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Crowley posted:aaaand who sets the GPO? And thus another power-mad IT technician was born...
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Sep 10, 2009 16:26
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I read these and I praise the lord that my tier 1 job isn't like yours. (Government) That being said, here's a conversation I had today. (We have released a new online program and so I'm taking calls. We mailed out the username (Admin*randnumber*) and initial password (random) to everyone that had signed up. When the user logs in for the first time, they have to change the password. However, what people don't get is that the USERNAME stays the same! This is printed in the letter in bold text as well!)  *place of work*, this is RadicalR speaking. Yeah, I'm trying to log on! Your thing doesn't work! Right, can I have your name? John Smith (not really).So I look him up and sure enough, he has logged in. Sir, what are you typing in as the user name? JSmith. That's wrong. It'll be the user name on the letter we sent you. WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT! : It's written there in bold text, sir. Well, how do I change it?: You can't, sir. Sorry. That's stupid! Why should I have to remember another user name?: That's how it was set up. If you don't want to remember, may I suggest returning to filing by paper?So he tries to log in. No dice. IT STILL WON'T LET ME IN. YOU LIED.: Sir, are you sure you're typing the user name correctly? YES, I'M SURE. DO I SOUND RETARDED TO YOU?: (Biting my tongue here) You do know the user name is case-sensitive. (ALSO PRINTED ON THE LETTER IN BOLD) SO? Oh. I'm in. Thanks. *hangs up*
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Sep 12, 2009 05:21
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Well, the other thing is we don't know who's these people are going to be. (We can be about 75% sure). The funniest part is that each place we sent these to requires two admin accounts. So the default admin (Admin93480) has to create another account for someone else there. The best part? The new account get to choose their username. So yeah, 
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Sep 12, 2009 21:32
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evobatman posted:I'm the first one ever to say "No" to users at my workplace, that's why it won't be my workplace anymore after next week. They fired you? That sucks.
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Sep 20, 2009 02:58
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Spermy Smurf posted:Dude, that was awesome! 
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Sep 25, 2009 17:14
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My god, thankfully we have our own auditors and TRUSTED externals ones here. Here's a ticket I had today. Bit of backstory. We have field agents throughout the nation. However, they aren't always promised an internet connection. Our workaround for this was to give them Sprint wifi dongles. Recently we sent out an update for these things. Now some of them had old firmwares that had to be updated. You can see where this is going. Hi, my card doesn't work anymore. : Okay, is there any lights on it? Nope. Windows is making all kinds of funny noises. (He's talking about the device detected sound.) That's strange. Did you run the update on it? Yes, but I saw that message about the firmware and I canceled it.: Why did you do that? We wrote in the instructions not to cancel that. What instructions?
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Nov 16, 2009 15:38
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AutoArgus posted:Don't people read? Well, the best part is that we dock his paycheck for the broken part. If it was wear and tear or an accident, that would be one thing. But he didn't read the drat instructions, so he gets to pay. Too bad it won't teach him anything.
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Nov 16, 2009 17:56
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Arsten posted:One user that had a nasty 25-year-old keyboard that went from RJ-11->AT->PS/2->USB in a giant comical adapter stack. My first thought was Eww. My second thought was "Holy crap, this actually works?" I gotta see a picture of this.
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Dec 9, 2009 04:53
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Reading these has made me so glad that I work for a government agency. That means laptop lockdowns, forced password changes, and approved hardware lists. If you buy something that's not on the list, tough poo poo, we're not supporting it. Users have to be nice to us, since we make users come do detail duty on the helpdesk. People here actually know and do their loving jobs. When poo poo breaks, they fix it. I love my job and never want to leave it. That said, we sometimes get idiot users. I managed to save one from her own stupidity. We have network shares set up for each user and recommend people to back up weekly. I was working with a user on an outlook issue (the pst file hit 2 gigs! We tell users 600 megs MAX) and found that the user had not done any backup for over a year. So I make her do the backup and sure enough, the following week, the hard drive fails. User can't stop thanking me  Course, user is not too thrilled in losing 3-4 years of email. (We don't do email recovery or data recovery)
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Dec 31, 2009 23:52
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Richard Noggins posted:You can guess what transpired next. No, it's your job to tell us! We can't fully appreciate the experience if you don't finish it.
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Jan 13, 2010 14:41
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Cryptic Edge posted:User pwnage Midenle posted:Calvin & Hobbes will come back from the grave 
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Feb 17, 2010 16:59
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Dick posted:Dick: Can you use the one you didn't put in my mailbox?
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Mar 31, 2010 19:30
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Whoa whoa whoa, when did IT turn into retail? Oh right, self-entitled people. For content, here's a good one. I was on the phone with an employee in another state. She was not able to get online with the Sprint Wireless card. I ask her to plug the card in directly into the USB port (for the cable that comes with it often goes bad.) She goes "But if I do that, it won't fit!"  Confused, I ask her just what exactly does she mean. "It's bent!" These usb sticks don't bend that easy, lady.  So I tell her that she isn't getting that thing working today and that we will send her a new one. She gets mad. My job is just to debug stuff. So if someone gets nasty with me, I can just go  . Of course, I'm not sure why she's getting so mad; I mean, she's getting a NEW card!
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Apr 15, 2010 17:02
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I'll take "Never". That guy will be there until he retires.
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May 1, 2010 14:06
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Did someone talk about old IBM keyboards? Model M repesent!  Sorry for the craptastic picture; my m-robe camera was the only thing I could find nearby.
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May 27, 2010 01:56
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^ There is a God! And He hast decreed you DRINK!
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May 30, 2010 02:19
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Um... What am I missing here? FB is talking about the Helldesk? Or is this his new job?
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Jun 2, 2010 16:45
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Lenovo T500. What a piece of poo poo. "Unable to boot hard drive - not detected." Okay, call it in. IBM comes and replaces the board. I set up it. "Laptop now bluecreens when starting Vista!" FFFFFFFF. (Defective board. Had this problem before.) IBM comes and fixes it again. Give it back to user. "Laptop now randomly shuts off!"
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Jul 22, 2010 19:51
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coyo7e posted:Apparently, IBM doesn't do very good QA on their boards. Being that we are using Bitlocker and apparently half of the new boards that IBM gives us BSOD upon loading Vista bitlockered (Don't ask). However, this doesn't happen when I load an unencrypted Vista drive. As for the randomly shutting off, thankfully, the users here are a bit smarter than that. He and some other people also were working together when the laptop cut off, losing the file he was working on. Sucks to be that dude.
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Jul 23, 2010 04:20
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Weatherman posted:Dude, how many times we gotta tell you? We're all drunk; it's just a matter of degrees. And poor enotnert has to deal with academia. That's a good enough excuse for permanent drunkenness.
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Aug 19, 2010 12:03
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Are you sure you can't have the system scan for exclamation marks and CAPITAL LETTERS? Reject the submission for "not following proper format." And when they ask what the proper format is, tell them to look on their resume.
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Aug 21, 2010 15:13
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enotnert posted:I went back in this morning to reimage the failed ones, made a barricade out of spare desks, and literally chairs 11 deep. And no picture of this glorious sight? Dude, what about OUR needs!? Anyways, content. Had a fun ticket today. User is unable to scan using HP 2840. Lovely. Let me go take a look. Hmmm, settings are all right. Strange. Google tells me that scanning ONLY WORKS WITH VISTA. Nice job, HP!
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Aug 31, 2010 17:31
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Who knows? They might PAY him to put the shirt back on
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Oct 19, 2010 02:17
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The more I read about this Tony, the more I have to marvel at his sheer incompetent. The man is a walking liability to the company. The only way he's going to get fired if he a) get caught stealing the money, b) walks in naked and slaps the CEO across the face with his dong, or c) Get arrested for unspeakable crimes against humanity. (One could argue that (c) is already in progress!)
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Oct 25, 2010 23:13
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Holy poo poo, a Woodbridge goon?  Do you live near Route 1?
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Oct 29, 2010 16:36
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You get to be rude to your callers? What do you work for?
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Oct 30, 2010 04:58
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^ Just make sure your rear end is covered. Because when poo poo goes down, they are going to try to blame the IT monkey.
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Nov 3, 2010 15:02
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Sounds like the user is trying for the "I DIDN'T GET ANY HELP FROM IT YOU GUYS SUCK I'M TALKING TO YOUR BOSS" tactic. Or rather maybe he's hoping someone will break down and whip Windows 7 outta their rear end. Hard to tell with idiots like these.
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Nov 6, 2010 02:31
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^^ Best story ever. I love this. To contribute, a ticket came in. some idiot posted:Printer on 4th floor not printing! help. We have like 5 printers on that floor. A little more detail would be nice. Thankfully, I know one person near each printer and was able to figure out which printer was the offender. (I don't have print server access.) Problem? Paper jam. Learn to read the instructions on the screen, people. Bonzo, that's nothing. Try having LAPTOPS running 32bit Vista with 4gigs of RAM with Bitlocker enabled. (Shoot me).
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Nov 30, 2010 19:58
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^ Sounds like you made out fine. Our holiday party is tomorrow. Thankfully, they told me early today what they wanted playing, so I have time to get the laptops set up before COB today. The only bad part is the drives are taking FOREVER to dupe.
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Dec 13, 2010 18:38
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^^I hope you did a backup! Also, I love users that call you saying that their computers are broken, but when you need to take their laptops away to fix it, they're all like "BUT I NEED IT TO WORK". Well, that's too goddamn bad! I need to do my job too! (They can access their emails on any machine. So they still can work.)
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Dec 20, 2010 15:26
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The users. They KNOW, man, they KNOW. They feed on your tears and rage. Content: Telling an user that no, they cannot install their home printers on the company's laptops. Then they try to go over my head to my boss. Good thing my boss tells them to get bent.
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Jan 12, 2011 17:39
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Well, it's kinda hard to be an English major if you're blind. Not to say impossible, but just hard. (Out of curiosity, where is your avatar from, Bardlebee?) Content: Guy called again trying to get his home printer installed. Got pissed when he got me, and more pissed when I told him "No means no." Because if we allow him to install it, we'll be expected to support it. "Thanks for supporting your staff!" and hangs up on me. We have an list of approved printers. (Apparently this is a brand new printer he bought. So, he ignored our list of approved printers and did his own thing.) Listen, buddy, we state quite clearly not only in the manual we provide for you, but also in your training class that we don't allow this. And you already called me once before and I told you no. Don't pull this passive-aggressive bullshit on me because unlike the private sector, we don't have metrics. Piss me off and I'll become the helldesk. (I try not to because I like being nice to people.) tl;dr: Idiot calls wanting to install home printer that we told him three times now that we aren't going to do it. Even my boss told him no. I guess he's expecting a different result if he keeps asking?
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Jan 12, 2011 22:15
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^ So not only did she damage the the outlet, but also made you risk electrocution in order to take care of it? I would be reporting her to the building people just for the super gluing part.
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Feb 8, 2011 16:17
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I would go to the users' desk and turn their workstations upside down. And then when confronted, provide the ticket that told me to "flipflop" them.
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Feb 8, 2011 17:33
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Reasons I don't like Office Communicator? It does not like Outlook. We have had cases where Communicator either locks up outlook (completely freezes it so no new mail can come in) or cause outlook not start up again after it has been closed once. My fix: Disable the sonofabitch and hope that the next version will fix these bugs.
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Feb 11, 2011 03:46
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^^ hear, hear. I don't know how many times I have heard one of my users wail when their hard drive crashes and they realize that they didn't back up. And my department doesn't do data recovery.  Edit: Crap, new page. Um, I hate HP so much. One of our 9050dn developed a "can't close the left door, something is blocking it" syndrome and it causes a paper jam every time someone prints to it. Also, 2 HP MF1522 failed at the same time. So I get in and my desk have all of these notes telling me I need to get them back up and running because they have important documents that needs to be scanned. I'm very tempted to recommend HP 1220s, since they are apparently the last good thing HP made. (The boss loves HP.)
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Feb 12, 2011 16:11
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I had a department that had one of those. When the decree came around to replace the oldest printer with a "more improved" one, I actually had people begging me not to take it. It's heartbreaking to see a grown woman in tears because she knows she's getting a inferior product. But what could I do?
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Feb 14, 2011 07:22
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Yeah, you say that until Freddie Kruger shows up. Then you'll be begging us to keep you awake. :colber:
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Feb 15, 2011 03:42
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| # ¿ Apr 24, 2024 19:42 |
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^ Your avatar works so well with that post. Content - People, if you keep infecting your computer by going to a site, STOP GOING TO THAT SITE. It's rather tiring having to perform a system restore while I'm busy taking calls and processing orders. (And it's a legit site - Banner problems though.)
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Feb 25, 2011 00:17
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