|
porktree posted:Note to IT, don't give a loving login and password for the DC to someone who's not in IT. Because he's your boss god dammit (or the son of the boss, or his good friend from middle school, or some random guy the boss gave keys to), and by god he can do whatever the gently caress he wants. If something breaks, "I don't care, just make it work already!" is the only answer you'll get from the big boss. It's also your fault for not being a loving precog to stop dipshit McGee before he manages to do something retarded.
|
#
¿
Aug 13, 2009 04:34
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 20:15 |
|
|
Dick Trauma posted:Apparently I missed my cancer opportunity to drop a lot of poo poo on someone. Why does no one tell me these things? Yes, but also be on the lookout for an undiagnosed heart murmur or sudden onset of arthritis. Ever since the editor of Voodoo Today got the AARP newsletter, there has been a sudden upswing in the number of voodoo related chronic illnesses.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 3, 2009 02:28
|
|
|
Lysidas posted:It took me a few reads to fully understand that. English is my first language and I'm in a Ph.D. program for computer engineering. Lots of my fellow students are international and it's pretty apparent when they speak or write that English is not their first language. Am I the only one who read that right the first time as 'We will not have your stupid application ready before the 15th, stop loving asking us about it!'?
|
|
#
¿
Nov 5, 2009 07:05
|
|
|
psylent posted:I work for an IT outsourcer and we support about 30-40 small-large businesses. One of our guys has been the main contact for one of our medium sized (about 100 employees) sites for the last 18 months and knows the client inside out. He quit last week and I've been given the client to look after. Am I the only one who loves doing documentation? Perhaps I'm just odd, but it's like a big puzzle, and any time I spent just wandering the site peering in closets and carrying a clipboard around are billable hours. Depending on how hosed the site is, I can end up spending upwards of 20 hours just tracing physical plant stuff and getting a rough idea where the gently caress everything is. It's a good thing my boss knows I do good work and basically shields me from dealing with extraneous bullshit while I'm busy trying to figure out exactly how a 7 year 10mbit hub got buried inside a wall, and how much bullshit it'll take to demolish part of the office to correct it.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 19, 2009 16:09
|
|
|
ErIog posted:This is why I like working on old machines. It's one thing to fix modern stuff, it's another to fix poo poo you've never seen before in your life. That makes you feel like a true badass. Or like some kind of soldering GOD, because you just replaced three dozen exploded capacitors on the motherboard so some old as gently caress dual Pentium 3 motherboard could boot again.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 8, 2010 08:39
|
|
|
Brigdh posted:gently caress, if I were you, that would make my day. God yes, playing "what have we here?" on NAS/SAN shares is always the high point of my audits. The fact that I have yet to see one that doesn't have either infringing stuff, porn, or warez, it's invariably like striking a pinata full of data with a large stick. Then they rear end in a top hat manager ends up getting shitcanned for his 60GB tranny porn collection on the SAN and the peasants rejoice!
|
|
#
¿
Mar 25, 2010 02:52
|
|
|
enotnert posted:I have 4-5 different versions of word perfect at home (most reason version 6.0 dos if I'm right) not to mention 6 years of "word perfect magazine" in fancy binders from the damned magazine along with sleeves to hold each months floppy of free clipart. I have Office, Windows, AutoCad and a few others all on 3.5 floppies in a big disk caddy thing in the filing cabinet out in the garage. One of these days I'm going to line them all up in a stack and see how many floppy disks it takes to stop a .45 or something.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 29, 2010 10:01
|
|
|
Dick Trauma posted:
He must have a video of the CEO loving a goat, because jesus gently caress there is no way anyone should be able to get away with that. Since your boss is such an incompetent dipshit, I suggest a shitload of time delayed sabotage to anything you have administrative access to. With any luck you get a contractor job to unfuck whatever you did at twice your hourly rate.
|
|
#
¿
May 12, 2010 23:16
|
|
HE GOT AWAY WITH IT
|
Stonefish posted:Percussive Maintainance Engineer I have been consistently amazed how often Percussive Maintenance will solve my technology problems.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 25, 2010 14:58
|
|
|
Dick Trauma posted:When I had my first real I.T. job it was in a call center and I had to spend the first half hour of each shift cleaning the headsets of the ever flowing tide of people who had been terminated. So the poo poo you're forced to deal with is more ephemeral in nature, such as the antics of your boss, instead of biological, as in what the terminated employees probably smeared on those headsets.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2010 19:11
|
|
|
CommieGIR posted:I wish I had thought of that before they rammed themselves into the ground. Oh god they LOATHE internal billing. "Since IT is a cost center, we're going to start billing other departments to see exactly who is using the IT resources." Then when the next monthly meeting comes around and ROI gets talked about, you can claim that according to industry standard billable hour rates you were able to generate %some_absurd_value%, and that almost 60% of it was the same 8 dipshits in the marketing department who refuse to learn how to run anything.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 19, 2010 07:11
|
|
|
frozenphil posted:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVmKyJXHXRE In their defense, you'd want to be either drunk or stoned to work in a factory too.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2010 02:46
|
|
|
HandsomeBen posted:Being in HR I have to agree with this but we aren't all mentally retarded. There are the interns and temps who do the filing, who haven't been exposed long enough to whatever foul miasma HR creates that kills braincells.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 29, 2010 14:59
|
|
|
Arsten posted:DON'T use the term Bionic Anus. I once used it and....horrible things happened with the user. Bionic Anus sounds like some kind of high tech sex toy.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 1, 2010 02:06
|
|
|
Dick Trauma posted:
Not until helpdesk guy snaps and takes a hammer to Tony's face. Tell Helpdesk guy to report it in writing, then when nothing happens, send written notification that since metrics are based on ticket count, and what Tony is doing has tacit consent, he should start doing exactly the same thing.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2010 01:08
|
|
|
BangersInMyKnickers posted:
I cannot wait for some new godawful super worm that propagates because the lowest common denominator security (NAT) no longer exists and firewalls on consumer level devices are basically a joke.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 21, 2010 21:09
|
|
|
jeoh-kun posted:New one in the "EVERYTHING IS DOWN" series, "EVERYTHING MUST BE UPGRADED" More of a 'Not my money? Then I want the bestest and fastest everything ever!'
|
|
#
¿
Oct 29, 2010 12:20
|
|
|
Sniep posted:On this note, I've long completely stopped even attempting to help anyone who "just throws things out" if those things are like, oh, the "useless" CDs that come with a new system, or perhaps those "useless papers" that have serials on them. There is a very good reason Microsoft makes OEMs put the serial number sticker on the case someplace. This is that reason.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 5, 2010 10:34
|
|
|
Fox_Spy posted:I'm seriously what would happen if you started messing with Tony's computer. Give the helpdesk guy a nervous breakdown because Tony will make him fix it?
|
|
#
¿
Nov 8, 2010 22:19
|
|
|
HalloKitty posted:I get calls often where people can't understand why their mailbox is so large, and their deleted items is absolutely stuffed. I always make a backup of it, then delete it. And when they fly into a panic about not having anything and they need it now now now, I sit on my rear end for a week 'getting it off the backup tapes'. I've learned that actively punishing users for their stupidity is the only way to get them to stop doing stupid poo poo, and sometimes not even then.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 9, 2010 16:30
|
|
|
QPZIL posted:What, like the Hamburglar? Yes, exactly like the Hamburgler.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 10, 2010 19:26
|
|
|
rscott posted:I work in a machine shop, you don't really wear clothes there that you want to keep nice, inevitably they will get ruined. You also don't wear clothes that'll get caught in the lathes and rotating machinery. Coolest thing I ever saw was a gap bed engine lathe eat some dude's clip on tie. He was given 2 weeks unpaid leave for forgetting almost every safety rule and very nearly killing himself.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 11, 2010 00:02
|
|
|
Puck42 posted:I did some consulting work for one of the largest Health Insurance providers in the US. Their entire network was built on Token Ring. Every computer had an adapter to convert from Ethernet to Token Ring. We were doing email backups over the network and it would take hours to backup a 500MB mailbox. For factory work, there is at least a semi-sane reason for token ring/fiber network stuff. Some of the older unshielded or partially shielded motors used in metalforming machines and just about everything before 1975 have some hilarious as gently caress rotating magnetic fields. These will ruin the data integrity of RS-232 being driven at like 12v, much less impedance matched lines running at 1.something volts. For shits and giggles I took some 10baseT ethernet links and draped them over the top of the VMC we had running, I ended up with something like 95% lost/malformed/retransmitted packets, the only time it would work is when the spindle spun down to change tools.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 12, 2010 22:47
|
|
|
frabba posted:My only fun interference story is from a client site visit. This was a DC for one of the larger online retailers. I got pulled out of the TAC to capture data to figure out why wireless clients were dropping off of the network. If you look at a spectrograph from EMI instrumentation, a microwave puts out a loving hilarious amount of radiation. None of it is ionizing, thank gently caress, but basically anything on the 2.2-2.6 band of the radio curls into a ball and dies. Interestingly enough, a properly grounded foil hat actually solves a lot of the issues with microwaves.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 13, 2010 22:13
|
|
|
Fox_Spy posted:Clearly drinking, I wonder if he spent the weekend drunk. I just learned that if you abstain from drinking for most of a year, a single bottle of 8% beer is enough to make me quite pleasantly buzzed. I should celebrate my new found inability to tolerate alcohol with a bottle of some nice scotch, anyone have a suggestion in the $75 to $150 range? I figure it should last me long enough to spring for the good stuff.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 15, 2010 08:34
|
|
|
Farmer Crack-rear end posted:I guess the real questions are how easily the professor could pack up and find a "more accommodating" university, how much is "massive grant money" (millions?) and whether the grant money would follow him. I could see a university deciding it would be easier and cheaper to just can an IT guy and pay out a wrongful termination suit rather than risk losing the prestige and funding that the professor brings. Or how willing the administration is to drag up unrelated poo poo and give you a completely sewn up termination that would cost a ton to fight. Never underestimate management's ability to lie on paper and under oath if it'll save them money.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 17, 2010 18:15
|
|
|
Midelne posted:I swear he's actually getting worse with computers as he uses them more. I am dead certain he knew how to forward email last year at this time. My theory is as a user transitions from the blindly doing something by rote to the 'knows just enough about it to second guess themselves' stage, they start to ask questions much like a 4 or 5 year old would. Unfortunately their ossified brains cannot actually absorb this information, and you're left trying to politely hammer simple concepts into them.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 23, 2010 17:29
|
|
|
notwithoutmyanus posted:remember, your rates should not just be "fair market rates", they should be somewhere in the range of prohibitive and punitive. 2 hour minimum, $75 an hour, subject to scheduling issues.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 23, 2010 17:48
|
|
|
recon_etc posted:If I'm on page ~180 of this thread and I still want to go into the IT industry, does that mean I should seek professional help? Maybe, but as long as you're good at holding your liquor, you'll do fine.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 16, 2010 20:47
|
|
|
TomBosleyExp posted:so who else was impressed by the use of actual UNIX command line being used in Tron Legacy? I was all 'Holy poo poo, akill -9, they actually got a neckbear unix guy there to consult/sperg about it!'. Then I saw it was SolarisOS, and was even more pleased.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2010 11:43
|
|
|
Dick Trauma posted:Long story short: thought it would save some time in what I expected would be a painful slog of an install. Ultimately it did not and I had to download them anyway. That's the best part about family that understands that your time is not free, and phone support is in fact a royal pain in the rear end. That and getting cookies in the mail randomly a week later with a thank you note!
|
|
#
¿
Mar 21, 2011 18:02
|
|
|
Che Delilas posted:Well obviously. It just boggles my mind how the people running that place can think that there won't be those kinds of consequences. Like the Hilarious pile of OSHA violations you'd generate every week due to the lack of any kind of ergonomic place to park your rear end when you're required to work at the computer.
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2011 21:28
|
|
|
Crunchtime posted:I feel so much better that my home servers are Greek gods now. Zeus is MY pc. Hermes is my file server, and Apollo is my laptop. I can't get my roomate onboard though Mine are all named after horrible computers. My main box is W.O.P.R, my openindiana fileserver is skynet, and my firewall box is HAL.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 4, 2011 05:54
|
|
|
Kerbtree posted:WoW accounts are more valuable than stolen credit card numbers, supposedly. L-L-L-Look at you fatass. A pathetic creature of Cheetos and dew. Panting and sweating as you walk to the bathroom. How could you possibly ever find love? When I get my security system all set up, SHODAN will be it's host name.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 5, 2011 03:39
|
|
|
nzspambot posted:ticket came in.......our power points don't work. Ok not the building manager but hey. If you're in a single party state, use your phone to record him being a perverted rude jerk, then take the recording to HR and watch them poo poo their pants and fire him on the spot. Nothing gets HR off their asses faster than proof that a worker is creating a hostile work environment or providing fodder for a sexual harassment suit.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2011 11:23
|
|
|
Billy the Mountain posted:What I mean is, I thought the client had an exchange server. It wasn't until after I restored the machine and was able to get the server settings to reconfigure Outlook that I realized they were using a pop server somewhere. Which probably means that at most it will have the last 14 days of mail, with everything else downloaded to the .pst file I didn't back up . When I wipe a client's system, I always dump the client files to an external drive, truecrypt it with a random password, and sit on it for 90 days. Every few weeks someone forgets to tell me about some extra special super important file, like the .pst, or their tax data, and I end up looking like a loving hero. And yes, it's noted in the waiver/form they sign that the data will be backed up and stored encrypted for the full 3 months before it's deleted to free up space.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 28, 2011 06:56
|
|
|
Verizian posted:Comedy answer, they were looking up a video of their dying "friend" for the memories so they could share their grief with the others in the waiting room. Horrific fucksaw related injuries?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2011 23:45
|
|
|
notwithoutmyanus posted:I still, to this day, was all They actually sell attachments that are designed specifically for it. But every so often you get some bright child who figures he can just shove a regular dildo on the end of a sawzal blade, and bad things happen.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 28, 2011 10:00
|
|
about that. I mean who thinks attaching a dildo to a saw is a good idea? Even rednecks usually have better insight than that.
|
rolleyes posted:A ticket came in... would someone please roll back my imagination to before I read this post? This is affecting production. You can blame the GBS fucksaw thread for both those pieces of information. Unfortunately your imagination did not have Volume Shadow Copy enabled at the time of the incident. Furthermore, no tape backups exist, because your boss is a retard. Please do the needful and kill it with a 5th of scotch. Discretionary funding has been approved for the Laphroaig 18 year, please consume responsibly.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 28, 2011 14:06
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 20:15 |
|
|
Crowley posted:With my coworker off to Africa for the next nine months I'm now in charge of twice the amount of tickets. Is he working for Legitimate Nigerian banking Conglomerate, or perhaps Involuntary Sub-Saharan Crowdsourcing?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 29, 2011 10:57
|
|
