers could be automapping.
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Sep 12, 2009 01:41
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mllaneza posted:Can you reassign tickets ? Can you reassign them to someone senior to you ? Think you might get away with reassigning anything without contact info to, like, your boss ? Someone (guess who ) complained about us kicking tickets back to them, so the powers that be decided that we can't do that anymore. They know that, and they also know that they have no accountability so if there's one of those weird tickets that they are unsure of who it goes to, they just simply send it to us and we get to figure it out, find the person who handles it, then follow up for them afterwards.
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Sep 12, 2009 17:48
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I'm starting to work that angle a little and see how it goes. We're an internal bunch, the helldesk is too. I also have a habit of logging loads of extra time in our tickets since we are being tracked when I have to track people down to get important little tidbits of information like error messages and machine names and phone numbers. I have started to hear a few grumblings from our users when I call them back, remote in and do simple poo poo like delete/rebuild a normal.dot. I don't want to start outright bashing them, especially to users, but I sure as hell note in in the tickets. Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 15:32 on Sep 15, 2009 |
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Sep 15, 2009 15:11
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This gem came from none-other than the helpdesk MANAGER. Click here for the full 1440x900 image. No department/location. No asset information. Wrong phone number. Everything in our house has an easily readable barcode label on it that's tied to our asset tracking system they they are REQUIRED to have in every ticket. On top of all that, I ( after looking the person up in outlook ) find out that it's an offiste office. It has to sit in the queue until I can get this person on the phone, yet we are the ones being time tracked. I don't know if it's a laser with a dud cartridge/fuser or a 50 dollar inkjet that's screwed, or one of the expensive inkjets that needs a new print head, or a goddamn paper and pen. The helpdesk Manager is this horrible, imagine how fun the rest of them are 
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Sep 15, 2009 15:57
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Only if you also add a " When I get around to it" ETA option
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Sep 15, 2009 16:38
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This printer. This loving Printer.... This loving shitkicking god drat printer. I got paged about a printer on the way to work about 7:30 this morning, making noise, jamming, etc. I go up to the floor without my morning coffee since it's "urgent" and all and find a HP 3005TN ( peice of poo poo) with what sounds like a stripped out set of toner drive gears. I go to swap it out, and beat me senseless with a hard drive in a sock the goddamn thing's got an integrated JetDirect, which means I gotta do about 75 different things, including getting our rear end in a top hat network guy to unlock the swtict port, and another rear end in a top hat server guy to re-reserve the IP to go with the new MAC, test it, gently caress a donkey, etc etc. I go get a loaner off the shelf, slap a spare Jetdirect card in it, and bring it back up 4 floors only to find that fffffffffuck the fuser is bad and no one labelled it. Back down I go and come back with a different printer, hook it all back up, talk to rear end in a top hat network guy and get the port unlocked, then play phone tag with the rear end in a top hat server guy for the next hour until he reserves the IP. Of couse it's still not pulling the correct IP, after exchanging several calls with the AHSG, it's determined that that mac was already reserved for the last thing it was used for. 30 more minutes of loving with it + phone tag and I'm heading back downstairs to get an un-hosed jet direct card. Popped the new Jetdirect in, played phone tag with the rear end in a top hat network guy to get him to unlock the port again after a conversation that went something like:  Hey can you unlock this port for me again? Why? I just unlocked that port. Explains how the last Jetdirect card wasn't pulling IP's and that it's hosed and had to get another one. are you sure you didn't gently caress up? Explains the situation slowly fine here doneNow im waiting on rear end in a top hat server guy to call me again so we can re-reserve the loving IP and get this mother loving printer working again. All the while the user involved is calling the helpdesk, who doesn't read the ticket about what's going on and is lighting up my pager the entire loving goddamn time. I may actually kill someone before this is over.
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Sep 17, 2009 16:52
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Puck42 posted:Do you two work together? Hilariously no. Every port in our house is locked down by MAC. It's just a double bitch when we have to change a printer NIC because it gets two different departments involved. One to unlock the port, and another to reserve the proper IP for that printer in DHCP. Big organizations suck because of that. Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Sep 18, 2009 |
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Sep 18, 2009 00:26
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Subject: Computer shutting itself down on it's own. Description: Computer shutting itself down on it's own. I immediately shake my head in disgust at the usual helpdesk ineptitude at work with that masterful display of troubleshooting there Normally, I say to myself "Well poo poo. XP's BSOD'ing on her, or the monitor's dead and the HD is dumb, or etc etc ", dutiflly grab my CD to try a repair then eventually saying gently caress it and ghosting the fucker. However, this one was special. I show up and it's an old crusty nurse, who's not happy about her computer cutting off. I ask her to switch it on, and I can't believe my eyes.. She was holding the power button down the entire time so it would POST, start booting XP and then promptly shut off.  For once I can't blame the HD for being the lazy shits they are on that one.
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Sep 25, 2009 16:39
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delpheye posted:Anytime I get a ticket/email/phone call that sounds like that I just assume it's malware. Almost every single time, it's the root cause. I don't even bother troubleshooting most errors or symptoms any more. Especially when the use reports a host of random behavior. Either it's worth the time to scan or it's not so it gets reinstalled. Same here. I'll let trend run a scan and maybe a malware bytes scan if it's a particularily hard machine to rebuild, otherwise it's back up the old profile and ghost the fucker.
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Sep 25, 2009 20:32
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That's awesome! ^^ Let's just say that Sub7 was in it's heyday when I was in college. The beautiful thing about it, was it would send you an ICQ page when an infecte dmachine would access the internet and/or dial in to an isp. I Ran the client off a box I didnt give a gently caress about(since the client infected you too) and holy poo poo the things I saw  First off I planted it on all the lab pc's in my dorm. Since we were all on 10 meg, the screen sharing component worked beautifully. I had countless hotmail passwords, and witnessed depraved poo poo like the RA and the 60 year old+ professor's budding gay relationship, Several rather personal messages about very private and personal problems ( advised one of them in general conversation not to do anything "rash"), who was loving who in a rather small college, etc. However the twig that finally turned a camel into a paraplegic was when the infection component found it's way into the campus police machine. Nobody I liked had to worry abotu parking tickets anymore. At least until the CS department managed to patch the vulnerability. I ended up getting a slap on the wrist for it all, but it was a hell of a lot of fun while it lasted.
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Sep 26, 2009 01:15
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I figured it wouldn't take someone in here long to locate an empty saddle on a high horse. Way to 
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Sep 26, 2009 03:20
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I was also about 19 at the time. Kids do dumb poo poo.
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Sep 26, 2009 16:56
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Another brainfart courtesy of our hapless helpless deskquote:Summary WELL I loving WONDER WHY!!!She was holding the goddamn power button down so it would boot halfway through and get the kill power signal. Helpdesk couldn't handle that..
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Oct 9, 2009 16:43
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rolleyes posted:Ahaha, oh man. I don't think you realise how much the definition of "beer" differs between the UK and the US. Generally Americans think our beer is warm soup made out of poo poo, and we tend to find US beers (those that get imported anyway) taste like watery piss if they're ever served at a temperature warm enough to taste. Sam Adams. ^^ Rogue is loving awesome
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Oct 9, 2009 21:20
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Antioch posted:I've had to use that buggy, horrible POS Numara program for almost 2 years now. I hate it so much. One of the guys I work with was put in charge of organizing the Inventory and making sure it was up to date once a month. a year ago he was given the project, I think he almost has the Inventory sorted, maybe. Would that happen to be Numara Footprints? That is one horrid sack of poo poo. We always called it Fuckprints. ^^ There was a time when Magic was very good. Not really sure what is the top one nowadays. I can tell you that our multi million dollar CA Unicenter Service desk is a steaming turd. EDIT: Thinking about it now.. No one in here is going to say anything good about a ticket system that doesn't accept " when I get around to it " as a resolution time. Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Oct 15, 2009 |
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Oct 15, 2009 15:56
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 03:20 |
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Today is going to be fun Most of our PC's got the push for the new timechage date, but none of the PDA's did. Of course with people inputting medical orders on those devices it's just a little bit of a big deal if they're an hour behind.
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Oct 26, 2009 13:09
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