Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

AlexDeGruven posted:

People used to look at me like I had 3 heads when I'd say "Man, I can't wait 'til we get on Exchange...". That was until I told them we were on GW.

Lotus Notes here. I don't think I need to say anything more.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Migishu posted:

I feel sorry for you.

I would not have believed before I got this job how many different places you can set the ports that Lotus uses to connect to another server. I don't think I've ever found a more succinct argument for why you should have an application designer that isn't the programmer.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Stonefish posted:

poo poo that you come across daily that pisses you off:

People endlessly making Matrix references about Dick Trauma and others because everyone else does it. Without thinking.

It really cuts down on the comedy value when what you're saying makes absolutely zero loving sense :v:

Do you really come across it that often?

I guess I'm just lucky enough to work with people who are comedically aware enough to know that, say, the Monty Python non-sequiturs just aren't that funny without the proper context, and the more you use it the less funny it gets?

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

TenjouUtena posted:

Walks to people office to tell them I emailed them. :smug:

HOLY SWEET JESUS ARGH

I'm not in tech support, I'm a build engineer for a game company. So I'll have a producer file a build request (which automatically emails me), add comments to it of additional stuff they forgot to put in the original build req (which sends me more emails), then email me to tell me they filed a build req, then walk to my desk to make sure that I got their email about the build req.

Repeat, for every producer, on every project.

:suicide:

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

The Cubelodyte posted:

Today's phishing attempt, duly reported by our users:


I thought I'd felt something rumbling earlier today, but assumed it was just gas.

I'm more interested in how exactly that maintenance was "scheduled". I can picture someone frantically scribbling on a calendar with a sharpie-- "There, it's scheduled now! Take the servers down!"

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Fox_Spy posted:

Hey, that's a totally accurate picture of a contemporary computer setup. It only looks like a CRT, it's actually a flat panel plus tower crammed into a CRT monitor case.

Shhh, don't tell anyone. Management doesn't know about the VGA port that I converted into a beer tap.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Volmarias posted:

This isn't always a great solution. Hey programmer, what's that? You want to use a hex editor that isn't on the list? Nope, gently caress you, you get to wait 2 weeks for the "process" to finish itself.

It depends on how your domain is set up. Most of the tools I run on a day-to-day basis don't require admin rights to install, or (for some) need a full install process in the first place (which is to say, they don't have hardcoded C:\Program Files\ path expectations, and don't need to drop 30 regkeys in HKLM and 20 DLLs in the system32 folder). If you're actually just restricting admin rights, as opposed to whitelisting executables, most sane users are going to be fine.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

yaoi prophet posted:

How else can you store passwords? If it's encrypted, the encryption method has to be publicly available because it's open-source, including the keys.

To be fair, whatever it stores it as has to be easily-retrievable if it's logging into services for you, but I would feel a little better if it at least had the option of encrypting them with a private pgp key that you had to enter the password for each time you started it up.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Salt Fish posted:

Isn't that technically less secure and more work compared to setting the program to not remember your login credentials?

Probably, technically, but it's always a question of "amount of time you want to invest in security" vs. "amount of time you want to save by saying 'gently caress security'".

I could probably be more secure by encrypting my entire hard drive and having 3 layers of on-boot passwords, but that doesn't mean I want to do that. And I feel safe enough in my browsing habits that I'd be fine with having a PGP-encrypted file with my IM client passwords in it, but I don't feel like having to type in... *counts* 6 account passwords every time I open my laptop, or my network drops, or MSN decides that "Hey gently caress you" and just flat disconnects.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Maggot Monster posted:

Within two weeks your replacement will have broken the script completely to the point it no longer works and will be back to doing everything manually. It's ultra depressing.

Quick, you have a day to perl-golf it.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

couldcareless posted:

So he not only pissed me off, he tied up my phone line. Awesome.

Obviously the proper response is to pretend you don't notice the fact that it's tied up, and then when people complain, be like 'I checked the logs, and apparently this guy decided to tie up my phone line. His number is xxx-xxxx and his home address is etc etc...'

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Burning_Monk posted:

The correct response is, "Thor be upon you as well."

I have the weirdest boner right now.

I should start using something like that as my default email signature.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

ruro posted:

Oh, one of those people... Condolences :(.

I was actually IT for the longest time in an environment where tickets *weren't* explicitly needed, and it was beauteous to behold.

To wit, I worked for one school in a school district. Our manager was previously a teacher, so he knew how the thought process worked, and made time every day to offer to other teachers to teach them how to use Word properly, make Camtasia presentations, etc etc. Worked brilliantly, no teacher complained about response time on actual issues (which were occasionally silly, like flipping the setting on the projector from S-Video to VGA or whatever), and pretty much no ticket was live for more than a day unless it was a district-wide thing.

The downside is the districts other 3 schools had absolute poo poo response time and vapid teachers, so they set up a full-fledged cross-school helpdesk ticket system and insisted we document everything. Then they pulled half of the permissions that us first-level IT guys had (resetting user passwords, for example), and response times ended up spiking dramatically.

Bad times all around.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

ZanderZ posted:

Make sure you tell them a thousand times to "Put everything you wish to save on the server in the folder with your name on it." Then once you've told them a thousand times, watch as they leave right when the bell rings, without backing up any of their work.

The next day...
"WHAT THE FECK HAPPENED TO MUH WORK!"

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I was working at a HS, we even had the student's \\users\$student folder bound on login to the My Documents folder, and the default for just about every program is My Documents. Students still managed to out-dumb the system; every day I had one or two people run screaming into the library between classes, trying to figure out which of the drop-in computers they were sitting at yesterday/last week/last month to try and get the local files off them before they had to turn them in the next period.

Icesler posted:

I don't understand how its okay for others to not follow policy, be rude to IT, disregard our schedules and priorities, basically treat us like we are supposed to get on our knees and suck their dicks. All because we are a "service" department. I need to get into a new field.
5 year helpdesk vet :smithicide:

Holy god, that brings back memories. Most of the people I helped were perfectly fine, but god help you if ANYTHING IT-related ever happened and it was the Union Rep who brought a complaint. He spent a month on a rampage against every individual person in the IT department because his wifi was "acting up", which we later found out was because of his microwave.

God drat, that guy.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

coyo7e posted:

Been there, seen that. A really ditzy woman who manages one of our grants, decided that this really heavy, 8 foot long table with 4 CRT monitors and 4 desktops beneath it, needed to be moved from one side of a room to the other. So she just corralled 4 or 5 people who work under her, had them grab it and start pushing.

Of course all of the carefully velcro'd cables and power strips and network cables were not unplugged, first. She destroyed 2 wall outlets for network jacks, three power strips, and two electrical outlets.

Her ticket was "we need to have the computers in room 319 reconnected to the network, we rearranged the room." Nobody even noticed that they'd torn 4 holes in the wall.

The thing that depresses me about these threads is the fact that they never end in "...and then they got fired".

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Ridge_Runner_5 posted:

I had a user at my previous gig who said "Ridge, this laptop wont dock!" and then showed me by literally slapping the laptop onto the dock over and over again, from no single angle in particular, just all the wrong ones.

I had a user that, when faced with the issue of not having enough USB sockets, stuck a wired network PCMCIA card into their laptop and managed to jam another USB plug into that. And then filed a ticket about "need a new USB keyboard" when that didn't work.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

ZanderZ posted:

It's just like anything else. You need to communicate your needs beyond "HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! URGENT! NEED HELP! NEED URGENT HELP! URGENT PROBLEM! SEND HELP IMMEDIATELY!"

One of the most important life lessons regarding IT that I have *ever* learned came from a sysadmin at my last job.

His advice, is "Wait for it."

I JUST RESTARTED THE WEB SERVER BUT IT'S NOT COMING UP YET

"Wait for it."

I MODIFIED A USER'S PASSWORD BUT IT'S STILL NOT LETTING THEM IN WHAT THE F-

"Wait for it."

THE COMPUTERS IN LAB 221 JUST FINISHED IMAGING BUT THEY'RE ALL BOOTING TO A BLACK SCREEN

"Wait for it."

90% of the time, he was right; it was just whatever program silently doing poo poo without any output or indication that it was working.

It's always such a headache trying to impress that on users, though.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Griz posted:

yaaay nationwide credit card processor outage! an hour of saying "there is an outage, we have no ETA, try again every 5 or 10 minutes so you can see when it comes back up", and then an hour of saying "there was an outage, it was fixed, please try again and call back if you still have issues"

70 tickets in 2 hours

More ticket processing software needs "group by" functionality. Drop every ticket of one issue into a bucket, and then close out the bucket and the response goes to everyone.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Billy the Mountain posted:

:words:

Oh god, people like this actually exist?

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Fox_Spy posted:

I'm actually more surprised that those are part of the requirements for a Senior Manager position. You'd think the Senior Manager would have people to do that for him.

They just put "Senior" in the title so that they can require someone with a college degree and 10 years of on the job experience.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Jeoh posted:

Win + R.

TenjouUtena posted:

"Go to Start, and click Run. Type Em Ess Tee Ess See. I don't care what's already there, delete it. Em Ess Tee Ess See. Press Enter."

This, and this. It's absolutely shocking to me that there's any IT support that interacts in any way with Windows and doesn't both know:

1. About Win + R, and
2. The Run-line names of at least a couple of programs that they have to use on a regular basis (like mspaint or notepad).

I used to have at least half of the names of those "cpl" links memorized, when I was actually supporting people on a day-to-day basis.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

FISHMANPET posted:

I've gotten so in the habit of win + r cmd <enter> that whenever I want to run a command prompt as admin, I do that before I realize what I'm doing and have to type cmd into the Win 7 search box.

Again with the "WHEN I WAS IN IT" thing, but I distinctly remember having something along the lines of
code:
runas /user=Administrator cmd
as a fairly common default in my run box. (I don't know if that's the exact syntax; after I had the chance I moved to a Macbook for personal poo poo.)

mobn posted:

I hate to keep saying "but, but", but these laptops predate the win key. I'm not joking about how ghetto their setup is.

Oh, god.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Dick Trauma posted:

That's my favorite space saver keyboard of all time. Now when you try to get a space saver they have those lovely laptop keys.

Really? Maybe we just still have them backlogged, but both my former and current place have those style of Dell keyboards.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

madmaan posted:

Yes. And for what microsoft makes off of you, its not exactly a lot.

It's still probably more than you're getting, if you work at a place that's skinflinty enough to pirate MS products.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Brut posted:

So a laptop comes in with some fake antivirus bullshit that I removed, but not before seeing this.

That looks like the brand of laptop that we gave to students in the laptop carts. The ones that came back missing half their keys on any given day.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Yaos posted:

You can use TightVNC or any of the other 10 billion VNC programs. It's free for any use. You'll need to install it on the computers though.

TightVNC is okay of you need free, but it seems pretty crash-prone and slow as poo poo on Macs to boot. If you can get someone to spring (ha!) for RealVNC, it seems a lot more fast and reliable (at least, in my experience. YMMV.)

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

FISHMANPET posted:

I drink vodka because I can't stand the taste of alcohol, so the less it tastes like anything the better.

And I don't want to drink a christmas tree.

This. If I want something flavorful and tasty, I'll get something flavorful and tasty that doesn't have the aftertaste of rubbing alcohol. The point of booze is to be drunk, not to discuss it's nose and poignant bouquet.

...At least, in my estimation. I'm fully open to the idea that my taste buds will change again at some point in the future, and I can fully enjoy the taste of various alcoholic beverages.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Digital_Jesus posted:

This strategy also works for budget documentation and purchase requests. The outcome is the same if anything is on the page or not.

Just tie the ability for your superiors to work on their computers to your budget.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Biowarfare posted:

FYI this is the easiest to get a virus/trojan/malware/some form of shitware

I won't post a direct link to it because I'm not sure if that counts as :filez: or not, but I found a python script that literally does everything you could need from the command line in regards to grabbing stuff from Youtube. And I'm pretty sure it was the first or second result that wasn't either a web script or a $40 AWESOME WINDOWS PROGRAM for it.

Which isn't to say that any of the users noted here could use it, just saying that there's stuff for this that isn't lovely malware.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Scaramouche posted:

I'm helping a friend with his amazon store and he showed me a golden email. A guy bought a piece of jewelry off my friend two months ago, but then lost it when he went swimming in a pool. He now wants a refund.

Can you post this email? I really want to see what rationale he's using here.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Scaramouche posted:

OriginalPsuedonym:
I can't and shouldn't publish specifics but there's not much more to it than that. Just, 'lost it in a fashion that is no way your fault, outside of return period, I want a refund'.

Aw. I was hoping for a "If someone asked me for a refund like this I would gladly return the money", or "Anyone of any amount of morality would obviously see that I'm not responsible and you should return the money", or even "I talked to my goldfish and we both agreed that you giving my money back would be the Right Thing To Do".

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Sirotan posted:

Could be worse, I had a manager email me today asking if I would make a special trip to a remote site to move a user's keyboard.

There's a pro Starcraft player out there, whose name I forget, who brings a ruler with him to matches. Occasionally, in the middle of a match, he'll stop the however-many-hundred actions per minute that he's doing, whip out the ruler, measure the distance between keyboard and mouse, keyboard and desk edge, etc, and adjust it accordingly. Then he resumes playing.

For some reason I can just picture you running in from the side like the member of a pit crew to do that for him.

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Gwaihir posted:

I love passive aggressive as gently caress tickets.

Ticket comes in:
"Computer is slow, application XYZ loads and displays documents really slowly, pc stops responding, even after I reboot. However, I know what will happen. You will ask me to reproduce these difficulties and I will not be able to. This has happened non stop for 4 days! This is affecting my work!"

Close it out with "User noted he could not reproduce, closing ticket."

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Ygolonac posted:

:wtc: indeed.

Although, if exercise-ball-sitting is a "thing", maybe I should put in a request...



"I'm off to the staff meeting!"

BOING
BOING
BOING

Also, they appear to have reset the Nannywall at work. :smith:

I had someone working at my company that did this for awhile. Occasionally on late nights I'd borrow it and replace my chair for the novelty of it, but I couldn't imagine dealing with it on a regular basis.